Breathless Bodies

by Brigit Levois

  "What happened little sis? Did one of these guys hurt her?" I looked up at him with tears still on my cheeks.

  "No, there was a bear." I sniffed. "We should have been more careful. So much more careful." I buried my face in my hands and started sobbing all over again.

  "Wait, where is the bear? Did you kill it?" Ragnar had the same idea I did when it happened: meat. Niobe gave a bark of laughter.

  "Hell no she didn't kill the bear. She was too busy running the other way to do much else!" As she sat and laughed to herself, Ragnar stood up to his full immense height and towered over her. When she finally realized he was standing there, she sobered immediately.

  "Unless you want to trade places with that little girl right there, I suggest you mind who you're talking about. I have no problems hauling your ass back out of this safe house and letting the walkers pick you off."

  "Don't you threaten me you damn Viking." Niobe jumped up from the chair, throwing her shoulders back and balling her fists. "I've been living out there making camp in trees since this began. Not hiding underground like a candy ass." She shouted, planting a finger in his chest. Her long braid had been flung in front of her and Ragnar's eyes followed it like a cat. Then the last thing I expected to happen, happened. Ragnar picked her up by the arms so she was eye level with him, and then started to try and swallow her face. She wrapped her legs around his torso and returned the favor.

  "Well, that was.... unexpected. Now, can you two take that somewhere else so I can fix this young one up?" At the sound of Malcolm speaking, the two broke apart and had the decency to look embarrassed.

  "Kato, can you, Ragnar, and Niobe go get the bear? We need the meat and I don't want the smell to attract scavengers or walkers. There is a wheelbarrow and some hunting knives on B deck." My mom asked. They all nodded and left. Liz and my brother had wandered off somewhere, leaving only Mom, Malcolm, Lin, and myself in the kitchen. I sat staring at Lin, waiting for any sign that she was waking up. I jumped when a hand touched my shoulder. It was my mom. Worry and anxiety were clear on her face.

  "Do you want some Irish coffee?" she asked. Well, I'll be darned. That almost brought a smile to my face, almost. I nodded and she went off to fix it up. Lin made a small noise so I stood and walked over to her.

  I don't know how much time had passed while I stared at her but Malcolm was closing the last stitch. He snipped the thread and looked in my direction.

  "She'll be alright, just as long as she stays off of it for about a week. It's not too deep so she should heal fairly fast. Is she prone to getting sick?"

  "No, she's usually as healthy as a horse." I touched her forehead, smoothing back a few hairs.

  "Thank you for bringing us here." I looked at Malcolm. His head was bent but he looked up at me from beneath amazingly long eyelashes. "I really appreciate it. You know, not many people would be so trusting."

  "Well, you did save me from a bear." We both chuckled and talked for a while, waiting for the other three to come back with the meat. After about a half an hour, my brother and Liz returned.

  "Hey, take a look at what we found. There's all kinds of things in A deck." He walked over with a box in his hands and dumped it out on the table. Several outdated military style walkie talkies spilled all over.

  "I also saw some things I could use to make solar panels in the shop so I can rig up a way to charge these bad boys. And it turns out Liz here is pretty handy with a soldering iron." Liz swatted Stevens arm and blushed. That brought a smile to my face, seeing my brother with a woman smitten with him.

  "Alright, why don't you two go figure that out and then tomorrow we'll hook up the panels." The moment I said it they were like two high schoolers, off to go make out behind the bleachers. They went back to A deck to go tinker and such.

  "Do you want to move your daughter to her bed? She'll be a bit more comfortable." Malcolm had a good point. Before I could reach for her, he had already scooped her up and was waiting for me to lead the way. I smiled and thanked him, then led the way to the kid's room. As I stepped in, I went to check on Kendrick. He was awake so I picked him up and held him while Malcolm put Lin in her bed. She shifted a little, then settled down for sleep.

  In the kitchen I made my little man some ravioli. As he sat eating his food, I started looking for that Irish coffee. I guess mom had wandered off. Malcolm sat next to Kendrick, instantly getting food thrown at him. I heard the splat and looked over. Kendrick was staring at Malcolm while the ravioli slowly slid down his cheek. I snorted, then giggled, then started laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Malcolm had joined in and Kenny sat babbling and smiling at us.

  That's how my mom found us with a bottle of whiskey in her hand. We stopped laughing and stared at mom. Then she started laughing and it set us off all over again. We were still laughing when Kato came into the kitchen. When we noticed he was covered in blood we sobered immediately.

  "What happened?" asked Malcolm as he stood to give Kato the chair.

  "We almost had the bear finished when walkers came. I guess they smelled the blood. There was 5 of them. If Ragnar hadn't been on lookout, we wouldn't have made it. They're up there finishing the bear. No one was hurt."

  "Ya know, I think that's the most I have ever heard you speak at one time." Malcolm remarked. He got up for a rag to wipe his face. "So why are you covered in blood?" he asked while cleaning off the ravioli sauce. Kato turned and gave him a blank look that spoke volumes.

  "We were skinning a bear. It is a big creature, lots of blood."

  "Alright boys, let's just get up there and finish cleaning it so we can have some fresh meat. Malcolm, can you go find Steven and Liz? Since we're going up there anyway they might as well hook up the solar panels." Malcolm nodded to me and went off in search of the two love birds. I looked back to Kato and he had a pained look on his face as he gazed off in the direction Malcolm went.

  "Are you ok?" I ask him worriedly. He stood up quickly and schooled his expression into a blank mask. His eyes still held a look of... what is that? Despondence?

  "I'm fine. We must go." He set a quick pace to the elevator as if expecting me to follow.

  "But what about the others? Don't you think we should wait?" He threw a curt look over his shoulder, his black Mohawk flowing behind him.

  "No." It was a short word, a tiny sentence, but it gave a feeling of so much more. What that was, I didn't quite know. I hopped in the elevator with him and we went up to the surface, all in stiff silence. What was going on in that mind of his?

  We reached the surface just as the sun was going down. I stopped and looked out over the horizon. The sun had turned the mountains into a black silhouette while the sky was a fiery red being chased by the soft twilight. The few clouds in the sky looked like cotton candy, waiting to be eaten. A lone owl called in the distance, waiting for a reply. I thought that one would never come. In the stillness, I heard it. Far off and faint, but a reply that said 'I'm here, come to me. We don't have to be alone.' With only the sound of a moving branch, the owl took off to find the other. Stupid birds, making me tear up.

  "It is hard to be alone. Especially when we are in love." Kato spoke from beside me, the loneliness in his voice matching the call of the owl. I looked at him and I understood. He was in love with Malcolm. I gaped at him for a moment before composing myself. He turned to me and I saw the raw emotion in his whole body. The way he stood with his hands loose and shoulders slumped, his face so heartbroken it hurt me. I did the only thing I could think of doing. I hugged him. He tensed at first, then hesitantly put his hands on my shoulders. Before I knew it he was wrapped around me and shaking in silent tears. What in the world has this man gone through to make his heart hurt so bad? Then I thought about how Sean and I used to be, completely in love and totally devoted to each other. We weren't like that anymore; we barely spoke kindly to each other. I wanted so badly to love him but too much had happened.
I held Kato tighter as I mourned for lost love.

  After a few minutes he stood up, the tears still wet on his face. All he did was look at me and nod, but that's all that was needed. We heard a commotion coming from the direction of the bunker and I turned. Kato quickly wiped his face and turned to walk towards where the bear was.

  "We've been waiting on you to finish up. He looked like he needed that. Thank you." Said Malcolm when he got close enough. "He's been needing someone to lean on and I don't want to lead him on if I can help it. I mean, I like the guy, but I don't like the guy. Does that make sense?" He looked genuinely confused so I patted him on the arm and told him what I believed.

  "Sometimes people just need to vent. He's hurting. I think he's in love with someone he can never be with. It will kill him inside, a little more each day. Eventually though, he'll learn to live with it and let it go." That seemed to make sense to Malcolm as he just smiled and nodded. We started off towards the bear.

  With the meat, cut and stored in the bunker, we decided that fresh steaks were in order. It had been a hell of a day and all any of us really wanted to do was relax and unwind. Glancing in on the kids, they were both blissfully asleep which left me feeling very relieved. Back in the kitchen with the smell of cooking bear and mom's fresh bottle of whiskey, Steven rounded up some glasses and we cheered to each other coming together in this insane world.

  That night was as though we hadn't had encountered death, we sat laughing and talking. Steven brought out his music player and we danced and sang. For a while we were just people having fun and enjoying each other's company. We drank and ate and remembered that we were alive while everything else was uncertain. We remembered that no matter what else, we had each other. We remembered we were still human.

  Chapter 9

  The next day, we didn't do much of anything. We were all kind of hurting. Mom was the only one that didn't have at least a small hangover, and that meant she got to take care of the rest of us.

  "Damn big babies, you shouldn't have been up so late drinking and whatnot. Well at least you have a walking punishment!" She shouted the last words and we all cringed a bit. I decided to go up to B deck and call Sean.

  Quiet...dark...that's what I needed. The deck was silent except the sound of my breathing. I placed my head on the desk with the phone and would have fallen asleep, but it rang.

  "Ghuuuu! Why?" I asked the table. It gave me no answer. "Dumb table." I answered the phone. "Hello?"

  "Good morning. How are things going?" I told him about everything that happened yesterday. The bear, Kaylin, the three newcomers, Ragnar and Niobe. He was silent for a while, then he finally spoke.

  "So... these three saved your life and stitched up Lin. Are they staying in the group?"

  "Well I can't force them to but I think it would be wise. There are so few of us and our family can't do it all on our own. Besides, Ragnar has a thing for the chick and she likes him right back. I'm happy to see him have someone."

  "Look, just keep a knife on you. You know, you don't know these people and they may just want the bunker. Who's to say they won't slit your throat in the middle of the night?"

  "I know baby, I know." We discussed where we should meet and decided on the Cheyenne Mountain Complex, provided it wasn't already occupied by the government.

  "Alright Sean, we'll leave the first day of April. If we can make it there in the truck, it should only take a day, two at most. I'm going to go into town with Ragnar and Malcolm for a travel trailer. We have too many people to fit into the truck."

  "Just be safe Alex. I miss you, and I can't wait to see you and the kids again."

  We said our goodbyes and hung up. Just then, Steven comes banging into the room. Oooow! My head! Go away! I thought this to myself, knowing it would come out quite as pleasant if I were to speak.

  "We have a problem Alex. There's no more water." he said. His voice was tense. Ok, big breath in, big breath out. Stand up, come on, you're in charge. Gotta fix this.

  "Okay, then we are leaving today. Tell everyone to pack their belongings because we are outta here." I called Sean back and told him the change of plans then went off to help with the packing. This was going to be a long day.

  While most everyone else was packing the essentials, I sat at the table with Ragnar and Kato to discuss the plan. We were going to try and stay out of the more populated places but it was almost all going to be on the freeway, but going through major cities, things might get interesting.

  "Maybe instead of getting a trailer, we should get an R.V. What do you guys think?" Ragnar suggested.

  "Hey that's not a bad idea! It's bigger, more stable, we could all stay together instead of being divided. The kids would be more comfortable as well." Malcolm said. "We wouldn't have to do much reinforcing cause they're like tanks to begin with. Hell, we could even get a boat to tow!" The boys went off on the subject. The idea had merit, especially when it came to the kids. It would be better than being cooped up in car seats the whole time. That and naps would be easier.

  Leaving them discussing the pros and cons, I went to find the children. They were in the living room packing movies. Well, Kaylin was packing them and Kendrick was throwing them into the box. I picked up my little man and plopped on the couch. Lin snuggled up next to me and I held them both.

  "Mom, where are we going?" She asked me in her tiny voice.

  "We're going to go on an adventure sweetie. We're going to get a house on wheels and save daddy from the evil people! Graah!" I pretended like I was going to eat her and she screamed at the top if her lungs, jumping behind the couch. I thought she was playing until I heard her crying. I set Kenny down and peeked behind the couch. She shrank away, cowering.

  "No! Please mommy!! Please don't eat me!" She screamed, sobbing, rocking back and forth. I didn't know what to do. I tried to reach for her but she shrank back, not wanting me to touch her. My heart broke seeing her cower from me.

  "Lin, I'm not a zombie! I was just playing with you, trying to get you to laugh! Please, come here. I promise I won't eat you, I would have eaten your brother first." I tried to get her to smile, but she just looked at me with tear filled eyes.

  "You won't eat me?" She asked, her voice small and afraid.

  "I promise. Zombies can't talk, remember?" That seemed to hit a switch for her because all of a sudden she was flying from the behind the couch, tackling me to the floor.

  "Well I'm going to eat you!" She yelled, then started to licking my face. Kenny screamed and joined in, his little baby tongue stuck straight in my eye.

  "Oh no! Not a baby zombie! Someone help! I'm going to be licked to death!" Lin's little body was lifted off of me all of a sudden, making us both stop laughing. Kato had her by the back of her pants, holding her suspended in midair. He turned her so she was facing him. He had no expression as he brought her face close to his, after a tense few seconds, he did something I would have never expected: holding her face with his free hand, licked her from chin to forehead. Her face was in complete shock when he was done, she couldn't believe he had done that.

  "Ha! Now you are my little zombie!" He laughed, his face filling with a childlike joy.

  "Oh yea?" Said Lin. She grabbed his ears and tried to lick as much of his face as she could, which was quite a lot considering her size.

  "Gaaaa! No!" Kato clutched his face and pretended to die, gently lowering Lin to the floor. When he was a crumpled heap, Kenny toddled over to him and poked him in the eye.

  "Ow! That's not part of the game!" exclaimed Kato. The kids giggled and ran off, looking for some other trouble to cause. I looked at Kato from where I knelt on the floor. He was rubbing his eye and smiling to himself. He looked over to me and said,

  "You've got some really cute kids. Your little girl is a hoot." He stood up and offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me to my feet.

  "Well thank you." I said. Thi
s man was confusing.

  "We're all packed up and ready to go. We just have to work out the seating situation. We're going to start heading up to the welcome deck. See you up there?" Mom announced as she came into the living room from the kitchen.

  "Yea, we're right behind you." I said. She turned and headed to the elevator calling for the kids. I turned to Kato.

  "Are you guys going to be coming with us? I mean, you're more than welcome to stay here if you want." I hoped they were coming. It would make things so much easier having more hands around.

  "I would like to go with you. I believe the others would as well, but I will not speak for them. Let's join them and I will discuss it with my companions." He started to walk to the elevator. I grabbed the box of movies and followed.

  "I'm the largest person here so I have to sit in the front." I heard Ragnar say.

  "We could always put you in the bed. You would get to play with the big gun then."

  "Your idea has merit. Let's talk to Alex, we'll see what she says."

  Ragnar and Malcolm had been talking about the seating situation I assumed. Why did everyone need to talk to me? When did I become the leader? Everyone was standing around the truck in the midday sun. The kids were already in the truck, the windows open so we could hear them chattering. Ragnar and Niobe were standing next to each other, close enough to be holding hands if they weren't holding their weapons. Malcolm stood to Ragnar's right, Kato going to stand next to him. Mom was on the other side of Niobe, my brother and Liz to her right. Our little group had grown into a small village. They all looked to me for answers, though it seemed simple -- even obvious.

  "Okay, mom and Liz are going to ride in the cab with me and the kids. Ragnar, you man the machine gun, Kato and Malcolm, you guys take flank and keep us clear. Steve, you work on a portable solar station for those radios. Niobe, you take the tail. Everyone okay with that?" Everyone seemed agreeable, so we loaded up and headed down the mountain.