I'd Rather Not

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  He laughed then, pushing my head back by using his fingers on my jaw until I was looking up at him.

  “I never meant to hide anything from you,” he promised. “I’m not embarrassed by my body. I’m honestly pretty open with it. I’ve had to be. But I think what’s happening is that we’re getting all caught up in the moment, and I’m just taking the easy and lazy way out. Stripping off takes time, and honestly, you’re pretty fucking demanding. I don’t want to waste time doing the unnecessary…like taking off my pants.”

  I guess that did kind of make sense.

  When we went at it, we were kind of intense.

  “Come to the bedroom,” he said as he pulled me with him. “You can help me undress this time.”

  And boy, did I.

  By the time I had him naked, I found that he wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable with his body.

  His cock sat stiff and hard between the tangle of curls between his thighs. His abdominals distracted me for a few seconds as I cataloged a new bruise on his belly.

  I skimmed my fingers over it on my perusal of his body.

  “Was that from the bank today?” I asked, flicking my eyes up to him.

  He shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  I hummed as I allowed my eyes to wander back down his body.

  His thighs were muscular and defined, and he had cuts in the muscle that looked like he was sculpted instead of a real live human being.

  “I didn’t know that muscles had definition like this,” I found myself saying.

  “The doctor that helped me get back on my feet said that the stronger my legs were, the better and easier it would be to adapt to the prosthetics. I took that to heart and started working them out as hard as I could.” He paused. “In the beginning, I was pretty angry. I had a lot of extra time on my hands, so I worked on my body and tried to keep my nose clean.”

  I smoothed my hands up his thighs, then let my eyes skim over the rest of his legs.

  He’d removed the prosthetics for me. He’d said he wanted me to see all of him and had warned me that his legs from the knee down weren’t very pretty.

  And he was right.

  There was a lot of scarring, and when I say a lot, I meant a lot.

  It looked like Edward Scissorhands had come up to him and ran his scissor fingers all along his lower legs before finally snipping them off with a hacksaw from the knee down.

  “Does the scarring hurt?” I found myself asking.

  “No,” he said. “Not anymore, at least. Then? Fuck yeah, it hurt bad.”

  I could imagine.

  It looked like it hurt.

  “You can touch them,” he laughed, seeing my indecision. “I promise I’m not going to break.”

  With no hesitation, I did.

  I touched him, running my fingers over the smooth skin.

  “Does this hurt?” I said as I ran my fingers over his stump. “From walking on it all day?”

  “Not any more or less than your feet would after a long day at the office,” he answered.

  I hummed and moved so that I was positioned between his legs.

  He widened them to allow for more room, and grinned when I smoothed my hands up the length of his thighs.

  “Done inspecting?” he asked.

  My gaze settled on his cock.

  “Yeah,” I bit my lip. “I’m done.”

  His cock twitched at my attention, and I found myself grinning.

  “Good,” he said, reaching for his cock. “Because it’s torture to have you naked and running your hands along my body without returning the favor.”

  I watched him stroke his cock.

  He was much rougher with his penis than I would’ve been, and I found myself fascinated as I watched him. Watched his piercing glint in the light. His cock pulse with every beat of his heart.

  “How long does it take you to masturbate?” I found myself asking.

  He grinned. “I don’t know. Do I get to watch porn while I do it? Or am I doing it in a porta-John in the middle of a desert while three guys wait for me?”

  I bit my lip.

  “You’ve done that second thing?” I wondered.

  He grinned. “Yeah. Sure have. A lot. When you’re deployed, it’s not like you really have that much of a choice. When you’re horny, you take care of it. That’s just what you do.”

  I licked my lips.

  “Have you masturbated since we’ve met?” I wondered, pushing the limits of my control.

  “Yeah,” he admitted. “A lot. Until recently anyway. I haven’t touched myself since you’ve let me sink my cock inside of you.”

  “Then how long did it take you when you’d just met me?” I asked.

  “Two, three minutes.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I did it wanting to last. I did it because I was so fuckin’ hard that it hurt. I closed my eyes and thought about you. Your tits. Sinking my cock into your ass. Your pussy. It seriously didn’t take all that long.”

  I bit my lip. “Is that something that you want to do? My ass?”

  His eyes darkened then, and he squeezed the head of his cock and let out a low groan as he did.

  “Shit,” he laughed. “Warn me next time you’re going to ask something like that.”

  I grinned then.

  “You’re the one that brought it up,” I said pointedly.

  He let his cock go, and it smacked against his belly with a meaty thud.

  “I did, didn’t I?” he asked, holding out his hands for me.

  I crawled the rest of the way up his body, not stopping until I was straddling him, my pussy pressed up against the steel hard length of him.

  “There’s a condom in my nightstand drawer,” he said. “I stopped after leaving your place last night and picked some up.”

  I leaned over and opened his drawer, finding he’d not only stopped for condoms, but also lube as well.

  Feeling things inside of me tighten, I pulled both articles out of the otherwise empty drawer and threw it closed.

  Dropping the lube on the bed, I ripped into the box of condoms and pulled a string of them out, hastily tearing one off of the strip and tossing the rest onto the bed by the lube.

  Pace watched me with laughing eyes.

  “In a hurry?” he teased, bringing one hand up off my hip and dragging a blunt finger down over the peak of my distended nipple.

  My hips jerked, and I couldn’t help grinding myself down onto his cock.

  He was the one to growl this time.

  “Yes,” I admitted. “I’m in a hurry. All this talk about you and masturbating has me all hot and bothered.”

  I scooted back on his thighs and tucked my feet up close to his body as I took in his cock.

  “I’ve never done this before,” I said. “Tell me how to do it.”

  I mean, I had the gist of it. I’d also watched him do it.

  But now that I had the condom in my hand, I wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Open it,” he laughed.

  I did, tearing into it with my teeth and blowing the piece of foil out of my mouth when I was finished.

  “Take it out of the package,” he suggested next.

  I rolled my eyes but did as he said, tossing the condom wrapper onto the ground by the bed as I did.

  “Pinch the tip so my jizz has somewhere to go when I come,” he said, nodding when I did as he asked. “Now keep that pinched and press the condom to my cock head and roll it down. Good, exactly like that.”

  He sounded pained now, and I couldn’t help the smile that lit my face.

  When I finally got the condom smoothed down as far as it would go, he continued with the instructions.

  “Now crawl up my body and take hold of my cock,” he ordered.

  Deciding I kind of liked him giving me instructions, I did as asked and moved until the head of his cock was poised at my entrance.

  “Slowly sink down,” he growled out.r />
  I did, taking the head of his cock into my pussy with barely any resistance.

  His hands went to my hips, and he clamped onto them hard.

  Not enough to bruise, but enough to show me that he was clearly in charge even though I was on top.

  “Now come up and make sure you get it real slick, then sink back down some more,” he ordered.

  I did, moaning slightly when he began to reach the sensitive tissues deep inside of my vagina.

  He rocked me forward and backward while I left my hands on his chest and didn’t stop until I was completely filled with him.

  “Jesus, yes,” he growled. “You feel so fuckin’ good. One day I’m going to fuck you without this condom, and my life will be complete.”

  The thing was, he said it so seriously that I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

  I panted when I began to feel too full, pausing with his cock buried deep.

  “You feel big in this position,” I explained to him.

  He clenched his hands on my hips and pulled back out on his own this time, holding me still and coming back up to fill me once again.

  I stayed still like that and let him move, moaning each time he got just a little bit deeper.

  “Sometimes when I’m inside you,” he growled. “I feel like things can’t get any better than this. Then you say ‘I love you’ or tell me that you’re considering moving in with me, and I realize that things can be better. I just never got to look forward to the better before. Never got to experience better. But with you, each time it happens, I’m stunned all over again. Questioning how the hell I got to be so lucky. How the hell I got you. How the hell you’re so sweet.”

  I dropped down to give him a kiss, pressing my lips to his softly. Sweetly.

  “I can’t help the sweet,” I told him. “It’s just me.”

  I pulled away and became deliciously aware that the move forward had put me in a new position, one where my breasts were dragging along his chest. My nipples were rubbing against the smattering of chest hair that he had, and his cock was now so deep that I felt like he was in my womb.

  “I know it’s just you,” he said. “That’s what I’m trying to say. You are the common denominator here. You’re the reason I get up each day now.”

  My cheeks heated.

  “You were doing fine before you met me,” I pointed out.

  He paused with his cock fully buried inside of me, then pulled me down until he could suck on one of my nipples.

  “Exactly,” he said. “I was doing just fine. But now if you were to leave me? I’d know exactly what I was missing. I’d know that you were out there, without me, living life, and mine wouldn’t be the same.”

  Tears pricked my eyes.

  He was saying such beautiful words that I didn’t know how to handle it.

  “You’re crazy,” I told him. “I’m nothing special.”

  He swirled his tongue around the peak of my nipple and laughed. “You’re everything special.”

  After that, neither one of us talked much.

  He fucked me slow and hard, filling me up so full that there was room for nothing, not even air.

  I could feel my wetness staining my thighs, and there were wet sounds filling the air along with our panted breathing.

  His eyes either stayed locked on mine, where we were connected, or the way my breasts bounced and jiggled with each of his thrusts. Honestly, I wasn’t really sure how the hell I managed not to watch where we were combined.

  I spread my pussy lips and looked down the length of my body at him filling me, and my eyes were fascinated at how far I could stretch to accommodate him.

  Grinding my teeth, I circled my hips and felt my insides quiver.

  “Jesus Christ,” he hissed. “I’m not going to last much longer.”

  Since my hand was already spreading me wide so I could see, I moved one finger up and circled my clit, knowing that I wanted to come with him.

  He growled when I started touching myself, slightly speeding up his thrusts.

  I’d been so engrossed in the show that we were putting on, enjoying the hell out of how we felt together, that it took me a while to get there.

  But when I did, there was no doubt that it would be big.

  Everything, when it came to Pace Vineyard, was big. His heart. His cock. The orgasms that he gave.

  I groaned when I began teetering on the edge.

  Sensing my closeness, he pressed on my hips, signaling me to lean backward.

  I did, using my free hand to rest right above his knee.

  That was when I saw his phone out and it pointed straight at where we were connected.

  The way he had it angled, you wouldn’t be able to see my face. But he would be able to tell.

  I knew he wouldn’t share it with anyone, so knowing he just wanted to see it for his own personal use only turned me on more.

  I shattered.

  My orgasm shot through me, and my body clenched into one giant knot of muscles as it reigned supreme. All my other senses narrowed into one giant pulse of need.

  My nipples tingled. My asshole clenched. My vagina spasmed.

  Sparks shot out behind my closed eyelids, and a shout of release filled the air as I screamed.

  When I would’ve stopped rubbing my clit, he took over, helping me ride out my orgasm until the very last dregs were yanked from my soul.

  He grunted seconds after that, hands pausing as his orgasm took him over.

  I breathed out deeply at the sight.

  His face was a mask of tortured pleasure, and his teeth were clenched so tightly that his jaw had to have hurt.

  I heard the electronic beep of his phone as he turned off the recording, and I collapsed onto his chest in a boneless heap.

  He wrapped both of his arms around me and held me tight for a few long minutes.

  Long enough for his cock to begin to soften.

  “You have to get off,” he sighed sadly. “I don’t want to lose this condom inside of you.”

  Just the thought sent a thrill through me.

  Sadly, a baby wasn’t in our cards right now, no matter how much the idea of having one with my man turned me on.

  I had to wait at least a full year after my surgery before I would even consider it. I wanted everything as stable as could be before I started to knock my body out of whack all over again.

  Moving off of him and hating the way it felt to have him gone from between my legs, I rolled over to the side and buried my face into the pillow.

  He smoothed his hand up the length of my thigh, and I rolled until I was in the space he’d just vacated.

  That was when I felt the phone.

  My face flushed as I picked it up and brought it to face me.

  “What’s your phone passcode?” I called out.

  He shouted the code from the bathroom, and I inputted it before committing it to memory.

  I had a general idea what it was, but thought it was rude to ask for it.

  Now, though, I really felt that we’d crossed an invisible line. A line that was the difference between dating and serious.

  We were in the serious category.

  Especially since he wanted me to move in with him and take our commitment to the next level.

  “Does it look good?” he called from the doorway.

  My face flushed as I clicked on the pictures and found the video.

  My heart rate started to move faster as I clicked on the video and watched.

  The video was shaky as he held it aimed at my pussy, but the visual was so hot. I wished I had that view as I was riding him.

  “Jesus.” I fanned myself once it was over. “Now I want to do that all over again.”

  He picked up the phone and replayed the video.

  His half-hard cock stiffened to fully hard by thirty seconds in. By the end of it, he was rolling me onto all fours and reenacting the video. This time in a diffe
rent position so I could watch that one, too.

  When we were done, he didn’t ask me to move in with him again, but I knew that the offer still stood.

  He wanted me there, and I really wanted to take him up on his offer.

  Chapter 15

  My momma didn’t raise no bitch. And even if she did, it was my brother.

  -Text from Oakley to Pace

  Oakley

  I trudged up the steps to my doctor’s office and wondered whether Pace’s offer from the night before was one that I should take.

  Logically, I knew that it probably wasn’t something I should follow through with.

  We’d been dating for a little over two weeks. Officially, anyway. If you could call having sex with the man being what made the relationship official.

  I mean, other than him telling everyone that would listen how official we were, even my brother.

  Smiling at the receptionist as I checked in, I signed my name on the sheet and waved at the other receptionist.

  “Hello,” I smiled. “How are y’all doing?”

  “Great!” they chirped. The one closer to me said, “He’s just getting in. Go ahead and head back to the exam room. If you’ll give him about five minutes, I’m sure that he’ll be ready for you.”

  I nodded once and went to the exam room that I normally ended up taking when I was in the office. The one that I’d found out that my kidney was failing in, all the way to the one just two weeks ago that I found out that Pace’s kidney was thriving.

  It didn’t take long for the doctor to arrive, and he grinned at me upon entering the room.

  “Everything looks good, Oakley,” he said. “Your labs are great. I want to back off on the anti-rejection meds. But other than that, we’re totally rocking this.”

  I smiled at that, thankful for him and everything that he’d done for me.

  “Great news,” I smiled.

  “Any other questions or concerns, Oakley?” Dr. Page asked.

  I felt nerves take flight in my belly and decided to hell with it.

  “Birth control,” I said. “Can I safely take that with the anti-rejection meds?”

  Dr. Page had no smirk on his face, nor did he say a thing that was unprofessional.

  Instead, he took his glasses off and cleaned them on his coat pocket.

  “Yes,” he answered. “Very safe. Would you like to discuss prescriptions for them?”