by Ruby Forrest
Suddenly, the head of his cock was pushing into her and then Raelyn was gasping. She was glad to at least have the bed, tangling sheets in her hands while she shook. She was turned on again already and Blake was smoothing a hand along her spine, possessive as he slid in and out of her. It was almost unbearable; she could feel how tightly he fit inside of her, but she couldn’t feel what she wanted to. Raelyn tried reaching down with a shaking arm, Blake untied her swiftly, took her wrist and pushed her hand back onto the bed.
“Don’t touch yourself,” Blake said. His voice was rough, and Raelyn could feel the way he rolled his hips into her, pushed flush against her body.
Raelyn cursed, but she kept her hand on the bed. She was enjoying herself, even if it was torture to not be able to move. Raelyn tried fighting him, but her please were weak. “Please—Blake, please. Shit. I need you in me.”
“I am,” Blake said. He chuckled, and it sounded dark and low. Asshole, Raelyn thought, but she didn’t argue. He wasn’t hurting her, and she was pushing back into him with every thrust. It was just frustrating, and Raelyn wanted to turn him over and ride him until he was the one begging.
Blake was moving faster before Raelyn realized what was happening. She felt an edge of panic in her chest and she opened her mouth again, desperate. “Blake—don’t, I need you—”
She was too late. His climax was accompanied by a final push and Raelyn clenched around him, feeling every pulse. She wanted to curse him out for not listening, but he’d given her what she needed once, already.
Raelyn was shocked when Blake pulled out of her and turned her over. He looked down at her and it seemed like his pupils had swallowed all the color in his eyes. For a moment, she saw more of the panther that had been on the roof than the man she’d come to know. Blake pulled his condom off, messily tossing it away.
“Condom or no,” Blake asked, suspended above her. He was already pushing one of her legs up. Raelyn could barely come up with an answer. Again? She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had sex more than twice in a row, and it certainly hadn’t been as varied.
“No,” Raelyn finally managed to say. Blake was already hard again and Raelyn couldn’t understand it. He slid against her clit and after that, it didn’t matter to her anymore. All she knew was how he felt and how much she wanted him inside of her again.
Just like before, Raelyn’s hips moved upward on their own and Blake pushed her down with his hands. It was a game of waiting with him—she waited until it was unbearable and then he gave her what she wanted. When he finally thrust into her, a hot hand pressed onto one of her breasts, Raelyn couldn’t distinguish the pleasure from the pain.
There was a raw heat to everything; she was sensitive from being fingered but she was wet again. It was overwhelming, and Blake kept up a ruthless pace. Raelyn could only concentrate on him and the way his body was mesmerizing, like the black panther with rippling muscles she’d seen on the roof. Blake had the same lean lines to him when he fucked her, and Raelyn was bucking against him after only a few minutes. She lost track of how many times she asked him for more force and a faster pace.
Raelyn climaxed in a burst of white-hot heat and Blake didn’t even bother to hold her against the bed. Her back arched up far enough that she felt like she was floating. She was still shivering and weak when Blake started moving even faster; it was too much and then he came inside of her all at once, a different heat taking place of the pleasure Raelyn had felt.
When he moved away, a sheen of sweat lying over his muscles, Raelyn expected Blake to ask for more again. She considered saying something—I can’t go again, I just can’t—but Blake rolled off the bed. He stood as if he hadn’t lost any energy, finding his clothes on the floor and gathering them without another word.
“What—is that…normally how you do things?” Raelyn asked. She felt like she’d run a marathon. A good one, but too much for her. She was also uneasy about the way Blake was moving around the room, like he was about to leave.
“What? You knew what you were doing,” Blake pointed out. “That wasn’t your first time. Wouldn’t you have sex like this all the time, if you could?”
Not quite, Raelyn wanted to say, but she didn’t. Blake probably didn’t understand things like stamina or soreness, but Raelyn knew she’d be feeling the aftereffects of their night the next day. The next few hours, even. But how do I even tell him that?
Blake shrugged on his shirt. He was hungry, and he knew he’d have to make a stop at the office before coming back for the night. Raelyn wouldn’t like it, but it wasn’t like he had a choice. He’d given her a good time, anyway.
“I’m not used to it,” Raelyn admitted. Blake wasn’t surprised. He moved toward the door, but she kept talking. “You’re going to have to be patient. Not all of us are shifters. Our strength is different.”
Blake paused. He wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t think of that. He’d known Raelyn was willing to do plenty of things in the bedroom and he’d just assumed she would go along with everything. He’d known she would stop him if something hurt or something was wrong. Apparently, though, she was going to be uncomfortable and she wasn’t happy that he hadn’t thought of that.
“There’s a shower to the left,” Blake said. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but he didn’t know what that was. “Take your time. I have to go back to the office, but I’ll be back. I’ll bring food.”
Raelyn didn’t answer. Blake tried not to worry about it as he walked into the bathroom, quickly wiping off before changing. She would tell me if something was wrong, he told himself. Raelyn had known from the beginning what he wanted out of a relationship. It was all about the physical. He wasn’t looking for love. The sex had been great, and Raelyn had enjoyed it, so Blake didn’t think anything was wrong. There couldn’t be.
Blake left for the office, but he felt a creeping sense of unease. Something wasn’t right about the way she’d warned him. You’re being paranoid, Blake told himself, but he couldn’t help it. Raelyn wasn’t reacting the way he’d thought she would. He’d expected understanding and obedience. She knew what he was, and she’d seemed ready to follow his direction, before. What changed?
The longer she waited, the less enthusiastic she was. Raelyn had told herself that it was fine—that she didn’t care how flippant Blake was or how little she meant to him. Still, part of her was disappointed; part of her had hoped he’d somehow realize she was good for him, and that he could change the way he thought because she’d showed him how good it could be to have someone who cared.
You can’t change people, she told herself, throwing the sheets off her sore body and starting the shower. You know that. Raelyn showered and fixed the bed before Blake returned. When he finally did, he seemed unbothered by everything. He set a bag of takeout on the kitchen counter and Raelyn let him call her over from the living room. She felt like she was the only one feeling awkward as they ate.
In the middle of eating, Raelyn offhandedly said, “I’m not looking forward to this weekend. I’ll be busy all day tomorrow with two of my clients, and then Emily wants me to go out again.”
“Don’t,” Blake immediately said. He tensed in his chair. “You can work from here. Tell Emily you can’t.”
Raelyn froze with her fork halfway to her mouth. She felt an immediate rise of anger, but she tried to push it down. Talk to him, she told herself. Open your mouth and say something. “I’d rather work from home.”
Blake didn’t answer immediately. Raelyn could almost hear ticking in the back of her head, like a bomb waiting to go off. She was about to say something when Blake finally leaned back in his chair and started to talk again.
“Why? You can do it here. I’d appreciate you being here after work,” Blake added. “It’ll save time.”
Raelyn opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She knew what he was suggesting—that they’d do the same thing tomorrow night, or at least something similar. That he didn’t want to waste tim
e when he was planning to have sex again. Raelyn wanted to explain that she had a life away from him and she wasn’t going to be on call, but it was what she’d understood when he’d first given her the stupid paper with all its rules.
Whatever Raelyn was thinking, it didn’t matter. Blake abandoned his plate and ran a hand up her leg, his fingers brushing against the inside of her thigh. Even with the soreness starting to settle, Raelyn flushed with heat, a twinge of desire running through her body. It aggravated her, how much she forgot when he only touched her. She wanted him—even more now, since she knew how good he was in bed—but she didn’t want his attitude. Raelyn felt like an idiot for agreeing to be treated like a convenient fuck buddy, but she couldn’t walk away. Not yet.
Blake lay her back across the kitchen counter and when Raelyn was staring at the ceiling, too tired to try to lever herself up and see, he pulled her legs over his shoulders until she was wide open for him. He rubbed against her until she started trying to push into his touch, and then he pushed into her. Raelyn felt a faint throb with each thrust and she couldn’t tell if it was Blake or her own sore body protesting at being used so much.
When she came, Raelyn felt fire in her arms as she arched off the marble counter. Blake was slow to pull out of her, his hands pressing against her chest while he lazily thrust a few times as if making sure she was as sensitive as her moans seemed to say.
Blake barely bothered to throw the leftovers in the fridge. Raelyn listened to him shower and took up her side of the bed, trying to maneuver her body into a comfortable position. Is this stupid? She wanted to think it wasn’t, but she was starting to wonder. Sex with Blake was better than she’d had in a long time, and there was no chance of breaking her heart when he’d never had it in the first place. It was the perfect relationship; sex and no expectations. But Raelyn still didn’t feel quite right when she fell asleep, wondering what would happen the next day when she was even worse for wear. Can I handle being with him? Is this the reason why he doesn’t keep partners for long, she wondered, or is this what he’s really like, when he’s not trying to hide? Both answers were bad.
Raelyn closed her eyes and told herself it was stupid to waste sleep worrying. They’d only been together for two days. She just had to wait, and maybe things would get better.
Chapter Twelve
It was strange, spending the entire day just waiting to go home—but Blake lost the charm in the middle of the day, when he was sitting at his desk and staring at a stack of papers.
What did I do? The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. It was like the logical side of his brain and the human lurking in the shadows had come front and center, pushing his shifter thoughts out of the way. He wasn’t looking at it as a shifter; he was looking at it as Blake. The startling clarity hit him like a bucket of icy water and he gripped the edge of his desk with white knuckles.
Blake was realizing after the fact how vulnerable he’d made himself. He’d given in and contacted Raelyn barely one day after dinner and their first time having sex. Not only that, but he’d managed to have her four times. Four in one night, and he’d brought dinner and told her to stay at the apartment.
“Shit,” Blake cursed, resisting the urge to slam his pen into the desk beneath his hand.
“I take it last night went well,” Aaron said conversationally. Blake glared, watching his brother enter the office with a thin folder. “Have you come around yet, or have I interrupted your mourning stage?”
“Shut up and leave the paperwork.”
“Angry, then.”
Blake glared, trying to pour every ounce of threat into his expression as possible. He was too close to his anger; he could feel his nails digging into the table, wavering close to shifting. Aaron held up his hands in mock defeat. “I’m only here to help.”
“You’re here to be aggravating,” Blake corrected. “You’re as bad as her, but at least I can get your smell out.”
“Smell,” Aaron repeated, his eyes narrowing. “Is that what this is?”
Blake felt his heart drop. He knows. Aaron had figured something out or learned something before Blake. While the realization stung, it was also compelling. He could help, Blake thought, if he doesn’t decide to screw around with me. Blake tried to keep his features even when he spoke.
“Of course. I can’t ignore it. It’s the only reason I kept her around in the first place. She doesn’t even match it,” Blake said, but he knew it was a lie.
Raelyn had proved herself over a hundred times. She’d been ready to throw in with him, even after seeing him shift. She’d approached their relationship without any reservations and she was surprisingly willing to do whatever Blake wanted. Raelyn was perfect for him, but she couldn’t be. No one can. Blake had learned the hard way with his ex.
He’d trusted his ex to keep her mouth shut. He’d trusted her to talk to him first, but she’d gone to Aaron—thinking he didn’t know—and said something offhanded, one evening when she was angry at Blake. Aaron had tipped his brother off and Blake had been glad that she was an employee. She’d been transferred on short notice and Blake had stayed out of the office during the transition. His ex was in another state now, and Blake hated thinking about her. He hated thinking that he’d let someone close enough to know the truth, and she’d thrown it back in his face because she’d secretly thought he was some sort of monster.
“You know, smells are like tastes. They’re very particular to a person.”
“I know,” Blake said, tapping his pen on the desk.
Aaron shrugged. “If it’s that strong for you, maybe you should consider what it means. Maybe it’s more than just a smell. Maybe it’s a sign.”
Of what, Blake wanted to ask, but he already knew. He’d known for a while. Raelyn’s scent called out to him in a way that declared her as a mate. She had some mix of things that was undeniable, especially in the way it seemed to bring out the shift in him without making him completely change. When Blake was with her, he felt more whole and balanced than he’d ever felt before. He wasn’t constantly trying to keep a barrier inside of himself when he was with Raelyn; not even when they were having sex. She brought out the shifter in him without calling it out completely, and it left him feeling comfortable and relaxed for not having to fight both sides of himself into submission and agreement.
Raelyn was supposedly perfect, but it couldn’t be true. Blake wasn’t going to risk everything on her. She’ll go, and I’ll be fine, he told himself, ignoring his brother as Aaron left. And when I’m fine, I’ll look back on this as a stupid mistake that wasn’t worth the risk.
“Really? How’s that working out?” Lucy asked. Raelyn sighed and lifted her shoulder to cradle the phone by her ear, typing as well as she could while sitting on Blake’s sofa.
“Well.”
“That’s not convincing, Rae.”
Raelyn fought the urge to sigh, trying to keep the phone in place. “Well, it’s different. I’m not used to the way he thinks about things. I’m pretty much here as a glorified vibrator.”
“Wouldn’t it be a glorified—”
“You know what I mean,” Raelyn said, cutting her sister off and rolling her eyes. “It’s just that I wasn’t going to care, but I do, you know? I wanted to change his mind.”
“Oh, honey,” Lucy sighed. Raelyn felt like she was in an alternate universe, where Lucy was the responsible one and Raelyn was the one chasing different men around the globe every week. “You went and fell for the stripper.”
Raelyn thought about her sister’s words well after the conversation ended. She was wrapping up work and thinking about them. Is she right? Raelyn hadn’t thought she was that stupid. She’d assumed her mistake with Blake had been in not asking enough of him and simply rolling over. Raelyn put up with more from Blake than she’d ever allow with anyone else. She had told herself it was out of pity for his secret and the way he’d been hurt before, but that excuse was thin. Raelyn didn’t make excuses for
people.
So, if she wasn’t making excuses, she was trying to come up with reasons to justify sticking around. I want to be here, Raelyn thought, and I feel guilty about it. She thought Blake was beyond hot, she loved the sex, and there were no strings attached. Raelyn enjoyed what they had, but she couldn’t let herself enjoy it because she knew how things would end. She cared too much about Blake—about his past and his future and whether he could really open up to someone—and it was starting to get to her. He didn’t ask you to care, she reminded herself, but it fell flat.
Raelyn was still trying to make sense of her feelings when Blake returned. He threw his jacket on the couch and gave Raelyn a long look, his head tilted. “It’s been a long day.”
“Has it?” Raelyn wasn’t sure what to say. Her heart was pounding just from the look in his eyes. She’d forgotten how they could get, with an almost neon glow that betrayed the shifter in him.
“There’s a hot tub in the back. Get in—no clothes.”
Blake walked to the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt. Raelyn didn’t bother answering. She walked toward the back door, curious, and found a covered awning. The hot tub rested inside a glass-walled backyard and there was a pathway toward the trees spilling out from the forest at the edge of the property. Raelyn slid into the water, adjusting to the heat, and then she saw Blake.
The sight of the black panther made her heart skip a beat. She should have been scared, but she was too fascinated to worry. Blake followed the path out and Raelyn felt her mouth drop open, a surprised warning on her tongue until she saw him disappear into the trees. He disappeared like smoke and she waited, letting the hot water relax her muscles. Was that his plan, she wondered, to soften me up in here?
Blake came back after some time, muscle rolling as he shifted. Raelyn tried not to stare, but she knew she was failing. Blake was naked when he approached her; his arms showed no sign of strain when he lowered himself into the tub, his eyes still holding something wild and dark in them.