Kit left the dressing room with Madame Zoe. They parted ways when they entered the main part of the barn. Kit noticed Nate still in the middle of a square dance with Beth. Then she saw Steven at the back of the stage with his dad. With the last day’s hectic schedule, she hadn’t had a chance to compliment Steven on how well everything with the scenery had turned out.
She mounted the stairs to the raised platform and skirted Bud at the front making the square dancing calls. All the dinner tables had been moved to the side so there was room in the middle of the barn for the people who wanted to participate in the dances.
“Hello, Steven, Mr. Case.”
The older man smiled over his shoulder as she approached. “Daniel, please.”
“I came over to tell you, Steven, what a talent you have for painting.” Her arms rigid at her sides, Kit prepared herself for Daniel’s disapproval. “I felt like we stepped back in time to when Oklahoma was becoming a state. You captured the prairie and farm perfectly. You’ve made a good choice taking art classes next year.”
“Dad just said the same thing.”
Kit swung her attention to Steven’s father. “You see why we were so happy he volunteered to do the scenery.”
“Yes. I’m proud of what he did here. I still hope Steven will play some kind of team sport, though.”
“Dad and I are talking about being in a father-son softball league next summer.”
Daniel clasped his son around the shoulders. “It’s for fun, but it will be nice to do it together.”
Steven beamed, especially when a woman joined them, studying the backdrop.
“Who painted this?”
“I did, Mrs. Adams.”
“Have you taken any art classes?”
Steven shook his head.
“You have a lot of potential. I hope to see you in one of my classes in the fall.”
“You will—I signed up for one.”
The woman’s face brightened. “I’m glad. The students I think have potential I push to do even better. I hope you’re ready for that.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Kit left the three talking on stage and scanned the area around her. She needed to sit. All of a sudden, what adrenaline had gotten her through her solo had evaporated, leaving behind exhaustion. She made her way through the crowd watching the dancers in the center, and escaped outside. The cool breeze caressed her skin but didn’t revive her. She started for her cabin.
“Kit, wait up,” Nate shouted behind her.
Rotating toward him, she watched him through half-lowered eyelids, her limbs feeling as if they weighed twice their weight. “Only if you promise to see me home and then leave. I need to crash. I think the last few weeks are catching up with me, all in the last five minutes.”
Nate looped his arm around her waist and pressed her against him, then strolled toward the cabin. As they walked, he commented on the cars parked in every place possible. “We had to have at least three hundred people here, especially earlier with the light supper and production.”
“I’m glad.” The reply barely formed on her tongue. Kit rested her head against him, feeling as though she were sleepwalking. She heard Nate talking about the night but the meaning of the words barely registered.
Nate held Kit upright, bearing most of her weight as he neared her house. She’d been pushing herself for the past week, sleeping little and doing more physical work than usual. She had to be worn out. On the porch, he started to open her door but decided to sit with her on the porch swing. Usually Kit could rest, then pick up where she left off.
He cuddled her against him. “Relax. You’ve been doing a lot. Rest for a little bit. Then I’ll make sure you get inside.”
She went slack next to him. The light from her living room cast a soft glow that illuminated her face. Her eyes closed, she appeared to be asleep. He could sit here and let her sleep for a while, but she’d be more comfortable sleeping in bed. Besides, he needed to get back to the barn. He was on the cleanup crew.
He cradled her across him and surged to his feet. When he walked to the front door with her in his arms, he fumbled for the handle and pushed into the cabin. Lexie greeted them with her happy bark. He looked at the couch and decided to take her to her bedroom.
In it, he gently placed her on the bed, then pulled a folded blanket off a chair and spread it over her. He stared at her for a long moment, her beautiful features arranged in a serene expression. Leaning over her, he kissed her cheek, then left the cabin.
Out on the porch, as car after car streamed away from the barn, a troubled thought kept pecking at his composure. From Beth he knew Kit’s old boss had come all the way from New York to see her today and was at the production tonight. Why? Why didn’t she say anything to him? Was her old boss asking her to return to New York? And now that the fund-raiser was over...would she go?
Chapter Thirteen
Kit paced her dance studio, restlessness driving her from one end to the other. She’d told Gordon she would give him her answer by tomorrow. At church this morning, she’d finally asked God to help her. She still didn’t know what to do. Always before, she’d been certain in her decisions, even when she decided to break up with Nate years ago. Her life had revolved around her ballet and she’d made whatever choice would help her in her career. Now that that wasn’t a factor, it wasn’t as clear how she should decide.
Chewing on her thumbnail, she came to a stop in front of the mirrored wall. Was she ready physically to dive back into a full-time job choreographing for her old ballet company? Could she be satisfied watching others take her creations and dance them? Instantly she recalled the moment last night when she observed Anna performing her solo. The sense of satisfaction of a job well done had blanketed Kit then, giving her the courage to go through with her final performance at the end.
Lowering her hand to her side, she stared at herself in the mirror. She felt so much stronger than she had been when she’d arrived seven weeks before. She knew what she needed to do.
Quickly she changed into her riding clothes and headed for the barn. Bud went out into the paddock and brought Cinnamon to her. After saddling and mounting her mare, she rode toward the ridge. She hadn’t made it to the top by herself yet, but the last time she’d been with Nate they had gone most of the way. It was time to see if she could make it. It had become a personal test to show if she was ready to move on and start a new life.
At the bottom of the hill, she tipped her head back and peered up at the top. I can do this by myself. Before she was injured, she’d been able to scale the rise because she had been in top physical shape. She wasn’t in the same condition now, but she was still strong and active. There were amputees who climbed mountains. They hadn’t let their loss stop them from doing what they enjoyed.
She inhaled a composing breath and started. I can do this with Your help, Lord. Anything is possible through You. She kept repeating that as she ascended the mount.
Half an hour later, with only one slip, she reached the top, dragging herself over the ledge to stand on the ridge and stare down at the ranch.
“I made it,” she shouted to the world, realizing as she scrambled up the hill that she had focused on the Lord, imagining Him with her each step. She hadn’t been alone, but she had made it by herself.
She sank to the ground, drawing deep inhalations to fill her lungs. Swiping her hand across her sweat-coated forehead, she smiled as if she’d scaled Mount Everest. She’d challenged herself and won. She knew what she needed to do.
* * *
Nate parked near Kit’s cabin and rapped on the door. No answer. Maybe she was up at the main house. He headed that way but decided to stop and see if she went riding. The day was perfect for it with a mild temperature and a light breeze. For Oklahoma June had been surprisingly pleasant. He wouldn’t mind rid
ing himself.
Nate saw Bud in the tack room and asked, “Have you seen Kit?”
“Yep, about half an hour ago.”
“Which way did she go?”
“Toward the ridge.”
Suddenly he knew what Kit was doing. He shouldn’t be surprised because she always worked hard to accomplish what she had set out to do and climbing the ridge had become a challenge to her. But she’d agreed she shouldn’t go to the top alone. What if she was at the bottom trying to decide what to do?
“Bud, can I saddle up Dynamite and take him to meet Kit?”
“Sure. I’m glad you’re checking on her, but I knew it was useless to say anything to her. Strong-minded is a good description of Kit.”
“As I well know.”
Within ten minutes Nate rode toward the ridge, and when he arrived, he looked up to see Kit waving down at him from the top. Relief cooled some of his anger that she’d gone up by herself and hadn’t called him to join her for the climb.
He started up the rocky incline. When he reached the top and hoisted himself over the ledge, he glared at Kit who sat on a stone smugly waiting for him. “What happened to the promise you made me? You said you wouldn’t come up here alone.” Nate hovered over her.
She craned her neck and regarded him with an expression of satisfaction. “I wasn’t alone. God was with me the whole way, and I made it. I slipped once but didn’t go down. I caught myself.”
“What if you hadn’t?” he asked, his irritation slowly defusing. How could he be mad or argue with her when she pointed out the Lord was beside her?
“That’s not important because it didn’t happen.”
Then Nate realized why he was upset with her even though she was safe. He’d wanted to be the one with her as she climbed the ridge. She had almost made it the last time she’d tried. He’d wanted to see the triumph on her face when she finally reached the top. Any hint of anger left drained completely from him, and he settled in next to her.
“I hate your logic,” he grumbled.
She shrugged. “You were busy. I didn’t want to wait. But I’m okay. Actually more than okay. I’ve come to a decision about my future. At least my immediate future.”
The way she said it, he was sure that he wasn’t going to like what she had decided. It probably had to do with Gordon Simms’s visit. Dread solidified his gut. He placed his palms on the ground behind him and leaned back. “What are your plans?”
“Gordon Simms, who is the head of the New York ballet company I danced with, came to visit me yesterday morning. He had a proposition for me.”
She paused as though to gather her thoughts on what to tell him. Nate’s lungs burned, and he realized he’d been holding his breath waiting for her to break the news.
She twisted to look at him. “He wants me to help with the ballet company and choreograph a dance for him for the fall. I’ve been thinking how much I’d love to do one that interested both adults and children like the Nutcracker does at Christmas. That’s what I loved about Wonderland. I’ve been thinking of coming up with one based on Mother Goose’s nursery rhymes or the Grimm brothers’ fairy tales. Create a world from various ones and tell a fun story that all people can relate to.”
Excitement flushed her cheeks a rosy shade. As she talked about what she would do, he felt her slipping away from him again. “So what are you going to do?”
“I need to go back to New York. I have unfinished business there and want to see it through to the end.” She gave him a grateful smile. “When I came to the ranch, I really had nowhere else to go to heal. It wasn’t happening in New York. But now I feel so much more hopeful for the future, thanks to you and my family.”
Nate was whisked back eight years ago when she had broken up with him and told him she wanted him to find someone who would make him happy. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to say that she was the one who made him happy, not when he knew she’d pick her ballet dreams over him. He had let Kit go without a fight. And he needed to do that again. She’d never belonged to him or his world. Finally he realized that.
She searched his expression, reaching out and touching his face, but he flinched and pulled back even further. “I’ve let you down again. I didn’t mean to, but if I don’t do this, I’ll always wonder what I was capable of doing. These past weeks here I’ve loved working with the students and making up dances for them.”
“Then stay and do that,” he said and wanted to snatch those words back. He would not beg her to remain. It wouldn’t work if he did. Why had he fallen for her all over again? He should have known this was how things would end.
“And do what? Teach a couple of classes a week? I need more. I’ve worked for years, long hours. I can’t just stop all of a sudden and be content.”
“I never said not to work, but to do it here. Work with Madame Zoe or by yourself. You can still be part of the dance world. When you first came here, I was one of the people who tried to convince you that you could be involved with ballet.”
“I know, but I feel like I was a quitter. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself I didn’t look at the options I might have in New York. And, anyway, I have to go back in July because of my apartment. The person subletting is leaving. I’ll have to make a decision then. I’m going to tell Gordon what I plan and leave not long after the Fourth of July. I’m choreographing a few dances for the performance at the end of the Summer Dance Academy. I should have them complete by then for Madame Zoe.”
“What about Lexie?”
“I’m taking her with me. My neighbors have a dog, so I know my apartment building allows them. She’s been there for me when I’m down and sad. I couldn’t leave her behind.”
And yet you can me. Nate rose. “Are you ready to go back?”
“No, I’m going to stay for a while.”
“Then I’ll stay, too.”
She slanted a look at him. “Go back. I’m fine. You don’t have to protect me.”
He ground his teeth together.
“Please.”
“Fine. I’ll leave you alone.”
Nate began his descent, having no intention of riding back to the barn. He would wait below until she came down. He would never be able to forgive himself if he left, and she hurt herself descending, which was more difficult than going up to the top.
Although Kit wasn’t positive what she would do in the long run, taking Lexie with her told him her answer. New York was her home. She wouldn’t be returning again. He should have known better than to trust her with his heart. Ballet would always come first in Kit’s life, and he wasn’t going to fight that fact anymore.
* * *
Carrie plopped down on Kit’s couch and crossed her arms, a pout on her face. “You can’t leave. I want you to keep teaching me. So do the other girls.” She scooped up Lexie and began to stroke her over and over. “If you go, that means I’ll have to go back to Madame Zoe’s.”
Beth came into the living room from the back of the cabin, pulling two of Kit’s big suitcases. “No, you don’t. I’ll find another teacher who teaches like your aunt does.”
Carrie glared narrow-eyed at Kit as she made her way to Lexie with the dog carrier. “I want her to stay here. I don’t want to lose Lexie, too.”
Beth snorted. “Quit being dramatic.”
“Sorry, Carrie. Lexie is coming with me. Your mom said something about getting you a dog from Nate. They have strays dropped at the animal hospital from time to time.”
“Is Nate driving you to the airport?” the girl asked, kissing Lexie goodbye.
“No, your dad is.” Except across the church, she hadn’t seen Nate since the day she told him about returning to New York. “Do you want to come, too?”
Carrie lifted her chin and looked away. “No. I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Carrie, that’s enough. Your aunt has to do what’s best for her.”
“Why? She comes here and shows me how much fun dance can be and then leaves.”
“I thought you loved ballet.” Kit zipped up the dog carrier.
“I wanted to be like you but...” Carrie flounced to her feet and stomped toward the door. “It doesn’t make any difference what I like or think.”
When the child left, Kit started to go after her.
“Leave her be. She’ll get over her anger. Just give her time.”
Kit rotated toward Beth. “I hear disappointment in your voice. With me or Carrie?”
“Both.” Beth went back to the bedroom and brought the third piece of luggage out.
“Don’t make me feel any worse than I do.”
“Then don’t go. It must mean something if you feel bad about leaving.”
“I have to do this.”
“Why?” Beth folded her arms over her chest, much like her daughter had earlier.
“If I don’t, I’ll always wonder if I could have made it if I’d been willing to try. I can’t move on without knowing that answer.” Needing to leave and not wanting to have this conversation with Beth, Kit moved toward the door.
“Do you love Nate?”
Beth’s question halted Kit’s progress. All night that was all she thought about. Yes, she loved him, had never really stopped loving him. But was it enough? She was scared. Dance was all she’d known for so long—she knew what was expected of her in ballet. If she stayed, she didn’t know what to expect. She didn’t like change and the chance to work with the ballet company and choreograph would be the closest work she could have to her former life.
“Sometimes a person has to consider more than love,” she finally answered her sister-in-law.
“God gave us the ability to love because it’s so important to have. It’s what makes life worth living. I know you loved what you were doing, but there’s more to life than work. Don’t lose yourself in it and forget what’s really important. We’re here for you if you need us.”
Her Hometown Hero Page 17