by MK Harkins
Martin answered, “Everything looks great. Thank you so much for this opportunity. The auction was a great idea.” He turned to Todd. “You’ve done a fantastic job organizing all the donations for the auction. It looks like we’ll be able to stay in business for many years.” He turned his smile toward me.
“I’m happy to do it.” I made a decision. “I’d like to make a request.”
“Sure,” they said in unison. We all laughed.
“I think it would be a good idea to have Jain give the opening presentation. She’s so passionate about your company and the progress you’re making. I think people will respond to that. I believe we’ll have a much more profitable night if she represents you.” I hoped I sounded convincing. I needed to see her with my own eyes to make sure she was doing all right. Giving her an assignment was the only way to guarantee it.
Colin grinned slightly. “She doesn’t like the limelight. We’ll have to ask her.”
I had to ask, “How is she doing?” I looked out the window briefly. If he saw my eyes, it would be a dead giveaway.
“She’s okay.” Colin gave the short, generic answer.
I studied him carefully. “That’s all you’re going to give me?” I tried to smile, but it may have looked more like I was baring my teeth.
“New Year’s Day wasn’t a good day.” He stared at me, not with contempt, but with respect. “I take it you did it for Jain?”
I gave a noncommittal shrug. “I thought we both needed to move on. So, that’s what I’m doing.” I communicated with my eyes that I was lying. Colin either didn’t notice, or he wasn’t happy about it.
“She’s going on a date tonight, so you don’t have to worry about her ability to move on,” he said bluntly.
I immediately broke out in a sweat, and my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest. I kept my face impassive, unsure if they’d noticed my physical response.
“Anyone I know?” I couldn’t help it. I wanted—no, I needed to know.
“I don’t think you’d approve.” He winced.
“Not that doctor. Was his name Hooper, Harper, Hartnett?” I’d blocked him from my brain.
“Choice number two, Dr. Erik Harper. He’s taking her to the Space Needle. She’s lived in the Seattle area her entire life, but has never been. Isn’t that unbelievable?”
All I could get out was, “Yes, it’s unbelievable.” This unselfish act I’d been trying to do was for the birds. I was convinced she was better off miserable than with that jerk. Why did I hate him so much? Could it be he really was a nice guy, and I’d judged him too soon? Why did it still hurt so much? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about her, dreaming about her? I wanted her to move on and start carving a life out for herself. I wanted her to live and laugh again. If this jerk could do it for her, why did I want to hurt him, especially if he touched her? My body seized up when I thought of her kissing someone else. Those lips are mine.
Todd adjourned the meeting. We’d accomplished what we needed to do. The event would be held at the newly-remodeled Paramount Hotel in three weeks. Everything was in place; all we had to do was sit back and wait for the day to arrive. That would be easier said than done.
After they left, I picked up my phone and dialed Tiffany. She answered on the first ring.
“Hey, Braydon.”
“I have two favors to ask. They both involve fake dates. Are you good with that?”
Tiffany and I had spent the past three weeks getting to know each other, mostly through text messages and phone calls. She was beyond thrilled about all the attention she’d received after our New Year’s Eve date. She was right when she determined she’d be very popular with both men and woman afterwards.
All except for Angela. She and Tiffany had a few words about it. She told Angela I was the best she’d ever had. It made me laugh when she told me about Angela’s reaction.
She replied, “I didn’t have to lie. You were the best gentleman I’ve ever dated.”
Tiffany and I had developed a close friendship. I could talk to her about anything.
“The first date is tonight. The second is on Valentine’s Day. I want to take you to the fundraiser for Bastion Medical at the Paramount Hotel.”
“I have nothing better to do. I don’t think I’ll get a boyfriend in the next three weeks, so it’ll be nice not spending Valentine’s Day alone.” She hesitated. “What about Jain? Won’t it make it worse for her if I’m in the same room?”
“Colin told me she’s moving on. She’s going on a date tonight, and she’ll be at the event with the same guy. I’ll need you there to make sure I don’t punch him – or do anything worse.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Her date is tonight?”
“So?”
“We’re stalking Jain on her date?” she asked.
“Not stalking. Observing. The guy she’s going out with is the same guy who almost attacked her in one of the lab rooms. I was a witness to it, and he practically mauled her.”
She laughed. “Were you stalking her on that occasion, too?”
“No! I was taking a tour of the research facility.”
“Braydon?”
“Yes?”
“How long have you been obsessed with Jain? Give it to me straight.”
“Since the day I laid eyes on her.”
FORTY
Jain
“You’re going,” Colin insisted.
“I don’t want to.” I crossed my arms and shook my head.
He threw his hands up. “You’re acting like a child.” Colin took me by the shoulders. “You have to do this. Remember we talked about moving on? You need to take the first step. You’ve already told Erik you’re only interested in friendship, so why are you trying to get out of your date?”
“I don’t think I’m ready for even a casual friendship. I’m worried he’ll say something that reminds me of him, and I’ll make a fool out of myself.” The panic I’d felt all day continued to rise.
“Those two men are complete opposites. Trust me, he won’t say or do anything to remind you of he-who-shall-not-be-named,” he joked. He thought that would make me feel better. It didn’t.
“I know.” And I burst into tears.
“Ah, Jain. I didn’t mean anything by it. You can’t sit around thinking about him all the time. It isn’t healthy. This date will be a good distraction for you. Think of it as practice. You’ll meet someone else one day. I don’t want you to be stuck hoping and wishing for him.”
“I’m not. But, Colin? Why do you think he didn’t fight for me longer? I know I told him to go away, but I didn’t think he’d be able to move on with his life so quickly.”
Colin took a deep breath, now serious. “I think he sensed he’d gone too far and you’d never trust him again. He knew he blew it – big time. It’s healthy, what he’s doing by going on dates. That’s why I want you to do the same.”
“Do you think he loves her? You saw him today; did he seem happy?” I held my breath, waiting for his answer.
“I can’t say. People put on their masks for the world. I don’t know him well enough to tell what he was feeling.” He fiddled with the button on his shirt.
“You’re right. I do need to join the land of the living. Erik has been respectful and hasn’t repeated anything inappropriate. I’m excited to go up in the Space Needle for the first time.”
“That’s my girl.” He held up his hand for a high-five. I slapped it, gave him a little bump with my hip, and went back to my condo to get ready. I could do this.
***
Three hours later, I was comfortably seated in the small Space Needle restaurant. I loved it, being up so high, looking down at the twinkling city lights. It was January, and the city had kept all the glittery Christmas lights up. It was beautiful.
“Thanks for bringing me here, Erik. I appreciate it. I know I haven’t been much fun around the lab lately, so this was a pleasant surprise.” I was shocked when he asked me.
“I know what you’
re going through. I haven’t told anyone this, but the reason I came to work for Bastion Medical was because of a woman. I had to get away.”
“Did she…” I glanced down at the tablecloth. “Did she crush your heart, put it through a grinder then step on it?” I asked.
He laughed heartily. “Yes, something like that.”
I smiled at him. “Well, we have something in common then.”
“You know, Jain, we have much more than that in common. We both love science, we’re both doctors, we’re working toward the same goal…and we’re both incredibly good looking.”
I giggled but stopped short. I checked his face to see if he was kidding, and he stared back at me, expressionless.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at that last part. Of course, you’re good looking, um…it was my part I was laughing about.”
He bent over the table, laughing harder than I’d ever seen him. “I was joking. I wanted to make you laugh, and it looks like it worked.”
It did work. In fact, we were laughing so hard, when the waitress came to take our order, we couldn’t talk. She was very nice about it and offered to return.
“For a second, I thought you were serious. I was trying to figure out how to respond,” I said through my giggles.
“It’s good to see you laugh. It took me months after my breakup to even smile. It does get better. It’ll take some time though.” His words were comforting.
“Can you tell me how long? I need to put on my calendar ‘Jain stops being an idiot.’”
“You’re not an idiot, Jain. If anything, it shows what a loving and caring person you are. You can’t turn off your feelings with a light switch. There will probably always be a part of you that’ll love him.”
I groaned. “No, don’t say that. It’s the only thing getting me through this – that one day, I’ll be able to think about him and not want to cry, or curl up in a ball and shut out the world.”
“You’re still in the grieving process. For me, it took six months.”
“Six months! That means I’ll keep feeling like this for…” I did the math in my head. “Three months, three weeks, and four days?”
“Everyone has their own timeline.” He stared down at his empty hands.
“You aren’t completely over her, are you?” I asked.
“There’s a part of me that wished I did more. I should have fought for her. My pride got in the way, and I waited too long. She’s married now, and pregnant.”
“I’m sorry, Erik. It’s always hard when you have regrets. The ‘what ifs’ can be brutal.”
“Yeah, I also believe things happen for a reason. She wasn’t the one for me. When you get past this and find someone else, I’m sure you’ll feel the same.” He seemed so sure.
“How can you be so sure?”
“I can be your example. If I can do it, anyone can. Believe me.” He pointed to himself. “This is the guy who was so heartbroken he had to move to the other side of the country to get away from the memories. Everywhere I looked, I was reminded of her. Restaurants, coffee shops, parks, you name it.”
My heart went out to him. That was what I was doing. Even news shows weren’t safe. I’d see an east coast city that was snowed in, and it’d bring me right back to Braydon’s log home. I could still picture it vividly, Braydon and I snuggled on his sofa, watching the soft, feathery snowflakes fall.
“Yeah, I’m still stuck in that phase.” I smiled. “This night’s been good for me. Thank you for inviting me.”
He reached over and took my hand. I didn’t pull away. “I don’t know where this will lead us, if we’re meant to be friends or more to each other. I care about you, Jain. You’re an intelligent, smart, and kind-hearted woman. I’m glad to be in your life, as a co-worker, friend, or whatever.” He kept his eyes directly on mine. “However this pans out, I’m happy just to know you.”
That was such a sweet thing for him to say. I felt a little pang. What was it? Affection? I wasn’t sure, because it disappeared before I was able to comprehend it. Maybe that’s how this whole grieving thing went. I’d get my positive emotions back a teeny bit at a time. I felt, for the first time, a glimmer of hope. I wondered if that meant I was progressing. I wasn’t happy about it, because that meant Braydon was becoming a memory.
We walked out of the restaurant and headed for the observation deck. The views were spectacular. I could see Lake Union, Puget Sound, Lake Washington, the Olympic Mountains, and all the surrounding neighborhoods and cities.
Erik put his arm around me to keep me warm. “Seattle is a beautiful city. I’m glad I moved here.” He turned to me and teased, “You lived here your entire life without coming to the Space Needle? How can you call yourself a Seattleite?”
“I thought it was a touristy thing, but I was wrong. I should’ve come here a long time ago. This view is incredible.”
“I have another question. Have you done the Seattle Underground Tour?”
“Touristy,” I responded.
“That does it. I’m taking you. Next week?”
“You know what? I’ll say yes. That sounds like fun.” We stood and smiled at each other. He moved a little closer.
“Do you want to practice?” he asked.
“Practice what?”
“Moving on. I think you need a quick, I mean, extremely quick kiss. Just so you can get past it. I assure you, that’s the biggest step when moving on. I can offer my services, you know, to help you.” He smiled at me warmly. He was quite nice. And handsome. What could it hurt?
“I wouldn’t want to give you the wrong impression. I think we should stay friends. I need a friend right now.” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I was having fun, and I hoped we could continue the friendship without getting messed up in a relationship.
“I get it. No lips. I’ll kiss your cheek instead. Would that be all right?”
I laughed. “Sure, go ahead, kiss away.”
We were laughing as he leaned in for his friendship kiss, when a loud crashing sound came from the gift shop.
He laughed. “Well, I guess the universe is trying to tell us something.”
I smiled. “Friends?”
He took my hand. “Friends.”
FORTY-ONE
Braydon
I reached into my wallet and asked the cashier, “Will five hundred dollars cover it?” I counted the hundred dollar bills on the counter.
“Sir, I think a hundred should be okay. I can go check with my boss,” The pink-haired, gum-chewing employee offered.
“No! I’m in a hurry. Please tell your boss I’m very sorry. You can do whatever you want with the extra money.” I threw down the last hundred dollar bill, grabbed Tiffany by the arm, and went out the exit farthest from where Jain and Erik were.
Tiffany didn’t say a word until the valet retrieved the car and we were headed back on I-5 toward her parents’ home.
“Braydon?”
“I know what you’re going to say. It was crazy what I did back there. I wasn’t thinking straight, and the rack of stupid porcelain Space Needles was right next to me. I knew they’d make a huge racket when they fell and broke. It wasn’t my finest moment, but you have to admit, it worked.” I was embarrassed but still happy I was able to interfere with him touching her. I knew, someday, I wouldn’t be around, but for today, I wouldn’t have to worry about it.
“No, I wasn’t going to say you were crazy. But, wasn’t the purpose of this charade, you and me, to help her move on? You just prevented that. Your actions are in complete conflict with what you said you wanted for her.”
“Not him, Tiffany. Anyone but him.” I couldn’t stand it.
“Why not him? She works with him, right?”
“Yes. I told you about how he tried to grope her in the lab.”
“All that means is he liked her before you figured out you had feelings for her. Wait a minute. You already had feelings for her back then, and you’re jealous. That’s why you don’t like him.”
She might have a point. “Maybe.”
“I think I might have given you some wrong advice. It was fun making Angela mad, and I enjoy your company…”
“But?”
“I don’t think I’m doing you any favors. I respect that you want to do an unselfish act, but maybe this is something you can’t handle. Maybe you’ll never get over Jain. Have you thought about that?”
“Every day.”
“I’ll go to the fundraising event with you on Valentine’s Day, but after that, you’re going to have to find someone else. I don’t know Jain, but I think she should know the truth. You should let her decide. You’ve become a good friend of mine in a short amount of time. I think you’re a great person. I won’t sit back and let a friend make a mistake, and I sure as hell won’t be part of that mistake.”
“I broke my promise to her. She warned me, Tiffany. She told me if I did it a second time, there would never be a third.
“Doesn’t she watch baseball? Everyone knows you get three strikes before you’re out.” She grinned.
“Jain has a high moral code. She won’t change her mind. Her mom died from ALS. She told me some personal stories about it. After Angela’s prank, I asked her if she’d lied about her mom. I asked her if she was even dead.” I gripped the steering wheel while I remembered her expression. The betrayal, the hurt, the shock of what I’d said was reflected in every part of her face. She looked stricken, her mouth open, and her big eyes filled with tears. I hated myself at that moment. How could I have been so stupid?
“Ouch. That’s a bad one,” she agreed.
“I’ve already hurt her enough. I want her to be happy. I can’t take back what I said, so I need to let her go.”
“I understand you want to do the right thing. I’m just not sure this is the right thing. I’ve never believed in this stuff before, but I think you might have a soul-mate kind of love going on here. I’ve never seen anyone so in love. Do you think you could ever be happy without her?”
My throat constricted. “No.”
“Oh, Braydon.”