“Because if I do…”
“What?” she asked, but when she took a step toward him, he retreated one. “Do you think this boundary stops you from caring about me? Is that what you’re scared of? You don’t want to care about me?”
All of his actions suggested to her that he already did. “No.”
“Then, what? Explain to me why you won’t touch me with your own hands. How can we be together when you’ve never touched my breasts or kissed me anywhere beneath my neck? You’ve never felt what it’s like to tease me with your fingers, to sink your dick into me—”
“You think I’m not aware of that?” he asked, his brows leaping up. “Do you think I’ve failed to notice every opportunity I’ve ever had to take advantage of you? I get it almost every night. You think I don’t think about that all the time?”
Did he? “I wonder,” she said. “If you wanted me as much as I want you, you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. Look at me swanning around naked, trying to get your attention, trying to find out how to turn you on, how to make you want me, or was I right? Is this just some kind of warped experiment?”
“I’d never use you!” Startled by his own outburst, he took a calming breath. “Shy, I do want you.”
“Then have me,” she said, opening her arms. Slow in, quick out, her breathing mimicked the rhythm she wanted their bodies to share. “What’s stopping you? We’re alone. I’m naked. I’ve already distracted you. There won’t be a better time.”
Once again, his eyes travelled over her and when he began to inch backwards, she knew she’d lost him. “I’m going for a run.”
“A run,” she sighed. “I guess that’s my cue to get out of here.”
“You should get something to eat. Bess will be looking for—”
“Whatever,” she said, walking away from him to go back to the bedroom to gather up her things.
He may be able to switch off and cope with his feelings by running along the battered island shore, but she couldn’t. Zave thought she made him lose control, and for a minute she’d thought it too. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Devon had done everything in her power to make him want her, to make him wild, but she’d failed. He’d never touch her like she wanted him to. Either she had to get used to living her life with a boyfriend she’d never sleep with, or she had to realize she just wasn’t enough.
NINETEEN
After eating lunch alone, Devon was writing at the dining table. She’d tried to complete her latest piece earlier in the day, but her creative juices had been parched by what had happened that morning in Zave’s lab.
Thad and Bess came in, one after the other. “She’s beautiful,” Thad said, continuing the conversation he must have been having with his mother before they entered. “White blonde hair, porcelain skin, and the most striking blue eyes you’ve ever seen. We paid more for her than we’ve paid for any other girl.”
Both had moved into the room but had yet to acknowledge her. “It’s so horrible,” Bess said.
“I’ll say,” Thad agreed on his way to the large wooden cabinet in the corner that was designed to fit in with the antique furniture throughout the house but was actually a fully-stocked, double-wide fridge and chilled wine rack. He pulled out a bottle of water and gulped down most of its contents.
They hadn’t spoken to her but were talking freely, so Devon interjected. “How is her health?” she asked.
Thad didn’t hesitate to answer. “Tough to tell,” he said. “We’ve got to let her sleep it off. She’s thin and weak, but they always are. I’ve done what I can without being invasive.”
“I’ll take something up for her to eat,” Bess said. “She’s dehydrated, she might need one of your IV things.”
“If she lets me do it,” he said. “The last girl we brought in here was tricky.”
Devon gave him a smile as he dropped into a chair further up the table. “How different was her setup to mine?”
“Don’t know,” he said. “We don’t see behind the scenes.”
“Do you go to the auctions?”
Thad picked at the label on his bottle. “Sometimes. If Zave’s allowed a body man, I go in under that role. Most of the time, I provide backup from outside and that’s when our tech comes in handy. If we think it might get sticky, we’d call in Brodie or Swift, but we would need to know ahead of time for that. There was no need this time, it was standard stuff.”
Most of the population went about their lives without ever thinking about the disgusting underbelly that existed around them. Crime was rife in streets across the world. Men and women were subjected to horrific treatment that profited others.
After doing the job for so long, she could understand why Thad was apathetic to it. Devon was still adjusting.
“Back to your writing?” Bess asked, nodding at the page on the table in front of Devon as she folded her arms on the back of one of the dining chairs.
“Yes,” Devon said. With a new guest in the house, Bess had been busy, and Devon hadn’t seen another person since leaving Zave’s suite.
Zave would be doing his best to avoid not only the new rescuee, but the previous one as well: her. “I can talk to her,” Devon said. “If you think it will help.”
Bess and Thad exchanged one of their looks. Devon used to think it was a mother/son thing that allowed them to communicate without speaking. Bess had raised Thad on her own. They’d always been close according to what Bess had said, and she doted on her child.
That bond was a contributing factor. But Devon began to recognize it as a Kindred trait, as well. Maybe facing so many life and death situations together allowed them to share thoughts based upon their similar experiences.
“It could go either way,” Thad said. “It’s either the best idea in the world or the worst.”
“I think it would help our new friend,” Bess said. “I’m not so sure it would help you, Devon, dearie.”
Devon was surprised Bess was still concerned. “Me? I’ve had weeks to come to terms with what happened to me. I’ve been the woman in that bed, terrified. I can relate to what she’s going through. Maybe it will help us breakthrough.”
“But you’re not Kindred,” Thad said. “You haven’t been briefed on the rules.”
“Then brief me,” she said, not in the mood to be marginalized. “Anyway, I know how it works, I’ve been on the other side of your silence. I shouldn’t tell her where she is or who any of us are. I should use everyone’s code names. I shouldn’t give out any details or answer too many questions. I have to reassure her without being specific. I think I can manage all that. Especially since there’s still so much I don’t know.”
Thad inhaled. “Finch,” he said, linking his hands around his bottle when he put it on the table.
“What?”
“Zara came up with it. If you’re going to do Kindred business, you need a Kindred name.”
“The first thing they usually ask is for a name,” Bess said.
Being a part of this process gave her the focus she’d lacked today. “You use your real name,” Devon said.
“But who would know me?” Bess asked. “I don’t give out a last name, I’m like every other busybody on the street. There are people out there who know your brother.”
The Kindred had experience that Devon had to trust. “People who could hurt him. You take the alias and use it, or you go nowhere near this girl,” Thad said. “It protects you and the people you care about.”
Thad didn’t equivocate and Bess broke the tension. “Everyone I care about is capable of looking after themselves,” Bess said. “I still don’t think going in there will do you any favors. You’re still regaining your strength.”
Bess liked to mother everyone and Devon often felt like the sheltered daughter being clucked over, but she refrained from rolling her eyes and exhaling a teenage-type scoff. “I’ve had months to regain my strength,” Devon said. “You’ve looked after me, fed me. Thad’s given me constant check-u
ps. If he wasn’t happy with my progress, he’d never have let Zave question me.”
“Maybe we should talk to Zave,” Bess said.
“I think he’s confident in her strength,” Thad said. “He wouldn’t be screwing her otherwise.”
Bess’ mouth fell open before she gasped to chastise her son. “They’re not screwing.”
The woman could be completely in the dark, or she was protecting Devon’s honor. But what she said wasn’t untrue. “As long as I have the clearance of my doctor, I think it’s safe,” Devon said, and all eyes fell on Thad.
He wasn’t convinced, but conceded. “We’ll let Mom go in first. She can try to feed her and get a measure on how our guest feels about visitors. If and when she’s ready, Finch can go inside.”
Getting a Kindred name was as exciting as it was peculiar. Devon had never needed an alias and had avoided everything in Rigor’s world that might require her to need one. Here she was in the most expensive building she’d ever slept in, being given a secret name and told not to reveal her true self.
Bess could be right and this could set Devon’s recovery back. But everyone else in the Kindred worked hard for others, putting their own needs aside.
Devon could do that. She could use the skills she had for the benefit of the group. That was the Kindred way. Right now she was the only one with the experience that could allow her to identify with this woman. It could speed the rescuee’s recovery and the turnaround of the mission.
Setting to work, she wanted to finish writing her narrative before she walked back into that bedroom and began the next chapter that would involve her helping others through their trauma.
The first oddity that brought Devon up short was the flash of acceptance under her fingerprint when she pressed it to the door Thad had guided her to. The same door Devon had been imprisoned behind when she first came to this island.
Thad was going to stay outside for moral support. It couldn’t be anything else, because even if he suspected that she planned to let the woman go, there was nowhere they could flee. Devon had proof that this was an island, and although she knew where the helicopters were, she wouldn’t know where to begin in getting it off the ground.
Besides, it wasn’t her intention to disrupt the process. She wanted to make it as easy as possible for all parties to be involved, not be a hindrance.
When she went inside, the girl was sitting up, hugging her knees, leaning against the headboard wearing the same kind of white nightgown that Devon had woken up in. Closing the door, she smiled. It hadn’t been as hard to come here as she thought it might be. Maybe having the focus of helping this terrified person aided her in forgetting her own trauma.
Thad was right. The woman was beautiful. Devon could see that she was stunning even from across the room and in her distressed state. Although, when she lifted her forehead from her knees to look and see who had come in, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Still, Devon recognized how flawless her features were.
“I’m not here to hurt you,” Devon said. She hadn’t considered how she would begin, nothing she could say would be reassuring. “You’re safe here. No one will hurt you.”
Even if this woman didn’t believe her, Devon had to say the words. “Who are you people?” the woman sobbed. “Please let me go home.
Feeling more confident in her ability to give this woman what she needed, Devon stayed calm. “We will. We just want to make you well first.”
“Why did you bring me here?”
“The place you were,” Devon said, moving to the end of the bed. “How did they treat you?”
“Horribly,” she barked out.
The cartel Devon had been with had a rule about not violating the women they planned to sell. But there were no guarantees that this woman had benefited from the same treatment.
They knew nothing about this blonde. Devon had asked, thinking that having some facts about the woman she wanted to help might prepare her. Except she was told that this woman was a stranger.
When Zave and Thad had come to rescue her for Rig, they’d known everything about her, because her brother had directed them to her and filled in all the blanks.
Being that this was a standard mission, they’d travelled to purchase the prize of the night without knowing a single thing about who she was. Devon had come here to help this poor soul, but she was getting an insight into why the Kindred worked the way they did too.
She hadn’t always understood why they brought the women here and held them while Thad nursed them back to health. Devon assumed that the women could get that care at home, except not all of them would have health insurance or be able to answer the questions posed to them by healthcare professionals. They might not be believed. They might face opposition. The Kindred could be returning them to a situation that was worse than, or similar, to the one they’d come from.
The Kindred needed time to learn whether or not the women were being returned to a safe place and to make sure they didn’t have any friends or family who might come after the people who’d purchased them, no matter how well they’d been treated. They needed to gain the trust of the women to make sure they were looked upon favorably and understood.
Rushing the women home and dumping them off might hurt the women and it might hurt the Kindred. “What’s your name?” Devon asked. The woman just blinked. “You have no reason to trust me or my friends, and I know that you’re scared. A few months ago, I was sitting where you are now.”
The woman’s shoulders went back. “You were?”
“Yes. The people here rescued me, the way you’ve been rescued. And when I sat in that bed, I challenged them. I didn’t trust them, but they helped me. I got sick and their doctor made me better. Bess fed me. They gave me back my strength.”
Bess had already been in. The girl hadn’t eaten or drunk a thing. A water bottle stood on the bedside, still untouched. With all the crying and emotional exertion, Devon wondered if Bess had been right about the need for intravenous fluids.
“But they didn’t let you go,” the woman said and sobbed again, though her hands fell down to her sides, and Devon registered the victim’s sunken eyes and lack of tears despite her obvious upset. “You’re still their prisoner and you’ve been here for months!”
“No,” Devon said, having not thought about how her continued presence would appear. “I’m here by choice.”
“They probably want you to think that. How many of them are you forced to have sex with, huh? Do they share you? Do they pass you around? The other girls said—”
“It’s not like that here.”
Devon shook her head and propped a hand on the foot-post nearest the door. Wherever this girl had been, she’d had contact with other women. At least she hadn’t been completely isolated. Although that did mean she would’ve witnessed everything that happened to the other women, good and bad.
“What is it like?” the woman whispered, probably dreading the answer.
“Bess and I are the only women here. We’re not expected to have sex with anyone. These people have done this with other women, and all of them have gone home.”
Watching her relax some more, Devon hoped she was making progress. “Then why did you stay?”
“I stayed because I wanted to help,” Devon said in truth. “Because my experience gave me knowledge that can make a difference to other women trapped in places like we were.”
Her head thumped back against the headboard. “You stayed to help me?”
“Not just you. What I went through changed me, it made me want to fight back, and you can do that, too, or you can go home to your family. You make your own choices. You just have to let us help you first.”
Her eyes closed and her head rolled to the side, making Devon worry about the way she seemed to sag. “Jennifer,” she slurred. “That’s my name.”
She slumped and her mouth opened. Devon rushed to open the door. “Wren!” she called out. Without hesitation, he leaped forward when she gestured for
him to come in.
“What happened?” he asked, going over to help the woman onto her back.
“I don’t know. We were talking and then she just… passed out.”
He tossed the pillows away and turned to listen for breathing. “She’s alive,” he said, counting her pulse.
That was a relief, but Devon clung to the foot-post and watched with wide eyes as he went through a series of checks. “Will she be ok?”
Devon got no response, Thad was in doctor mode. “Fuck it,” he said and stormed out of the room, leaving the door open.
Devon didn’t know what to do, but it wasn’t like the woman was going to run away while she was unconscious. Still, she stayed, just in case there were any changes in Jennifer’s condition.
Thad came back in with a full med-kit and an IV stand which had to have been close by because he hadn’t been gone that long. There were other doors on this floor that led to rooms she hadn’t explored, so Devon guessed one of them held supplies.
He put a needle in Jennifer’s arm, hung a bag, took blood, and all Devon could do was stand and watch, being useless. “She won’t drink anything,” Thad said. “If we don’t increase her fluids, she won’t be with us for long.”
“You’re doing the right thing.”
Jennifer’s face was gaunt, it had gone a disturbing shade of gray and Devon shivered wondering if she’d looked as ill when she lay in the bed delirious with her fever. “You don’t have to be here, I’ve got this,” he said, concern for his patient written all over his face. “Go back downstairs.”
Devon didn’t know if she should push to stay or follow his orders. He wasn’t happy, probably because he’d forced treatment on a woman without asking her if she wanted it.
Devon had been part of his journey onto that slippery slope, she’d refused treatment, and he’d been instructed to force it on her. She’d become so sick that he had no choice. Now she was thankful for what he’d done, but his discomfort over that decision had to linger and must create havoc when he tried to make ethical decisions.
Falcon (Kindred #5) Page 21