“But, I—”
Stuck-up CI man got no further chance to object because Zave stood up. Keeping his arm around her, it moved up her body to rest around her shoulders. “Leave us,” he demanded in a return to the severe, impatient man she knew.
He didn’t flinch during the time it took them all to realize they’d been dismissed. Everyone pounced to their feet and gathered up their papers to then shuffle out of the room in single file. The final assistant closed the door behind her.
There were still things on the table around where he’d been sitting, but he didn’t pay any attention to them. Zave turned himself to face her and took both of her cheeks in his hands to marry his gaze to hers.
“You came back,” he said.
Swaying forward, she was encouraged by his proximity. “Watching you be all CEO is sexy,” she said but had yet to find something about him that wasn’t.
“You’re sex starved,” he said, quick to dismiss her attraction to him as implausible. “I’ve neglected you these past few days.”
Devon was spurred to flirt. “Maybe I’ve been taking care of myself,” she said. It wasn’t like she’d never pleasured herself before Zave came along. She just hadn’t done it with an audience or had any tools to do the job for her. But if she tried, she was sure her fingers would remember how to work her into a manual release.
His brow arched. “Have you?”
She wanted to say yes, just to see how he’d react. Her smile probably betrayed the consideration of her tease because his smile became dubious. Devon couldn’t lie to him. “No, I haven’t been feeling sexy since what happened in the lab.”
“We should talk about that,” he said, perching her on the table and seating himself in his chair again.
Taken aback, she hadn’t expected them to get serious so fast. “You want to talk about it now? Here? It will take us a couple of hours to get home, and you must be tired.”
“Home?” he asked. “So you didn’t buy yourself a mansion, or come back here to let me down easy?”
Sinking down onto the floor between the table and his knees, she laid her hands on the front of his thighs. “Some things will have to change,” she said. “But if you’re question is do I want to be with you? I don’t have to think long about my answer. You’re difficult and pig-headed, and you frustrate the hell out of me, but I do love you, Zave, I do.”
When he stroked her cheek, she turned her face into the caress, savoring the rare physical connection. “That’s a big word. One I didn’t expect.”
“You keep forgetting,” she said, sliding his hand down the front of her throat to press it against her upper chest. “This isn’t all about me. You treat me like a princess, give me more than I deserve, and you’re asking me to be sure. To return to the island with you by choice.”
“Yes,” he said. “That is what I’m asking.”
“I choose to do that, but I don’t want you to be under any illusions. I’m willing…” Pausing, to moisten her throat, Devon didn’t want to say the words that would come next. But in the interest of honesty, she had to. “I’m willing to stay here and watch you go home alone if what I ask is too much for you. You were honest about why you brought me here, and now I have to be honest about my terms for coming back.”
“Sex,” he said, and she blushed probably in the same way she had on that first night he’d kissed her. Because when her head fell, he picked it back up. “I love it when you do that.” Devon was sure there was a faint curve at one side of his lips. “I’ve watched you writhe naked in front of me, sweating and screaming. I’ve pitched you into orgasm more times than I can count. But whenever I say that word—”
“Don’t,” she laughed, moving to her knees to press her fingers to his lips. “We’re having a serious conversation. You shouldn’t make me laugh.”
“Ok,” he said, blanking his expression with impressive speed. “What are your terms?”
“We have to be equal,” she said. “That means honesty and sharing and compromise, Zave. You can’t run around after me anymore, handing me everything I want.”
“Doing that makes me happy,” he said, kissing her fingertips and then returning her hand to his thigh.
“Ok, so you can. But you have to let me do the same for you.”
Devon didn’t have the money to buy him expensive gifts or have the logistical infrastructure in place to do it either. Bess had explained that supply runs came by boat and by chopper and how different stores and companies had running orders to provide air drops at intervals through the year. In time, she would figure out how to use those methods and slip her own requirements into orders. But for now it wasn’t possible.
She gave him a minute to think about her request and eventually he spoke, “I haven’t been in an equal relationship,” he said. “I don’t mean financially, I mean…”
“Emotionally? You’ve always kept yourself shut off or hidden behind shallow behaviors. You’ve never opened yourself up to anyone.”
“No,” he admitted.
Devon tried to tempt his honesty by giving hers. “It won’t happen overnight. I just need to know you’re trying. I can’t come back with you and feel like I’m a burden to you, always taking and never giving you anything. You have to let me give you something back.”
“Ok.”
But he didn’t seem to get it, he appeared too serious, like he was trying to figure this out from a practical perspective. Like if he could put the right components together in the right order and fastened them with the right cogs and screws, everything would work out.
“We have to be equal in everything,” she said. “And we can start with emotional, if you can trust me, everything else should follow.”
Maybe she wasn’t being clear, because he wasn’t following her meaning. He narrowed one eye. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“Try it,” she said, and he blinked at her.
“What?”
“Tell me something. Anything. Share a secret.” Rising as high as she could on her knees, she put both hands over his heart. “Tell me one thing that no one else knows. Just one thing.”
Adopting the look of a lost child, he rolled his jaw. The silence stretched for so long that she kept having to remind herself not to break it because if she started talking, the conversation would move on and she would never get the proof she needed, that he was willing to make an effort for her.
“I…”
It pained her to see him struggle, but hope made her lean closer. “Yes?”
After another lingering silence, he found something to admit. “I came here to make you proud,” he said.
“Here?”
“You’ve been encouraging me to take more of an active role in the business. I’ve been psyching myself up for it for a while, and I thought if I could come here you’d see me as something more than just a broken man who lives behind two triple locked doors.”
Devon had no idea that she was so embedded in his psyche or that he had any sort of insecurity that might make him consider, even for half a beat, that he wasn’t good enough for her. Making demands was a risk that she’d known might get her tossed from his life. But already it was rewarding her, because she’d just learned something that he would never have offered without her coercion.
“Lord,” she murmured and climbed onto his lap to kiss him.
Being close to him always felt good, but he kept his hands on the arm of his chair, a sign of another roadblock they’d have to address.
“One area down, what’s next?” he asked.
Her logical love did like to tackle everything in its turn. “Practical,” she said. Coiling an arm around his neck, Devon kissed his jaw.
“If we have a practical problem, I can fix it,” he said, more comfortable with his expertise in this area. “Do you need me to build you something?”
Nothing so grand. “I have to be able to talk to you. Inviting me into the lab was a big deal for you, I know that. When you disappear for hours
and days, sometimes I want to tell you something or ask a question. Emotional barriers are one thing, physical barriers are another.”
“I can disable the security on the lab doors.”
He’d missed the point. She didn’t want him to be uncomfortable in his own haven. “I’m not asking you to give up your privacy. That’s your space, I can respect that. I know you don’t want Bess and Thad swanning in any time they feel like it. But there will come a point, if we’re going to be together, that we have to share a living space, share a bathroom.”
Blank, he was always most comfortable when he was stoic. “There are more than a dozen bathrooms in the manor,” he said. “We won’t ever have to share one.”
Smiling, Devon chose to take his statement as a joke. “You know what I mean,” she said, pressing her hand into his chest.
“You’ve seen my bedroom,” he said. “It’s not fit for a woman like you. You deserve—”
“You,” Devon said, cutting him off. “You’re what I deserve and I don’t care where we are, I care that you want me around. Don’t forget, I grew up in the ‘hood. Most of my apartments have been roach-infested studios. Just ‘cause your bedroom is sparse compared to the rest of the house, it’s top of the line compared to most of the places I’ve ever lived in.”
“Is that what you want? To share my bedroom? Is that what will make you come back?”
Devon was being honest about her expectations, but she hoped he wasn’t just pandering to her needs and again sacrificing his own. “Everything else we can work on,” she soothed. “We’ll get there in time. We’re not going to adjust to each other overnight. There’s only one deal breaker.”
Getting onto her feet, she pulled him up with her. “What’s that?” he asked.
She could tell from the way the shadows in his eyes began to blaze that he knew exactly what she was going to say. “Sex,” she whispered, forcing the word past her lips. “I want to be yours, to belong to you, and I can’t until you claim me. I know you made a decision not to let yourself indulge and that I’m asking you to break that vow you made with yourself. But you didn’t come looking for me, or this; it happened on its own. I’m a new factor in your life that has to be integrated into your decision making. Now that we’ve found this, maybe you might consider… readjusting your priorities.”
“You’re trying to logic me into it,” he said, and she liked that he could read her motivations, even if she had just been caught in the act of trying to use his trait against him.
“I’ll come back with you,” she said. “But tonight we go all the way. No more excuses. No more punishments. You have to give me what I want.”
It was true that she was horny and tired of waiting for him. She’d been patient and wouldn’t dream of cajoling him into this if she didn’t think it was what he wanted. This wasn’t a matter of him not being ready, he was. It was a matter of him believing he didn’t deserve the happiness he might get from indulging himself in her body. Zave had to forgive himself, and she could help him to do that.
“To be with you or to lose you,” he said. “To have your body submit to mine or to watch you walk away for good.”
Yes, those were his options, and Devon didn’t like how long it took him to pick one. If he chose to cast her out, she would be devastated, but she would rather know that he was never going to need her in the way she needed him if that was the case.
His next words weren’t an answer. “What did you buy today?” he asked. “Anything fun?”
“Lots of things,” she said. “I left everything outside here. I bought you a present too.”
“What?” he asked.
She put a finger to his lips to indicate he should stay put while she darted out to retrieve one of her bags. Bringing it back in, Devon put it on the table to open it up. Handing over his gift, she waited for him to read the label.
“Pleasure gel. Do you think we’re going to need this?”
“It’s symbolic,” she said, her shoulders sagged, but she understood that he wasn’t offended, he was joking. “I’m giving it to you to show that I will do whatever it takes to make your body as happy as you’ve made mine. If”— she fidgeted with his cufflink—“you choose to take me home with you.”
He put the bottle back in the bag, and her heart began to beat faster in anticipation of his rejection. Before he could give her an answer, the conference room door opened and a tall, black man, probably in his late-fifties, entered.
“There’s half a damn lingerie shop out here,” the man declared, and her face burned again.
“Is there?” Zave asked, and she felt his gaze move over her before he touched his knuckle to her cheek. But she was too embarrassed to look up.
“I heard that a girl came by for you. Are you going to introduce us?”
Zave didn’t hesitate. “Devon this is Cedric Moore. Cedric, this is Devon.
“I had to come and see the girl who could move mountains,” Cedric said.
Zave put his arm around her shoulders and directed her to him so they could shake hands. “It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “But I didn’t move anything.”
“You got him here,” Cedric said. “We’ve been trying to do that his whole life.”
“Cedric was one of my dad’s best friends,” Zave explained. “He’s the guy who’s kept the place going.”
Cedric’s teasing smile put her at ease. “Now I can retire. If you’re back to take over, I’m off the hook.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, it’s one meeting,” Zave said.
Devon had heard him say the same thing to Bess and he seemed adamant about it, but she wasn’t sure if he believed it.
“And we have this beauty to thank,” Cedric said. “You moved a mountain, this is an achievement. He’s a stubborn sonofabitch.”
The compliment startled her. “I don’t think…”
“You’re the only new thing in his life,” Cedric said. “Just how new are you? Do you plan to stick around?”
“We were just figuring that out,” Devon said.
“Figure it out fast,” Cedric said, and his smile dropped when he looked at Zave again. “We’re planning that merger mixer event in a couple of weeks. It will settle the troops to see you there. The Liberty Hotel. Just your standard dancing, drinking, networking shit.”
“Maybe,” Zave said, firm and sure. “I’m not back for good, Ced, I told you that.”
“Once you get the taste, you won’t be able to stay away,” Cedric said, giving Zave’s arm a pat. “Should I put you down for a plus one?”
Devon didn’t mind being scrutinized by the man who was so important to Knight Corp. But she did mind the terror that had stirred her guts in the duration between the question and Zave’s answer.
“Cedric, you can consider Devon a permanent fixture. From now on, where I go, she goes.”
That was an answer not only to Cedric’s question, but to hers as well, and when their eyes met, the fire of Zave’s certainty stoked her relief. Devon reminded herself that they were in company, so she couldn’t shriek or leap on him as she might do if they were alone.
“You’re sure?” she asked, and he nodded once.
That meant one important thing to her: she was getting laid tonight.
TWENTY-TWO
“I feel naughty,” she said, turning her body into his when he shut the bedroom door. The lights were still off when he closed his arms around her, making no move to put them on. Devon nestled into him. “I’m so glad we didn’t run into Bess.”
“Are you worried that she’ll disapprove?”
“Disapprove?” Shoving at his jacket, Devon got it off his shoulders, then moved on to loosening his tie. “That woman’s been encouraging me to find ways into your pants for weeks.”
“You don’t need encouragement,” he said after she flung away his tie and grabbed his waistband to pull him across the room.
“No, I don’t.”
Devon was giddy, an over-excited schoolgirl
who’d just drunk her first beer at prom. Usually her first time with a guy was a nerve-wracking experience. She would be anxious and fidgety until he touched her, and that’s when she’d go stiff.
Zave had helped her out of the chopper when they landed back on the island. He’d rejected her kiss outside and collected up her shopping to move it inside. Devon was going to rely on his level-headed nature a lot over the course of their relationship because she tended to be more impulsive than he’d proved himself to be.
No lights were on in the rest of the house, signaling that Bess had gone to bed. She often retired to her room early when she was alone here. At that minute, it was somewhere between eleven and midnight, so Devon assumed that Bess was asleep.
“I went to a free clinic this afternoon,” she said. “I got a couple of months’ worth of birth control pills. It’s the most they would give me.”
His mouth slanted. “So sure of yourself, shy?”
But she was already pulling his shirt down his arms, though it snagged on his wrists. She’d never been with a man who wore cufflinks before, and her exuberance slowed as she tried to figure them out. “They wouldn’t have hurt me even if you said no.”
Loosening one link, and she figured out the other too. They were so heavy, and they gleamed in the shards of moonlight that broke through the lofty windows. She wasn’t sure what to do with such expensive items, so she held them up in her open palm to ask him.
More interested in her eyes than her gesture, Zave took them from her and tossed them to the floor behind him. “I don’t have any condoms up here,” he said. “Thad will have them stocked in the med supply store, sometimes the girls ask for them before they leave. I can go check if—”
“I didn’t say I wanted you to use a condom.” Sliding the leather strap of his belt from its buckle, she inched backward. “I can’t think of anything worse than there being another barrier between our bodies.”
Falcon (Kindred #5) Page 24