Flaw (The Flaw Series)

by Ryan Ringbloom

  “Becca.” Josh breaks the silence. “Are we gonna talk about it?”

  It? It can mean a million different things. His fight with Aidan, moving out, the things that happened between us, the nasty words I said to him. I can barely form the words trying to control the shakiness in my voice. “Talk about what?”

  “The fall? I know you had to be watching it.”

  Oh, my God, he’s talking about Dancing. I exhale, my body relaxing into the soft leather couch. “They still won,” I say with a smile.

  “Yes, and I have to say I think it’s because of me. I voted like a maniac because of you.” Josh sits back, throwing an arm over the ledge of the couch. He relaxes as well, this silly conversation about dancing taking him away from reality for a few moments. “I made my mom vote, too. I got her into the show now.”

  “You got your mom to watch it? Does she love it?”

  “Of course she does. She’s taking me over to the Target Portrait Studio next week to take some celebrity dancing-themed photos.” He pulls the joke off effortlessly without even cracking a smile.

  I fall forward laughing. “I want like a thousand wallets of that, please.”

  “You got it,” he says and grins.

  While laughing, I’ve inched my way over, closing the space between us on the couch. His hand slides down, grasping my shoulder, and I nestle into the crook of his arm. It just sort of happens. I just sort of wanted it to.

  His arm tightens around me, my eyes close, and I let myself crush into him. I relax into his side and we stay in this position for the next hour, watching the electric flames dance in front of us. I have to apologize to him. Whether it sounds sincere or not, I need to say it.

  “I’m sorry I said what I did to you, Josh. It was so wrong of me. Things with me and Aidan were complicated. Things with me and you were…” even more complicated … I think the rest of the sentence instead of saying it out loud. “I’m just really sorry.”

  “You don’t need to be sorry. You were right. I’ve been living in this big safe plastic bubble my whole life. And now with everything that’s going on, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Things are never going to be the same around here. It’s only been a week and I feel in over my head. The way the doctors are explaining things to me, my dad’s gonna be … ” His words get caught in his throat.

  “Josh, I want to help you with whatever you need.” I reach up, absentmindedly playing with one of the buttons on his shirt.

  “Thanks, but I gotta do this all on my own.”

  “No, you don’t. You can’t. No one can.” I drop my head back to look at him. “I’ll help you.”

  I climb onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I want to comfort him, take away his pain in any way I can. My lips kiss a trail down the side of his face, hesitating once I reach his lips, our breath entwined. His eyes stare into mine, filled with intensity, anticipating what comes next. I put my hands up to his face, our eyes still locked. “Do you want to kiss me?” I whisper.

  “If I do I won’t be able to stop and then what?” he asks, searching my eyes for an answer.

  I blink and look away. I don’t know the answer to that. Based on his history, that’s the part where it ends for us. I just got him back. I don’t want to lose him again.

  Shifting off his lap I cuddle back beside him. Silently we both gaze ahead at the fire. With my ear pressed against his chest, the pounding I hear matches my own.

  The clock coming from the hallway chimes, informing us that it’s midnight. I don’t want to leave, but I know Josh needs to sleep. I pry my body away from his, from the warmth that I could spend all night wrapped up in. I can’t help it, once again I bring my face up to his. His lips graze my cheek, lingering, before he pulls away, standing up from the couch.

  “It’s late. I should go,” I say, standing up next to him, slipping back into my sneakers. A huge part of me is wishing he’ll ask me to stay. We walk towards the front door through the grand hall of his empty home and Josh steps outside with me. The weather seems extra chilled after being cozied up in his arms for so long.

  He holds open the door to Aidan’s car but before I get in, I face him. “Josh, please tell me something I can do to help you.”

  “Come see me again.” His request is simple and sincere.

  “I promise.” I drop down and slide into the front seat. My voice is starting to crack and I don’t want him to see me get upset. My shaky hand slides the key into the ignition and I give him a weak smile through the window. I should have been here right away, not avoiding him because I was scared, acting like a child. I care deeply for Josh, so deeply that it pains me to see him hurting the way he is. Even though I know the risks involved, I’m going to be there for him as much as I can.

  Chapter Seven

  Jordyn

  Aidan and I leave the hospital, walking hand in hand. My mind rests easier now after seeing how much better Josh looks since Becca’s been visiting. I’m glad Aidan was finally able to talk some sense into her.

  A familiar woman holding a bouquet of flowers stares over at Aidan, gaping at his marred face as we walk through the parking lot to his car. Her eyes dart to me next, conveying a sympathetic look. I recognize her. She’s a teller at my bank. I let go of Aidan’s hand to fix a strand of hair that seems to suddenly be out of place.

  Once we’re alone in his car, I’m excited to fill him in on a little surprise I have for us. “This weekend someone in the family needs to make a quick appearance at a convention for restaurant owners. I’m that person. It’s a little two-night getaway. I was hoping you would come with me. Do you have clients this weekend?” Every minute I get to spend alone with Aidan is amazing. The private moments we share are perfection. When I’m with him, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

  “I can make sure my schedule is clear.” The smile he gives me lets me know he’s every bit as happy as I am. “Where are we going? Is it a far drive?”

  “No, it’s not a far drive.” Because we’re flying, but I leave that part out because I want to keep it a secret until right before we leave. Vegas, Baby. “We’ll leave tomorrow night and we’ll be back early Sunday evening. It’s a business trip, so everything will be expensed.”

  I can tell he’s ready to bring up the subject of my family. It’s become an issue with us that he hasn’t met them yet. I bring my lips up to his, kissing away any questions he has, running my hand up his strong muscles, pressing my fingers into the back of his neck, pushing for a deep, fiery kiss.

  “Jordyn,” he says with a groan. “Your kisses are dangerous.”

  “Well, just wait until this weekend.” I use my teeth to tug at his bottom lip.

  “If we’re going away this weekend, I should meet your family.”

  Shoot, the kiss didn’t make him forget. “You will.”

  “Jordyn, I’ve met none of your friends or family. I get it. I know it’ll be hard when they see me.” He lets out a long sigh.

  “No, Aidan, I want you to meet them, it’s just… you can meet them when we get back.” I’m nervous for my family to meet him. The scar and his background; even though those things shouldn’t matter to them, I know they will. I know my family and their expectations for me. They expect me to bring home perfection. I’m terrified for how they’ll react when I don’t. “I don’t want them to scare you away if they say the wrong thing.”

  “Nothing they can say could scare me away. I love you, Jordyn. I can handle whatever they give me.”

  I manage to give him a feeble smile before turning my head to stare out the window. Aidan starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. I search quickly for a topic to move us away from the subject of meeting my family.

  “How about you come help me pack right now? That way I can see if you can guess where we’re going by what things I need to take with me.”

  His gorgeous smile is back and those deep brown eyes flicker, intrigued by my little game. The ride home goes by quick. Upstairs in my bed
room I pull out a small piece of luggage and hoist it up onto my bed. I open up the top drawer of my dresser and toss a bikini in first. “There’s your first hint.”

  “Hmm, we’ll be swimming? I take it we’re going somewhere warm?”

  “Oh baby, where we’re going it’s going to be real hot.” I wrap my leg around his and pull myself up to meet his lips. He leans forward, the tip of his tongue touches my bottom lip, and I pull my head back. “Not yet,” I taunt. “We still have some more packing to do.”

  He lets out a growl and gives me a hard smack on the ass for teasing him. Ow…oh yeah. As soon as I’m done packing I’m going to tease the hell out of him.

  I slide open my lingerie drawer. “Okay, I’m going into the bathroom to pack a few things. Maybe you could help pick out a few pieces from this drawer that you think I might need this weekend.” Aidan gives a curious glimpse into the drawer and looks back up at me. His eyes darken with lust. I throw a seductive glance over my shoulder and leave him alone in the room. That should keep him busy for a while.

  From the linen closet I take down a travel bag I use for toiletries. Gathering travel-sized bottles up, I start feeling guilt-ridden about our conversation in the car. Things with Aidan have become serious. He’s my boyfriend. I’m in love. I know it’s time to introduce him to everyone. But the dread I allow to creep in at the thought turns my stomach sour. Imagining their reaction and what awful things might be said makes me ill. If it was up to me, he would never meet my family.

  Bzzzzzzzzz…

  “Is that my phone?” I yell through the door.

  “No.”

  Bzzzzzzzzz…

  “Is it yours? Why aren’t you answering it?” I reach for my brush, running it over my hair checking my reflection.

  Bzzzzzzzzz…

  “Nope, it’s not my phone,” he says.

  What is that? I stop brushing my hair and listen. The noise still sounds from my room. I fling open the door, drop the brush, and cover my mouth, gasping. Holy Shit! Aidan holds up my efficient, sleek, multiple speed friend. The one I keep neatly tucked away in my lingerie drawer.

  “Should I pack this?” he grins.

  Becca

  Josh’s father is being discharged from the hospital in a few days. It’s a race against the clock to get everything ready before he comes home. I wait with Josh as the workers come in and transform their beautiful large house. He’s spent hours planning the necessary preparations and making sure everything is done in time. The den that we spent half the night cuddled in with the electric fireplace has become a bedroom. A hospital bed is now where the leather couches were. Small ramps are being built inside the house and a larger ramp has been built outside leading into the home. The house is being equipped to accommodate all the new needs for his father.

  With each new change being made, I see the torment in Josh’s eyes. I’m doing what I can for him but it doesn’t seem like enough. If only there was something more I could do. I would do anything to be able to take away his pain, even if it was only for a short time.

  “Let’s go out,” I say, after the last of the workmen leave his house for the day.

  “I don’t have the energy to go out.” He slumps down into a chair in the front room.

  “Well, then, let’s go out but stay in.” I walk over and reach for his hands. “We can go to my apartment, get Chinese, watch TV and just be away from here for a little bit.” He takes my hands and I see a smile cross his lips for the first time all week. “I’ll call and order our usual. It should be ready by the time we get there.” I slip out my phone and start dialing. “Go get ready, we’ll leave in five. Put on sweats or something so we can relax and be cozy.”

  “Have you ever seen me wear sweats?” he asks with a chuckle.

  I haven’t. He’s always in jeans. Always well put together, even with all he’s been through. Aside from a few hairs out of place he’s never let his appearance get sloppy. I look down at my pink sweats and t-shirt. I used my comb clip as a brush before sticking all my hair up on top of my head. Brushing my teeth and applying lip gloss is my daily beauty routine. Compared to Josh, I’m a joke.

  “Hello, Becca,” Burt, the guy who owns the Chinese restaurant, greets me on the phone. I call so often he knows it’s me when he sees my number pop up.

  I give Burt our order and Josh drives us over. We grab the food and carry it up the stairs to my apartment. I know it must feel weird for Josh being back here since he moved out. What’s going through his mind? Was coming here a good idea?

  I grab us forks and we take our containers over to the couch. The TV goes on and after only a few bites, Josh puts his carton of chicken down. I brought him here because I wanted him to forget for a while. Take him away from his home and the changes going on all around him. It’s not happening. My chicken goes down on the coffee table next to his. “Do you want a drink?”

  “No,” he shakes his head. “That won’t help anything.

  Getting up from the couch, I grab our containers and bring them into the kitchen. Josh stares ahead absently at the TV while I sneak into my room and come back out holding onto a blanket. “Here, we can snuggle up.”

  I sit next to him on the couch, covering us with the warm blanket, nuzzling into his chest. I’m not stupid. I know why I grabbed this blanket. He shifts, holding in his breath before letting out a shaky one. This isn’t snuggling. My body can’t find a position to land in. I squirm and fidget unable to relax. Josh appears as unrelaxed as I am. This tension building between us is too much to keep ignoring.

  I know what he needs. I know what I can do to help him forget for a short time. I know this has to happen.

  Underneath the blanket, my fingers slide in little circles over Josh’s thigh, working my hands up from his leg to his stomach. He doesn’t move. I undo one of the buttons on his shirt, my fingertips working their way under the fabric.

  Gradually I position myself so that my lips press up against his neck. The small kiss sends a powerful shiver through him, so strong it shakes us both. My hands reach up to his cheeks, turning his face to meet mine. I’m desperate to feel his lips on mine. When our mouths finally meet for an emphatic kiss, my skin comes alive. Visible chills form bumps down my arms.

  He pulls away, his chest rising in deep breaths. The eyes staring back at me are filled with desire, not sadness. In this moment I’m able to make him forget the horrible things he’s faced with right now. My hands go up to the soft skin of his face and bring his lips back to mine. His hands seem hesitant, waiting for permission. I take his hands and place them on my sides, covering them with my own and steering them up. Josh lets out a groan once his hands graze the sides of my breasts. He reacts fast, pulling me onto his lap, reaching up to cradle the back of my head. His mouth comes down hard on mine and our tongues collide for a deep kiss that sends me spiraling. I fall back on the couch, bringing him down with me.

  Hot kisses are trailed down my neck, each star on my chest receiving special attention. The hem of my shirt is lifted and Josh’s breath is on my stomach, his lips teasing their way across my skin. His tongue circles my belly button and his teeth nip at the dangling pink stones of my piercing. I lift my hips and he removes the clothes from the lower half of my body. I’m ready. The breath flees from my lungs when he leaves his jeans on and returns his mouth to my stomach. His eyes connect with mine before continuing down on a fiery path down until…Oh God.

  This has never been done to me before. This is wrong, amazingly wrong. This is supposed to be about him. Yes…Oh God. But there’s no way in hell my body will allow me to say the words to stop this. Instead my fingers slip into his hair, grabbing on fiercely, guiding him to just the right spot. Oh fuck…right there.

  The sensation building inside me is something new and hard to control. Fighting it is useless and it takes over me fast. I’m lost in the ecstasy of the pleasure he is generously giving. My head twists back and forth as I grab onto the side of the couch, gasping for air, reaching, givin
g in to the overwhelming amazingness overtaking me. The loud moan that escapes turns quickly into a filthy little shout out to God.

  Josh tenderly kisses the inside of each of my thighs before he sits up on the end of the couch. Still lost in a haze of blissful surprise, I bring my knees together and sit up on my elbows. He looks over at me with a shy smile. “That was good?” he asks, as if the experience was something new to him. But it couldn’t have been, could it?

  I nod my head and crook my finger, inviting him to come back down to me. After that, we are so not even close to being done.

  His hands move slowly, exploring me, sending tingles and shivers through my body. He lifts my shirt gently over my head. My bra comes off next and Josh admires each of my breasts with soft hands. I turn my head to the side, biting down on my lip, delighting in the tantalizing touches and delicate nips on my neck.

  I reach down to his brown leather belt and tug it through the buckle. His hand stops mine. “Are you sure?”

  I’m so sure. So unbelievably sure. “Yes, yes, yes,” I say breathlessly and the hand on top of mine relaxes. I lie back on the couch watching and waiting eagerly as he stands up, slowly unzips and lowers his jeans. I peel my eyes away from the growing desire on his gorgeous face down. Oh my, um. I’m not sure if it’s the angle I’m looking from or if he’s really that blessed. But holy shit. I can’t stop staring as he takes a condom out from his wallet. I hold my hand out and he hands me the packet. Before tearing it I sneak a glance and read. Magnum XL. Wow, I thought these condoms were a myth. Okay, no, it was not the angle. And, no, it’s not a myth. I roll the condom into place, glad I’m not a virgin, although this may feel like I am all over again.

  His hand eases in between my legs and rubs. My body responds readily, growing impatient for what comes next. I run my hand through my hair, brushing it away from my face. He leans forward, skimming his lips against mine. Our eyes are locked as he enters me slowly. I gasp, holding my breath, then exhale steadily.

  “Are you okay?” he asks.