“I’m not able to meet with you. You can just let me know what you need me to do over the phone,” he states evenly.
“Aidan, you’re going to have to see me eventually. Honestly, you know damn well what I am going to ask you to do for this event. What are you going to do then? Are you going to be the prince who ignores the princess?”
“How will I be able to ignore you if I’m hidden under a mask? Don’t forget if the children see me they’ll cry at what a monster I am.”
“Aidan,” I open my mouth to say more but only a sob comes out. I want to explain to him about the children. Why seeing a prince like him is so important, showing all the children a different kind of beauty. Show them a handsome prince they can relate to. Tell him how beautiful I really think he is.
“Jordyn, let’s not do this. I’ll help out by simply sending a donation and you find yourself another prince.”
“There is no other prince. You said you forgave me,” I say through tears. “You said you knew I was sorry and you forgave me.
“Jordyn, why are you doing this?” he yells into the phone. “Why? You contacting me like this… is hurting me more than anyone else ever did. At least with the others they left me alone and let me move on.”
“I don’t want you to move on. The things I said to you on the night we were married, that’s the way I really feel. I want to be with you forever.”
“What you wanted, Jordyn, was to keep me hidden. You wanted to be with me, just as long as no one knew about it.”
I take a few breaths, regaining my composure. No more tears right now. I may be making changes but the strong person I am is not something that should be lost in those changes. “I told you I was sorry. I told you that I was wrong. I never meant those things I said. I’m doing everything in my power to fix myself so that I can fix us. I am so sorry that I fucked up so bad and hurt you. I love you with all my heart, but if that’s not enough than I will leave you alone. Is that what you really want? Do you want me to leave you alone?”
There’s a long stretch of silence on the phone before he finally speaks. “Jordyn, I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
The phone clicks, disconnecting us.
The sharp pains I’ve been feeling on and off all day worsen. I press my hand into my abdomen and hold it. I’m not sure what’s causing it, most likely stress from everything going on with Aidan. Since we broke up, I feel sick or in pain all the time. I’m trying to stay strong but it’s tough when you’re suffering from a broken heart.
I swallow down two aspirin before heading out to a full evening of class, dropping something off at the hospital, and then helping out at the bar. I can only hope staying busy will help keep my mind off of the constant thoughts of Aidan and how I made a mess of everything.
Becca
Thump, thump, thump.
Josh stirs next to me as I roll over in bed and look at the clock. Two AM. I grab a robe, walking into my front room, and peek out the peephole. What the heck? I tighten the robe and open my door.
“You told me so.” Aidan stands in my doorway piss drunk. “There, I said it for you. Now you don’t have to tell me you told me so.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Jor-dyn,” he drags her name out in two long syllables. The stench of his breath forces me to step back and fan my face.
I know he and Jordyn broke up, but he said it was mutual. Played it off as no big deal, he’d said they had a good time together but that’s all it was. Obviously that wasn’t the case.
“You were right. We can’t trust a certain type of people.” He stumbles over to my couch and lands with a big thud. “Remember when Jordyn was actually preaching to me about you? Yup.” He shakes his head. “She called me up wanting me to come over to discuss with me you calling Josh a joke. She was waving her finger around all high and mighty, defending Josh as some big saint. But then … ” His eyes widen and he leans in to whisper loudly, “she turned around and called me a monster.”
“What? When did…” I notice Josh come out of my room, shirtless, wearing only pajama pants. He stands in the corner running a hand through his tousled hair, unsure if he should let his presence be known just yet.
“Nope. Shh,” Aidan cuts me off. “I’m not finished. She told me she loved me.” He rolls his eyes. “Told me she wanted to be with me forever. We got married. Yup, soak that in for a second. And then… And then, this is the best part. She called me out in front of her whole family. Told them all how my face wasn’t the only fucked up thing about me.” He throws his head back and lets out a gruff laugh from his gut. “We’re not married anymore.”
Josh walks over and puts his arm around my waist protectively. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly. I’m too stunned to acknowledge him, standing there gaping at all that I’m hearing. I’ve been a horrible friend to have missed all that’s been going on with Aidan. I should have known better when he told me about the break up, but I’ve been so caught in my own love life that I wasn’t there when he needed me.
“Ah, shit, am I interrupting a chocolate chip sleep over party?” Aidan lets out another guttural laugh. “I’m never any fun at these chocolate chip parties you guys like to have. I’m gonna go get outta your way.” He staggers up from the couch and pauses at the doorway. His eyes land on Josh, smirking viciously. “But Becca, when this thing you got going on with Josh doesn’t work out, you can come over anytime you want, sleep in my bed, and give me another one of those friendly hand jobs again.”
Josh’s hand leaves my side and he takes a step forward. “No.” I stop him, pushing my hands onto his bare chest. “Let me take care of this. He’s just drunk and hurt. I’m gonna take him across the hall. I’ll make him some coffee and talk with him.”
“I think I should go with you.”
“No, stay here. I need to talk with him by myself.”
“I’m right here if you need me.” Josh places a kiss on my temple.
I walk over to Aidan and dig my hand into his shoulder, pushing him across the hall. “Oh, yeah baby, we’re gonna do this right now,” he says loudly for Josh’s benefit. My fingernails dig in deeper, trying to shut him up.
Inside his apartment, Aidan still stumbles and zigzags mumbling incoherent words. The only thing I’m able to make out is the sad way he says the name Jordyn. His face pales and I guide him towards the bathroom. I hear him retching as I take in the source of his drunkenness. A half empty bottle of whiskey and almost a dozen empty beer bottles line the counter. No wonder he’s sick as a dog right now. I put on a pot of coffee and wait at the counter for him to come out. Aidan and Jordyn got married? I never should have believed him when he said he and Jordyn breaking up was mutual. I know how much he loves her.
The water in the bathroom runs and he comes out a half hour later showered but looking like death.
“Becca, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over there like that.” He rubs his hands over his face. “I need to go sleep this off.”
“Aidan, why didn’t you come to me sooner? I’m your friend, I would have been there for you, helped you.”
“There’s nothing to help. The first night I was with her I accused her of slumming. Remember that word?” he snorts.
Slumming. My word. “I was wrong when I said that word. That’s not the way Jordyn or Josh would ever think of us.”
“That’s what I thought, but it turns out I was the one who was wrong because that’s exactly what she did think.”
“How can you say that? You just told me you’re married.”
“Were married. She realized her mistake right away. She took the slumming a little too far. I was so blind and stupid, she had me completely fooled.”
He’s drunk and none of this is making much sense. I walk him into his room and tuck him in, leaving a bottle of water on his night table for when he wakes up needing it. “Sleep Aidan, tomorrow we’ll finish talking about this. I’ll be here when you wake up. I won’t let you go through this alon
e anymore.”
His eyes close tight, too tight for him to be asleep. “Becca, I can’t go through stuff like this again.”
“I know.” I climb into his bed and wrap my arms around him. The noisy, uneven breaths he lets out tear up my insides. The pain he’s going through is inconceivable. This is what I wanted to protect him from and I failed. I lie next to him, rubbing my fingernails over his hair in the soothing little scratches I know he enjoys until his breathing evens out and I’m sure he’s asleep. I stay with him a little bit longer before going into the kitchen and turning off the coffee pot. Before I leave I dump the leftover whiskey down the drain and rinse the bottle out before going back to my place.
Josh is waiting for me, leaning against the counter in my kitchen. He stands up and walks over to me. “Did you know about all this?” I ask him and he nods his head solemnly.
“I only just found out. I figured he would tell you himself when he was ready.”
We sit down on the couch. I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my chin on top. “I should have been there for him. I knew something like this was going to happen.”
Josh shakes his head. “Jordyn puts a lot of pressure on herself to be perfect. She made a mistake, a huge one, said some real horrible things. But trust me when I tell you she is devastated. She loves him and she’s trying everything she can to talk with him and work things out, but he just won’t let her.”
“They were actually married?”
“Vegas,” Josh says, answering the when and where before I even ask.
“I’m sure there was no prenup in Vegas. She probably realized when she got home and panicked, wanting a way out,” I say bitterly, a part of me wondering if money played a part in all this.
“Money had nothing to do with it. He’s the one who had the papers drawn up to annul the marriage. He’s the one who enforced it. She didn’t want to sign it. Like I said, she’s devastated. She loves him.”
“What do I say when I talk to him tomorrow?”
“I would try and get him to talk with her.”
“He’s been through so much in his life. I don’t want to see him hurt anymore.”
“They’re in love,” Josh declares.
“Love, pfft. Even if that’s true, love, sometimes that isn’t enough.”
“Really? Because I think it’s everything.” Josh leans his head back on the couch.
I stay quiet, wondering if that’s really true.
“Becca, what Aidan said before,” he swings his finger, pointing from me to him. “This is gonna work out.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Before Aidan said ‘when this doesn’t work out’ and I want you to know, it is. I love you. I want you to trust me.” His hand moves down my back, pulling me in. The inviting musky scent of his aftershave tickles my nose. I swing my legs around to straddle him, bringing my lips to his.
“I love you, too,” I say, tugging two fistfuls of his thick gray hair. So far Josh hasn’t given me any reason not to trust him. Aidan’s other comment from before creeps back in my mind. If we’re building trust I should probably clear that up.
“The other thing Aidan said, ya know.” I look down and play with the belt on my robe. “About the ‘friendly hand job,’ um, that was before you and me and…”
“No.” Josh shudders. “That is something we never ever need to discuss.”
“It was nothing, just…”
“Nope. We never need to discuss it.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jordyn
The last thing I remember is being rushed into the emergency room at the children’s hospital. Appendicitis. Looking back, I should have known. The warning signs were obvious. I ignored the pain I was experiencing for two days. They did the surgery right away and the doctor who just left my room said I should be fine to go home in the morning. I lift up the hospital gown, pulling back the bandage to examine my new incision. Ironically, I’ll have a scar in the place where I wanted Aidan to tattoo me on the night we met.
There’s a knock at the door and my mom walks in, carrying an enormous mixed bouquet of flowers: roses, tulips, lilies, all of them white.
“Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?” she asks, sitting on the edge of my bed.
“I feel fine, Mom.”
“You scared us. We weren’t sure what was going on at first but the doctor said it was okay, the appendix hadn’t ruptured or anything.”
“I know, I should have realized what was causing the pain, but I’ve just been so crazed lately and caught up in things that I guess I just missed the signs. I blamed the pain on a broken heart.” I try to smile but swallow instead.
My mother hands me the bouquet. “Here, these will make you feel better.”
“This was silly, Mom. I’m going home in the morning. I didn’t need a big bouquet of flowers.” I lay them down in the bed beside me.
“They’re not from me.” She squeezes my leg through the blanket and smiles. “He’s been here for the last few hours, just waiting, making sure you’re going to be okay.”
My pulse quickens and I sit up quickly, flinching at the pain. “Aidan? He’s here? Is he going to come see me? Mom, ask him if he’ll come see me.”
“Calm down, honey. I’m going to go get him. I’ll tell him you’re okay to have visitors now.”
Once my mother leaves the room I comb my fingers through my short hair, scrambling to find the little comb in the bucket by my bedside. I smooth a few tangles out the best I can and sit up, anxiously waiting for Aidan. He’s there a few minutes later, mirrored glasses on, the hood of his jacket pulled up and his head held down so I can’t see his face.
“You’re feeling okay?” he asks, standing far away from my bed.
“That’s a loaded question,” I say, unable to take my eyes off him. The incision on my side pulls as I try and get up from my bed.
“What are you doing?” He steps forward. “Don’t get up.”
I pat the side of my bed. “Please?” I need him near me. I need to see him and feel him.
He walks over knowing if he doesn’t, I’ll get up and go to him. The bed is in an upright position and when he sits down next to me, I’m able to reach over and touch him. He allows me to lower his hood but still keeps his head down. “Can you take off the glasses and look at me?”
He does what I ask. The glasses get removed and he slowly turns to face me. We hold each other’s stare. Tentatively his hand reaches for mine. “Kiss me,” I whisper. “Please.”
I bring my hands up to his neck and urge him forward. Our lips finally reconnect. The kiss is soft and tender. I pull back, resting my forehead against his. “I love you,” I say and his eyes close. He says nothing but I know in my heart he feels the same way.
My mouth crashes back down on his this time with all the desperation that’s been bottled up inside me. The kiss ignites yet Aidan is careful not to hold me too tight and risk hurting the sensitive area from my surgery.
“Princess Jordyn!” We’re interrupted by a little girl’s squeal. The kiss ends abruptly and I look over to see Christina, one of the little girls I absolutely adore from the burn unit. Her mother runs into the room a few seconds after her, winded.
Aidan quickly lowers his head, his hand searching through the blankets on my bed for his glasses. He can’t find them so instead covers his face in his hands.
“I’m so sorry,” her mother apologizes. “I hope we’re not interrupting. But when she heard Princess Jordyn was here she needed to come down immediately and make sure you were okay.”
“Oh, Christina, I’m fine. It was just my silly appendix. They took it out and now I’m all better.” I give her a very reassuring smile.
“Is he your handsome prince?” Christina asks, pointing a finger at Aidan and giggles. “I know he is, I just saw you guys kissing,” she says in a cute little taunting voice.
“Yes, this is my prince, Aidan.” I say it proudly. I say it hopefully. “Aidan, this is Christi
na, a princess in training. I would love for you to meet her.”
Aidan tenses, then he turns slowly, one hand still clinging to the side of his face. His eyes land on the little girl. She has dark hair, dark skin, and discolored burn marks on her cheeks, chin, and neck. His wide eyes take a moment to register as he slowly removes his hand and gives her the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.
Christina’s little mouth drops open in a moment of surprise and then raises into a huge smile of her own. She looks at me and I see her eyes glaze over in approval. “Yay! Jordyn has a prince,” she exclaims, jumping up and down doing a very happy dance.
“Yes, I do.” I laugh at her excitement and admiration. “And now I need you to go back upstairs. I’m putting you in charge of telling everybody the good news.”
She beams proudly at her important duty and runs over with her arms held open. “Careful, Christina, you can’t hug Princess Jordyn too hard, she just had surgery,” her mother warns.
“I’m not hugging her,” Christina huffs. “I’m hugging Prince Aidan.”
Aidan gives the girl a tight squeeze and then stands up and does the prince bow I taught him. Christina giggles and runs back to her mother, giddy with little girl delight.
“Feel better.” Her mother waves at me before taking Christina’s hand and leading her out of the room.
Once we’re alone again, Aidan folds his hands together and brings them up to his mouth. He’s deeply touched by what just occurred and needs a moment to compose himself. I need one, too. The emotion has left me choked up as well.
“You were amazing with her,” I say softly, reaching my hand over to his. “They’re all going to love you. My handsome Prince Aidan.”
“Jordyn,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead.
“I know.” My voice trembles, shaky breaths escaping me. “I know I hurt you. And I know it’s going to take a long time before you can trust me again. But believe me, I love you. I love you so much. Being without you is torture. It’s painful. I need you. Aidan, I promise, I swear on my life, I will never hurt you again.”
Flaw (The Flaw Series) Page 18