“Sam,” Kate pleaded.
“I am just trying to capture the moment discreetly,” he shrugged defensively.
Willow panted and groaned. She was being such a brave trooper, and Hannah knew why. After Sam had watched the video of the twin’s births, he had tormented her relentlessly for months. At the time, he kept his opinions of her vagina to himself and instead teased her about the fact that she screamed like a wild banshee at the end. Even going so far as pointing out that she had cried louder than Kenyon.
Obviously, Willow had some reservations about allowing him in the room while she birthed his daughter, but Sam promised to be on his best behavior. So far, with only a few minor slip-ups, he was doing just that. Hannah was bursting with pride for both her babies.
At the moment, he was nowhere to be seen. Leaning forward, she spotted his dark hair down by the doctor’s feet. Seizing the moment, she kissed Willow’s cheek. “Baby, you are doing so fabulous. I’m so proud of you, but you need to just do it. Just let it rip.”
“No,” Willow moaned. “Not…when… he…is…here.”
“Willow, the baby is crowning. One good push and she will be out of there,” the doctor said encouragingly.
“You can do this,” Hannah coaxed.
Struggling to sit up, Willow leaned heavily against Hannah, and then pushed with all her might. The curse words that escaped from between her lips could have sponsored at least half a dozen mission trips had Pastor Mark been around to hear them. Hannah’s wild laughter only faded once she heard the cries of a brand-new princess, who was demanding to be heard over the wild ruckus.
While Sam and Kate were busy falling in love with their daughter, Hannah stayed by Willow. “You were amazing,” she said as she stroked her face with a cool towel.
“Women deliver babies every day.”
“But none of them do it as beautifully as you,” Hannah insisted.
Hannah hung back for several minutes, giving the new parents some alone time with their baby. After little Abigail Montgomery was clean, diapered, and properly swaddled, they took her out to the waiting room to introduce her to Kate’s side of the family.
Hannah knew that as the out-of-town-grandparents, this bonding time was very special for Jane and Bob. She also knew that once they returned to Dallas, she would have to reorganize the nursery. Jane really did have the sweetest intentions, although her style could use some updating. Some people were born fabulous—some were not. Besides, it really didn’t matter what you were born with—only that you make the best of what you got.
Once Willow was settled and resting, Hannah left her to find the twins. They were snuggled beside their older brother. Sam was explaining to them both, “Since you are now officially an uncle and aunt, I decided you both deserve something special. Here you go, Kenyon.”
Kenyon, who didn’t know how to read, recognized the logo printed on the pair of tickets.
“Those are for the Cowboys season-opener,” Sam said.
“Thanks, Sam.”
“And me?” McKenna demanded as she placed her small hands on Sam’s face to tilt his head in her direction. “What did you get me?”
“Here, I’ll let you open it,” Sam answered and handed package wrapped in pink foil paper.
“It’s beautiful!” McKenna exclaimed.
Hannah took one look at the diamond tiara and her lips puckered to a frown. “You shouldn’t have, Sam,” she groaned. “Really.”
“But Mommy, the other one was cheap,” McKenna pouted as she placed it on her head. “Now I look like a real princess.”
“Yes you do, but you’re only allowed to wear it on special occasions,” Hannah conceded. “Now come on, you two. Let’s go see Mommy Willow.” With one twin propped on each hip, Hannah cautioned as she entered her room, “Remember to be gentle. Mommy Willow just squeezed a nine-pound baby out of her vagina.”
Later that evening, after the twins had gone to sleep, Hannah sat alone in the bedroom just thinking how quiet it felt, when her phone started ringing.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hannah, I don’t know what to do,” Sam said frantically over the sound of a screaming baby. “Kate went downstairs to see her parents out, and Abby started crying. It’s been going on forever,” he paused to look at the time on his phone. “Seven minutes now and she won’t stop. I’ve tried everything. I don’t want to send her back to the nursery on the first night. They might think I’m incompetent and not give her back.”
“Did you check her diaper?”
“Checked.”
“Is she hungry?”
“She didn’t want the bottle, and please don’t start in about nipple rejection.”
“Is she swaddled?”
“Yes, she is swaddled up tight like a little green bean,” he groaned. “Abby, you need to stop crying. You would look adorable right now, but your face is beet red.”
Hannah chuckled into the line. “Try telling her a story.”
“What story?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just keep talking until she stops crying,” Hannah said.
A few minutes later, Kate returned. Every time she thought she couldn’t possibly love him anymore, Sam always did something that melted her heart like butter. The sight of him rocking their daughter, who was sleeping so contented in his arms and making cute little sucking sounds with her mouth, almost brought tears to her eyes. Then she heard the story he was telling her.
“The beautiful swan soared through the sky and then she shit on all the ugly little ducks that had been so mean to her. The End.”
“That isn’t how the story ended,” Kate muttered softly, so not to wake up Abby.
“It does in my world,” Sam said smugly as he laid Abby down in the crib. He then held his fists up victoriously. “I am rocking this daddy business. Oh hey, guess what I found?”
“What?”
“An extra pair of scrubs.”
“Why?” Kate asked.
Sam walked over to her. Placing his hands around her waist, he pulled her close. “I was thinking, when we get home of course, that you could be naughty nurse Kate and I could be Dr. Sam. Or if you don’t fancy that, I could be naughty nurse Sam and you could be Dr. Kate. It doesn’t make a different to me.”
And to think, Kate had actually worried that fatherhood might make him lose some of his kink. A dad not even twelve hours, and he was already planning their next escapade.
“Or we could both be naughty nurses,” Kate offered.
“Oh, that’s even better,” Sam said wickedly before he leaned down to steal her lips.
Just thinking that her baby had his own baby made Hannah feel old. It seemed like only yesterday they were nine years old. How the time goes. Of course, most of her melancholy was caused by the fact that she was flying solo tonight. She always did so much better when Willow was close-by. Well—at least there was one person she could call.
A tired voice answered after two rings, “Hey.”
“How are you doing?” Hannah asked.
“I feel lonely,” the woman answered.
Hannah glanced over at Willow’s empty side of the bed. “Me too. You should come over and play.”
A husky voice giggled into the line, causing Hannah’s nerve endings to prickle with delight. “Well, I did just squeeze a nine-pound baby out of my vagina today. Even if they did let me leave, I wouldn’t be able to play.”
“Says you,” Hannah murmured as she strolled across the bedroom and went into the bathroom.
Willow was quiet until she heard the sound of running water in the background and then she grew instantly alert. “What is that sound? You’re not taking a bath without me, are you?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, darling,” Hannah chuckled.
“All right, fine,” Willow playfully snapped. “But you had better not use the Italian bath oil. You’re not allowed to use that without me.”
Hannah glanced at the bottle of expensive oil in her hand and then placed
it back on the shelf. “I never do.”
Willow learned a long time ago that better was a flexible word where Hannah was concerned. If better was normal then no, Hannah was not. But Hannah was many other things that made up for her lack of normalcy. She was her wife, partner in life, co-parent, the other half of her soul, and yes—a crazy bitch. Her crazy bitch.
Dear Readers,
Thank you for reading CRAZY BITCH. I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading Hannah’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I ‘met’ Hannah when I was writing the first book the series, HOOK, LINE, and GARTER. At first, I assumed she would just be an interesting side character, but as she developed I became more intrigued. Truthfully, I was probably just as surprised as you were when she revealed the truth. (And yes, my characters tell me their stories—not the other way around.)
I believe every story is a journey. Hannah’s journey appealed to me on many levels, but especially because I knew what she was and who she was destined to become. Both in fiction and the real world, I have always admired resilient characters. There is something rather remarkable about people who thrive in spite of their life circumstances.
The third installment of Bitches and Queens will focus on the next generation of fabulous. I can’t imagine it would be easy growing up in the shadows of such larger-than-life parents.
If you want to chat, you can find on Facebook at
www.facebook.com/rachael.james.52643.
Best wishes,
R.J.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
chapter 7
chapter 8
chapter 9
chapter 10
chapter 11
chapter 12
chapter 13
chapter 14
chapter 15
chapter 16
chapter 17
chapter 18
chapter 19
chapter 20
chapter 21
chapter 22
chapter 23
chapter 24
chapter 25
chapter 26
Epilogue
Crazy Bitch (Bitches and Queens) Page 19