Her dad hadn’t been thrilled, and who could blame him? But Aanaga had persuaded the man to give them his blessing and come to the wedding.
Max had gotten work on a fishing crew right after graduation and he and Shelley moved into this little house by the sea.
He took the photo from Serena and stared into Shelley’s smiling face. “We were happy.” He’d finally felt he belonged. They were going to have such a good life. She used to blush and shush him whenever he’d rub her pregnant stomach and call it Shelley’s belly. But her dad had been right to worry. If it hadn’t been for Max, Shelley would be alive.
Serena sat beside him and covered his hand with hers. “What happened?”
He drew in a deep breath. “They called it placental abruption. By the time I got her to the hospital she’d lost too much blood.” He shook his head. “So much blood.”
“Oh, Max.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was my fault.”
She shook her head. “There was nothing you could have done.”
“I was away fishing. I left her alone.”
“You couldn’t have known that would happen.”
“I should have.” He stood abruptly and returned the photo to the bookshelf. Was he really going to tell her everything? “Because of my curse.”
Max waited for Serena to scoff.
“What are you talking about?”
Fingering a book’s spine, he decided she might as well know. “Everyone I’ve been close to has died or left me. My soul has gone wandering, and I’m cursed until it returns.” He glanced at her. “It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Half the time I don’t believe it myself. Tell myself it’s just foolish superstition. But look what happened to you, after being with me. I won’t be responsible for anyone else’s death.” He stepped to the fireplace and took up the fire poker. “That’s why my parents abandoned me. Why my wife and baby died. Why my friends died in the crash.”
“Friends?”
He stared at his hands. Hands that had buried Kevin and Mike as best he could in frozen ground. Hands that had bound a gash in Beau’s leg and pulled him twenty miles. “We were college buddies. Good friends. The only friends I had.”
“Was it pilot error that caused your crash? Could you have done something differently?”
He finally met her gaze. “I don’t know. I’ve gone over and over it in my head. Best I can figure we hit a wind sheer. Even then, I might have gotten things under control, but Mike… He never was good with heights. When we started going down, he lost it. Grabbed the yoke and started messing with the instrument panel.”
“But you saved one of them. Dragged him all the way to Nome.”
He hunkered down and jabbed at the burning logs. “I would have given my life for any of them. Or Shelley and our baby…”
SERENA COULD FEEL the despair in his words. The guilt he carried over the death of his family and friends was eating away at him.
It did seem postrational to believe in things like curses. But even if she accepted it as truth, there was one thing he couldn’t dispute.
“But Max.” She stood and took his hand in hers. “I didn’t die.”
He shook his head. “This time.”
She put her hand on his chest. “I’ve ridden in your plane. You got us through a really bad storm. I got lost. You found me. I was hypothermic, and you saved me. I don’t know, but maybe—” She shrugged. “Maybe saving me lifted the curse.”
He stilled.
“Max?”
“The Searching One,” he whispered.
Chill bumps rose on Serena’s arm. “That’s what your grandmother called me.” She thought back to what Evelyn had said. “Something about her spirit guides and—” Her heart raced, and she shuddered. “Max.” She gripped his shoulders and shook him, but his muscles were stiff beneath her fingers. He wouldn’t look her in the eye. “She said the Searching One would find your wandering soul.”
His eyes flat, he turned away. “Or you almost dying was a warning. And next time you won’t be so lucky. I can’t take a chance something else might happen. Something I can’t fix. Or be there for.”
“So, if I leave here and we never see each other again, I won’t ever die, or be in a bad accident? But if you and I continue our…affair, then you think I will die? You’re prepared to be alone the rest of your life because you might be cursed?”
“What if it’s true? Are you willing to take that risk? I’m not.”
“And what if your grandmother is right? And I am the Searching One who can bring your wandering soul home? And you send me away? Are you willing to take that chance?”
“Serena. No matter how you argue it, it’s not worth your life.”
No way she was giving up without a fight. Maybe that was the reason she’d come here. Maybe she couldn’t save the environment, like her dad, or oppressed peoples, but maybe she could help someone—love someone—and that was all the difference she needed to make.
“Max. I love you.”
He shook his head. “Let me take you back to the hotel.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” She reached down and pulled her sweater off over her head and dropped it to the floor. His gaze shot down to her red bra and she heard him make a sound deep in his throat.
Yanking off her boots and tossing them away, she unzipped her jeans and pulled them off.
“Serena.” As his gaze lowered to her matching red thong, he licked his lips and took a step back.
“Do you want to know what I think?” She stalked him, reaching for the buttons on his shirt. “I think I saw you in that airport for a reason.” One button undone.
He took another step back and she moved a step forward. “If you can believe in a curse, I can believe in fate.” Another button loose.
His legs hit the sofa and he fell back. She jumped on him, straddling his waist. Max helped her finish the rest of the buttons. As soon as he pushed the last button through, she spread his shirt wide and ran her hands over his hard chest.
His jaw set, he grabbed her wrists. Emotion had finally filled his dark eyes. “I’ll still want you to leave.”
She leaned down and kissed his lips, her hair falling forward. One step at a time. “Just kiss me, Max.”
At first his lips remained still beneath hers. But they softened as she kept pressing her mouth to his, nibbling on his lower lip until he opened and let her in.
Taking over the kiss, his tongue played with hers. He released her wrists, reached around and unhooked her bra. His arms encircled her and one hand cupped her butt.
Running her hands over his shoulders, she pushed his shirt off, and then fumbled with his jeans until she got him unzipped and pulled out his hard cock. He was busy spreading kisses around her breasts and down her stomach.
“Your skin is so soft,” he mumbled against the side of her breast. His hands cupped her breasts then slid down to her waist. “You’re so beautiful.” He lifted her off him and flipped her to her back. Slowly he kissed down her body, moving between her thighs to suckle her clit through her thong.
More. As he moved to find his wallet and pull out a packet, she pulled off her panties. She didn’t want anything between them. Then he was back, stroking her with his tongue, worshipping her with his mouth.
His eyes were so full of passion, his voice so tinged with emotion as he mumbled her name. His intensity sent her over the edge and he entered her before she could recover her breath.
He pumped hard and swift, a driving rhythm, as if he were purging all his demons by making love to her. Maybe he was.
Maybe they both were.
He pushed in one last time and tensed, his eyes squeezed closed, his back and arm muscles straining. “Serena.” He laid his head beside her while she caressed his back.
“What if I had lost you?” His voice was low in her ear.
“You didn’t. You won’t.”
“I can’t go through it again.”
He still lay between he
r thighs, still inside her. She’d never felt so close to someone. She hugged her arms around him as if she could keep him with her always. “It’s not going to happen. I’ve found you. I won’t let you go.”
He released a shuddering breath and moved to her side. But he gathered her up in his arms and nuzzled into her neck. “Serena.”
She loved hearing her name on his lips. Everything would work out. Things were going to be all right. Snuggling against him, she closed her eyes, so tired.
MAX LOOKED DOWN at the beautiful woman lying naked in his arms and watched her sleep. So feminine and fragile. So beautiful. Her lashes lay thick and long against her exquisite cheekbones. Her hair waved in soft curls across his arm. He’d probably never sit on this sofa again without breathing in a whiff of her intoxicating scent.
If he didn’t get up right now, he might never leave her.
And he had to.
He slid his arm out from under her head slowly and eased off the couch, then reached up and pulled the afghan down off the back of the couch and covered her, tucking it around her feet.
If Serena was the Searching One, wouldn’t he feel different inside? Wouldn’t his heart feel free to love her without worrying about her leaving him, or dying? Instead, he was still terrified that something bad might happen to her.
He cleaned up and dressed, not bothering to shave.
Even if his soul had returned, how would this thing between them work? Was Serena going to quit her job and come live in Barrow with him? His California girl would be miserable here. She needed sunlight and shopping malls, and a career that made a difference in people’s lives. And he needed to be here for his grandmother.
He supposed he could fly a plane anywhere, but he wouldn’t leave his grandmother. She depended on him, and she had always been there for him.
Hauling his duffel from the closet, he stuffed a few shirts and underwear in, and almost packed his shaving kit. But even in the summer, Barrow was cold enough to need a beard. And the only person who wanted him shaved would be back in L.A. by tomorrow.
At the kitchen table he wrote her a quick note, and then, on impulse, grabbed up the papers still spread out on the counter and tucked them in Serena’s purse. Let her do whatever she wanted with them. He didn’t care anymore.
He allowed himself one last long look at Serena, but before his chest could tighten too painfully, he grabbed his duffel, softly called to Mickey and headed for the airport.
Once he climbed in his Cessna, he plucked his sunglasses off the visor and shoved them on. If he had to wipe his eyes once or twice, he just kept reminding himself this was for the best as he banked his plane toward the southeast.
13
“SERENA, they’re ready for you.” Roberta’s assistant hovered beside Serena, clipboard in hand, ready to lead Serena over to the picturesque spot where Jake waited with his camera.
Ah, sunny Buenos Aires. The tip of Argentina was almost as close to earth’s South Pole as she’d been to earth’s North Pole in Barrow. Which meant it was autumn here.
So much for getting away from the cold.
No, that wasn’t fair. It’d been sunny all week and mostly in the mid-sixties during the day. Serena probably would’ve complained no matter what. Having one’s lover blow one off tended to make one cranky.
Christine gave Serena’s hair one last spray against the humidity and Caitlin dabbed her nose with powder, and then yanked the tissues off from around her blouse’s neckline.
Serena hopped off her makeup chair and followed Roberta’s assistant to the center of the beautifully landscaped gardens of Luján.
“You have your notes for the prompter?” Roberta asked.
Serena handed them over and, after a brief read-through, Roberta handed them off to her assistant who began typing them in.
“I want to go over this schedule. Are you sure you want to include La Boca? And what about the soccer game?”
“Football,” Serena corrected.
“What?”
“It’s called football here, Roberta.”
“Right. When is it?”
“That’s Saturday, after the helicopter tour on Friday.”
“And why the helicopter?” Roberta squinted.
“For an aerial view of the city. You can edit that into the promos and the opening shots.”
Roberta scoffed. “I realize we need an aerial view, but why are you going?”
“Did you know this time of year blue and humpback whales can be seen migrating south off the coast of Argentina?” Serena tried to smile normally.
She’d never forget seeing the whales with Max, and that moment that had seemed so magical. Time had seemed suspended and they’d shared a sense of reverence. She knew Max had felt it too. She was pretty sure that’s when she’d fallen in love with Max Taggert.
Roberta was staring at her with one eye narrowed. “All right. I’ll authorize it.”
The helicopter. She’d almost forgotten what she’d asked for. “Thank you, Roberta.”
Serena took her spot in the plaza in front of the French neo-Gothic cathedral.
She wished she could enjoy this beautiful city, but even the shopping in Puerto Madero hadn’t thrilled her. It was crazy, but she missed the snow, and the whalebone arch, and the blanket toss, and all the friendly Iñupiat people she’d met. Since when did she prefer moose stew to an exquisite meal in a five-star restaurant?
In the mornings when she woke up here, it was as if her time in Barrow had been nothing but a weird dream. A weird dream that made one’s heart ache.
A week ago Serena had woken up to a nightmare. An empty cabin with a cold note.
Had supply run to Fairbanks.
It’s better this way.
Call Arctic Cab Co. 555-1224
Max
At least he’d had the decency not to leave cab fare on the dresser. She fought to control her eyes watering.
On the plane ride from Anchorage to Seattle she’d found Max’s papers in her purse. Serena had burst into tears when she saw them. The passengers beside her and across the aisle had stared at her, but she didn’t care. Those papers in her purse were a symbol that Max trusted her to do whatever she thought best with them.
“We’re ready, people,” Roberta yelled, then counted down with her fingers, three, two, one, and pointed at Serena.
Serena snapped back to the present and stared blankly at the camera. The teleprompter’s words might as well have been in Greek.
“Serena?”
“Sorry, Roberta. Can we start again?”
“Okay, everyone. Take two.” Roberta silently counted down again.
“The cathedral you see behind me is called the Basílica Nuestra Señora de Luján. Construction began on the church in eighteen eighty-seven and took forty-eight years to complete. The basilica attracts millions of pilgrims every year who honor the Virgin of Luján and marvel at the stunning architecture.
“And what would a trip to the ‘gateway to Argentina’ be without some authentic tango dancing? Tonight we watch a special performance of the most romantic of the Latin dances. And ladies, watch out. Only make eye contact with a man if you wish to dance the tango with him.
“Tune in all week while we Travel in Style in sunny Buenos Aires.” Serena flashed a smile and hoped no one could tell it was fake.
“Cut!” Roberta yelled, and rushed to the monitor to watch the playback. Serena dropped her smile.
Christine and Caitlin swooped in to dab and spray in case a retake was needed. People swarmed around her. Locals, tourists, lighting techs, the sound crew. A sob caught in Serena’s throat. Unclipping and pulling off her mike pack, she shoved past Christine and Caitlin and raced for the cathedral, losing herself in the crowd of pilgrims. Once inside, she found an empty alcove and leaned her cheek against the cool tiles.
She covered her mouth and pushed back the tears. The crying had to stop. She’d fallen in love. It hadn’t worked out. She would get over it.
Max was
just too damaged to love anyone.
Drawing a deep, calming breath, she lifted her gaze to the astoundingly gorgeous stained glass windows. Sunlight seemed to glow through the glass and burst into a rainbow of color. Even with hundreds of worshippers, the cathedral was cool and quiet. Peaceful.
If nothing else, the investigative and romantic failures in Barrow had taught her one thing. She didn’t feel driven to change the world anymore. She couldn’t be her dad. She could only be herself. Whatever she contributed to the world would have to be good enough. If her dad didn’t approve, that was his problem. The only person she needed to please was herself.
Maybe she did only give the world travel tips. But while she was traveling, maybe she could look for opportunities to shed light on disadvantaged areas, or ways her viewers could contribute to local charities. She’d discussed it with Roberta and her producer had presented the idea to the network execs. And rather than have her not renew her contract, they had agreed. And she’d started with editing in a clip about Shishmaref into the Alaska show.
Her makeup was ruined, but Serena lifted her chin and exited the cathedral, determined to face life with a smile.
THE SUN WAS RISING earlier and setting later every day. Soon, it would be daylight for twenty-two hours out of twenty-four. But that wasn’t the reason Max couldn’t sleep.
The night he’d left Serena in his cabin, he’d flown to Fairbanks, picked up supplies, picked up more in Anchorage the next day, and delivered them back to Barrow and the entire time he was in the air, he’d thought of nothing but Serena.
He’d picture her the way he first saw her, in that tight skirt showing off her long, bare legs. Or peeking out from under the tarp, hiding in the back of his plane. That memory always made him smile. The woman had guts.
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