by Lyn Lowe
She was older than his mother, but not much. Her long brown hair was pulled back from her slender face in a style that managed to look both ornate and simple at the same time. Her rich brown eyes were framed by wrinkles, as were her full lips. She was far from ugly. Her beauty was fading, but she didn’t try to hide it with garish makeup or flashy clothing, the way some older women of his tribe did. Her dress was obviously of fine make but it was not bedecked with beads or feathers, or anything else intended to distract from the one wearing it.
She didn’t belong in his new world.
She seemed oblivious to the inappropriateness of her presence as she stepped into his house with a dainty grace he imagined took years of practice. He gawked as she surveyed the room without a trace of disdain or disapproval. When she was done, she fixed her gaze to him once again. “I imagine you are wondering who I am.”
It was no mystery. He set the bowl down cautiously and climbed back to his feet. It wouldn’t do to cower before this woman. “You’re the Lady Autumnsong.”
He thought he caught a slight lift to her right eyebrow, but it was gone before he could be sure.
“Yes. Do you know why I am here?”
“No.” He bit back everything else he wanted to say.
She gestured to the doorway. “I am going for a walk. You will accompany me.”
He wanted very much to argue. But he was curious. And a little bored. And, honestly, he wasn’t sure he was ready to make an enemy of this woman. He didn’t know enough. Not yet.
She did not glance back to see if he was following. Kaie struggled to swallow his irritation at her arrogance as he trotted along like a dutiful dog.
“This area is very quiet now, isn’t it?”
It took him a second to decide if she was asking him or simply making an observation. “Uh, I guess. Are other places different?”
She shot him a backward glance, making it clear that she had not been speaking to him after all. The expression wasn’t angry. But it did make him feel distinctly uncomfortable. “Yes. I make it a habit to visit my holdings regularly. Most of them are quite vibrant. I do what I can to make them bearable and the residents make them home. This place though…”
She stopped and turned around, crossing her arms over her chest and looked through him. Kaie got the feeling she was caught up in some unpleasant memory. “You met my niece, Luna. She is a brilliant girl. Anything she sets her mind to, she accomplishes with a flourish.
“Unfortunately, two months ago she was stirring up trouble here in East Field. By the time I realized what she was doing, the people were rioting. Two overseers were killed before I could accept that there was no peaceful solution. Half the people – twenty–one men, twelve women and four children – were put down before the instigators surrendered. At least one person from every family. And, to ensure that things did not get out of control again, I’ve cut rations in half for East Field. No personal effects are allowed. No gatherings of any sorts. Everyone is escorted to and from their duties.
“It is a terrible burden on everyone living here. Especially, I imagine, the new arrivals like yourself. You are being punished for things you did not even know about. But if I lift the punishment too early, I will seem weak. It will invite more disturbances. From Luna and the residents both. I must continue this punishment for another six months, I expect, before she stops paying attention.”
“Oh.”
“My niece is a difficult girl to live with. A fact I expect you do not find hard to believe. She grows bored and then I find myself entrenched in one of her games. Losing would be disastrous for me and my household, but also for her. I’m not sure if she fails to see that, or simply doesn’t care. But I have learned, at great cost, that the only way I can protect myself from her ennui is to root out every one of her schemes before it can come to fruition. Those less harmful I allow, and I defuse the worst of them.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Again, Kaie was at a loss of what to say. “What does this have to do with me?”
This time he was certain he saw her right eyebrow twitch upward. He decided it was out of surprise, not annoyance. He liked the potential consequences of that a little more.
“You aren’t afraid of me, are you?” she said.
“Of course I am. But you don’t seem interested in me falling to the ground and licking your boots.” Her lip quirked just a bit. He couldn’t tell if it was with distaste or humor. This woman was difficult to read. “You expect everyone to be afraid of you?”
“I hope,” she murmured, “that those who serve closest to me recognize that I do not enjoy cruelty. But yes, I suppose I have grown accustomed to most people I encounter having a bit of trepidation during our interactions. Even the free ones. My family is quite powerful, and it does inspire a great deal of that.”
“Well, it seems like you want something from me. I might as well be a person instead of the broken animal you people want.”
She tilted her head and looked on him with an intense scrutiny. It made him very uncomfortable but Kaie didn’t shy away. He had pushed – harder than he meant to – but he wasn’t about to back down and act submissive now. “You are surprising. I expect some of that is because you are so new to this life. But not all, I think. Most in your place fall to their knees, weeping and begging for my mercy. Some spit and hurl curses as though the gods would come avenge them personally. I’ve never met someone with such… daring. I do hope you find a way to hold on to it. I think I would be sad if you were to become one of those broken animals.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
She nodded, like it was a matter decided. Kaie found himself believing she meant it. It was a jarring thought, from the one responsible for the destruction of his home and enslavement of his people. He didn’t know what to make of it.
“You’re correct. I do want something from you.”
“Of course I’m right.” The words were out before he realized he was saying them. She was letting him get away with a lot. “People like you don’t have conversations like this unless you’re trying to get something out of it.”
She nodded “My niece is very interested in you, Kaie Zetowan. And I would like to know why.”
He scowled, battling down the urge to snap at her about her mistake with his name. He was trying to be careful. Drawing in a slow breath, he swallowed the irritation and set it aside for another day. “I don’t know. No one bothered to tell me why they set me aside for her.”
“She is testing a theory about her concoction and the effect it has on people with different traits. Red hair is something of a rarity. The Cat’s Legion is always watching for it, along with a handful of other rarities. She was quite satisfied with the other one, though. That’s not what I mean at all. She wasn’t interested at all in you last week, so far as I know. But this week, she can talk of nothing else. Why?”
Kaie scratched his head as he thought. The hair growing back was itchy. “I truly don’t know.”
The woman began her sharp scrutiny again. “The one Luna has; I’m told he took the Lunin for you.”
It was hard keeping his face neutral and his voice level. “Yes.”
“You’re going to try to tell me it was because you are a part of his tribe or some other nonsense, aren’t you?”
“Would it work?”
“No.” She folded her arms again. “My son, you met him as well. Peter. He would not tell me everything that happened in that room. But he said enough for me to know better. That boy took the collar for you, not another boy of his tribe.”
“I thought,” he said slowly, carefully, “that you do not enjoy cruelty.”
A tiny wrinkle appeared between her brows. “I am not trying to be cruel. I am asking what that boy knows about you that would capture my niece’s interest.”
Kaie’s stomach dropped. “Nothing.”
The line grew a little deeper. “I see. Well. That nothing has made her very determined. I told her that, as you refused her already,
any further attempts to take you for one of her experiments might be seen as a breach of her agreement with the Empress. That has stalled her. It will not stop her forever, though. Just long enough for me to determine how harmful this scheme of hers is.”
Kaie hesitated. There was only one thing he could think of that might explain her interest. “It’s… harmful.”
She inclined her head just a fraction as acknowledgment. Then she turned and resumed her walk. After a slow breath he started following again. Like a dutiful dog. They walked for a while. Long enough to make his legs hurt. He was out of practice. She set a rapid pace. When she finally stopped again, his breathing was a bit labored.
She turned on him, lacing her fingers on top of her stomach and tilting her head a little to the right. She was in charge now. “You will work in the stables. Several of the ones who were put down worked there. I am in great need of talented hands. You will be very talented. I do not care what skills you find, but you will find something. You will be so good at it that my stable manager will be happy to tell anyone who asks that you are invaluable.”
“Yeah, okay.” He scratched his head again. “Why, though? There are easier ways to prevent her from… doing whatever she intends to do.”
“What does that boy know about you?” She sighed and rubbed at her right eyebrow. Kaie pressed his lips closed, giving her no answer. She seemed unsurprised. “We all have our reasons. Slaves, noble women, even the Empress. Reasons for secrets, reasons to hide. Reasons to put you in the stables. Some you get to learn, others you don’t. Now you say ‘Yes Mistress’ and play your part.”
He grimaced. Dog indeed. But, whatever her reasons, she was giving him a lot more than was necessary. The words felt sour on his tongue, a new and utterly unpleasant experience. “Yes Mistress.”
She paused as she turned away from him, as though she only just remembered something. Kaie didn’t believe that. This was not the kind of woman who forgot anything.
“One more thing. Whatever this ‘nothing’ that has so captured Luna’s fascination might be, it does not end with you. She mentioned a desire to pair you with women known to be fertile and is requesting that I give her any offspring you manage to father. I can make you too valuable to give to her experimentation, but I cannot extend that worth to infants. I would suggest you take steps to avoid that particular problem.”
The Lady Autumnsong was not interested in seeing his reaction to that bit of news, and Kaie was grateful. He never gave much thought to children. Outside of his impossible desire to marry Amorette, he figured everything after would happen the way Mother Lemme willed it. But the knowledge that the option was removed from him was like a blow to his gut. Another possibility, another future, gone. Suffocated before it drew its first breath.
“If you find the ‘nothing’ becomes something, be sure to inform me. You can speak to Josephine. She is my overseer for East Field, so she is always close. Always watching. Remember that.”
Part Two:
Fade Away
He cannot begin
Until all he knows
Is finished.
– Excerpt from “The Book of Endings”
Thirteen
Sparrowfall Dynasty 442
18th year After the Fall
He woke early. Before the sun. Like always. Amorette was curled up across from him, somehow managing to convey her dissatisfaction with nothing more than the curve of her sleeping back. That was like most mornings too.
He laid out breakfast. Salted pork and corn from the rations he picked up the day before. Sometimes Amorette brought home fruit and bread. He didn’t ask how she got it. He didn’t care. Next year he would add vegetables himself. Ren promised to help him prepare the soil outside their house for winter, so that in the spring he could plant a garden. It bothered him, yesterday, thinking of planning for another year of this life. Today was different.
His escort came as Amorette was waking, long before the girl would be making her appearance. He missed the girl with the long blond hair. He’d enjoyed trying to win her name with jokes and stories when she came for his house–mate. It was probably better that those games were finished. Even if he regretted the loss.
The stables weren’t close. The walk was longer than the one he took with the Lady Autumnsong. The work, right from the moment he walked in, was grueling. They put him to work cleaning stalls. He got there sweaty and tired. A few hours in and his arms shook. It was exhausting and repetitive, and Kaie lost himself in it. He only stopped when one of the other workers took the shovel from him and ordered him to lunch. He followed dutifully, only realizing how badly he hurt once he wasn’t moving.
The others were all clustered outside near the north fence, talking and laughing in animated tones. Kaie considered joining, but the thought of trying to fit in with the men struck him as overwhelming. So once he was outside he slipped off to the left and found some bales of hay to rest on. He was used to the empty feeling in his stomach now. The need to be away from the others seemed far more pressing than a useless attempt to fill it. Especially after he caught them all glancing his way and chuckling.
He dropped down onto the hay, wincing as his hands touched it. He looked down, surprised to discover them blistered and bloody. They started throbbing as if the pain had been waiting for him to notice it.
“You are allowed to ask for gloves, you know.”
Startled, Kaie looked up and couldn’t help grinning. Just a little.
“What are you doing here?”
The sister peered at him from underneath her hair as always, but he got the feeling she was grinning. “Following you. You never finished your story. I wanted to find out if Auren won Tiana back. Because that was riveting.”
He turned his scowl on her, for her obvious sarcasm. She laughed, loud and surprising from such a tiny girl, and dropped down on her knees in front of him. “Here, let me see.” She grabbed his hands, not at all gentle about it. Then, after another impressive hair flip, she dug into a bag at her hip. “You’re lucky I heard you were starting here today. It seemed a safe bet you’d manage to hurt yourself, so Vaughan gave me some stuff for it.”
His scowl deepened as she pulled out a small jar and a fist full of bandages. He tried to take his hands back but she wasn’t letting go. “So, you came to heal me up and make fun of me?”
She snorted. “No. I am enjoying it though. I don’t get to make fun of many people. Or heal. I think I’m going to do it more. The teasing. You don’t mind.” He cringed as she scooped some cream out of the jar and slopped it over his hands. It did feel better. “I always bring lunch out to the stables and a couple other places. It’s my favorite part of the day. This is my last stop, so I always stay for a while. I bet you’re happy about it. I know you missed me this morning.”
It didn’t seem like something he should admit to. “You hang out with these guys every day? That must be exciting.”
She tightened the bandage around his right hand – again not gently – and then tilted her head. “I eat with them most of the time. It’s one of the best parts of my day. I like it here, with all the open spaces for the horses. It’s my favorite place on the whole estate. I’d stay here forever, if they’d let me. You don’t like them?”
“Oh no. They’re fantastic. Making me shovel horse shit until my hands bleed, then laughing at me when I come to get lunch. I love them.”
She snorted again. Kaie decided he didn’t like the sound. “Poor boy. Your charming smile isn’t enough to win them over, so you figure the problem is them.”
“And what do you think the problem is?”
“Those five men are the only ones of twelve in the stable to survive the culling. They’re brilliant at their jobs, but they can’t manage like this for much longer and they know it. They need skilled help. And the Mistress gave them you. They don’t care how beautiful you are. You’re not what they need.”
“Well I didn’t ask to be sent here!”
She shrugged. “N
one of us did. You’re not the son of some tribal leader here. You’re not special just because you’re alive anymore.”
He was surprised. He never told anyone about who he used to be. “What, then? Be content with shoveling horse shit?”
She was quiet as she finished wrapping his left hand. Then she looked up at him, smiled, and flicked him in the center of his forehead. Hard. His hand flew out of her grip and to the injured spot. His hurt exclamation won him another of her loud, barking laughs. “Quit thinking being handsome and having good parents entitles you to something better than the rest of us. You’re the same now, Fairy Prince. Yes, be content with shoveling horse shit. For now. Until Stable Master Stephen sees how hard you work and trusts you with something else. Earn your own way.”
Kaie didn’t like any of what she was saying. He didn’t think he was better than the others. He was never the entitled brat she was painting him out to be. Maybe she was right about earning his way. But not the rest. He thought about being angry with her, but it seemed like too much effort. Instead he just sighed and leaned back against the hay, staring up at the cloudy sky. “If you’re done lecturing me, Vaughan’s sister, I think I’ll get back to what I was doing.”
“Right. The moping.” She climbed back to her feet, barely missing his head with one of her wild elbows. Then she was gone. He sighed and turned his attention back to the clouds.
His solitude was interrupted again just a few seconds later, when something heavy dropped into his lap. Gloves. Thick leather ones. They were worn, but in fine condition, and fit him like they were made with his hands in mind, bandages and all.
The girl’s expression, when he finally got around to looking up at her, was so curious it verged on uncomfortable. Like he was some sort of experiment she was conducting and his reaction was something to be cataloged and analyzed. She didn’t make any attempts to hide it either.
They were very fine gloves. “Thank you.”