He was going to let them fight? That wasn’t right. Physical violence was never the way to handle arguments. She stepped closer but stayed hidden behind the spruce trees. “She’s mine,” she heard one of the boys say. “He tried taking what belongs to me.”
“You boys have no business mating yet,” Styker said.
Lexi pressed her body into the base of the tree. Mating? Silas had used the same word with her once. She’d considered it caveman-ish and in some warped kind of way, it turned her on, but now Stryker used the same words. In this instance, it didn’t seem like coincidence.
“She isn’t going to commit to anyone when she’s this young anyway,” Stryker said. “Let’s go! Move it.”
The three of them ran down a trail toward the lake.
Lexi also found it odd the way some of the teens ran around camp. Walking worked perfectly well, but some of them literally ran. She watched them disappear, with Stryker running behind them. In fact, one of his shoes slipped off. She almost called after him, but if he didn’t mind running with only one shoe on, who was she to say he shouldn’t.
Lexi returned to the kitchen’s entrance and stepped inside. She heard Silas’ voice. He must be on the phone. She walked up the stairs. “I’m looking forward to it too,” she heard him say.
Then she heard a woman’s voice. He wasn’t alone.
His apartment door was open a crack. She only had to push on it, so she did.
At his desk, Silas looked at his laptop. He nodded, then peered at Lexi over the top of the screen. His intense look frightened her. Panic settled into her veins.
“Wednesday at eight,” Silas said. “Yeah, he’ll be there.”
“Can’t wait to meet you in person,” a woman’s voice sounded.
“Yeah, same here.” Silas looked at Lexi instead of the laptop. “Listen, I’ve got to go. See you tomorrow.”
Lexi wanted to scream. It could all be perfectly innocent, but she knew it wasn’t. Everything had been placed expertly in front of her to connect the dots. Her mind raced with speculation, then the facts, then what she knew to be true.
“See you tomorrow,” the woman’s voice said.
Silas powered off the laptop.
He stared at her and her heart sunk.
His expression said so many things, but mostly he looked like he was in pain, and that just pissed her off.
“That’s your mail-order Internet bride, isn’t it?” she asked the question, but it should have been a statement. “I’m not an idiot, you know. I can figure it out.”
He continued to stare at her with the occasional blink, which infuriated her more.
“We were supposed to meet. You were late. You purposely left your door open, so I’d see what’s going on.”
He pushed his chair back and stood.
“Well, go on, say it!” She knew the decibel level of her voice was too high, but she didn’t care.
“Blue, I wanted to tell you.”
“Stop calling me that!” she screamed. “You haven’t earned the right to call me anything other than my real name.”
“Okay, I get it. You’re angry.” He rounded the desk.
“Why?” she pleaded. Tears pricked her eyes.
Before she could back away, he enveloped her in his arms, and she wanted nothing more than to sink into his warmth. The safety of his arms felt like nothing she’d ever experienced before—like she was home. At least, it had felt that way, until now.
“We can’t be together, Lexi.”
“Quit calling me that,” she mumbled into his chest.
“You just told me not to call you Blue.”
“You’ve never called me Lexi.”
He put his chin on top of her head and held her closer.
She’d been backed into a corner. Her breathing came harder and she knew she had to fight or run because if she didn’t do something, she’d cry, and she’d be damned if she’d cry in front of him.
She pushed on his chest, then she hit it. She fisted her hands and thumped him on the chest; one, two, three times. “You’re a fucking coward.”
“I am.”
She pushed out of his reach and backed away, running the back of her legs into his sofa. “You know we should be together—you know we should. You know it and I know it.”
“We had an arrangement,” he said. “A temporary arrangement. You knew I planned to marry.”
“What is with you and getting married?” She swung around the sofa, needing to put distance between them. “This isn’t the seventeenth century, you know. If it’s just sex you need—I’m here to provide it for you.” She laughed. It was a sick menacing laugh and she didn’t even recognize it as her own.
“Blue, stop it.”
She threw up her arms. “I don’t understand you. Everything is right about us. Yes, I suppose a lot of our connection is sexual, but it’s more than that. You are like—like my…” She couldn’t hold back the tears, no matter how hard she tried. “You’re like my home. I’m at home with you. We’re supposed to be together.” She swiped at the tear leaking from her eye. “You’re mine.” She sniffed. “And I’m yours.”
He shook his head. “We can’t.”
Heat crept up her neck. She wanted to punch something. She wanted to punch Silas, but that would be like punching a cement wall.
“I gave you my heart. No…” The words came out choked. Her whole body shook. “I gave you my soul.”
He wasn’t unaffected by what she said. She knew he hurt as well, but it made no sense. He could have her. She was giving herself to him and yet, he rejected her.
She couldn’t stand to be near him a second longer. She swung around and ran through his apartment door and down the stairs.
“Blue, wait!”
She didn’t look back. Teens and some of the adults ran in camp—it was about time she did the same. Once outside, rain pelted her in the face. Unsure where to go, she headed into the woods. If she went to her cabin, Silas might follow her. She didn’t want to listen to anything he had to say. He rejected her. He chose a woman he hadn’t even met instead of her. There was nothing he could say to fix the betrayal and hurt. He’d carved a hole in her heart.
10
Silas had been a coward. Everything Blue said was true. He didn’t want to tell her the truth, so he’d arranged the Skype session with Ava at 11:00 p.m. knowing Blue would come looking for him when he didn’t show up at her cabin.
He couldn’t let things end this way. Everything in his gut said not to end the affair with Blue—everything in his soul told him she was the one. She was his True Mate.
But she wasn’t. There was no way she could be, because she was a human.
He had to explain to her, but what could he say? He followed her down the stairs and watched her run toward the lake.
Whatever explanation he conjured up wouldn’t be the real truth.
He stood at the doorway, uncertain what to do. Should he let her go, or come up with some kind of explanation?
She was much faster than he would have given her credit for. She was nearly to the lake and around the east edge, down the path where the werebears were allowed to go Native.
He didn’t imagine anyone was out in this rain, but he couldn’t take any chances.
Walking toward the lake, he gave himself time to think about what he’d say. He needed to come up with a plausible lie. He could refute her accusations of… we’re supposed to be together. A werebear was never supposed to be with a human, so her thinking was completely wrong. Maybe he’d come at it from that angle.
He kept on the path, although he should have caught up to her by now. He heard voices, or was it laughter?
Nearing the opposite side of the lake with sheets of rain hitting him in the face, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Was that Stryker? And two of the teens? Swimming in the rain?
“Stryker?” he called out. “What are you doing?”
Stryker swam toward shore. He stood and walked through the shallow end, co
mpletely naked. “Letting a couple of the cubs fight—while I supervised. They’re cooled off now, so I need to get their clothes.”
He sniffed the air and knew Blue was nearby. Panicked, he asked, “How long ago did you shift?”
“Just a few minutes, why?”
Silas swallowed hard. Fear grabbed hold. “Did you look or smell for humans before you did?”
“No. What human would be out in this storm?”
Silas swung around. He definitely smelled Blue and despite the downpour, he could hear her too. She was running.
“It’s Blue.”
“What?” asked Stryker.
“Blue. Lexi...she might have seen you. I smell her nearby.”
“Oh shit,” Stryker said. “What are you going to do?”
“I’ve got to find her.” He lifted his head and sniffed again. “She’s headed up the mountain.”
“How are you going to handle it?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe convince her she was seeing things.” He ran his hand across his bearded chin. “Hell, I don’t know.”
“We need to figure it out.”
“There is no ‘we’—I will handle it,” Silas growled.
“Okay,” Stryker said, but his brother didn’t seem convinced. “I’ll leave you to it then.”
“I’ve got to go.” Silas ran up the trail. Thunder sounded in the distance.
He ran for about ten minutes before he spotted her hunched in a ball at the base of a spruce tree. While it offered some shelter from the rain, she must be freezing.
Her rain soaked hair felt across her face, she peered up at him as he approached.
Scooping her up into his arms, he sat down and held her.
Her entire body shook, but from the cold or from crying he couldn’t be sure. “Shhh…” he murmured. “I’ve got you.”
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?”
His body instantly stiffened. He’d held a small modicum of hope that she hadn’t seen them, but she had. Now he wondered if she shivered from cold or fear.
At least, she allowed him to hold her, that had to be a positive. “Yes, I am. Don’t be frightened. I would never hurt you.”
She remained wrapped in a fetal position on his lap. “I am scared. I’d be lying if I said otherwise.”
He pushed the blue-streaked hair away from her eyes and urged her chin upward. “Look at me.”
After several seconds, she did. He stared into her pale blue eyes. His chest tightened. “You’re right, I did leave my door open so you’d find me talking to Ava. I’m sorry about that. But you’re right when you said I was a coward. I should have told you we can’t be together. So I’ll try to explain.” His heart beat so hard, it hurt. “She’s a werebear—like me. Humans and werebears don’t mix. Or at least they don’t very well.”
She blinked several times and continued to shiver.
“You should have never seen my brother and those cubs—boys.” He shook his head in frustration. “I would have never told you. I can’t. It’s not our way.”
“But you said humans and people like you…don’t mix.” Her warm breath puffed out against the cool moist air. “What does that mean?”
He swallowed hard. “I—Blue—I…I love you.” He closed his eyes and put his forehead to hers. “I love you and that’s why I have to let you go.”
“I don’t understand.” She moved her hands over his head, then stroked the beard stubble on his jaw. “All I know is that I love you too. So we should be together. You need to explain the not mixing part.”
“You don’t understand,” he said.
“Yes, I know I don’t. How can I? That’s why I’m asking you to explain. I’m a reasonable person. Well…seeing what I saw, would put most people into cardiac arrest or at least a panic attack. You have to give me some credit for not completely freaking out, even though I wanted to.”
“You’re right. I’m just—I’ve never…I’m not sure how to navigate this. Humans don’t know about us.”
She tipped her head back and widened her eyes. “Well, I would hope not. But you said w-w-wearbears and humans don’t mix very well. You didn’t say they never mix. What does that mean?”
He should have said they never mix, but he knew in some cases they did. He shouldn’t give her any hope. He had to think carefully about how to answer her.
“Wait!” Her eyes rounded. “What if I’m pregnant?”
“You’re not,” he said. “I always wore a condom.”
“I know, but nothing is 100% effective. What happens if I’m pregnant?”
Her asking that question was the perfect lead in to why they couldn’t be together. “If you are pregnant, then our child would be like me. They’d be able to shift into a bear, if they wanted.”
“Oh my god.” She stared straight ahead, no longer looking into his eyes.
“Exactly.” Maybe some small part of him believed it could work with Blue, but he knew better and now he had to convince her as well. “Now you understand. Humans have a time of it raising humans. Can you imagine a human raising werebear cubs?”
Her whole body shook. “That’s why you have the camp, isn’t it? It’s for teens, but it’s more specifically for wearbear teens—to help them.”
“Yes.” He nodded.
She snuggled in closer to him but tipped her head back. Her eyes blinked several times before she said, “So you mean to tell me that every single one of those w-wearbear kids has a mother and father like you?”
“Most likely, yes.”
“But it’s not impossible for me to have a child with you, right? You said if I did somehow manage to get pregnant that the child would be like you.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Then it’s not impossible.” She readjusted her body in his lap. Stroking her hands over his head, she said, “We aren’t impossible.”
“Blue, I would never want you to have a life like this, with me. I’m a bear.”
“You said for me to not be frightened. You said you’d never hurt me. Are you saying that’s not true--that you lied? That I should be scared?”
“No!” he growled. “Of course not. I’m telling you the truth.”
“Then tell me more truths. Like the fact that humans and w-wearbears can be together.”
“You can’t even say wearbears without stumbling over the word, how can you want to be with one?”
“Yes, seeing the shift from bears into humans frightened me, but at the same time, I knew. I knew you were one of them, and while I wouldn’t choose to fall in love with one of your kind, I already have… and I want us to be together.”
“Well, that’s saying it pretty plainly, isn’t it?”
“We are speaking in truths here, are we not?”
“We are, but I can’t help what I am.” The rain continued to fall but he shielded her from the raindrops as much as he could.
“I never asked you to be anything different. I wouldn’t want you any other way except what you are. I just want to know what it’s like, if we were to get married and have children?”
“Get married?”
“Yes, you said you wanted to get married. Isn’t that why you are bringing a wearbear woman up here? Is that what you call them?”
In a bizarre kind of way, he wanted to laugh. “We are going to have to work on your terminology. We actually call a woman werebear a she-bear.”
“Well, whatever, you can’t possibly have her come now.”
“She is already on her way.”
“Well, she’s going to have to turn around and fly right back to wherever it is she came from because you’re already taken.”
Was he already taken? He knew in his heart, he already was, and it would never be fair to Ava. He’d have to set things right with her because he’d never be a good mate to her. But first, he had this woman in his lap, whom he loved, and their life would never be easy. “Blue, it’s not that simple.”
“It is that simple. You said you loved me. I l
ove you too. And I know we can get through this. Together we can get through anything.” She stroked his beard.
“This isn’t something you get through, this is a lifestyle no human would ever want to be part of.”
Blue crawled out of his arms and stood over him. “Do it.”
He knew what she meant. There was no point in trying to convince her she was crazy. He pulled off his tee shirt and untied his shoes, stripped out of his jeans and boxers. He stood naked before her with sheets of rain pummeling his body. “Are you sure you want me to do this?”
“A-are you going to feel differently about me in your bear form? Will you want to eat me, instead of love me?”
“Blue…” He reached out for her. “My bear loves you too. I have control. Don’t worry.”
They held hands, standing apart, but still together. He stared down at her, sure his eyes were turning golden. Both of their hands linked with heat and devotion, and determination. Then it struck him—they could be one—a team—as long as they stood together. The rain pounded on them, but together, steadfast and strong, they could overcome anything.
Even a world where werebears and humans didn’t marry.
She pulled her hands from his, crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him with defiance in her eyes. “As long as you love me, I’m not afraid.”
He heard the question in her voice and kissed her, putting all his feelings—human and bear—that he couldn’t say or didn’t have words for behind the kiss.
She nodded. “Go ahead.”
He shifted.
His body grew hair and muscle and bulk. He crouched down on all fours and stood before her as a bear.
Thunder boomed in the distance.
Blue flinched.
He growled, fully expecting her to run.
But she didn’t.
“I—I love you, Silas…all of you, the b-bear, and the human.” She took a tentative step toward him before putting her hand on his shoulder. “You’re so soft and warm. You’re chocolatey brown, just like your eyes.” Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his fur. “Don’t push me away. We’re meant to be together.”
The tightness in his chest eased. He breathed freely, like he’d never breathed before. The hurt and emptiness left his body. He was at ease. He was complete.
Beauty and the Bear: Denali Den #1 (Alaskan Den Men) Page 6