“She’s only two, Ty…I mean, Josh,” Nikki corrected herself and felt glad at the obvious jab she had just taken at him. “She doesn’t understand about why she’s never had a father here before.” Nikki rubbed her temples, willing this whole situation to go away. “You can come by tomorrow afternoon and spend some time with her if you’d like. She naps from one to three. You can come by after that.”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?” she asked incredulously.
“I mean, I will be here in the morning and I am spending the day with her,” he said firmly.
“Look, I don’t know who you think you are coming in here at this hour and throwing demands at me, but that’s not going to fly! This is my home, and Ellie is my daughter and…”
“Our daughter,” he corrected and Nikki saw red.
“You have no claim to her! Your name isn’t even on her birth certificate. Either you come when I say it’s okay, or you won’t see her at all.” She jumped up from the couch and put some space between them.
Rising from the sofa, Josh walked slowly toward her. When he was scant inches from her, he stopped and looked hard into her wide blue eyes, searching them for something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “She’s beautiful, Nicole. Please let me spend the day with her. I’ve missed so much already.” His words were spoken so softly, so sincerely, and his breath on her cheek felt so wonderful that Nikki had no choice but to concede. “I know that I don’t deserve your kindness after what I put you through, but please…” His words trailed off with a sigh as his eyes continued to soak up the sight of the woman standing in front of him.
“You can come by around ten,” she said with resignation. “That will give us time to get up and get dressed before you arrive.” She was having a hard time keeping herself from swaying toward his body. She could feel his heat. Smell his cologne. And she just wanted to melt into him. For years she had dreamed about this moment, but nothing could have prepared her for the reality of it. He was here, he was close and Nikki wanted to touch him so badly that her fingers itched.
All of the anger that she felt toward him moments ago vanished, and in its place was remembrance. She remembered their time together and how his hands had felt on her body; how his mouth had felt on hers. She longed to feel all those things again. Meeting his gaze, she studied his features. The strong line of his jaw, the full, soft lips, and his eyes…
As if battling his own demons, Joshua’s eyes softened. His hands reached up and cupped Nikki’s face. “Thank you.”
Those two simple words reached Nikki’s heart like no others. She merely nodded in response to him, but couldn’t control her body’s response to his nearness. Her skin tingled, her nipples hardened beneath her robe and her tongue darted out to lick her lips.
Joshua’s eyes honed in on that action, and he wanted to lean forward and taste them for himself but was uncertain if he would be able to stop at one taste. His thumbs traced the fullness of her lower lip, and he was mesmerized by their softness. Seeing Nicole tonight had been like a hammer to his gut. Finding out that she had had his baby had turned him inside out. It may have been three years, but he could still vividly remember what she felt like.
If he were a different kind of man, he would take advantage of this situation and claim her as his right now. That’s what his body was screaming at him to do. But he would respect her at all costs. He had already changed the course of her life by his own selfish behavior, and he was going to do all that he could to rectify that. Josh knew that he would take care of her and Ellie and be a part of their lives now no matter what. He had a lot of time to make up for, and it had to start immediately.
Nikki stood there in silent hope that he would kiss her. It had been so long, and she needed to feel his lips against hers, as if she needed the confirmation that he was real. Sensing his uncertainty, she boldly shifted closer to him, and then they were lost. His mouth came down softly on hers; a gentle brushing. Once; twice. With her face still cradled in his hands, Nikki leaned into Josh and sighed. His kiss was everything she had remembered and yearned for.
Softly, he slanted his mouth over hers again and again, reigning in his self-control so that he didn’t scare her off. Truth be known, the intensity of what he was feeling right now was scaring him. When his tongue teased at her full bottom lip, she opened for him, and he groaned; it was sweeter than his dreams, hotter than his fantasies. Forcing his brain to function, Josh reluctantly pulled away. Nikki stared up at him with dazed eyes that were clouded with passion.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered before planting a light kiss on her forehead and heading for the front door.
She watched his retreat and stood in the middle of her living room long after the front door had closed. All hope for sleep that night had left with Josh’s kiss.
****
The next morning, Nikki was a bundle of nerves as she and Ellie went through their morning routine. After a light breakfast, they went upstairs to get dressed. Because she hadn’t slept a wink after Josh left, Nikki had Ellie bring some toys into the bathroom so that she could take a hot shower to wake herself up.
The water stung her weary body, and as she lathered up with her favorite lavender body wash, several scenarios played through her mind about how the day was going to go. In the first one, Josh would come over, play awkwardly with Ellie for a little while and be gone by lunch. If Denise’s description of Josh were true, this would be the most likely scenario. In the next one, he hung around all day, and by the end of it he would gently inform Nikki that fatherhood just wasn’t for him and say goodbye. While not ideal, it would cause the least bit of disruption in her life.
Unfortunately, there was a third scenario that was always a possibility. Josh would arrive looking ruggedly handsome and smelling absolutely delicious. He’d have flowers in one hand for Nikki and a teddy bear in the other for Ellie. He’d be equally attentive to them both, and Ellie would simply fall in love with him and find it easy to call him daddy. They’d spend the day together as a family. And then begin planning the rest of their lives.
“I have got to stop watching so many romantic movies,” she muttered softly. Sighing at the ridiculous direction of her thoughts, Nikki finished rinsing her hair and body and then switched the water over to cold on full blast to give herself a final jolt. Letting out a tiny screech, she counted to ten and shut the water off. Ellie’s laughter greeter her in the silence of the shower stall.
“You’re funny, mommy,” Ellie giggled. Nikki peaked her head out from behind the shower door and smiled at her daughter. “Did the water tickle you?”
“Yes it did, princess. Mommy needed a good, cold tickle to wake her up.” That was an understatement. “We’re going to have some company in a little while.”
Ellie’s eyes lit up. “Uncle David?”
It suddenly occurred to Nikki that David was now truly Ellie’s uncle. A thought that she knew would thrill him to death. “No, not Uncle David, Sweetheart. Remember Joshua who was here last night?” Ellie nodded. “Well, he’s coming back over to visit with us.”
“Why?” Ellie frowned. While she knew her daughter’s response was such because David was the only other man who ever came to visit, and the thought of another man being in their house was probably going to take some getting used to.
“Well, he really liked meeting you last night and wanted to come over and spend some time with you today. Won’t that be fun?” She knew that for this meeting to be successful, she was going to have to be as enthusiastic as she could since Ellie took most of her cues from her. She forced a cheeriness to her voice that she didn’t quite feel. “We’ll play, and you can show Joshua all of your toys, and maybe he’ll even read you a story!”
“Kay,” she said with some disinterest.
By this time, Nikki was dried off and dressed in faded blue jeans and a white t-shirt. She wanted to make sure that it didn’t look like she was trying to impress him. It was a Saturday
morning, and she would have no reason to be all glammed up. Using her usual minimal amount of makeup, she checked her reflection one last time before she picked up her wet towel and hung it over the shower door.
“Come on, Baby. Josh will be here soon. Let’s get you dressed.” Ellie followed. It was more important that Ellie look nice for her first real visit with Josh. After much deliberation – two years olds certainly had their opinions – it was decided that Ellie would wear navy blue leggings with a matching top that had pink and white lace flowers on it. Finishing off the ensemble with lace ankle socks, the child declared herself ready.
Her nerves were a wreck, and it was hard to keep her anxiety from her daughter. Walking into the kitchen, she picked up the phone and called Denise.
“Are you okay? How did everything go last night?”
Nikki relayed most of what had gone on, deciding to leave out the kiss that she and Josh had shared. “He’s coming over this morning to spend time with Ellie.” She paused. “Dee, I’m scared. What if he wants to be a part of Ellie’s life? How am I going to share my daughter with him after all this time?”
“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. It’s only natural for him to be curious about Ellie; he’s just found out that he’s a dad. Knowing him like I do, I just don’t see him wanting to get all that involved. I’m sorry. I know that sounds harsh, and I hate that Ellie even has to go through this, but I want you to be prepared.”
“It’s all right; she’ll get over it. I just don’t know if I will.”
“I still can’t believe that Josh is Ellie’s father.”
“You and me both.” Nikki looked at the clock and grimaced. “He’s going to be here any minute. I better go.”
“David and I can drive over and act as buffers if you’d like.”
“No,” she said sadly. “But thank you. I think that this is something that we need to work out ourselves.”
“Call me later, okay?”
She agreed and hung up and went to see what Ellie was doing. She found the toddler playing with one of her dolls and humming softly to herself. She was so blessed. For all of their struggles, she and her daughter had made a nice life for themselves. The thought of it all being turned upside down was eating Nikki up inside.
At exactly ten o’clock, the doorbell rang. Why hadn’t she taken Denise up on her offer to come and act as a buffer? Ellie looked up at her mother expectantly, gently dropping her baby doll on the floor. Nikki stood and took her hand and together they walked to the door. She wasn’t sure which of them seemed more apprehensive. Saying a silent prayer that scenario number one would play out and that Josh would be out of there quickly, she opened the door.
“Good morning,” he said and Nikki nearly fell back in a dead faint at the sight of him. He was freshly shaven and his hair was still a little damp from a shower, but his arms were bursting at the seams with gifts for his daughter. “May I come in, Nicole? This stuff is kind of heavy.”
Waking herself from her trance, Nikki picked up Ellie and stepped back so that Josh could come in. He strode to the living room and was placing all of the packages down when they joined him. He stood straight and looked down at Ellie, smiling. “Good morning, princess,” he said softly, crouching down to be eye level with her. “How are you today?”
Ellie looked up at Nikki and smiled. “He called me princess just like you do, mommy!”
“He sure did! Why don’t you go over and say hello. It looks like he’s got some things here for you.”
“For me?” she asked with wonder. “These are for me, Joshwa?” The way she pronounced his name made him smile, but he found himself longing to hear his daughter call him something else.
“Yes, there are presents in all of these bags for you. Would you like to open one?” Ellie looked hesitantly at her mother for approval. Nikki nodded.
“Yes, sir,” the girl said shyly.
The first thing Josh handed her was a giant pink teddy bear, and Nikki felt herself sway slightly before sitting down on the sofa to oversee the scene before her. Ellie hugged the bear to herself and nearly fell over backwards because it was as big as she was.
“What do you say, Ellie?” Nikki prompted. The child looked at her quickly before turning her bright eyes toward Joshua.
“Thank you, Joshwa,” she smiled and anxiously began scanning the room for her next present. Before things went any further, Nikki knew that it was time to say out loud what she was dreading the most.
With her heart in her throat, she said, “Before you open anything else, El, I want you to come and sit with me for a minute, okay?” Ellie nodded and skipped over and hopped into her lap. Nikki looked nervously over at Josh who had seated himself at the opposite end of the sofa. His eyes met hers, and Nikki forced herself to look away before she got sucked into those green depths again.
“Joshua came here today to give you these presents because he thinks that you’re a very special little girl,” Nikki began. Ellie looked over at Josh and smiled. “Ellie, Joshua is your daddy.” She held her breath and waited for her daughter’s response. How much of this could a toddler really understand?
“I have a daddy?” Ellie asked in a hushed tone full of awe.
“Yes, princess,” Josh said softly. “You have a daddy.” He sat back nervously, his hands tightly clasped together in front of him as he wondered if his daughter would accept this situation and accept him into her young life.
Ellie sat there and pondered this news for what seemed like an eternity. She stared hard at Joshua and then at Nikki before speaking. “My friend Sam has a daddy,” she stated flatly before climbing off Nikki’s lap. She looked undecided about what she would do next, and Josh found himself holding his breath. Finally, she walked over to him and took his large hand in her tiny one. “Can I open another present, Daddy?”
In that moment, Joshua lost his heart.
****
The morning flew by and was consumed with opening gifts, reading books and introducing Josh to every toy in Ellie’s toy box. Nikki stayed in the background as much as possible because she knew that it was important for Ellie to begin to bond with her father and want to spend time with him without Nikki tagging along. As much as the thought of sharing her daughter pained her, Nikki knew that there was nothing she could do about it. It wasn’t like they were going to be a real family now that Josh had come back into her life. Ellie was going to have to get used to dividing her time between the two of them. And so was Nikki. For so long it had been just the two of them and she liked it that way. Having to deal with Josh now was going to take some major adjusting.
Deciding to find something to occupy her time, Nikki went up to her bedroom and sat at her desk and worked on grading some of her student’s papers. Second graders had wild imaginations, she thought to herself, as she read over some of their short stories that she had assigned to them last week. She was chuckling softly when she heard Josh clear his throat from behind her.
Nikki turned and saw him standing in her bedroom doorway and felt her pulse begin to race. Tyler. It was so hard to look at this man who had been the object of all her dreams and fantasies and accept that his real name was Joshua. If they made love, would she call him by the right name? Get a grip, Nicole, her conscience warned her. There will no rekindling of this romance. He is here to do right by his daughter and that has nothing to do with you. Now if only her hormones would get on track with it.
“How was the tea party?” She asked lightly as she put her red pen down and pushed the school work aside. She rose from the chair and casually faced him, hoping that he couldn’t see the way that her pulse was racing. His eyes openly appraised her and Nikki crossed an arm across her chest and placed a hand over her throat in an attempt to protect and cover herself.
“I think next time I’ll opt to sit on the floor rather than attempting to balance myself on one of those tiny chairs,” he laughed. It was a deep, rich, masculine laugh and seemed to touch every inch of Nikki’s body.
Down girl.
“It’s just about noon, and I was thinking about lunch. What time does Ellie usually eat?”
“She’s normally eaten by now, but you’ve kept her so thoroughly entertained; I can’t believe she hasn’t asked to eat.”
“Where would you like to go?” he asked casually, stepping into her room.
The space seemed to shrink. His casual tan slacks and navy polo shirt fit him to perfection, and yet all Nikki wanted to do was have him take them off. Slowly. For her. For so long she had wanted this man in her bedroom, and now that he was here, it was terrifying. Seeing him standing next to her bed made her mind scream out thoughts of their night together. Shaking her head clear of those erotic images, she remembered his question. “Go? What do you mean?
“I thought I’d take you and Ellie out for lunch.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary. I have plenty of stuff here to make us lunch. You don’t need to take us out.” Her voice shook slightly and she hoped that he didn’t notice. She nervously began to rattle off a list of lunch options she had before he interrupted.
“I know that I don’t need to, Nicole; I want to. Come on, what does Ellie like to eat?” He stepped closer, and she took a step back; hitting the back of her legs against her desk.
“She’s not really fussy,” she said quickly, hoping that he wouldn’t come any closer. Her senses couldn’t take much more. After their kiss last night, she had been edgy. It had been too long since she’d been with a man, and now he had awakened the beast inside of her, so to speak. “Why don’t the two of you go out together? You know, take some time to get to know each other without me tagging along.” It was a logical suggestion, and it was merely what she had been telling herself needed to happen.
Baby, I'm Yours (Life, Love and Babies) Page 3