Scratch that, he needed to be with Nicole and Ellie. He wanted to be with them. He had to be back in Wilmington, dammit. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Nicole was just pushing her food around on her plate and not really eating. Placing his fork down on the table, he wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin and turned to her.
“I’m really sorry, Nicole. I tried to find a way out of having to go, but I need to be the one there to oversee the situation.”
Her wide blue eyes stared back at him, and he could see the walls that he had been trying to pull down, slowly build right back up.
“It’s not a big deal. Really. Don’t give it another thought.” Her words were very clear and concise, but were spoken very softly. “If you could, before you go, please move Ellie’s car seat from your car to David’s for me.”
He wasn’t sure what he expected her to say, but her quiet acceptance of the situation hurt more than if she’d yelled at him. “No problem.” Neither noticed that the conversation around them had stopped. Even Ellie was quiet; as if sensing that the conversation going on between her parents was important.
After a brief spell of silence, Laura cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. “So, Nikki, I hear that your parents are in Florida and that you’re going to visit them next weekend. Do you see them often?”
Josh excused himself and rose from the table. Nikki imagined that he was going to go and pack. “I’ve only been out there once since Ellie was born. Travelling with a baby was quite an experience.” She took a sip of her own orange juice before going on. It was good to be reminded of all of the things that she had to look forward to this week and not on what she was losing out on. “My folks have come to visit several times, however, so that Ellie could get to know them. I’m really looking forward to this trip. Ellie’s very excited about going a plane, right?” she asked her daughter.
“I’m going to fly in the sky!” Ellie exclaimed, and everyone laughed at her excitement. “Grandma and grandpa are going to take me to see the fishies!”
“That’s right, El. We’re going to go to Sea World.”
Ellie talked about how excited she was to see all of the fish while everyone finished their breakfast. And once breakfast was over and cleaned up, preparations for departure began. Josh never returned to the breakfast table, and Nikki tried not to dwell on it. She let Ellie go and play outside with Laura and Tyler while she packed. The look on the older couple’s faces showed their appreciation for the extra time with their grandchild.
Upstairs, Nikki threw her few personal belongings into her bag and then went to retrieve Ellie’s things. The door to Josh’s room was closed and for that she was grateful. She’d hate for him to see the longing and disappointment in her eyes that their time together was coming to an end.
It wasn’t fair! She cried inwardly. Why did he have to show up again in her life and be wonderful and attentive and have to live so far away? She couldn’t blame him for having to leave; after all, he ran a huge business and it would be incredibly selfish of her to make demands on his time. They didn’t have that kind of relationship and she didn’t have the right. It wasn’t as if he were leaving her and Ellie stranded someplace; David and Denise were right here, as they always were, and more than willing to help out.
Quietly, Nikki made up Ellie’s princess bed and straightened the room up. “You don’t need to do that.” Josh. “My mother has a housekeeper who does this sort of thing for her.”
“I don’t mind. I’m used to doing it myself.” She kept her back to him and continued putting books on shelves and toys in the toy box. On the plush carpeting, she never heard him walk toward her. It wasn’t until she straightened and they nearly collided that she saw how close he was.
“I really am sorry about having to leave, Nicole,” he said solemnly.
“I’ve already told you that it’s not a big deal,” she lied. “David and Denise live close by and it just makes sense for them to be the ones to drive us anyhow. I hate being an inconvenience.”
Josh’s patience snapped. “Dammit, Nicole! You are not an inconvenience! I wanted to be here with you this weekend. I wanted to be the one to drive you here, and I wanted to be the one to bring you home. I hate that I have to head back to Wilmington, but it can’t be helped. Can’t you understand that?”
Nikki’s eyes went wide. She tried to blink back the tears she felt forming. “I do understand. I know that you wanted this time with Ellie, and with my taking her out of town next weekend, you’re missing out. I get it. I don’t want you to worry about us. Ellie will be fine with driving home with her Uncle David.” She was trying to put an emphasis on Josh’s relationship with Ellie and not make this about herself. She wasn’t prepared to deal with the fact that after all these years, she was still hopelessly in love with him and felt as if she was being deserted all over again.
Knowing full-well what she was trying to do, Josh reached up and cupped her face in his hands. It was time to put it all out there. “Yes, I’m disappointed about missing out on time with Ellie, but I am equally disappointed about missing time with you, too.” His mouth slowly descended on hers; giving her ample time to move away. She didn’t.
As his lips touched hers, Nikki reached out and clutched at the front of his black polo shirt, pulling him closer to him. Mouths opened, tongues mated, and Josh backed her up against the nearest flat surface. Nikki needed to breathe, but was desperate to not break contact with him. She was going to have to go for far too long before feeling him like this again, and now she was greedy; greedy for his kiss, his touch, any scrap of attention he would throw her way. She wasn’t disillusioned enough to think that he felt the same for her as she did for him; that would be asking far too much, too soon. But she was sure that there was still an undeniable physical attraction to one another. There had been no discussion of a future together except for visitation with Ellie. He never even hinted about being with her and making a family together.
Josh pressed closer and the proof of his arousal only confirmed the physical attraction. His mouth left hers and hungrily worked down the slim column of her throat. She arched her head back, grinding it against the wall to give him better access. His mouth felt glorious on her. His hands roamed up and down her sides, gently teasing the undersides of her breasts with a fleeting touch. Releasing his shirt, she raked her fingers up through his hair before sinking in to hold him to her.
“Nikki? Are you almost ready? David’s loading up the car!” Denise called from the end of the hall.
Slowly breaking their contact, Josh moved away. “So much for self-control,” he said thickly as he openly appraised her swollen lips and passion filled eyes. Without another word, he turned and picked up all of their bags and left the room, giving her time to compose herself before facing everyone. Luckily for him, the bags could camouflage the arousal that was straining against his khakis.
Denise gave him a very knowing smile as he walked past her. She watched him go down the stairs and out the front door. For a brief moment she considered walking down the hall and checking on her friend, but then thought better of it. Making a mental note to set up a girl’s night for the two of them so that they could sit and talk about this.
Soon.
****
Tuesday night Denise arrived at Nikki’s with a bag of takeout and a bottle of wine. Before Nikki could even say hello, Denise was talking. “Okay, I have been going out of my mind with worry for you, and I have left explicit instructions with David to not call or bother be unless he is dead or dying.” Placing the bag of food on the kitchen counter, she turned and faced Nikki. “Well?”
“Worried about what, exactly?”
“Don’t give me any of that!” Denise snapped as she reached for plates and glasses and began setting the table. She had been at Nikki’s so many times that it was practically her home away from home. “I’m talking about you and Josh. What’s going on?” As if on cue, the phone rang. “Don’t you dare answer that!”
“Can we wait to discuss this until after Ellie’s asleep? It’s a little bit complicated.”
“Fine, but I’m telling you now, that I am not leaving here until I am one hundred percent certain that you’re okay with all of this.”
“All of what?” Nikki asked with frustration. “You know what? Never mind. After Ellie’s asleep we’ll talk.”
“I brought an overnight bag,” Denise said as she finished setting the table. Nikki gave her a bland look. “Just saying.”
Moments later, Nikki heard Ellie say good night to Josh and then walked over and handed the phone to her. “Thank you, baby,” she said, taking the phone from her hand; anxious to hear Josh’s voice. “Hi,” she said a little breathlessly.
“Hi.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “I hear Denise is there for dinner so I won’t keep you.” His tone was as soft as a caress.
Nikki turned and saw Denise leading Ellie up the stairs as the child called out a sweet little good night. Nikki smiled and turned her attention back to the man on the phone. “Actually, Denise is taking Ellie up and putting her to bed. I fed her earlier so that we could have a girl’s night.”
“A girl’s night, huh? On a Tuesday?”
“Is there a wrong night to have a girl’s night?”
Josh chuckled. “Honestly, I wouldn’t know. Any particular reason for said girl’s night?”
“None that I can think of,” she lied. “I’m just glad to not have to cook. Denise brought dinner with her.”
“Chinese?”
“What do you think?” she said with a smile in her voice.
“Listen, Nicole, I was wondering,” he began nervously, “I have a meeting in Raleigh on Thursday, and I thought that maybe I could come and take you and Ellie to dinner. Would that be all right?”
Her heart raced. She hadn’t planned on seeing him before the wedding, so this was an unexpected surprise. “That sounds nice. I know Ellie will be thrilled.”
“And what about Ellie’s mother? Will she be thrilled?” he asked, his tone deep and mesmerizing.
“I think she most definitely will be.” She barely recognized her own voice; it was sexy and teasing and so not the way she normally talked to anyone.
“Will be?” he teased right back.
“Am,” she corrected.
“Good,” he said, and Nikki could almost feel the tension leaving his body. “I was thinking that maybe I could drive you to the airport Friday morning. What time is your flight?”
“We have a ten o’clock flight out of RDU, so we’ll need to be there around eight.”
Josh liked the way that she hadn’t even questioned the fact that he was essentially inviting himself to spend the night. “That sounds good. Are you sure you don’t mind? I mean, I don’t know who was planning on taking you.”
“Your brother was, actually. He was going to go into work late so I’m sure he won’t mind not having to do that.”
“I can call him, if you’d like.”
“Not necessary. Denise is here, so I’ll just let her know to tell him.” They were silent for a moment. “How about instead of going out for dinner, we stay in. I’ll cook and this way we can get Ellie to bed on time, and it won’t be such a chore to get her up before dawn Friday morning.”
“That sounds good.” His deep timbered voice gave her chills and she could almost feel his breath on her skin. “I’ll see you Thursday.”
Nikki hung up the phone on a dreamy sigh.
“This is what I was afraid of,” Denise said as she breezed past Nikki and began doling out food.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“The hushed tones, the longing sigh as you hung up the phone…admit it, Nik; you’re still in love with Josh.”
“Were you spying on me? How long were you standing there?” Nikki asked with a touch of annoyance at her friend’s observation.
“No, I wasn’t spying. I happened to come down the stairs as you were hanging up the phone. Truth be told,” she said lightly as she sat herself down at Nikki’s kitchen table, “I didn’t hear what you said, just the way that you said it.”
Nikki grabbed her plate and sank down into a chair. “Can we even say that I’m still in love with him? I mean…I barely know him. We had one night together. Who falls in love after one night?” She was speaking way too fast and could feel Denise’s eyes boring into her. She sighed. “Would it be so horrible if I was?” It seemed to take forever for her to get the words out because she was terrified of the answer she would get.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “David thinks…” Denise stopped short, unwilling to finish her statement.
“David thinks what?” Nikki demanded. Denise put a forkful of Hunan beef in her mouth and refused to answer. “David thinks what, Denise?” Still no response. “You’ll have to come up for air sometime.”
Swallowing, Denise placed her fork down and took a deep breath. Her hazel eyes were full of compassion. “Saturday night after you and Ellie went to bed, Joshua came back downstairs to hang out with everyone.” Nikki nodded in remembrance. “Well, first his parents started talking about how wonderful you are and how much they already adore Ellie.” She paused and took a sip of her wine. “We talked about Ellie for a while; since David and I have known her since she was born, it was easy to fill in a lot of the gaps for them.”
Nikki was sure that this was all leading somewhere, she just wished it would get there soon. “And?”
“Then they asked him what his plans were where the two of you were concerned.” She took another forkful of food. “We could tell that he wasn’t ready to talk about it, but David asked him to go outside with him so that they could talk without an audience.”
“Oh for crying out loud, Dee, get to the point!”
Huffing spitefully, Denise shoved another forkful of food into her mouth and chewed it slowly. Sometime later, she continued. “David asked Josh about his intentions.”
“His intentions? Nikki parroted. “When did David become my father?”
Annoyance covered Denise’s face. “David is concerned for both you and Ellie, and knowing his brother like he does, he wanted to make sure that Josh wasn’t just killing time here; that he was honestly interested in being a father and playing an active part in Ellie’s life.”
Nikki’s heart was racing and she felt the sickening sheen of perspiration begin to cover her skin. She desperately wanted to know the answer, but at the same time, dreaded it. What if it wasn’t what she wanted to hear? What if Josh didn’t see himself in the role of father for the long haul? Nervously, she pulled at the collar of her shirt to get some cool air on her clammy skin. Swallowing hard, she looked at Denise expectantly.
“Nik, he’s crazy about Ellie,” Denise said calmly. “It kills him that he lives so far away from her. He questioned David about every minute of Ellie’s life until he found out about her. It was very sweet.”
Letting out a long sigh of relief, Nikki took a sip of her wine and relaxed a little in her seat. “So he’s going to be involved in her life. That’s good. That’s a good thing. Right?”
“It seems that way. How do you feel about it?”
Her Moo Shu pork was getting pushed around on the plate while she contemplated her answer. Forcing herself to look up, she said, “I’m relieved, actually. I would have hated it for him to start this relationship with Ellie and then disappear. It would crush her.”
“Yes, yes; I’m sure it’s all good for Ellie. But what about you?”
“Me? I think it’s only fair that he be a part of his daughter’s life. If I had been able to track him down sooner, I would hav
e so that he wouldn’t have missed any part of her life.”
“Okay, thank you for the politically correct answer. The Miss America judges have marked down your score.” Denise rolled her eyes in exasperation. “How do you feel about Josh? About you and Josh specifically? I know what we all saw this weekend, and let me tell you, I hope that David and I have that much heat between us on our honeymoon!”
“Oh, stop it! Don’t be ridiculous. I haven’t seen him in three years. For heaven’s sake, I haven’t even been with any man in three years.” She took another sip of wine. “So maybe there’s still a little…lust there. It’s no big deal. I can handle it.”
“Oh, come on, Nikki; I know you better than that. Are you trying to tell me that nothing happened that night even with the slinky nightie I left for you?”
“Did I forget to thank you for that?” Nikki asked sarcastically. They broke into a fit of giggles and then Nikki went on to tell Denise all about their night – from being woken up with Ellie to finding herself asleep in Josh’s arms and nearly making love with him before being interrupted by their daughter.
“Wow,” Denise hissed. “No wonder you were both out of sorts at breakfast.
“Oh, my gosh. Was it that obvious?”
“Probably only to me and David because we know you both so well. The Masterson’s were so over the moon with Ellie that they probably wouldn’t have noticed if you and Josh were consuming each other under the dining room table.”
Nikki let out a laugh at the image. “They really were excited about her, weren’t they?”
“Absolutely. And if you weren’t my best friend, I’d be tempted to be jealous that you gave my future in-laws their first grandchild. I was hoping for that honor.”
“Dee, I am so sorry that all of this happened right before your wedding. The last thing that I wanted was to take any of the focus off of you. This whole situation has taken on a life of its own and don’t know how to tone it down or reign it back in.”
Baby, I'm Yours (Life, Love and Babies) Page 8