Well, how was she supposed to respond to that? Given the choice, she would have mumbled something vapid and moved away. But she couldn’t go anywhere. All she could do was cling to the tree, study his boots and tell herself he couldn’t possibly be implying he was planning to prolong their acquaintance.
And yet, the way he kept looking at her...
‘And while we’re about it, I have something else to confess, too. I deliberately got you alone, so that I could talk to you freely. For I have something I particularly wanted to ask you.’
‘Oh?’ She winced. How many times had she said that this afternoon? He must be starting to think she was a complete ninny.
‘Yes. You said something about not being in London long and having plans. I know you do not want your cousins to know about these plans. But perhaps you might feel you could confide in me?’
‘Why would I want to do that?’
‘I may be able to help you.’
‘I doubt that very much.’
‘You won’t know unless you tell me.’
‘Why would you even want to help me? I am a complete stranger to you.’
‘And yet something about you calls to me,’ he said, giving her a look that was unlike anything she’d ever seen in a man’s eyes before.
‘You do not appear to have anyone to help you. You need...a friend.’
Suddenly everything fell into place with sickening disappointment. She couldn’t bear to think Lord Havelock was the kind of man who preyed on defenceless females. When he’d taken that robber boy under his wing, she even started to think that...to think that...
Oh, how could she have been so naïve?
‘I do not want the kind of friendship you are offering me,’ she snapped. ‘Poor I may be, but I would never, ever...’
His brows snapped down. ‘Nor would I, ever, make a gently bred girl the kind of offer you seem to think I’m about to make. What kind of man do you think I am?’
She flushed. Felt her insides skid about as much as when she’d tried to walk a straight path on the ice. ‘I...I don’t know what kind of man you are, that’s just the point. I just cannot see why you should concern yourself over someone like me. I’m nobody. And it’s not as if I’m even pretty. And you’re so handsome and dashing you could have any girl you want at the snap of your fingers.’
In mortification, her hand flew to her mouth, though it was too late to stop the words that had tumbled out.
And letting go of the branch proved to be as reckless as speaking her mind. For her left leg promptly shot off to the right while her right leg went straight forward. She had no choice but to grab hold of the front of Lord Havelock’s coat, which had the effect of spinning them both right round, then landing her flush up against the tree trunk, with her wedged between it and the solid bulk of his body.
‘So. You think I’m so handsome I could have any girl I wanted, do you?’
‘I didn’t mean it!’ She uncurled her fingers and gave his coat a firm shove. It only had the effect of propelling her harder against the tree. ‘At least,’ her honesty compelled her to admit, ‘I didn’t mean to say it out loud.’
‘But you did say it,’ he replied with a grin, closing the small gap she’d opened up between them. ‘Which gives me hope. I was beginning to think I’d never break through your defences.’
‘B-break through my defences? Why would you want to do that? And as for saying never...why, we only met a handful of days ago.’
‘And yet the attraction was instant. And powerful. You feel it, too. Though you are trying to resist it.’
She hadn’t thought it possible to feel more embarrassed, but hearing him lay her innermost soul bare in that way, when she hadn’t even worked it all out for herself, was utterly mortifying.
‘You don’t need to resist it, Miss Carpenter. For I want you, too. Very much. And just so there is no misunderstanding about it, I mean, as my wife.’
It was just as well she was wedged between the tree, and his body, because the shock of hearing him propose took all the strength from her legs.
‘Your wife? But you cannot!’
‘Why not?’
‘Because we know nothing about each other.’
‘We know enough,’ he said, giving her another one of those melting looks. She was suddenly very aware of how close they were. And how their breath, rising on the air in two plumes of white vapour, mingled and merged not very far up into one cloud.
‘Let me prove it to you.’
He began to lower his head. Her breath hitched in her throat. He was going to attempt to kiss her. And there was no way to escape. If he let go of her, she would fall over.
That was the moment she realised he wasn’t actually holding her. No, she was the one who was clinging to him, or at least, to his coat. But it was only so that she wouldn’t fall over. Not because...
Not because...
And anyway, if she really, really didn’t want him to kiss her, all she would have to do was turn her head away and his lips would land relatively harmlessly on her cheek.
But she couldn’t move her head. She stayed frozen in place while his mouth came closer and closer to hers. Until his lips touched hers. Pressed, and caressed, and coaxed her own apart. And then their breath was mingling not five feet up in the air, but in her very mouth. And the swirling sensation went right down through her stomach, getting hotter, and hotter, until she wondered that the ice beneath their feet did not melt and suck them down into a vortex that would drown them both.
She’d never felt anything like it in her life. So powerfully all-consuming. So compelling that she didn’t care if carrying on experiencing it did melt the ice and she drowned.
With a whimper, she pressed up against him and slid her arms round his waist. His own went round hers, so that she was no longer the one clinging to him, but they were clinging to each other.
‘So,’ he breathed, ending the most wonderful encounter she’d ever had in her life, ‘you will marry me, then?’
‘What?’ Hearing him persist in talking of marriage felt like plunging right through the ice into the black void beneath. ‘No!’
She tried to pull out of his arms, skidded and had no choice but to grab hold of him again.
‘What do you mean no?’ He frowned down at her. ‘You enjoyed that kiss as much as I did.’
‘That is not the point.’
‘Then what is the point? What can you possibly want from life, if you can turn up your nose at a proposal from a dashing, handsome, and I’ll have you know, solvent peer of the realm? Who could have any other woman for the snapping of my fingers?’
She sucked in a short, shocked breath. How cruel of him to fling her very own words back in her face.
And his face was hard now, harder than she’d ever seen it. Gone was the mask of affability he’d worn when he’d been trying to win her round. Gone the charming smile and the warmth in his eyes. It had been replaced by something with which she was far more familiar.
Cold, hard anger.
Oh, but it was just as well she’d seen this side of him, before it was too late. Before she’d forgotten just how miserable her father had made her mother, within the cage that their marriage had become. She would never, ever, let a man bully her and break her down. Nor coerce her with...with deceitfully delightful kisses!
This time when she tried to break from his hold, he let her go. As though he’d recognised the determination in her eyes and realised it was over.
‘The only sort of man I would even consider marrying,’ she retorted, ‘not that I have any intention of doing anything so stupid, would be...would be...a sailor!’
‘A what?’
‘You heard me. A sailor.’
‘Why the deuce would you prefer a sailor to me?’
‘Because a sailor,’ she snapped, almost beside herself with fury at the way she was having to hang on to a tree merely to maintain her upright position, while he was standing there, hands on his hips, looking down his nose at her with the kind of disdain only an aristocrat could ever muster, ‘would hand over his money, and go off to sea for months, perhaps even years, and leave me in peace to live exactly as I wished!’
There. That had done it. He’d stalk away now—or rather skate away—without a backward glance. And never deign to so much as recognise her if he saw her in the street.
But to her astonishment, he did no such thing. On the contrary, the anger that had seemed to consume him vanished as he flung back his head and burst out laughing.
‘You are perfect,’ he cried, taking hold of her by the elbows and restoring her to a more upright stance. ‘Absolutely perfect. You no more want to get married than I do!’
‘But...if you don’t want to get married, then why...?’
‘Look, there are reasons why I need to have a wife. Which I won’t go into just yet. But I am definitely willing to hand over a deal of my money, and leave you alone, if that’s what you want. We can live virtually separate lives, if, after an initial period, you find you really can’t stand the sight of me. I shan’t cut up rough. You’ll still have a generous allowance.’
‘An allowance?’ She couldn’t quite get her breath. She shook her head. ‘I don’t understand....’
‘Come, Miss Carpenter, I can see you are tempted, if not by my kisses, then at least by my money.’
‘That sounds... You’re making me sound horrible. Mercenary....’
‘Then what can I offer you, that would make you agree to take my hand? Name it. Whatever it is you’ve always craved, and feared you could never have, I will give it to you.’
‘You can’t want to marry me that much....’
‘So there is something? I knew it. Tell me and it shall be yours.’
‘It isn’t anything...really.’
‘It’s something.’
‘Well, it’s just that of late...’ She stopped and shook her head.
‘Yes? Come on, tell me. If it is in my power to give it, I will.’
‘It will probably sound silly to you. But...oh, I so wish I could have a room of my own. A room I can do whatever I want in. Where people have to knock before they come in. A room that nobody can ever turn me out of...’ She faltered to a halt as tears stung her eyes. She hadn’t realised how precious privacy was, until she’d been forced out of her childhood home, and had to rely on the grudging charity of others. Even here, in London, she had to share not only a room, but a bed, with two other girls. They’d made space for her, but it was just a corner. And she was sick of having to make do with just claiming a corner of other people’s rooms.
‘You want security,’ he said, once more hitting the nail on the head. ‘I can give you that. And as for privacy, well, I have several properties. And you may have your very own room in each one of them.’
‘Really?’ It sounded too good to be true. ‘But I still don’t understand why...’
‘Never you mind about why,’ he grated. ‘Just think about this.’ And without further ado, he pulled her into his arms, and kissed her again. And this time, there was nothing gentle, or tentative, about it. This kiss was one that claimed her, body and soul. She had no more chance of escaping him than a snowball did of surviving in the kitchen fire.
She melted into him, swept away by his ardour, her own body’s clamouring and the joyous thought that if she agreed to his proposal, she would have a place of her own. Money to spend as she wanted.
And kisses like this.
She came out of her blissful haze to the sound of Dotty and Lotty, shrieking.
And opened her eyes to see them speeding across the ice towards her.
Lord Havelock spun round to face them, his arm snaking round her waist as they offered their congratulations on a betrothal she hadn’t actually voiced her agreement to.
But she couldn’t very well say so. Why else would she have been kissing a man, in broad daylight, unless it was because they’d just become engaged?
Then something struck her. ‘You can both skate. You don’t need Mr Morgan to stop you falling over at all!’
Dotty and Lotty, completely unabashed, giggled, took her by an arm each and towed her away from her...well, she supposed she had to call him her fiancé.
‘If he’d known we could skate, do you think he would have let us hang on to him like that? He’s the most hardened case in town. Girls have been trying to get him to the altar since...oh, for ever, and nobody has yet got as far as either of us did today.’
She blinked at them in shock. They’d been pretending they couldn’t skate, just so they could get close to him?
She’d never heard of anything so...unscrupulous!
Unless it was letting everyone think she’d just accepted a proposal, when she had no intention of doing any such thing.
Chapter Five
He held her hand, in the carriage, all the way home.
She could have tugged it free, she supposed, but then she would have to explain herself.
And she had no excuse. None. She couldn’t very well claim Lord Havelock had forced those kisses on her. She’d put her arms round him and kissed him back. With some enthusiasm.
And Dotty and Lotty looked so pleased for her. Even Mr Morgan had a twinkle in his eye, and a smile that softened that stern mouth whenever he glanced at their clasped hands.
Her stomach clenched into a cold, hard knot. If she made any attempt, now, to tell them they’d all made a terrible mistake, then...well, she wasn’t sure quite what would happen, but there was bound to be a dreadful scene. She’d upset everyone badly enough by shouting at a man in public. What would they make of her kissing one?
It would be better to wait till they got home. She’d beg a few moments alone with her aunt, and try to explain what had happened. And then...
And then the carriage stopped, and Lotty and Dotty leapt out and went bounding up the front steps, shrieking out the news of her betrothal.
And when Aunt Pargetter came to the front door, it was to Lord Havelock she held out her hands. Even when Mary made frantic signals, behind his back, to try to convey her need to speak with her, she paid no heed.
‘In a moment, Mary,’ she said. ‘His lordship wants to have a private word with me first. Since Mr Pargetter is not at home just now. Though I can guess what you want to say,’ she finished, shooting him an arch look.
‘No, no, I don’t think you could possibly...’ she said, though her voice was drowned out by Lord Havelock saying, ‘My behaviour has been a little unconventional. I should have approached you, that is to say, Mr Pargetter, first, and asked your permission to pay my addresses.’
‘Not at all,’ said Aunt Pargetter, ushering him into her husband’s study. ‘We aren’t legally Mary’s guardians, you know. She is free to make her own choices.’
‘Nevertheless...’
And then the study door closed on whatever he’d been about to say, leaving Mary on the wrong side of it.
Free to make her own choices! If only that were true.
And then Dotty and Lotty were shooing her into the front parlour and divesting her of her coat.
‘She’s in a complete daze,’ said Dotty, untying the ribbons of her bonnet.
‘No wonder,’ said Lotty, pushing her into a chair. ‘His lordship swept her completely off her feet.’
‘No, he didn’t, it was the opposite. He stopped her slipping over,’ quipped Dotty with a giggle. ‘Got his arm round her waist and held her so tight she couldn’t possibly have lost her footing.’
‘Oh, I’ve never seen anything so romantic.’
‘Romantic? No! I...’
; ‘Oh, but it was,’ sighed Dotty, pressing her hands to her heart and flinging herself backwards on to the sofa as though in a swoon.
‘Aren’t you cross with me? Why aren’t you cross with me? When the whole purpose of going skating at all was to try and...and... Well, you were both trying so hard to attract Mr Morgan....’
Who was nowhere in sight, she suddenly realised. The moment they’d gone into the house, he’d slipped away, unnoticed in all the excitement.
‘Oh, that’s so sweet,’ said Lotty. ‘And so like you, to think of us, rather than yourself.’
Dotty bounced off the sofa, and flung her arms round her neck. ‘You mustn’t feel bad because you got a proposal, today, and not us. And as for Mr Morgan...’ She made an airy gesture with one hand. ‘When a man as wealthy as that, and single, comes your way you simply have to make a push to get him interested. But it’s not as if either of us developed a tendre for him, did we, Lotty?’
Lotty shook her head so hard her ringlets bounced.
‘Yes, but...’ As she floundered to a halt against the impenetrable barrier of her own behaviour, Lotty and Dotty both collapsed in giggles again.
And then they heard the front door slam, and Aunt Pargetter came in, beaming all over her face.
‘Mary, I’m so proud of you,’ she said, enveloping her in a lavender-scented hug.
‘No...you shouldn’t be. I didn’t mean to...’
‘Well, I dare say that is what won him round. You are so very...modest. And...and, oh, everything a lady ought to be, I’m sure. A viscountess,’ she exclaimed, sinking on to the sofa next to Dotty, gazing at her with starry eyes. ‘You will be presented at court...’
The girls both squealed with an excitement that passed Mary by completely.
‘And you will go to all the most tonnish events.’
‘But...’ Mary attempted to protest.
‘And then,’ she carried on, regardless, ‘once you are established, you will be able to invite all those tonnish people to parties you throw.’
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