Alix wondered grimly what they were so curious about; did they expect her to look different? Or did they really expect her to tell them what a fantastic lover Rhys was? That he lived up to his reputation? Thinking about the few times they had made love, she supposed that he was a great lover, not that she had anything to compare him with. But he had certainly lifted her to the heights of excitement, time and time again. Was that what made a man a good lover—being able to please the woman he was with? And had he been pleased with her? Hardly, she had been far too inexperienced. There had just been that once when he seemed really aroused and…
Hastily Alix dragged her thoughts back to the present and bent her head over her work again.
It was mid-morning before Rhys walked into the office. He hadn’t expected her to be there and was walking towards Todd’s room, his mouth set into a grim line, when he glanced through the glass partition into her office and did a double-take. He sent the door flying back, startling her, and for a long moment they stared at each other, finding nothing to say.
Todd broke the silence, coming up behind Rhys and putting a hand on his shoulder. ‘You’re a lucky man, Rhys. Not many wives would leave their husband asleep while they go off to work.’
‘Yes, aren’t I?’ Rhys replied with a crooked grin. ‘Alix is becoming quite adept at slipping off and leaving me.’
His irony was lost on Todd, who laughed and said, ‘And what’s this about her still using her maiden name? I’d have thought you would have put your foot down there.’
Rhys’s lips thinned. He was still standing in the doorway looking at her. Giving it a meaning that only she could understand, he said, ‘Unfortunately Alix doesn’t find my name to her liking. But I’m quite sure that she’ll very soon come to realise that being Mrs Stirling is far more—rewarding than being Miss North. Won’t you, Alix?’ he added compellingly.
Her chin came up. ‘I find it inconvenient,’ she said coolly.
‘But not for long,’ Rhys stated firmly, his tone a threat, his eyes challenging.
But she said, ‘Forever,’ and knew, as Todd drew Rhys away, that she had taken up his challenge and issued her own.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SITTING at her desk after they’d gone, Alix felt as if she and Rhys had just declared war. Maybe they had. Her head began to ache, probably because she hadn’t slept much during the last three days, but she forced herself to think. The first thing, she decided, was to make absolutely sure of her ground, so she put a call through to the parent company in Canada and spoke to the woman who acted as Todd’s father’s personal assistant. Alix knew the woman from her frequent trips there with Todd, so after exchanging friendly greetings and saying, yes, she’d had a wonderful honeymoon, Alix said, ‘We have a man here who is interested in one of the posts you’re advertising in the company newsletter. The problem is that he isn’t married and he understands that, although it doesn’t say so in the advert, it’s company policy for all executive positions to be filled only by married men. Is that right?’
The woman gave a small groan. ‘I’m afraid so, Alix. It’s a big problem for us. But you know what old Mr Weston is like; he’s forever going on about family men being more settled and unlikely to get into trouble when they’re abroad. The firm’s reputation is everything to him—he’s even been known to fire people who’ve just got drunk!’
‘Really?’ Alix managed to laugh and say, ‘It’s a good job Rhys and I got married, then.’
‘Well, I know Mr Weston was concerned about Rhys getting so far ahead in the company when he was still single, but as soon as Rhys got engaged to you everything was OK.’
‘Wouldn’t Mr Weston rather we’d got married straight away?’ Alix ventured.
‘Well, as Rhys pointed out, you were only twenty; he wanted to wait until you were a little older, and Mr Weston was happy to go along with that. He likes you both very much, you know.’
As they had received a very generous wedding present from him, Alix didn’t doubt it. She rang off, momentarily wondering what had happened to all the presents, but the thought went out of her mind as she pondered what she’d found out. So, as she’d already accepted in her mind, Lynette had been right all along. Todd, then, had lied to her when she’d asked him. Out of kindness, she supposed, knowing how in love with Rhys she was—had once been. The two men had protected her from the truth as they would an indulged child. That idea filled her with resentment for a moment, but she had changed so much in the last few weeks that now Alix could look back on her old self with a kind of wonder at her own naivety and trustfulness. Would she have gone on through life like that, she wondered, if none of this had happened? Would she have gone on seeing everything through rose-coloured glasses and finding life perfection, the realisation of her dream? A great feeling of envy for the girl that she’d been suddenly filled her, and Alix put her head in her hands, feeling so low that she could have cried.
The sound of Todd’s door opening as Rhys came out made her sit up quickly and pretend to be absorbed in her work; no way would she let Rhys see how low she was. He hesitated at her door but she kept her head down and, to her deep relief, he moved on. Ten minutes later the phone on her desk buzzed. It was her mother. Alix might have known that Rhys would immediately ring her. It wasn’t a pleasant phone call. Her mother was very upset, in tears, wanting her to come home.
‘No, Mum, I’m sorry. I’ve found a flat and I’ll be living on my own from now on,’ Alix said firmly.
Her mother wouldn’t ring off until Alix had given her the address and telephone number. Which meant that her flat, which was to have been a haven of peace, would now become under siege, Alix thought wryly as she managed to break off the call at last.
At twelve-thirty Todd came out of his office and opened her door. ‘I’m having lunch with Rhys; you want to come along?’
‘No, thanks. I have some shopping to do.’
His eyes rose to heaven. ‘The main occupation of the married woman—shopping; I hate it.’
‘This is a different kind of shopping—for food.’
Todd grinned wickedly. ‘Keeping his strength up, huh?’
She made a face at him and he laughed and went away. Alix watched him go and wondered what his reaction would be when he found out she and Rhys weren’t even living together, that she was getting a divorce. Dully, she supposed that she ought to see a solicitor about that, get a legal separation or something. But at the moment she was so tired, without the strength to take on a new set of problems.
The phone rang again and Kathy said, ‘Are you going to lunch with Rhys?’
‘No, I——’
‘See you downstairs in five minutes.’
With a sigh, Alix put on her jacket.
‘Lord, how exhausted you look!’ Kathy exclaimed when Alix joined her, but then stopped herself and laughed. ‘Well, I suppose you would look tired. I always knew Rhys would be a stud,’ she added with satisfaction.
‘Kathy!’ Alix pretended to be outraged, but then laughed, which was good. Alix hadn’t laughed for nearly a month.
They grabbed a sandwich and then went to a nearby food store, Alix explaining away the fact that she was only buying for one by saying that Rhys was going out to dinner with a customer.
‘Isn’t he taking you with him to act as hostess?’
‘No, men only.’
‘Well, take the opportunity to have an early night. And when he comes home pretend to be asleep,’ Kathy advised.
‘Is that what you do?’ Alix asked, momentarily curious.
‘Sometimes,’ Kathy admitted. ‘It’s hard being a career-girl and a housewife as well. There’s so much to do when you get home from work and at the weekends. There are times when you need a break.’
Alix couldn’t imagine pretending to the man you loved, but said, ‘You never told me that before.’
‘You weren’t married before. You were a sweet, innocent virgin,’ Kathy said flippantly.
‘Did it show?’
>
Kathy smiled. ‘It shone out of you—almost as brightly as the way you lit up whenever Rhys came into the room.’
‘I didn’t realise I was that transparent,’ Alix said ruefully.
Studying her face for a long moment, Kathy said, ‘I expected you to be really radiant now that you’re married, the way you were on your wedding-day. But you’re not, you’re——’ she struggled to find a word but then shrugged her shoulders ‘—I don’t know, you’re just not as I expected you to be.’
Alix managed a small smile. ‘As you said, I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.’
‘And you’re thinner.’
‘Good; I’m on a diet,’ Alix lied.
She took her purse from her bag to pay, and Kathy said, ‘Hey, where are your rings? Don’t tell me you’ve lost them already?’
‘No, of course not.’ Alix managed another smile. ‘They’ve—er—gone to be altered. They didn’t fit over one another.’ Quickly she paid and glanced at her watch. ‘We’d better be getting back.’
Rhys was in the building all afternoon, in his own department, working on the Lithuanian project, Alix supposed. She fully expected him to come to find her at the end of the day, and was surprised when he didn’t, but she found out why when she got to her flat. Her father was waiting for her at the door.
He now worked in the city, too, and was still handsome in his dark business suit. ‘Hello, my darling girl,’ he greeted her, and gave her a hug and a kiss, almost as if she were still a small child.
Alix unlocked the door which led straight into the small sitting-room. John North looked round. ‘Are you living here alone?’ Alix looked at him and he said quickly, ‘I mean, you’re not sharing with a girlfriend?’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘Would you like a coffee?’
‘Have you got anything stronger?’
‘Sorry, no.’
‘Then a coffee will do fine.’
She went into the tiny kitchen to prepare it. Her father followed her to have a look, then went away to inspect the bedroom and small bathroom.
‘It isn’t much of a place, Alix,’ he remarked when she rejoined him in the sitting-room.
‘It’s all I need and all I can afford.’
‘If you’re short of money, darling, you know you can always——’
‘I’m not,’ she interrupted, putting the cups down on a coffee-table. She sank into a chair. ‘All right, Dad, get it over.’
He stood looking down at her for a moment, then pulled up a chair close to hers, sat down and took her hand. ‘I think you’d better tell me what happened.’
‘Didn’t Rhys tell you?’
‘Only that an emergency had cropped up and he’d had to go away during your honeymoon. That you were upset because of it and he couldn’t contact you. He thought you were punishing him, teaching him a lesson. Which he seemed to need, I might add,’ her father said drily. ‘But looking at you now, I can see there’s more to it than that. Won’t you tell me, darling?’
Tears pricked her eyes, but Alix bit her lip and said, ‘Did Mum send you to persuade me to go back to him?’
John North grinned ruefully. ‘They all did. And until I saw you, that was what I intended. But not now.’ His grip on her hand tightened. ‘I’m on your side, Alix. Always remember that. Whatever you want to do I’ll help you.’
‘I want to divorce Rhys,’ she said baldly.
He stared at her. ‘My dear child! What did he do to you?’ His face became grim and he clenched his fist. ‘If he’s hurt you in any way…’
‘No. No, it’s nothing like that,’ she assured him. Alix bit her lip. ‘I don’t want to tell you, because you’re such close friends with Uncle David and Aunt Joanne. I don’t want to sp-spoil that.’
‘Alix, darling, you are our daughter, our only child, and your mother and I love you more than anything in the world. Friendships mean nothing compared with that. You, and your happiness, is all that matters to us.’
His words were so comforting, so reassuring when she felt so alone, that Alix couldn’t control the tears any longer. ‘Oh, Daddy,’ she sobbed, ‘I found out Rhys doesn’t love me. He never has. He only married me so he could get a job!’
Gathering her into his arms, her father said, ‘There, there, my darling. Tell me all about it.’
She did so, brokenly, crying out her distress, then had her face wiped and was made to drink her coffee. He made her feel as if she was a little girl crying over a lost doll, which Alix, at that moment, didn’t mind in the least. But when her father stood up and said angrily, ‘I’m going to have this out with Rhys! How dare he treat you like this?’ she immediately became a twenty-two-year-old woman again.
‘No! You’re not to. It’s my problem, not yours. You gave me what you thought I wanted—what I did want at the time. It’s my fault; I went ahead and married Rhys even though I’d been warned that he didn’t love me. So it’s up to me to sort it out.’ He went to speak but she held up her hand. ‘I promise that if I need you I’ll be in touch. But I have to do this on my own.’ She smiled rather bitterly. ‘It will do me good to get myself out of a mess for once instead of having you do it for me.’
‘This isn’t just a scrape with the car or something, Alix.’
‘I know that. It’s more like a head-on crash.’ She looked at him earnestly. ‘But it’s something I have to settle for myself. And I want you to promise that you won’t say anything to Rhys’s parents. It’s up to him to tell them as much as he wants them to know. And promise that you won’t let this break up your friendship. After all, you all acted in good faith; you thought that this was what Rhys and I both wanted. And it was; I wanted it so much.’ Her voice broke. ‘Please don’t make it worse than it is by letting it spoil your lives, too. Promise me, Daddy.’
Her father shook his head unhappily. ‘I understand what you’re saying, darling. But I have to tell them something.’
Alix gripped the arms of her chair. ‘Tell them that I was so upset that Rhys went away during out honeymoon that I just can’t live with him any more.’
‘It’s hardly enough reason for you to break with him completely, Alix. I doubt if they’ll believe it.’
She gave a tired sigh. ‘Then let them think that I’m just punishing Rhys, as he said. When enough time has gone by it will be easier for them to accept the truth.’
He looked unhappy about it but nodded. ‘All right, if that’s what you want. Now, go and wash your face and let’s go and have a meal; I’m starving.’
‘No, you should go home. Mum will be waiting for you. And I’ve bought myself something.’ She stood up to see him to the door, kissed him goodbye. ‘Try and keep them off my back, if you can. I need some space.’
Her father might have tried but he didn’t succeed, though at least he kept his promise not to tell the others the real reason. Her mother rang Alix at work the next day and said angrily, ‘Alix, this has gone far enough. Punishing Rhys is one thing, but to go as far as renting your own flat is ridiculous. You have to remember that Rhys has a very responsible job and he’s used to putting it first.’
‘Yes, Ma, no one knows that better than I do,’ Alix said sardonically.
‘If you go on this way you might lose him. Do you want that?’
‘I’m sorry, I have to go. Todd wants me in his office. Goodbye.’
She put the receiver down on her mother’s indignant voice and just hoped she wouldn’t turn up at the flat. But the next person to phone was Rhys’s father, wanting to take her out to lunch. Alix made an excuse and began to feel hunted, especially when his mother also phoned. She wasn’t as angry as her own mother had been, or if she was she didn’t let it show. She was most apologetic on Rhys’s behalf, saying that it had all been his fault et cetera, et cetera. But in the end all she wanted to do was to persuade Alix to go back to him. ‘He’s missing you dreadfully, Alix, and is so unhappy. He loves you very much, you know.’
‘No. No, I don’t know,’ Alix said in a str
angled voice and slammed down the phone.
Todd was leaving early the following morning to go to Canada for a few days, but hadn’t said anything about taking Alix with him. But he often didn’t if it was for just a short time. There were letters to be finished before he went, documents he wanted to sign, so Alix was kept working late and it was almost seven before she left. The lift whispered down to the ground floor and she stepped out into the foyer. Rhys was waiting, sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him and casually crossed as he read the evening paper.
Alix said goodnight to the doorman and went to walk past him, but knew she wouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. Getting quickly to his feet he dropped the paper and came to open the door for her, then caught her elbow as she went to turn away. ‘Let’s go out to dinner somewhere.’
‘I don’t want to go anywhere with you.’
‘You have to eat,’ he pointed out.
‘Not with you I don’t. There’s only one thing I want from you.’
Rhys’s face tightened. ‘Yes, a divorce. So you keep telling me.’
‘Sorry, two things. That, and for you to get your parents off my back!’
He frowned. ‘Have they been getting at you, too?’
‘What do you think? They want me to go trotting back to you like a good little girl, having made my point. Only they don’t know that the point is that you don’t love me; and that’s already been proved—by you!’
‘That isn’t true.’
She gave an incredulous gasp. ‘Are you trying to tell me that you were in love with me when you asked me to marry you?’
Alix asked the question indignantly, already knowing the answer, and wasn’t surprised when Rhys’s eyes drew into a frown. Some people went by, looking at them curiously, and he used it as an excuse to say shortly, ‘This is hardly the place to talk about it.’ Raising his arm, he waved to a cruising taxi and pushed her into it, ignoring her protests. ‘Wheeler’s,’ he said to the driver.
To Have And To Hold (Mills & Boon Vintage 90s Modern) Page 13