‘We are only as close as good friends are, Laura,’ he said levelly, ‘and, no, I haven’t discussed us with her.’
It was true. He might have let go a little when he and Sarah had been watching Laura in the yard with the children, but he had said nothing to her before that.
She nodded. ‘I just wondered, may I ask another question?’
‘Yes. Go on.’
‘Why haven’t you been riding since I came back on the scene? Is it anything to do with me?’
‘Only indirectly. I’ve had my mind on other things.’
‘Such as?’
‘Trying to make up for past wrongs.’
She reached out and patted his cheek gently. ‘How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t owe me anything, Jon? The only person you owe anything to is yourself.’ And before he had time to take the moment any further, it was Laura’s turn to go into her apartment and close the door.
The children were back at school and it had been arranged that until it was dark in the afternoons with the approach of Christmas, Laura would take them twice weekly for riding lessons after she’d picked them up, and they would have a third lesson on Sunday mornings when Jon could be there.
They needed riding kit and on the following Saturday the four of them caught the train into Manchester to fit Abby and Liam out with the right sort of outfits, and while they were there to shop for clothes for Roger’s wedding, which was in two weeks’ time.
For Jon there was no problem. The men involved in the ceremony were wearing morning suits and top hats, but it was an opportunity for Laura and the children to dress up, and as Abby and Liam took in all the exciting things that were happening in their lives, Laura was thinking that twice in recent weeks she had come to Manchester to buy smart clothes. She who’d had no inclination to do such a thing for a long time, and on this occasion the shopping party was complete, Jon was with them. When she’d lived in Cornwall she’d bought clothes for the job, but socialising had been a non-starter.
He was watching her expression from a seat opposite her in the carriage, and when their glances held he said with a smile, ‘A penny for them.’
She returned the smile. ‘I’m thinking in pounds rather than pence.’
‘You mean the big shopping spree that is ahead of us? It’s great, though, isn’t it? There isn’t a dull moment these days, with riding lessons and village weddings.’
There was a lift to his voice and she thought that when it was like this, the four of them together, there were no problems. They were a family, a happy one, as long as Jon and herself didn’t let it throw them off their guard. One day he might bring another woman into their charmed little unit, and what would she do then?
He hadn’t given out any signals since the night he’d kissed her, so she’d been right in thinking it had been a brief moment of sexual chemistry that he regretted. Just as she had regrets about the way she’d behaved like a self-righteous prude.
They arrived in the hustle and bustle of the city and as they went down to the tram terminus below the station, holding tightly onto the children, Laura let the day take hold of her and put backward thinking to one side.
The riding outfits were soon sorted as Sarah had told them where to go, and there was no difficulty in finding a pretty dress for Abby in one of the big stores and a neat shirt and tartan trousers with a matching bow-tie for Liam.
The hardest part came last—wedding clothes for herself, with Jon as an interested onlooker. After a few non-starters she found an elegant dress of blue silk that he immediately approved of, and once it was placed in a smart carrier bag she surprised him by saying, ‘For the first time in years I’m going to wear a hat. Something big and stylish, so that I don’t let the best man down.’
‘You have never let me down in all the time I’ve known you,’ he said with sudden seriousness.
‘Don’t!’ she protested.
‘What?’
‘Go down that road again. We’ve been there too often and it does no good.’
His smile was back.
‘All right, oh wise one.’
When she posed for him in a hat that was the same colour as the dress, he thought tenderly that the woman in front of him bore no resemblance to the one who had been on the back step of her father’s house on the day that he’d returned to the village.
She’d looked drained, drab, too thin. Barely recognisable as the Laura he had once known. And now here she was. At this moment beautiful and confident. So they must be doing something right.
‘You’ll outshine the bride if we’re not careful,’ he teased and saw the warm colour rise in her cheeks.
‘I wouldn’t want to do that,’ she told him. ‘When are we going to meet her? It seems strange, all this preparation and we haven’t yet met.’
‘According to Roger, Monique is arriving from Paris tomorrow. She has a small business there and once they’re married they will live here part of the time and the rest in France.’
‘And how is his mother?’
‘Better since I took her in hand, and feeling brighter, though she won’t admit it. She’s enjoying the excitement of all the changes taking place in their lives but likes to pretend that she isn’t.’
‘That’s good, then,’ she said, and watched as Liam took hold of Jon’s hand and gazed up at him trustingly.
She turned away. Why couldn’t she accept the idea of them marrying for the children’s sakes? she thought. Jon had denied that he’d had any such idea in mind when she’d been so hoity-toity about what she wanted and what she didn’t want. But she’d known that he’d been thinking along those lines in spite of him assuring her that he would never want her to be a ‘domestic sacrifice’.
Abby had heard a patient say that it would be the sensible thing to do. Maybe the woman had been right, but it was there again. The dread of taking on more than she could cope with if Jon didn’t love her as she loved him.
‘So are we going to find somewhere to eat now that we’ve finished shopping?’ he asked, and when she turned back to face them Abby had taken hold of his other hand and they were waiting for her to bring her thoughts back from wherever they’d been.
She loved these three more than life itself she thought, and knew that the children returned her love, but what of the man? What were his feelings? How did he see her place in his life? She would give anything to know, and on knowing might see the way ahead more clearly. But he’d asked a question and was waiting for an answer.
‘Yes, let’s find somewhere to eat,’ she agreed. ‘Where do you suggest?’
She was going to be putting a dampener on the outing if she wasn’t careful, and that wouldn’t be fair to either Jon or the children.
‘And so what was going on back there?’ he asked as they queued in a fast-food restaurant. ‘Something was on your mind.’
She sighed. It was too much to ask that he might not have noticed her abstraction.
‘I was thinking what a happy and secure picture the three of you made,’ she told him, without elaborating.
‘Good. Because that is how we want our children to feel, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. It is,’ she agreed. With a feeling that she knew what was coming next, she went on, ‘But they won’t continue to feel like that if we don’t have the same feelings of contentment, so I’m happy for things to stay as they are.’
It was far from the truth. The day when she would be totally happy would be the one when he told her he loved her, and if it never dawned she would have to make do with what they had. But not as Jon’s wife. She’d had lots of practice at being a good mother without being a wife, and it was a painful role to play.
That night after they’d separated Jon kept thinking about the guarded conversation they’d had earlier in the day. Laura had made it clear once more that she hadn’t got marriage in mind. It was as if every time he was ready to declare his feelings, she forestalled him.
But the time was fast approaching when he wasn’t
going to be warned off. The only thing stopping him was a reluctance to do anything that would make the children feel insecure. They were a happy pair and he wanted them to stay that way. Any friction between Laura and himself could make them feel anxious and that just wasn’t acceptable.
He was no ditherer, but it was a situation that was making him feel like one. He’d always thought that if and when he really fell in love, completely and irrevocably, he would sweep off her feet the woman he’d given his heart to.
But it wasn’t turning out like that. For one thing that very same woman had turned out to be Laura, who he’d taken for granted for as long as he could remember, until she’d come back into his life and made him sit up and take notice, made him take a fresh look at where he was heading. And now he wanted her so much it was like living with a constant ache inside him, and it wasn’t the kind of pain he could write out a prescription for.
He knew that his mother guessed what was in his mind, but Marjorie was a wise woman and she wouldn’t pry, knowing that when he was ready he would tell her. So far he hadn’t been able to do that, because his heart was filled with wonder as well as uncertainty, and for a little while he wanted to keep that to himself.
It was Sunday morning and they went to the stables for the children’s second session with the ponies. Sarah smiled when Jon and Laura presented the two small figures to her, appropriately dressed and raring to go.
When she brought the ponies out of the stable into the yard she told Laura and Jon, ‘Just a slow canter around the yard here will be enough for today, but first I’m going to familiarise the children with the tack. They’ve got to understand what the saddle, bridle and reins are for, and how their hands and legs, along with their voices, will help to control the animal they’re riding.
‘Instruction in feeding and grooming will also be part of the lessons. They are things that will help to develop a sense of responsibility towards their ponies. So let’s begin!’
Together, Jon and Laura watched Abby and Liam learn to ride, for once completely at peace with each other as they delighted in their children’s achievements.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THAT was in the morning. In the late afternoon Roger phoned to say that Monique had arrived and that he was inviting a few people over that evening for drinks and an opportunity to meet the woman he was going to marry.
‘Needless to say, you two are top of my list,’ he told Jon jovially. ‘Will your mother keep an eye on the children for a couple of hours for you?’
‘Yes, I’m sure she will,’ he replied. ‘Laura and I will be pleased to come. What time do you want us?’
‘Eightish all right?’
‘Yes. We’ll be there,’ he promised, and when Roger had gone off the line he rang his mother to ask if she would come round that evening.
‘Yes, of course,’ she said, and without her usual reticence, ‘It will be nice to have a wedding in the village. Though I can’t help wishing that it could be yours. If you don’t watch out, I might get to the altar before you.’
‘What do you mean?’ he asked in amazement and she laughed.
‘I’m just teasing. I have a suitor from long ago coming to see me.’
‘Who! Anyone I know?’
‘No. Alexander and I were engaged once, but he was obsessed with mountaineering so that I hardly ever saw him. In the end I called it off. He was very upset, but I’d met your father by then and knew he was the right one for me.’
‘I see,’ he said whimsically. ‘So your past is catching up with you, just like mine did.’
‘Mmm. But not with so many problems attached to it. Which of the two of you is dragging their feet?’
He sighed. ‘We both are, but for different reasons.’
‘It will sort itself out, Jon. If nothing else, those two beautiful children will bring Laura and you together.’
When she’d rung off, he thought that, much as they adored the children, if anything ever came of his love for Laura, it would be because they couldn’t live without each other. No other reason would do.
At that moment she knocked on his door and when he opened it she said, ‘You look serious. What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing,’ he said flatly, as he stepped back to let her in. ‘I’ve just been chatting to my mother.’
‘You don’t usually look like that when you’ve been talking to Marjorie.’’
‘Maybe it’s because she’s just reminded me that she has a life of her own that has been on hold for a long time because of me. She’s expecting a visit from an old flame and was teasing me that hers might be the next wedding.’
‘So what would be wrong with that?’
‘Nothing. Nothing at all. All I care about is her happiness,’ he said abruptly. ‘But it seems as if everyone around us is getting on with their lives, except us.’ He was giving her an opening. Would she take it? No. It seemed not.
‘I don’t think we’re doing too badly,’ she said in mild protest to cover a fast-beating heart. ‘Our children are happy and contented. We’re both living almost on each other’s doorsteps and are employed in the practice. The village is beautiful, the people friendly and caring. What more could we ask?’ It was her turn to put out a probe, but it was no more successful than his.
‘And on top of all that we’ve been invited up to the hall for drinks this evening to meet Monique,’ he said dryly, having been sidetracked once again. ‘What more could we ask? I’ve accepted on behalf of both of us. I hope that’s all right with you. Mum says she’ll come round to put the children to bed.’
‘Yes, it’s fine by me,’ she said, ignoring the sarcasm. ‘Is it formal? Do we have to dress up?’
‘I wouldn’t think so. But don’t be surprised if his mother starts asking questions. Avril still sees herself as lady of the manor, and she remembers you quite clearly from long ago.’
‘There is only one thing that would surprise me at this moment,’ she told him levelly, ‘and it isn’t that.’ And before he had the chance to take her up on the comment she went back to where she’d come from, leaving him flatter than the pancakes she’d been intending to make if he’d had a spare lemon in his fruit bowl.
When Roger and his fiancée met them in the panelled hall of the manor house Laura saw that the Frenchwoman was small, smartly dressed, and very composed for someone who was meeting her future husband’s friends for the first time.
When Roger had introduced them to her he said, ‘Jon is to be my best man, Monique. He, Laura and I have been friends since we were small.’
‘That is good,’ she said with a smile, and would have said more, but someone else had just arrived behind them, and they moved on to where Avril was holding court in the sitting room with relatives and people from the village seated around her.
When she saw Laura she held out a bony hand and exclaimed, ‘Laura Hewitt! I thought you would have been to see me before now. Where have you been all these years?’
As if it was a question that they would all have liked to ask, the room became silent as Laura replied, ‘Living in Cornwall with my little boy, Mrs Jameson. I came back for my father’s funeral and decided to stay.’
She wondered what the interested onlookers would think if she were to say that the reason for her staying was standing right beside her, hiding a smile as his prophesy came to pass.
‘Get me away from here,’ she said in a low voice, ‘before Avril remembers how I once lay on her pale blue chaise longue with my boots on when I had stomach-ache after eating too much fruit off the trees.’
The couple who’d arrived just after them were approaching their hostess and Jon took her arm and guided her behind a big aspidistra in a corner of the room, and as they laughed together he said softly, ‘You’re lovely when you laugh, Laura. You should do it more often.’
As their glances held he kissed her fleetingly on the lips and it was there again. The raw need that had appeared from nowhere when they’d arrived home on the night they’d dined in Manche
ster. But if ever there was a time and place that wasn’t right, it was while they were skulking behind a potted plant in Avril Jameson’s crowded sitting room with the lady herself only feet away.
‘Has anyone seen Jon?’ Roger was asking, and as they appeared, feigning an interest in the plant, he said, ‘How would you be fixed for a rehearsal of the wedding ceremony in the church one evening during the coming week, so that Monique can get the feel of the place? The vicar and his wife are here so I can arrange it with him now.’
‘Yes, of course,’ he agreed. ‘Let me know which night and I’ll be there. What about bridesmaids?’
‘Monique’s sister is coming over with her father, who is going to give her away.’
Laura had turned away. This wedding was going to be a bit too close to home, she was thinking. Fortunately the church would be packed, so maybe it would go unnoticed that the doctor in the blue dress and the big blue hat couldn’t take her eyes off the best man.
They gave the vicar and his wife a lift home at the end of the evening, so there was no opportunity for a rekindling of the flame that had burned for so short a time behind the aspidistra, and as Marjorie seemed in no hurry to go when they got back, that state of affairs continued.
By the time his mother was ready for Jon to drive her home Laura had decided that maybe it was as well that it had been a fleeting thing. Her thoughts were in a big enough jumble without any further complications.
Both children were asleep and he said, ‘Will you keep an eye on Abby while I take Mum home? I won’t be long and I’ll leave my door on the latch.’
‘Yes. I won’t go to bed until you’re back,’ she told him, and off they went.
Minutes later Jon rang to say that there was a problem at his mother’s and he was going to be delayed. When she asked what was wrong, he said that they’d arrived to find the kitchen floor awash from a burst pipe and it was going to take some time to get it sorted. Did she mind?
A Single Dad at Heathermere Page 11