by L. Divine
I wrote down some sorry bull for the school psychologist to read this morning. It was mostly about my childhood, or rather the one I saw on television last night. She ate up my fiction and let me out early for lunch, thank God. Now I can focus on the real. Mama has a plan to get Misty and Esmeralda off my back once and for all. Me, my mom, and Mama are coming together tonight after the dance to implement the plan. Making it through the rest of the day without killing one of these cupids walking around campus is going to be the real challenge.
“Jayd, can you put two braids in my hair? I want to wear it wavy for the fiesta tonight,” Maggie says as soon as I exit the main hall, heading to the lunch area. The sun is blinding this afternoon and I almost run straight into my short friend.
“Sure,” I say, following Maggie to a bench in the quad. She can also give me the rundown on what’s been up on campus this week, not that I need the whole story. Mama again gave me the okay to braid hair, but I can’t wash anyone’s head until I’m completely healed.
“So what’s been up with you, Mami? I heard you got detention for smacking Misty. Good for you,” she says, taking a piece of gum out of her Dolce & Gabbana knock-off and smacking it loudly.
“Girl, nothing much. Just boys, girls, and drama. The usual,” I say, not giving her any details. As Netta says, the hairdresser listens more and talks less.
“You need to find you a white boy,” Maggie says as I part her soft hair. “Oh, you already did that. Well, that’s why I say let the young blood take a shot at you, Señorita Jayd. You won’t know if you like it until you try it, yeah?”
“He’s a sophomore. He can’t even drive.” Emilio is fine, but the last thing I need is another dude to deal with.
“Now see, that’s where you’re wrong. He just turned sixteen and he can drive, he just doesn’t have a license in this country. You’d think with a black president the laws would have changed a little too, no?” I force Maggie’s head back and look at her like she’s lost her mind amidst this racist montage called South Bay High. All hating is unfortunately contagious.
“You did not just say that shit.”
“No, I didn’t. It was a slipup. But seriously though, you’d think he could bend some rules.”
“I like President Obama just the way he is.” And that I do. I may not like my men younger than me but older is just fine.
“También.” We both laugh at our mutual jocking of the first black president of the United States of America. Fine is fine, no matter the age or job description. I just want to be Michelle for one day, badass gear and all. Now that’s a dream I’d be willing to walk through on a daily basis.
“Perfect,” Maggie says, looking at her reflection in the tiny compact mirror from her purse. The warning bell for fifth period rings and students begin rushing to class. From what I can see, Misty and her crew are absent today. I haven’t seen Jeremy, Chance, or Nellie around either.
“Glad I could help.” Maggie pulls a ten dollar bill out of her purse and hands it to me. I smile at my girl. She appreciates my work and I appreciate getting paid for it.
“I’ll see you tonight, Jayd, and think about what I said. Emilio’s a cutey.” Yes, he is, which means he’s probably more trouble than he’s worth.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see another call from Rah. He’s been jocking me all week and I’m not in the mood to deal with him. He’s going to the dance at his school tonight, and me mine. As far as I’m concerned nothing more needs to be said. How is it that I always end up alone? I’m dealing with two dudes and neither of them are here when I need them. Why do I keep going through the same shit over and over again?
“Because it’s in your blood. Haven’t you seen enough of our collective drama by now to understand that?” my mom says, intervening in my otherwise quiet stroll to drama class.
“Thanks, Mom,” I think back. I know she’s right, but I refuse to believe it’s permanent. “I’m in class now, Mom. I’ll see you tonight.”
“See you later, baby. And Jayd, don’t worry. Life gets better after high school. Trust me.” I sure do hope so, because this school thang is enough to drive a sistah crazy, for real. I never did answer Jeremy back about going out tomorrow night. I’ll think of how to reply to him later. Right now I’m going to immerse myself into being someone else for the hour. I’ll get back to reality when I get home.
I hate getting dressed up over Mama’s house, especially when I’m not prepared. Mama sprung this new plan on me this morning before I left for school, and now it’s in full effect. The worst thing about trying to get cute here is having to do it around my trifling uncles, who have left the bathroom in a funky state of disarray this afternoon. I would’ve been better off getting ready at school.
I walk into the kitchen and look through the bare cupboards for something to snack on. Carrots are the only edible thing up in here. They will have to do until I can grab something at the dance. ASB always has good caterers for their events.
“Hey, baby. You ready for tonight?” Mama asks, coming in from the spirit room through the back door with her faithful companion close behind her. Lexi claims her cozy spot under the table while Mama leads the way to her room.
“I guess,” I say, following her. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I hope it’s not another call from Rah, and it’s not. Instead it’s Jeremy I’m avoiding this time. I open my phone and read Jeremy’s words on the small screen.
Hey, Lady J. I realize I forgot to ask you out properly for tomorrow night. Will you be my Valentine? I hope so.
“What’s that look all about?” Mama asks, sitting down on her bed. She looks like she needs a long nap.
“Jeremy wants to take me out to see some new love-thriller movie Saturday night. It’s called Voodoo Valentine or something like that,” I say, biting the carrot hard and making a loud snapping sound. I sit down on my bed, wishing I could take a nap myself. But I know that’s out of the question. I need to get ready for tonight and I don’t even know what I’m wearing yet. The only dress I have here is the red one from Christmas Eve that my mom gave me. I’m not sure I should wear that one after the vision Mama and I shared of Maman with the same dress.
“It’s not the carrot’s fault Hollywood can be ignorant, nor is it Jeremy’s.” I know Mama’s right.
“But I expect more from him,” I say.
“He’s not a mind reader, Jayd. If you want him to know about you and your lineage, tell him. He might be more understanding than you give him credit for.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Look, I’ve already lost all of my other friends over this mess. I can’t afford to lose another one.”
“You haven’t lost anything if it’s not really yours to begin with. And friends that leave so easily aren’t really friends at all. I have work to do to prepare for your long night. I’ll be in the back if you need me.” Mama rises from her bed and kisses me on the cheek. She then places a small vial containing the tincture for Misty. “I’ll see you when you get home, and don’t take too long. Have fun and good luck.”
“Thank you, Mama,” I say as she leaves me to get ready. My phone vibrates again. Damn, I’m on fire today. This time I answer. I guess I can’t avoid Rah forever.
“Jayd, what the hell is up with you? You won’t talk to me or nothing and I didn’t even do anything,” he says into my cell. No hello or nothing, but I can’t blame him. Just like he can’t blame me for protecting myself.
“Not yet, but you will. It’s just a matter of time before you hurt me again, and I can’t afford it anymore. For real, Rah,” I say while going through Mama’s closet. The red dress is really the only thing that fits me. Mama’s a good eight inches taller than I am, and her hips are bigger. Any dress I wear of hers would have to be hemmed.
“Jayd, girl, you are tripping,” Rah says. I don’t have time for this right now.
“Rah, I have to get ready for the dance. You have fun at your school dance and give Trish a big kiss for me. Bye,” I say, not giving h
im a chance to respond. I still need to whip my hair up before I roll out in a couple of hours. I’m not staying at the dance for too long, but I want to represent properly while I’m there.
“Jayd, you should wear the dress. It was obviously meant for you and it brings you closer to your ancestors. Wear the dress and the jade bracelets and not just for the good luck they bring, but also because they look stunning on you, regardless of their history.” I look at my reflection in the mirror, holding the embroidered scarlet fabric up to my skin. It is a beautiful outfit.
“Mom, the last time I wore this dress me and Mama had a vision together. That wasn’t fun, and it’s not what I’m looking for tonight,” I say aloud while gathering my toiletries. I can only hope the small bathroom has aired out by now.
“True, but it also helped protect you from being completely sucked into the vision. You have to think of your visions as blessings, Jayd, not burdens. Otherwise no matter what you do, they’re always going to come with a sense of dread for you. And eventually, they’ll just stop coming altogether. Then who would you help? See you later.” My mom’s right. I need to fully embrace my lineage and love us for the powerful women that we are. I again catch my reflection as the five jade bracelets fall down my arm. I look like all of the women who came before me. And, like them, I’m running this shit, not our enemies.
When I arrive at the dimly lit gymnasium crowded with couples, I scan the area, intent on my goal. And of course Misty’s nowhere to be found.
“Have y’all seen Misty?” Maggie looks at me with pure disdain at the mention of my frenemy’s name. I feel the same way. But right now I need to find her so I can slip her this potion and get the hell out of here. Mama and my mom will be waiting for me at Mama’s house, and I want to get this over as soon as possible.
“Oh, mija, you look gorgeous,” she says, eyeing my outfit. I did clean up rather nicely if I do give myself props. “Her and KJ came in awhile ago. Why do you want to know?” Maggie asks.
“Because I’ve got something for her.” I scope the large auditorium, looking through the close-knit couples dancing, scouting for my prey. Where the hell is she? Misty’s hard to miss in the largest of crowds. I hope she’s enjoying my vision because her time playing Jayd in her personal after-school special has just about run out.
“I thought you came with Rah. But if not, Emilio’s here and he would love to be your escort for the evening.” Maggie is forever playing matchup. It’s not that I’m completely opposed to dating someone younger, but Emilio comes with an entire host of issues I’m not ready to entertain. Right now I have enough on my plate to sort out as it is.
“Rah’s looking for me, and I don’t want to be found,” I say to Maggie, who looks amused by my dilemma. Knowing Rah, he’ll make an appearance at some point tonight.
“Wow, Jayd. Do you ever just chill, chica?”
“Not nearly enough.” When this is all over I’m going to soak in lavender for about a good week. Maggie’s right. I need to relax in the worst way. I’m too young for all of this madness.
“There she is. How could you miss all of that?” Maggie asks, pointing toward the food table.
What Maggie doesn’t know is that these days I can miss just about anything. Misty and KJ have gone all out for the Valentine dance, dressed in matching red outfits. His pimp suit makes him look exactly like the handsome ass that he is. I’m sure his ego is unbearable these days since the basketball season has gotten off to a great start, with KJ leading the way, as usual. So far the boys’ basketball team is undefeated, with no worthy adversaries in the local competition. I bet KJ can’t get enough compliments about his skills. And if I know Misty, she’s filling his big head with all of the bull it can hold. Misty’s skintight leather dress and matching boots are fierce, but a bit much for a girl our age. She looks like she should be working a corner somewhere, instead of attending a high school dance.
“I’ll check you later, girl. I’ve got to handle something real quick.” Before I can make it all the way across the gymnasium floor Nellie, Mickey, Nigel, and Chance walk in, temporarily distracting me from my goal. We should all be here together.
“Jayd, I’ve been looking for you all night. Did you just get here?” Rah asks, catching me off guard. Damn it. I don’t have time to explain shit to him. Right now I’ve got to get to Misty before her powers grow any stronger.
“I did. And I’m about to leave.” My jade bracelets fall down my arm, reminding me I’m on the clock.
“Wait a minute, girl. I got all dressed up and came here with flowers and shit, ready to dance with you all night, and you’re leaving?”
“I’m sorry, Rah. But you said you weren’t coming and I’ve got to get home. I’ve got business to tend to.”
“Business with Jeremy?”
“No. With my ancestors,” I say. Rah looks at me and then across the room at Misty. Now he gets the picture, and I’m glad. The last thing I need is another fight on my conscience. I don’t know exactly what Mama’s got planned, but whatever it is, I know I’m going to need my mind to be as clear as possible to deal with it.
“Do you need some help?” I thought he’d never ask.
“I could use a distraction for KJ.” Rah looks across the room and catches KJ and Misty groping each other like they’re in a motel room all alone. I catch Mickey looking at them, envious of their public display of affection. She and Nigel have lost that lustful feeling. KJ continues holding on to Misty’s backside like it’s going to leave if he lets go of it. Whatever spell Misty has him under is making me and everyone else sick to our stomachs.
“I got you.” Rah walks over to KJ and steps right into his face. “When’s our rematch?” Perfect. Talking about KJ’s humiliating loss to Rah will surely keep him preoccupied while I take care of my nemesis.
I walk over to the scene, noticing that the plastic cup in Misty’s hand is still full of punch. Good. It’ll be easy to get her to drink the potion if she hasn’t taken a sip yet. After all of that groping on the dance floor I’m sure she’ll be thirsty.
“I wish I had some single dollar bills on me,” I say, catching Misty’s attention. KJ and Rah are staring each other down.
“And I’d gladly take all of your money,” Misty says, smiling at me like she’s won some shit. Her blue eyes are shining bright tonight. Let’s see what they look like after she wakes up tomorrow morning. When Misty turns around to check on her date, I quickly pour the potion into her drink. She then downs the drink before returning to the dance floor without KJ, who’s now in a heated debate with Rah. I catch Rah’s eye to signal I’m out. My job here is done. The sooner I get back to Mama’s, the sooner this nightmare will be over.
I pull up to Mama’s house and notice that my mom hasn’t made it yet. My uncle Bryan looks like he’s headed to his night gig at the public access radio station and needs a ride.
“What’s up with you, little Jayd? You look nice,” he says, sitting on the front porch. As I make my way up the driveway I realize how tired I am.
“Nothing much. I’m just sick of going through shit, you know what I mean?” I step up next to him, ready to go inside.
“Going through what, Jayd? You’re not going through shit. As far as I can tell, it’s all in your head and you control that, if nothing else. You ain’t gotta go through shit you don’t want to. Most of us don’t have that luxury, niecey,” Bryan says, playfully punching me in the leg. He hasn’t called me that since I was a little girl. His new girlfriend is making him soft. I like it.
“When did you become so wise?” I ask, smacking him on the back of the head.
“Always been. You just didn’t know, shawty,” he says, getting up to meet his girlfriend at the curb. I guess he doesn’t need a ride after all, not that I would be of much help tonight. I open the front door and head to the back, ready for my date with destiny.
“Hey, Mama,” I say, entering her bedroom.
“Hey, baby. How did it go?” Mama asks, lighting nine whit
e candles and giving the room a warm feel.
“Perfectly.”
“Good. Now we just have to wait for your mother to get here.” Since we have some time to kill I decide to ask Mama about her past in the African village. There’s so much I don’t know about my grandmother.
“Mr. Adewale used to live somewhere called Oyotunji. Ever heard of it?” I ask. I plop down on my bed, ready for the scoop.
“Yes. I lived there briefly before I met your grandfather. Strange place,” she says, putting the matches down on the shrine.
“What happened?”
“A lot.” Mama shakes her head from side to side at the apparently stressful memory. “But I learned a lot about people’s character while I was there.”
“Maybe I should move there for a little while. I might know how to deal with Misty better.”
“Oh girl, Misty’s little mess is nothing compared to the women there. I once had this lady invite me to stay in her home. Now mind you, her family and friends had stayed with me before and I always hosted them to the best of my abilities. But this heffa changed her mind after I had already extended my trip to stay with her, and she said it was because Legba told her to do so. Jayd, there’s genuine purpose and then there’s everything else. Character dictates how a devotee behaves with orisha, and some people use the orisha as a way to excuse things they want or don’t want to do. If this were really the case with this lady, she would’ve asked Baba Legba before she offered me to stay in her home, not after. That’s just plain rudeness and cowardice.”
“But maybe she didn’t have a bad feeling until after she invited you to stay.” Mama looks at me sideways. I guess she already thought about that.
“Or maybe she wanted to appear hospitable while others were looking and then blame her actual intent on Legba, who’ll take the blame, but not without repercussion. Me showing my ass in the end wasn’t good either, but again it’s all call and response, action and reaction, and she was an elder. She should’ve known better, just like Esmeralda. Knowing when and how to ask the question is part of the wisdom in divination, Jayd. Anything else is a mockery of the system’s power.”