by Eliza Marsh
“Jacksonville Police! Get down on the ground!”
Lincoln raised his hands above his head and sighed in defeat before slowly lowering himself onto his stomach, groaning when he felt a knee slam into his back as an officer cuffed him.
“You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law...”
46
Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven. Breathe in, breathe out. In… out.
Lincoln grunted and did another push-up, trying to block out the sounds coming from the other prisoners. He had been stuck in a six by eight cell at the Jacksonville County jail for the past week, waiting to move to the Florida State Prison in Raiford. The thoughts running through his head were driving him mad. He couldn’t go to sleep at night if he wasn’t physically exhausted. The events leading up to his conviction kept flashing through his mind, and all he could do was continue with his push-ups.
Banging at the door to his cell startled him out of his reverie, and he looked over his shoulder. Seeing his door slide open, he got up and wiped his face, moving to the bed.
“You’ve got a visitor.”
Lincoln put his shirt on and stepped out, letting the guard pat him down. He was then led out of the cellblock and towards the visiting area. Looking through the bars, he could see Finn sitting at a table, arms crossed and gaze downcast.
“You’ve got twenty minutes.”
He nodded at the guard and made his way towards his visitor, not paying any mind to the heavy doors that closed behind him. Stopping in front of the table, he waited for the man to look at him and nodded his head in greeting.
“Finn.”
“Hey, brother.” The vice president got up to hug his friend, then sat back down in the cold, metal chair on one side of the table. “How've you been?”
Lincoln lifted one of his eyebrows, letting out a brief laugh. “I’m in jail. How do you think I've been?”
Finn gave him an apologetic look. “Come on, man, I didn’t mean anything by it. We’re all worried about you, especially Lana.”
Sighing when he heard his wife’s name, Lincoln nodded his head solemnly. “Yeah, I know.” He looked at the prisoners around him, talking to wives, sisters, mothers, and his heart clenched a bit. “How's she doing?”
“She’s… coping.” Taking a few pieces of paper from the inside pocket of his kutte, the blond man slid them across the table. “Bianca and Jackie are with her all the time, helping with the kids and stuff.”
“Tell them thanks for me, yeah?” The bigger man looked down, picking up the photos his friend had brought him. “He’s so big.” He breathed out the words, his gaze not moving from the first picture.
Lana was sitting in an old rocking chair, their son in her arms. She was looking down at little Benny, a radiant smile on her face. She had a few more worry lines and looked exhausted, but that didn’t detract from her beauty. The baby was yawning, with one tiny fist rubbing his eyes and his other hand reaching for his mother’s hair. They were both gorgeous, and Lincoln cursed his circumstances.
Flipping to the next photo, he smiled again. Lana was grinning at his daughter Addison. The little girl was holding her baby brother, standing proud in front of the camera. He was missing them already. The next three to five years were going to be hell.
Lincoln let out a gruff laugh, looking up at his companion. “Thanks, Finn. I appreciate these.”
“You’re welcome. Lana said she'd bring them up as soon as Benny was good to travel.”
“If it wasn’t for that punk Max… We shouldn’t have patched him in. He doesn’t have what it takes to be a King.”
“He’s out.” The blond man’s eyes turned cold, his expression hard. “Excommunicated.”
“You stripped his patch?”
“Of course. Did it as soon as we found out what happened.”
“Good move. That douche didn’t deserve his patch. What about the Saints?”
Finn glanced around for listening ears, leaning forward on his elbows to close the distance between them a little. "They're a bit pissed. Warehouse and all its contents are gone. They're scrambling to stay one step ahead of the Feds that rolled into town to investigate. Should keep them busy for a while."
"Any retaliation?"
"Not yet. Think they're trying to keep a low profile while under Big Brother's watchful eye. We'll see if they make a play once the heat dies down."
“Daniels!” Lincoln looked at the guard standing near the doors, motioning for him to exit the visitors’ area. “Time’s up. Come on.”
Rising from his chair, he looked at the man across the table. “Thanks, Finn. For the pictures and everything you’re doing for Lana.”
“Don’t worry. Your family is taken care of. Anything they need.” He nodded at his long-time friend. “Just look out for yourself while you’re in, okay?”
Making his way to the guard, Lincoln looked over his shoulder for the last time and nodded. “I’ll see you soon, brother.”
47
“What do you mean, 'you forgot?'” Jackie shouted into the phone as she paced around the apartment. “Tyler, I reminded you yesterday that I had an appointment this afternoon.”
“I know, and I'm sorry,” he replied, hardly sounding apologetic. “Some stuff came up at the garage, and there's just no way I'm gonna be able to take you.”
She made a noise of frustration, then sighed in defeat. “Whatever. I'll just call Bianca-”
“No, no. Don't worry. I got it all figured out for you. Someone should be there to pick you up any second.”
“Tyler-”
“It'll be fine. Trust me.”
A knock echoing through her apartment halted any chance of an argument, and she went to open the door. To say that she was surprised to see the tattooed Macon biker standing uncomfortably in the hall, hands shoved into his jean pockets, would be an understatement. In retrospect, she should have seen this last-ditch attempt at getting them to talk coming from a mile away.
“You're such an asshole,” she said coldly to Tyler, waving a hand casually at Dean as he looked at her in confusion.
“Gotta go. Play nice.” Tyler's excited tone as he hung up made it clear that this was his plan all along.
Rolling her eyes, she smiled at the man in her doorway. “Hi.”
“Hey. I'm guessing Tyler didn't tell you I was coming.”
“Nope. He just loves to keep me guessing. But it's fine. Let me just get my bag.”
“Right. Where am I taking you anyways?” Jackie stopped mid-turn, silently cursing Tyler in her head for not telling him the details. “He just asked if I could pick you up since you haven't had a chance to get a new car yet.”
“Uhm, it's an appointment with the OB... for the baby.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked with a hint of worry.
“Yeah, the baby is good. It's just a check-up. The doctor wants to make sure everything is still working like it's supposed to after the car accident.”
“Oh... well, that's good.”
“You know what, I can just call Bianca. You don't need to take me.”
“No, it's okay. I don't mind.” He ran a hand through his chin-length dark hair awkwardly. “Besides, I borrowed her cage so you wouldn't have to ride on the back of my bike.”
“Well, you can just drive me to the garage, and she can take me from there.”
“I can handle it, Jackie. Now hurry up and get your stuff. You don't want to be late.”
Sighing reluctantly, she picked up her bag and keys before locking the door behind them and heading to the stairs.
The ride to the doctor’s office was filled with basic small talk and the occasional bout of silence. Jackie was glad that they had managed to remain amicable in the days since he arrived in Lakeside. She had always imagined an epic showdown would occur should they ever meet again, but it was quite the opposite. It was almost as if they had never been apart, save for the baby now
added into the mix.
It made her miss their old life back in Macon. The thought of giving the baby up crossed her mind again. But she knew things would never go back to the way they were, even with the baby gone.
Arriving at their destination a few minutes later, Dean parked the car and shut it off.
“You can wait out here until I'm done,” Jackie said as she opened the door to get out. “I totally understand you not wanting to come in.”
“I'll walk you upstairs,” he replied, exiting the car as well. “I can just sit in the waiting area.”
“You sure? I'm completely capable of going by myself.”
“Yeah, but just my luck, the elevator would get stuck, and you'd go into labor or something.”
She pinned him with a look as she hoisted her bag higher on her shoulder. “And what exactly would you do to help the situation if you were there? Have you been taking child delivery classes in your spare time?”
“How'd you guess?” he asked sarcastically and paused just outside of the entrance doors.
Jackie stopped halfway inside and watched his hesitation sympathetically. “Dean, you really don't have to come in.”
He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. Going inside would solidify the fact that Jackie was actually pregnant. It would completely ruin his ridiculous theory that she was just eating too much junk food and getting fat.
It made everything so real.
“I'm fine,” he finally said and stepped into the medical building. They made their way up to the office on the fourth floor, and Jackie checked in at the front desk. Dean watched a woman only a few months into her pregnancy and her husband as they waited in chairs. Both of them were smiling joyfully and discussing how they were going to decorate the nursery as they looked through a magazine for first-time parents.
“Hey.” Jackie placed a hand on his arm to get his attention. “You want to sit down?” He nodded slowly, and they joined the other couple.
“Oh my goodness!” The wholesome woman in her early thirties exclaimed. “You are so beautiful. How far along are you?”
Jackie smiled and laid a hand on her stomach. “About twenty-two weeks.”
“You must be so excited, dad,” the husband said to the biker with a wink. Dean sat in stunned silence, having no idea how to respond. Thankfully, he didn't have to as the doctor chose that moment to walk into the room and call their name.
“Jackie, it's so lovely to see you again.” Doctor Christian Hodge cheerfully pulled her in for a quick hug as the pair approached him. “And who is this lovely gentleman?” he asked with a raised eyebrow as he took in her companion's appearance.
“This is Dean, my uh... baby daddy. Dean, this is Doctor Hodge.” The biker's only response was a grunt and a slight nod.
“It is such a pleasure to finally meet you, Dean,” Christian said with a hint of sarcasm and a bright smile. “Well, come on back.” He motioned for the pair to follow him down the hall. “Let's go take a look at the youngster.” When Dean made no move to join them, the doctor turned and looked at him expectantly. “Well, come on, dad. Don't you want to see your kid?”
Dean stood where he was, his brain refusing to put any words together as yet another person referred to him as a parent with complete and utter confidence. Thankfully, Jackie came to his rescue. “We're not actually together,” she said quietly, sending a soft smile to the tattooed man. “He just got roped into driving me today. He's just gonna wait here.”
Christian sighed and closed the distance between Dean and himself. “Son, let me give you a little piece of wisdom I've picked up. Every father that refused to go in and see their flesh and blood on the screen has regretted it. It doesn't matter if you're going to be in the kid's life or not. I think you should see this.”
The two men stared at each other for what seemed like hours, one set of eyes hard and steely, the other kind and knowing. Jackie could only stand to the side and watch as Dean finally relented with a nod.
With a smile, the doctor turned and led the way down the hall. Dean leaned down towards Jackie, keeping his eyes on the man in front of them. “Who the hell is this guy? Did they run out of lady docs or something?”
She rolled her eyes as they entered an exam room. “Relax, he's Bianca's gynecologist.” She smiled and patted him on the chest before hopping up onto the table. Dean got situated on a stool in the corner, putting as much distance between himself and the monitor as he could.
“Alright, let's take a look at the little angel, shall we?” The doctor set up the ultrasound machine and had the picture on the screen within a few minutes. “There it is. Seems to be as healthy as ever.” Jackie breathed a sigh of relief, thankful the crash hadn't done any damage to the baby. “Would you like to know the gender?”
She thought about it for a moment, then nodded her head excitedly. “That would be great.”
He moved the adapter around on her stomach to get the best view, then smiled triumphantly as he saw what he was looking for. “That is, without a doubt, a boy.”
Jackie grinned with watery eyes, elated at the news. “My very own little hellion,” she whispered softly as she stared at the monitor. “What do you think, Dean?” When she got no answer, she turned her head to look at him.
Dean was sitting with his elbows braced on his knees and his chin balanced on the palm of his hand, eyes glued to the screen. He said nothing, merely watched as the baby moved.
“I'll just leave you two alone for a few minutes,” the doctor said as he froze the picture on the monitor for them to see and put the rest of the equipment back on the cart before exiting the room.
“Dean?”
He got off of the stool and slowly walked over to the monitor, placing himself in front of it. He held his hand up to the image on the screen and compared the size of his palm to the baby. “It's so tiny. He... he's so tiny. Holy shit.” Jackie watched silently as he marveled over the picture. “That's not mine... can't be mine... Why aren't you freaking out?” He turned momentarily to look at her, waiting for a response.
“I freaked out four months ago, I promise.”
He moved his attention back to the monitor, bracing his hands on either side of the ultrasound cart and resting his forehead against the screen. “A fucking baby... ” he whispered hoarsely, not moving from his position. “Do you think he'll turn out like me? Some cold-blooded asshole that kills people for a living?”
Jackie smiled sadly and silently moved off of the bed to stand behind him, resting a comforting hand on his leather-clad back. “If he's even half the man you are, he'll be damn lucky. Because you're honest and loyal, and you're willing to do anything for your club. Even kill. But you're a good guy. I don't regret anything that happened between us.”
And she honestly didn’t. She was still scared, she still had her doubts about him, but deep down, she did know that he was a good guy. He did what he did, but as Bianca had said, he did it for his family.
He finally broke his gaze from the image of his unborn child and looked down at her. “But what if I regret letting you leave? What if I wake up in six months, and I'm just as angry and confused as I am now? What if I'm supposed to make you stay?”
“You're not supposed to do anything. You do what you want to do.” She tilted her head and stared at him curiously. “So, what do you want?”
Dean stood there in silence like he had many times in the past hour, once again at a loss for words. He had never really stopped to ask himself what he wanted. It had always been 'What's best for the club?' and 'What does the club need?' Rarely was he ever concerned about what it was that he wanted.
“I want to be happy,” he replied simply with a shrug of his broad shoulders. “And the club makes me happy.” Jackie could only nod in response, knowing he would say something like that. “But for the year that I spent with you, I was happier than ever. And I don't know what it is, but you make me so fucking happy. I don't know if it's because you're so damn hot or because you can cut
right through all the bullshit, or maybe just 'cause you don't see me the way the guys do.”
Jackie nodded again, leaning against the exam table behind her. “I don't want you to feel obligated to be a part of this baby's life in any way. But I also don't want you to keep doubting your decisions. If you want time to think about, take the time. If you don't want to be involved, that's fine too. The club comes first, and I get that.”
“Yeah, the club is my family.” He stared down at her growing stomach, trying to imagine what the baby would look like in a few months. “But so are you... and so is he.”
“Dean, if there's some part of you that wants to be a dad, nobody's stopping you. I just assumed... that you wouldn't want him.”
“A year ago, I would have said that you'd assumed right, no question. Now? I don't know anymore. Look at me, though. What the hell kind of father would I make?”
“The kind that takes his infant son on a motorcycle ride even though his mother has repeatedly told you not to?” They laughed, and he nodded his head in agreement. “How about we just take it one day at a time? We can figure something out for the next few months, at least until the baby is born. You can see how you feel then.”
Dean shook his head, tempted by the offer, but knowing it wasn't the best solution. “That isn't fair to you or him.”
She shrugged slightly, trying to suggest an option that wouldn't scare him off. “Well, you two not getting the chance to meet also wouldn't be fair. Besides, what else have I got to do? I can barely see my feet as it is. Might as well stay in one place until this little demon makes his appearance.”
He watched her closely, eyed the way she sat lightly on the bed, her gaze compassionate and understanding despite the situation. It was some kind of miracle that the two of them had gotten involved with each other in the first place. And now they were getting the chance to bring a life into the world, to raise their own flesh and blood. He would never get another shot at this, he knew that for a fact. He just didn't have it in himself to pass up the opportunity, as scary as it was.