by Terra Kelly
“Painting? Hmmmm... I’ll give it a go but I’m not great at painting.”
Lexie perked up. “You don’t have to be good, it just for fun. Can we go, Momma?”
“I think we should. Maybe Alex will paint his own cereal bowl!”
“Oh yes! Want to see ours?”
Lexie hopped up and went to cupboard. Alyssa handed Lexie her cereal bowl to show Alex. Her bowl was painted in a variety colors with many lines and shapes.
Alex took the bowl from Lexie to inspect. “This is an awesome cereal bowl, maybe I should have you paint mine?”
Lexie smiled and took her bowl back. “No, no, you have to make your own special bowl.”
“I do, huh? So where is your momma’s special bowl?”
Alyssa walked over to show her bowl to Alex. “Just a simple bowl and not as pretty as Lexie’s.” Alyssa’s bowl was painted red and had little white hearts around the outside rim.
Alex pulled her down onto his lap. “It’s beautiful!” He leaned into her and kissed her temple. “Well, what are we waiting for, let’s go paint a cereal bowl!”
Lexie jumped up and down. “Yay, let’s go!”
They were all buckled in the pickup and heading to the “Paint Your Heart Out” store. Lexie was in the back holding Sammy Bear. She decided she better have him with her just in case something made her momma cry. Out of the blue she asked, “Alex, what is your favorite color?”
“Purple. What’s your favorite color?” he asked, reaching over to squeeze Alyssa’s hand.
Lexie raised her hands up in the air while kicking her legs back and forth. She yelled. “Pink.”
Alex laughed. “Pink? That is so girlie. Why not red or green?”
“Nope! I a girl and I love pink.”
“She does like pink. Have you seen her in any other color?”
Alex tipped his head back and laughed. “Okay, okay, pink is your color. What about, momma?”
Lexie sounded so excited. “Yes Momma, what is your favorite color?”
Alyssa looked over at Alex and combed his hair behind his ear. Then rubbed his neck with a feather weight touch. “Forest green.”
Alex was having difficulty concentrating, her touch was making sitting very uncomfortable. He whispered so only Alyssa could hear, “Um, baby, you may want to wait till later to do what you are doing?” Then he grabbed her hand and placed it over his ever-growing erection. “Because you are making it very hard for me to concentrate.” He laughed. “Can I request that movement tonight along with maybe a massage?”
Alyssa fanned herself. “Oh my, Mr. Winters, you sure know how to make a girl blush.” The hand Alex was holding, she started to move her thumb back and forth. “What kind of massage do you need? Full body or just one specific area?”
Alex sucked in a breath. “Definitely full body.”
Alyssa continued moving her thumb back and forth. “That can be arranged.”
Lexie was chatting to Sammy bear, and asked, “Momma, isn’t that the paint place?”
Alex and Alyssa looked at the building to the right of them. “Yes it is, baby girl.” She then removed her hand away from Alex. “Let’s pick out something for your room we can paint? How does that sound?”
“Super fun! Maybe they have a little bear to paint?”
Alex got out first and went around to open Alyssa’s door. He helped her out and pulled her into his embrace. “Pay backs are not fun, Ms. Benson.” Then he slammed his mouth over hers for an intense kiss. When he ended the kiss, he walked over to get Alexandra out of her car seat.
Alyssa felt frozen in place, unable to speak. How was she supposed to act normal after that encounter? His lips were addicting. Tonight could not come fast enough.
Alex had Lexie in his arms, laughed as he grabbed Alyssa’s hand, and pulled her toward the store. “Paint Your Heart Out” had every kind of ceramic imaginable. Plus, they had every color under the rainbow to choose from. Alex picked out the same cereal bowl as Alyssa and painted it blue and green.
Lexie was looking at all the little ceramic figurines. She fell in love with a figurine that reminded her of Sammy bear. She wanted to paint her bear brown with a blue bow tie.
Lexie was sitting across from Alex. She had her head bent and was brushing the brown color on her bear. She looked up, “Momma, can you help me with the tie?”
Alyssa smiled and reached over to grab the little delicate paint brush. “Sure, sweet pea. It’s a tiny little spot.” She painted the little bow. “How’s that, baby girl?”
“Yay, Momma! It looks just like Sammy Bear.”
Alex was finishing his bowl. He made strips of green and blue around it. “Ta-da!” He held his bowl up. “What do you both think?”
Lexie ran over to Alex to inspect it. “I love it! It’s pretty.”
They turned in their projects to be cooked in the kiln and planned to pick them up Thursday. On their way out, Lexie went in between Alex and Alyssa and grabbed their hands. She held their hands tight and swung back and forth. “I’m hungry.”
They tried out a cute little Italian restaurant. It was decided between the three of them- something not barbecue or pizza. The restaurant was not far from Alyssa’s house but she had never tried their food. The menu was simple and there was a glassed-in cabinet full of several varieties of homemade gelato.
Lexie had crayons and a children’s menu full of pictures to color. She was busy coloring a picture of a big bowl of gelato that was dripping over the side of a bowl. Alyssa leaned into Lexie. “That looks wonderful, Sweetie. Do you know what you want to eat? Maybe spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce?”
Lexie was holding her crayon in both hands with her elbows resting on the table. Her legs were swinging back and forth on the chair. “Saghetti, please, Momma.”
“Sounds perfect. Now what do I want for dinner?” She looked across the table to Alex. “Do you know what you want? Everything looks so good.” She bent her head to go back over the menu.
When the waitress arrived to take their order, they were all still perusing the menu. “Hi there, do you need help with deciding tonight?” She was younger, maybe about sixteen. She seemed pleasant and was very helpful answering their questions.
Alyssa ordered the large bowl of chicken Caesar salad with a side of homemade bread. Alex tried their bowtie pasta bake with grilled steak, roasted vegetables, provolone cheese, and a creamy tomato base sauce.
Alex leaned back in his chair and smiled. “So, what games are we playing in the fort today?”
Lexie asked, “Can we play Chutes and Ladders?”
Alyssa laughed. “You miss playing that game? It has been a few days since we enjoyed it together.”
Lexie just matter-of-factly replied, “Too long.” Then she went back to coloring.
Alyssa and Alex looked at each other and chuckled. Alyssa reached her hand across the table and grabbed his hand in her own. “Will you stay tonight?”
Alex was hoping she would ask but didn’t want to approach the subject himself. He gave his heart stopping grin. “I thought you would never ask.”
Alyssa’s eyes changed from caramel to black. Her breathing had increased. “I’m hoping you stay over more often, but I am the needy one.”
Alex reached his other hand over and placed it on top of hers. He said no words, just sat there looking into those desirable eyes. A few moments later the waitress walked to their table with a big tray holding all their food. Alex and Alyssa separated their hands and leaned back to make room for their plates. Everything smelled amazing.
Alyssa took a bite and moaned. “They make their own Caesar dressing. I love the hints of anchovy in each bite.” She grabbed another forkful and leaned in to let Alex try a bite. “So good, right?”
Alex was chewing and shaking his head at the same time. When he took a bite of his meal, he put his fork down, and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “Wow, that’s all I got.” Then he did the same as Alyssa and let her try his pasta bake.
“Holy cats, that is good. How about you little one, is it everything and a bag of chips?” She reached her fork over to steal a bite of Lexie’s meal. “Oh goodness me, those meatballs have some serious flavor.” She grabbed one more bite and just shook her head. “This place may become our go-to restaurant.”
Alex continued eating his meal, but realized at that moment he was in deep. She had just used the word “our” in a sentence. It seemed like a simple word, but in that moment, it felt like his whole world had just shifted on its axis. Not too long ago those words would have sent him running for the hills. Instead, he had this desire to share her with the world. Show everyone she was his and only his. He sat down his fork, grabbed his napkin, then looked up at Alyssa. “What do you do for Thanksgiving?” He had decided at that moment, he wanted his family to meet this amazing woman and her daughter.
Alyssa stopped mid-way to her mouth with the forkful of food. The thought of Thanksgiving, family, happiness, it all freaked her out. “Um, well, nothing. We stay home, snuggle, and watch silly shows together.” How could she tell him that Thanksgiving used to be her favorite holiday? She and Derek would make a big elaborate meal and both families would join in the festivities. Suddenly, she needed air. She rose from the table abruptly and knocked over her water glass. “I’m sorry. I just need to use the restroom for a moment.” She tried to clean up the mess but her hands were shaking too much. “Sorry... excuse me.”
Alex didn’t know what to do and he couldn’t leave Lexie at the table. “Hey, pretty girl, want to go for pony ride?” He walked over and bent down to grab her and placed her on his back. “We need to go see if momma is okay. Do you have Sammy Bear with you?”
Lexie looked shaken when her momma walked away. Her lip trembled just a little. “No, he’s in the car. Can we get him for momma?”
“We sure can sweet pea, hang on tight.” The waitress was walking by at that moment. Alex reached into his wallet and handed her some cash. “We will be back in a moment. Can you box everything up for us?”
The waitress never missed a beat. “Sure can, take your time, sir.”
Alex went to the car to retrieve Sammy bear. Then he went in the direction Alyssa had run off to. She was across the street sitting on a park bench, her head was hung low, and her shoulders were shaking. He reached over his shoulder to bring Lexie down. “Hold my hand honey, we need to cross the street.” Once they were across. “Maybe you should go see your momma alone and give her Sammy Bear.”
Alexandra didn’t miss a beat; she ran straight to her momma. Alyssa looked up, startled. “Lexie! Oh baby, I’m sorry.”
Lexie touched her momma’s cheek. “It okay Momma. I’m here for you.”
Alyssa melted into Lexie and continued to cry. Alex walked over, sat beside them, and pulled them both into his embrace. He never said a word, just held her tight.
Several minutes had passed. Alyssa was worn out, cried out, and just wanted to go home. She looked up. “Can we go home?”
Alex gave an ever so slight smile. “Definitely. I need to go finish paying our bill at the restaurant. Then I can drop you and Lexie off.”
Alyssa looked up at Alex with her tear streaked, swollen eyes. “You will stay, right? I need you tonight.”
That was all Alex needed to hear. “Anything you need, Alyssa. I’m here if you need me. I didn’t know if you wanted to be alone.”
She touched the side of his face. “We don’t want to be alone anymore, right, baby girl?”
Lexie smiled. “Yup, no alone!”
Chapter 8
When they arrived at Alyssa’s home, Alex helped Lexie get down from the pickup, then she ran to the door. Alyssa smiled and went to unlock the door. Alex came up behind Alyssa and grabbed her around her waist. He pulled her close to him. “Do you want to talk about it?” He turned her in his arms to face him. “I guess I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”
Alyssa placed her hands on his biceps. “Alex, I want you to know you did nothing wrong. The word “Thanksgiving” just triggered several memories. All memories of when I was still with Derek that I have tried to keep hidden.”
Alex looked a little confused. “Why would you want to keep those memories hidden? I mean, the happy memories.”
She leaned up on her tip-toes and kissed him. Then she moved from his embrace to head into the kitchen. She had a feeling it would be a long night, and she needed coffee. So many happy memories were bottled up inside her and it was time to share them with Alex.
Alex was behind her and walked to the barstool at the kitchen island to sit down. He had a feeling today was the start of something new. It was time for them to talk and share about the past. He knew his life was sunshine, rainbows, and happy puppies, compared to her life. But no matter what, all he cared about was finding happiness for Alyssa.
She busied herself by making coffee, then walked around the island to sit down beside Alex. “You know, it’s funny. Not what happened today, just many things.” She had her head down and grabbed Alex’s hand to fidget with his fingers. “For the last two years, I have shut so much out. I would try to forget my time before the accident, thinking that would help my pain. It never worked because I’m unable to forget. Derek is always with me, especially when I look at Alexandra.”
Alex lifted her chin to meet his eyes. “No one would ever expect you to forget Derek. He was an important part of your life. and you both created an amazing little girl. I would never expect you to forget him or not talk about him. I want to know who he was.” He touched her hand to stop her from fidgeting. “He had to be amazing because I can see how much you loved him. So instead of forgetting, make room in your heart for him. He is a part of who you are. If people struggle with you talking about him, they are not people you want included in your life.”
She felt a lump form in her throat. “You’re okay if I told stories to Lexie? Or maybe something reminded me of my time with him, so I share that memory?”
“Absolutely! I would love to learn more about your life before the accident. And I think you should share stories with Lexie. That is her dad, she deserves to know all about him.” He smiled and turned to face her. “If you give me a chance, I would love to know everything about you. I would love to share everything about myself. I’m an open book, so I’m willing to share anytime.”
Alyssa leaned up and kissed him, then she rose to go grab a cup of coffee. She had her back to him and felt tears threaten to surface. How did she get so lucky with Alex? She cleared her throat. “I want to share all about myself with you. Let me start with the word “Thanksgiving.” She stood opposite Alex at the kitchen island. “But I would love for you to share first, why you started the conversation?”
“Well, Thanksgiving and Christmas are important to my parents. So, my soon-to-be-Sister-in-Law called me a few days ago and asked what we were doing for Thanksgiving?”
Alyssa leaned forward with her hands resting on the counter, her head was bent. She cleared her throat. “This time of year used to make me so happy. I can remember how crazy I was about decorations, holiday recipes, and getting excited for snow.” She leaned back, lifted her head to look at Alex. “Derek was crazy about the holiday season, too.” She laughed. “We would have little competitions to see who could find the silliest decorations or best recipe.” Grabbing her mug of coffee and walking around to sit beside Alex. She smiled. “We lived in a lovely two story home that was set back in the woods. So, you can only imagine the amount of decorations we put up and the lights we used could guide a small plane to safety.” She sat there for a moment remembering. “Both our families loved our excitement. We would plan our holiday dinner two months in advance. I watched every food show I could find trying to plan the perfect menu. Both our parents were okay with having both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner at our house. He had two brothers and one sister that would always visit. My two sisters lived in town, we were all three close. So, they would join in my crazy holiday obsession.” She took a drink o
f her coffee, then smiled. “When the holidays were over, I always felt relief and sadness.”
She looked up into those mesmerizing eyes. “I haven’t celebrated either holiday since the accident.”
Alex looked a little stunned. “At all? Not even a few Christmas lights or homemade cranberry sauce?”
“Nothing. Which, stating that now, I know it sounds absurd. I couldn’t find it in me to get excited. At the cafe, I would pretend to be happy for the holiday season.”
Alex put his hand on her thigh, just to have contact. “What about Lexie?”
Alyssa sighed. “Oh, she has questions all the time. Who is Santa? What are presents? She was too young to remember celebrating. I told her not everyone celebrates the holiday season, and she seemed fine with that explanation.” She felt embarrassed. “Do you think I’m a horrible mom for not celebrating Christmas with my daughter?”
Alex turned his chair so his knees were touching hers. He pulled her to her feet and had her sit on his lap. He pulled her close to him and she snuggled into his embrace. “You’re an amazing mother, who went through something horrific. If someone thought you were horrible, they have never lost someone close to them.” He pulled her back to look into her caramel eyes. “I have an idea. How about you reclaim the holidays you loved so much? Celebrate your favorite time of the year? I think Derek would want you to be happy and that would make you happy.” He brushed her hair back away from her face. “What do you say?” He turned them both to face the living room. Lexie was having an animated talk with her toys, playing in the fort. “She would understand why you waited to celebrate until now. She would be so excited to write to Santa and pick out presents she would want.”
Alyssa just watched her daughter play, as a single tear escaped. “Can I make one request?”
He wiped the tear away. “Anything, love.”