Jordan moved closer to the water, searching. Despair was settling over her shoulders, moving through her veins, freezing her blood.
“Fox!”
Jordan whirled at the cry, running up the riverbank toward the shout. Relief speared her heart. Fox raced ahead of her, splashing into the water.
Mary Kate was just holding her head out of the rushing water, clinging to the rock Jordan had moved. Jordan collapsed by her side, grabbing the girl and holding her, rocking her slightly. She stroked Mary Kate’s hair, relief filling her. A sob escaped her lips as she held Mary Kate tightly. They had made it. She would be all right!
Fox bent and attempted to lift the tree. “When I lift, Jordan...”
Jordan nodded.
Fox groaned and attempted to lift the tree. But it remained on Mary Kate’s leg.
Jordan released Mary Kate, making sure the child was positioned on the rock so her head was above the water, and moved to Fox’s side. She put her hands beneath the tree.
Lightning lit the sky and the rain pelted them.
“Ready? Go,” Fox said.
They pulled together. Jordan lifted with everything she could. She strained at the tree as hard as she could, pulling it up. The tree budged and then they lifted it.
“Move your foot, Mary Kate,” Jordan said.
The girl slid her foot out and slipped, going under the water. Jordan released the tree and seized Mary Kate’s arm, hauling her away from the tree. Fox held the tree as long as he could and then released it when they were clear, stepping away from the falling log.
Jordan pulled Mary Kate from the water, holding the shivering child to her. The girl was crying, her small arms wrapped around Jordan’s shoulders.
Jordan sobbed into Mary Kate’s hair.
Fox put his hand on Mary Kate’s head. “Are you all right?”
Mary Kate nodded her head.
Jordan leaned into Fox to find herself trembling with relief. His arm swept around her, holding her close for a long moment. “It’s all right,” he murmured, his voice strangely soothing.
***
From the bushes, a one-eyed man watched with interest and joy. I can use a new horse and a good set of armor, he thought, grinning.
***
Jordan’s eyes were still red with worry and tears long after they reached the meal room. A fire had been lit in the hearth, and Mary Kate was sleeping curled up in a ball, exhausted.
But it wasn’t Mary Kate who held Fox’s gaze. It was Jordan. She was soaking wet, a blanket wrapped around her slumped shoulders. Her hair hung in long waves until it disappeared beneath the blanket. She was looking at her hands, which had finally stopped trembling.
Fox moved from his place near the hearth and sat at her side on the bench. “I’m sorry, Jordan,” Fox whispered. “If it hadn’t been for me, Mary Kate never would have left. I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
Jordan placed her hand comfortingly atop his.
For a long moment, they said nothing.
“I couldn’t move the tree,” Jordan said. There were tears in her voice and her chin quivered.
“It’s all right, Jordan,” Fox said quietly. “Mary Kate is safe.”
She sniffed. “You don’t understand. There was nothing I could do. Just like Maggie. I thought...” She shook her head. “If I didn’t find you...”
She looked at him and Fox’s heart broke. Her blue eyes glistened like diamonds. Jordan leaned her head against his shoulder, exhausted. She smelled of clean rain and forest. He rested his cheek against her hair for a long moment. His arm went around her of its own accord, rubbing her arm to warm her, holding her.
Jordan lifted her head to him and opened her mouth as if to say something. But no words came out. Fox found his gaze sweeping her face, every precious inch of it, flawless in its perfection. Her eyebrows arched slightly over her large blue eyes. Her pert nose almost touched his, her soft breath fanning across his lips. Her lips, so red and perfectly bowed, so luscious and ripe...
Fox leaned closer until her blue eyes took up his entire view, a sea of vibrant caring life. So generous in her giving, so caring in her unselfishness. Just to touch her perfection would be like touching heaven. Fox’s lips touched hers, a gentle stroke, an innocent mating. He pulled back slightly to study her face, looking for disgust or any sign of pity. But he found neither, only curiosity and trust.
Something so strong and forceful Fox was unable to control took over. He pulled her to him, crushing her against him, holding her as he had longed to for ten years.
He kissed her lips urgently, tasting her innocence. He touched her soul with his need. And Jordan answered as she had always answered, unselfish in her giving. Her arms wrapped around him, the blanket falling to the bench behind her. Her wet clothing had molded completely to her skin, and her body molded completely to his.
Fox’s hand moved to the nape of her neck, pulling her close to him. He could not get enough of her. Her kiss warmed him where he had never been warm.
He could feel the beating of her heart as if it were his own. God’s blood! Fox thought. I want her so fiercely, like nothing I have ever felt before. He pulled back suddenly, fearful of losing himself to her.
Her eyes were full of dazed confusion. Fox could have kissed her again and again, perhaps even taken her right there. But he couldn’t. He moved away from her.
Jordan straightened, drawing herself farther away from Fox.
Fox ignored the need raging inside his body. He couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t force her to live the way he had to live... in disgrace, like a common thief. She was a lady and deserved better, no matter how much he wanted her. He could never even fantasize she could be his. It would be far too painful.
He looked away from her, staring at Mary Kate on the floor. Jordan had saved the child’s life, risking her own freedom, to save her. Jordan deserved far better than the way Fox had treated her.
“Fox, did I –”
Fox interrupted her. “I will take you back to Ruvane Village,” he said quietly. “As you requested.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Fox was going to take her back to Ruvane village. Jordan should have been happy. After all, this was what she had been asking for, to see the children. But Fox was distancing himself from her, releasing her to let her go back to her life -- back to Evan.
Jordan sat for a long time, trying to comprehend her feelings. The thought of Evan was like being doused with cold water, especially after she had tasted Fox’s passion. She was anything but happy. She touched her lips, staring into the dying fire. How could Fox kiss her like that and have it mean nothing? How could he just let her go? She was not happy, not elated, just very confused by the emotions stirring inside her.
He was forsaking his title and his lands by letting her go. Why would he do that, especially after making it clear that they meant everything to him? She was his means to gaining at least the land.
Jordan stood and marched out of the meal room. She had to know. She moved down the hallway toward the spiral stairway. The corridors were dark except for the light of the moon shining in through the second floor windows. Jordan marched up the stairway, having to feel her way up the stone tower. She emerged onto the second floor and walked toward Fox’s door.
He wouldn’t get away with it. He couldn’t throw away his chance at getting back what was his.
A figure emerged into a patch of moonlight before her, startling her.
The figure wore the long brown robe of a monk. Jordan quickly halted. Michael. She swallowed and looked at Fox’s door just down the hallway. If she called out, Fox would come. But something made her stay silent.
“Stay away from him, witch,” Michael commanded.
His tone of voice, the degradation in his words, wounded her. “What have I done to you, Michael?”
“Don’t dare to be innocent with me! I see through your facade, demon. I see through it where Fox cannot.”
“What have I done
that you treat me as an enemy?” she demanded.
“You are the devil’s own work.” Michael touched his forehead, his stomach, and each shoulder, making the sign of the cross before her. “I vow to protect my brother against you.”
“I love him, Michael.”
The look in Michael’s eyes seemed to grow darker, more dangerous. “Love?” Michael spat. “What do you know of love?”
“I loved you, Michael,” Jordan said softly. “Like a brother. I protected you and –”
“Abandoned Fox!” Michael shouted. “Is that love? Was it love that made you remain silent while our life was stripped away?”
Jordan felt the guilt rise within her once again. “I gave my word,” she whispered.
“You could have at least come to our defense! Instead you turned your back on us.”
“Turned my back?” Jordan gasped. “How can you say that? You were there! It was because of you that I...” Jordan stopped, shutting her mouth quickly. “It was all to save you, Michael,” she whispered.
Michael scowled in confusion. “Me?” His anger seemed to dissipate. He looked away, his face filling with tortured agony.
“Don’t you remember?”
He rubbed his brow. “I... I...” He shook his head fiercely. “It was a long time ago. I was just a boy. I remember that the baron was in my room. But...” He shook his head again. “Evan...”
“Evan?” Jordan echoed. What had Evan to do with it? “Michael –” She stepped toward him.
He backed away quickly and his anger suddenly resurfaced. “Your words cannot sway me! Be gone, witch!”
“I’m leaving tomorrow, Michael.” Even to her own ears, her voice sounded heavy.
“Good.” There was no emphasis or conviction behind the word. He rubbed his forehead again. “You will stay far away from Fox until then.”
She looked at him quietly for a moment, then turned and retraced her steps, leaving Michael alone in the hallway.
***
Later, Jordan sat in the meal room, her head bowed. Suddenly, something white moved past the door. Jordan lifted hear gaze, but the doorway was empty.
Then a ghost appeared there.
Jordan stood quickly, taking a few involuntary steps backward and putting her hand protectively over her heart. But when the ghost moved deeper into the room, she saw it was only Beau dressed in a white robe.
“Are you all right, m’lady?” Beau asked.
“Why are you dressed all in white?” she wondered.
Beau smiled sheepishly and indicated the robe. “I’m the ghost of Castle Mercer,” he said. “We take turns wearing it and walking the battlements so the villagers think the castle is haunted.”
Jordan smiled. Everything was making sense. The traps set in the hallway for inquisitive intruders, the ghost of Castle Mercer. It was all part of an elaborate plan to keep visitors away. She retook her seat.
“If you don’t mind my saying, you look as miserable as Fox.” Beau sat beside Jordan.
Jordan remained silent, studying a piece of lint on her wrinkled dress.
“That’s what Fox says, too. The two of you must have long, involved conversations.”
“I’m going back tomorrow,” Jordan whispered.
Jordan could feel Beau’s quizzical gaze on her.
“I thought that was what you wanted,” Beau said.
Jordan wanted to see the children, yes. But something more powerful, something she couldn’t fight, wanted to stay with Fox. Her shoulders slumped. She couldn’t do both. What would she do if she had to choose? Jordan dropped her head to her hands. The choice was simple, really. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t return to the children, but her heart would ache for the rest of her life without Fox.
“I know this seems like a terrible way to live,” Beau commented. “Barely any light, no fires. Having to scrounge for food. But Fox would do anything for us.” Beau looked at the stone ceiling, putting his hands behind his head. “When Vaughn captured me, I knew Fox would get me out. I had no doubts.” He looked at her. “And he did.”
Jordan slowly lifted her head to look at him. “It’s not a bad way to live,” Jordan said. “Surrounded by people you trust.”
“It’s just not the way you’re used to living.”
“That’s not it,” Jordan said softly. “I have people to look after, people who depend on me. My children.”
“You have to do what you feel you must,” Beau said. “No matter how hard the decision.”
Jordan looked at him. She wanted to cry. She wanted to die. She could not stay with Fox. And she knew she couldn’t.
Beau stood and moved to the doorway. “Michael has gone to bed,” he told her softly.
Jordan lifted shocked eyes to him.
His grin was lopsided. “The ghost of Castle Mercer knows everything.” And with that he disappeared down the hallway.
Jordan rose immediately and moved down the hallway to the spiral stairway. She had to tell Fox why she couldn’t stay. He had to understand. She would give anything to stay with him... anything except for her children.
Jordan moved up the stairway to the dark hall. She half expected Michael to be there, waiting for her, but no form materialized from the darkness. No one moved to stop her as she made her way to Fox’s door.
She opened the door and entered the room, closing the door behind her. As she turned back into the room, a shadowed demon rose before her and a flash of light glinted in her eyes. The darkness concealed his features, cloaking him in blackness. He stepped from the bed, holding a weapon before him.
Jordan stood her ground as the blade neared her throat. Death was nothing compared to the agony consuming her.
A shaft of moonlight shone through the partially open shutters and Fox stepped into it, shedding the darkness like a cloak. He tossed his sword to the floor and seized her shoulders. “I could have killed you.” Half hidden by the night, he was so dark, so mysterious, so strong.
“I know,” she whispered.
“Why have you come?” he demanded, drawing closer to her.
“You’re going to let me go.”
“It’s what you want, isn’t it?”
Jordan couldn’t answer. Her mouth was dry and the words would not come. She felt tears of sorrow and loss burn behind her eyes.
“To be lady of a castle?” Fox continued.
Jordan studied him, searching for the answer. But his face was starkly empty of emotions.
“To be with other nobles?”
She winced as his fingers squeezed her arms.
“To wed Vaughn?”
“No, Fox. Don’t do this.”
“What should I do, Jordan?” he asked softly.
She knew what she wanted, but she didn’t know how to get it. It wasn’t fair to put those demands on herself when it was impossible for her to stay with Fox. She had to return to the children. And in returning, she had to wed Evan.
Even though she wanted Fox.
She looked up into his eyes again. “Would you kiss me if I asked you to?” she wondered, her throat closing around the pain and the horrible decision she knew she was going to make.
Fox was silent for a long moment, studying her face. “I would bring you the moon if you asked it,” he whispered and bent his head to hers. His lips touched hers with the gentlest of touches, as if a light wind had whispered across her mouth. But not even a tornado could produce the onslaught of emotions his kiss did. She pulled him against her, claiming him with a kiss and a touch that sent waves of fire flaring through her veins.
Suddenly, Jordan broke the kiss and flung her arms around his neck. “I’m your only hope of ever getting your lands and title back.” She held him tightly, never wanting to let go, never wanting to release him. “Why are you letting me go?”
“Don’t you know, Jordan?” he asked softly.
The only thing Jordan knew was she loved Fox. With all her heart. She shook her head against his chest. She didn’t want to leave
him, didn’t want to feel the pain her abandonment would cause both of them. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered as a savage sob tore through her body. “I don’t know what to do, Fox.”
Fox held her close, his breath hot against her neck. “There really is only one thing you can do.”
She pulled back to look into his eyes. He was right, but she didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t want to leave him. It wasn’t fair! She pressed her lips to his, tears rolling over her cheeks. “I was forced to leave you before,” she whispered between kisses. “I shouldn’t have to leave now.”
Fox pulled away, cupping her tear-streaked face in his hands. “You shouldn’t have to live like this. You’re a lady. I was wrong to take you away from your life. I never should have brought you back into mine.”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t say that. I love you, Fox.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, to his cheeks. “I’ve always loved you. I just didn’t realize how much until these last few days.”
“Jordan,” he groaned. “Don’t. You only make this harder.”
But Jordan didn’t stop kissing him. She couldn’t. Finally, he responded with as much regret and need as she had, their kiss full of longing and remorse. Jordan felt his strong body against the length of hers as she pressed against him. She ran her hands over his naked chest, wanting to touch him, to remember him. His skin was warm to her touch. His powerful arms locked around her, exploring her waist, her back.
His hand moved to the nape of her neck, pulling her tight to him, closer to his tongue’s insistent need. She opened her mouth to his exploration and their kiss grew hotter as their tongues danced. His hand moved down from her neck and his feathery touch sent ripples of desire through her body. Finally, his hand eased down inside her dress and moved across her naked breast, cupping it, caressing it with a tight, teasing touch.
Jordan gasped, thrusting her breast into his hand. He stroked it, caressing and rubbing until spirals of ecstasy whirled inside her. Then his hands were behind her back, unhooking her dress. Gently, expertly, he eased it down over her shoulders, guiding the chemise down with it. His mouth did not leave her, his hands coaxing, his fingers urging until her dress and chemise hung from her waist.
Champion of the Heart Page 18