At the end of the meeting, they all parted ways. Jan and Rebecca caught the next bus going to all the way to the south side of town, along with a few others who lived in the city.
The evening was cool, and it had been raining during the meeting. Rebecca snuggled up to Jan, and said, “I wish we could always be like this.”
“Like how?” Jan asked, as he put his arm around her to warm her.
“Like how we all got together tonight, as if there were no worries — and our love circle tonight, it was grand.” She sighed, closed her eyes, and fitted herself a little more snugly with Jan.
Jan looked down at her. He smiled because she appeared so comfortable, so content. He raised his eyes, and noticed a large miner, still in his mining outfit, coming home from work on the bus, staring at them with a scene playing in his head. The frown on his face said that it was a dark scene. Public displays of intimacy were a target for assholes.
Jan’s pulse shot up, and he reacted with rage. Nobody fucks with me anymore! Jan was now pretty tall for his age, and about three hundred and ninety pounds — lean and mean. Jan jolted himself upright, projecting forward, startling Rebecca. His jaw was jutting out, his hands poised to tear this guy a new asshole and he roared, “WHAT?” at the one staring at him, ready to jump and pound the shit out of him if he said almost anything.
The miner quickly looked away, ruffled and frightened by this large youngster’s reaction. He did not look back, hoping to avoid the impending beating he now envisioned.
Rebecca, startled, felt a flash of fear — of Jan. She hadn’t seen him do anything like this before. She kept silent until it was over. “You scared me,” she said, after Jan settled back down.
“I’m just sick of it — he thought we were weak,” Jan replied, eyes locked on the miner. I’m tired of backing down, being beaten down. I don’t care anymore — my freedom is more important than my life.”
“What did he do?” Rebecca asked, glancing again at whom Jan was now staring down.
“His eye wasn’t right,” Jan replied, frowning. “I felt great a minute ago, and he stole it from me, just like all these fuckers here will if they get half a chance.” He waved his hand but the others on the bus were now intentionally looking away from him, even the few love-lovers. Then he settled down, and sat back.
Rebecca snuggled up again, and said, “Well, forget about it now, it’s over, right?”
Jan was still staring at the miner. “I’ve got to be ready for him. People like him are like elas. Always looking for a weakness, and they will always strike. If he sees me relax, who knows? I can’t relax now.”
They departed the bus at their stop. As they walked down the street to their homes, Rebecca took Jan’s arm again and held on to him closely. It felt so warm to be with him. She took a forward look towards her home. Her father Hais had a new girlfriend living there who was a jealous, vindictive thing. When they stopped in front of Rebecca’s house, she turned to Jan and said, “Thanks for a great evening. It was so nice,” and she put her arms around Jan, and went to kiss him.
Jan, caught off-guard, returned her kiss with an abbreviated one.
Rebecca looked at him and sighed. She had accepted that it wasn’t a rejection. She knew he completely loved and accepted her, and that is why she was so in love with him. Still —
“You are so bizarre. Are you sure you’re not gandy?” she said, taunting him.
Jan gave her the look that said, “Give me a break.” He sighed, “You know, I’ve told you before. You are too beautiful for me to use like that.”
“And you are a sicko!” she teased, tickling him. She still loved him as much as he loved her, and that seemed to be enough for now. Rebecca looked at her house and sighed. She hated to end the evening by walking into there. Her drunken dad’s new drunken girlfriend constantly threatened Rebecca with the fire. Rebecca would be eighteen years old shortly, and finally free of that threat.
Jan laughed at the insult and tickle, and said, “I do love you Rebecca.” Then he glanced with distain in the direction of her home and said, “We’ll find a way to get you out of there.” He had discussed the issue at home, but could not budge Griswolt to let Rebecca live with them. “That’s all we need, an unapproved pregnancy!” would be Griswolt’s immediate response.
They said their goodbyes, and Jan went home for the end of an evening that, considering all things, left him feeling a bit more complete.
Another three months later, guests began gathering at Jan’s house for his and Rebecca’s graduation party.
People were beginning to mingle, and Rachel had arrived unusually early. She was not her chatty self, and seemed self-absorbed with something. She found Jan in the living room.
After saying her hellos, Rachel motioned Jan over to an empty part of the room.
“What’s the matter, Rachel?” Jan asked her when they had a little privacy.
Rachel looked at him, her eyes opened wide to almost twice their size. Jan took hold of her hands and said, “My God, you are shaking! What’s wrong?”
“I’m — preg — nant,” Rachel said — machine-like, just to get the words out. She was clenching Jan’s hands now, looking up at him for some sign of help.
Jan’s jaw dropped, and he felt the blood draining out of his face. Here, on the eve of freedom, he was to have this bomb dropped in his lap now, tonight. Oh brother. Is it mine? There was always hope that it wasn’t. So he said it. “Is in mine?”
Rachel released her grip on him. “Of course it’s yours! What do you think of me?”
I thought you seemed really experienced, Jan thought. Better not say that. Damn. I just wanted to have some fun tonight. “Listen, Rachel,” he said, “I won’t run from this. Let’s talk about this after the party, though, OK? Maybe tomorrow?”
Rachel sighed. At least he wasn’t rejecting her, which was her main fear.
Rebecca just arrived and was still in the kitchen. Jan froze, realizing that the other shoe hadn’t dropped. He looked at Rachel in no little panic and said, “Don’t tell anyone for now, OK? Especially Rebecca?” He followed with, “Can I not deal with this tonight?”
Rachel wanted to “deal” with it for the rest of the evening, but she held back for now. She could be sociable tonight, it was after all Jan’s graduation party, and it could wait — for a little while, anyway.
Rebecca had said hello to Martha in the kitchen, then came walking up to the two of them in the living room. She studied Jan, and said, “You look like someone just told you that you didn’t graduate. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Jan replied, with a voice that was a bit too high.
Rebecca could tell he was ruffled. She looked at Rachel, who had slipped into “social mode”, and was her usual exuberant self again. No clue there, Rebecca thought. She looked over those who had arrived, standing in the living room.
Most of the guests were LERN members, but they were always careful about their conversations if they were not at an official LERN meeting. Lep and Dom showed up next. Jan had become good friends with Lep, but had not yet met his friend Dom. He had heard that he was a goofy guy, but very smart with gadgets. Dom worked at the vaccine lab with Lep. Dom was a short and wide fellow, and tonight he wore an unusually loose large yellow leathercloth shirt over some baggy green gendra hide pants.
Before he got a chance to talk with Lep and Dom, Jan saw that his buddy Buz was walking into the living room now, and that gave him the chance to move away from the girls.
“Hey brother,” Jan said to Buz, “How about we get started on the tuba?” Getting drunk seemed like a very good idea before. It was an even better idea now.
“I’m there, buddy,” replied Buz. They went into the kitchen, where Martha was preparing snacks for the guests. Jan pulled out two big glasses, and proceeded to fill them both to the brim.
Martha turned and saw the size of the glasses, and said, “You two had better be careful! The night is young, and you don’t want to get sick tonight.”
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If you only knew, Mom, Jan thought. I’ve got to tell somebody or I’ll explode! He remembered Lep and Dom, got another two glasses out, and filled them as well. Jan wanted to retreat to his bedroom downstairs to get away from the adults at the party for a minute, and to avoid both Rachel and Rebecca as well. He called his buddies to come join him, and so they followed him downstairs.
“Dude what is up with you?” Buz asked, as they walked into Jan’s room.
“I just want to get drunk, drunk, drunk,” Jan said, shaking his head.
The others could tell that something was bothering him, and Lep said, “Yeah, Jan, why so stiff? This is your graduation party, bud! Let’s party!” He started doing a little jig, and Dom joined in.
Jan grinned at Dom. He just met him, and took an instant liking to him. “So you two work together?” Jan asked, trying to be friendly.
Dom said, “No, we don’t work together. He’s the slave master, and I am the slave!”
Lep shoved Dom, and said, “Yeah, right. If I could get you to work, you might be able to say that. You’ve got to show up for work, and stay awake to be a slave!” They all laughed.
Realizing they all had to talk above some rattling coming from the wall, Dom asked, “What’s that sound?”
“Oh, that’s coming through the vent down here. It just started last week,” said Jan.
“I can fix that!” exclaimed Dom, suddenly looking like he really wanted to do it, right now.
Lep chimed in, “Hey, I have an idea — let’s get blasted instead.” He fed Dom one of the sour looks he’d give when Dom was being an idiot, or otherwise odd.
Dom said to both Jan and Lep, “Here, let me show you guys something, ya got a magazine?” Jan got one for him, and Dom carefully tore a page out of it. He went over to Jan’s desk, and started folding it in strange ways. They all stood where they were, watching him. Then Dom asked, “Is anyone coming downstairs?” Negative. Dom stood up with the folded metallic page, and lightly threw it like a weightless dart, right in front of them. It glided as perfectly as a shooting star, point first in the air all the way to the opposite side of Jan’s large bedroom, where it bounced off the wall, falling.
They had all been transfixed on it as it traveled so smoothly through the air.
Buz warned, “You’d better not let any of the adults upstairs see that!”
Any device made to fly was expressly forbidden by the Temple of the NOV. The air was God’s territory, and had to be honored. Flying was for God and his angels. Indeed, for millennia, the Aletian religiocracy went out of its way to exterminate all animals that flew. The earliest temple priesthood prophesied that they were an abomination, and they were told by God that they would be blessed if they eliminated them from the planet. This was is why all animals, excepting a few insects, now simply crawled, walked, or swam, “as God intended”.
Lep said, “You should see Dom’s apartment, he has all kinds of flying things in there! He has some big ones that can only fly outdoors — we have to go way up north to fly those.”
Dom beamed at that. Lep had recently included him in on the escape, but never mentioned that LERN was behind it. Lep trusted Dom completely and had given him details of the escape, all the way to the river. Dom was also the mechanic for his uncle who owned an oversized cargo-stagecoach. It wasn’t utilized much anymore, and he had access to it at any time, along with six contisses to pull it. They were going to use it to steal one of the vaccine lab’s modular units, along with all the supplies needed to build a specially designed one, and operate it in the wildlands. For weeks now, Dom had been working on the jumbo stagecoach for the escape.
For the moment, Jan had forgotten Rachel, but when the dilemma returned to his mind, his face changed, and his posture slumped.
“What is it with you tonight?” Buz asked again, looking exasperatedly at Jan.
Jan gave a sorrowful expression towards Buz and said, “I got Rachel pregnant.”
Lep and Dom looked at each other in disbelief, and Dom blurted out, “You got a piece of that?”
Lep smacked Dom upside the head and said, “This is serious!” Then he looked at Jan and grinned, “But it is awesome. Every guy I know wants to be with her.”
It was a little noisy with the rattling sound coming from the vent in Jan’s room. They were however able to hear someone making choking sounds in the stairway. Buz peeked around the corner, up the stairs, and said, “Rebecca!”
Jan’s bowels gave a mini-implosion. He heard rapid footsteps running upstairs, and took off after her. “Rebecca, stop!” he called out but saw the last of her at the top of the stairs heading into the living room. Jan ran upstairs, ignoring the guests, and followed her through the house and into the bathroom, where he saw the tears streaming down her face. He closed the door behind him.
“Get out!” she shouted, as Jan tried to comfort her. “Don’t you dare touch me!” She was livid, furious, jealous, and dejected.
“It only happened once, in the hospital, I promise!” Jan pleaded, but Rebecca heard nothing but her own mind reeling from this unwanted reality. He tried again, “I was all messed up, they had me drugged, and I didn’t know what I was doing, you’ve got to believe me, please!”
“I knew I couldn’t trust that red-crested emui!” Rebecca spit out. She was pacing back and forth now, in the bathroom with Jan. She stopped and looked at Jan with vengeance, “You son of a bitch! I’m going to report the both of you for unapproved pregnancy!” Then she stopped pacing and became despondent, and looked at him pleadingly, “What’s wrong with me? Why not me? Why her?” looking to Jan for an answer.
He had none. There was no good answer. I have to get Rachel to explain things for me. “Go talk to my mom, she always makes you feel better.” What?
“Sure, I’ll go talk to your mom, and tell her what a keesh she has for a son! Let me out of here!” Rebecca was adamant.
Jan opened the door, and they walked out of the yellow bathroom together, raising the eye-ridges of a couple of guests that had now been waiting for it.
Rebecca went into the kitchen, where Martha was hard at work, preparing more snacks and drinks for the guests. Rebecca had no one to go to. Nobody, and that was the problem. Jan and Martha were her family. All my dreams — gone, Rebecca despondently thought. Her plans for herself and Jan, together, with Martha as her surrogate mother, all shattered. She had not realized how much she had hoped to be a part of this real family until now, one that supported each other, instead of tearing each other down.
Rebecca was so, so hungry for that simple goal, and now it was gone like a breath, because of a baby that was not hers — one that should have been. She was so terrified of rejection that she did not tell Martha, but sat there in the kitchen, waiting for something to happen to take her mind off the heart in her chest, pounding with suppressed rage. It did give her time to calm down a bit. I have nowhere else to go, she kept thinking.
Still, Rebecca was a survivor if nothing else, and there had to be a way to keep Jan. Because she had never gotten her way in the world, she was also flexible. Also, considering the winds in her life, it was a wonder she was not completely broken by now. Perhaps she was.
Jan had gone into the living room, where Rachel was hanging out. She was chatting with Lep and Dom now, but was keeping watch for Jan. Their eyes met as he walked into the room. There were twelve people in the living room now. Ziba had arrived, along with a few “professor” friends from the local college. She and Jan had become quite close over the last half-year. She would not have come, if it were not for the fact that Jan’s parents had a phone there. All LERN committee members were on high alert.
Ziba diverted Jan’s direction of travel by calling him over to introduce him to her friends. She was always anxious to introduce her new young “find” to her sphere of influence. After a warm hello, Jan excused himself, and went over to Rachel. Come to think of it, Rachel has gained weight.
“Listen, I need to talk to you,” he said lowl
y, “but not here.”
Rachel was dying to talk to Jan. “Where should we go?” she asked.
Rebecca was still in the kitchen with Martha, and Jan did not want to go through there to get to the bathroom or his parent’s bedroom, so the only option was downstairs in his bedroom. Once there, Jan remembered Dom’s offer to fix the rattle behind the ventilation duct.
As soon as they were alone, Rachel asked, “What are we going to do?”
“I have no idea,” said Jan as he paced around the room. “One thing I know, you have to talk to Rebecca. She heard me telling the guys about it down here, and she’s pissed.” He stopped pacing, slumped, and held his face in his hands. “She is so upset — I can’t believe this all just happened!”
Rachel had recently become very familiar with Rebecca. Looking at Jan, her face showed that she did indeed realize the impact on Rebecca. She could see the way that Rebecca looked at Jan, as well as Jan’s connection with Rebecca. Her social acumen also allowed her to predict that their relationship was one that would hardly become truly romantic. Jan and Rebecca had been dear friends for too long. She actually pitied Rebecca, learning of her past and present oppressive history over the last six months. Rachel’s own mother died during childbirth, so she never had to go through love-deprogramming school, but like Rebecca, she too grew up without a mother. Her older sister raised her with her father.
Rachel took a couple of steps closer to Jan, and started rubbing the top of his shoulder. “I’m truly sorry that Rebecca was hurt. I want to be friends with her forever, and I don’t know if that will happen now.”
Jan accepted her comforting, and looked at her, concerned.
Rachel moved in front of him, and put her arms up around his neck, hugging him.
Jan caressed her back, looked lovingly into her eyes and said, “We can’t do this. I’m sorry, but you have become too special to me.”
Rachel broke her hug, and stepped back, putting her hands on her hips. “Would you kindly tell me what the hell you are talking about?”
Dystopyum (The D-ot Hexalogy Book 1) Page 21