by Pat Simmons
“Sorry, I’m not looking for friendship. So tell me, Miss Karyn,” she said, mocking her niece’s voice. “Are you a criminal?”
What was the basis of Jet’s suspicion? she wondered. “Why would you even ask me that?” She refused to add fuel to any fire Jet was trying to light. Lord, what is this woman up to? And why did you send me?
“Let’s say I have my reasons. Now answer the question,” Jet insisted.
“No, I’m not.” And that was the honest to God’s truth. She had been redeemed. “I would like for us to be friends—”
“I pick my friends, not the other way around. I’ll do a background check and get back to you.” Click.
Karyn released her breath. This would be her first test as an ex-felon when someone learned she was on parole. She didn’t know what would be her final grade, but she would pass with or without Levi.
CHAPTER 39
Jet hung up, disgusted with herself. She had just gotten home from bargain shopping. It had been good therapy. When her cell rang and she heard Karyn’s voice, her mood turned sour like an instant transformation. The woman rubbed her the wrong way. How many times would she have to apologize to her to stay in Levi’s good graces? To calculate the number would be exhausting.
Karyn initiated an olive branch, but something within Jet kept her from reaching for it. Before Diane’s death, she had more smiles, friends, and dates. In the last four years, she felt she had aged ten years.
“I’m just not friends with anybody,” she mocked herself. “I believe in checking people out.” She groaned. Levi would definitely disown her for that one. Jet had to get to a grief counseling session fast. Rubbing her temples, Jet reached for her phone again. She should have called Rossi for prayer, but didn’t.
Levi answered almost immediately. “Hey, Jet.”
“I talked to your little woman friend.” That came out the wrong way. And bad choice of words.
He practically growled into the phone. “What did you say to Karyn? If you upset—”
Jet cringed. “I…I called her a criminal.” Honesty wasn’t always the best policy. She was digging herself into the Grand Canyon.
“You called her what?” Levi’s roar practically vibrated the phone in her hand. “What is wrong with you? I knew it was a bad idea to give her your number. Karyn is a peacemaker. Haven’t you ever heard of blessed are the peacemakers?”
Did Levi expect her to answer in the middle of his tirade? She did remember hearing something like that as a child.
“You’ve got to stop building grudges against every woman I date.”
“Technically, Karyn is the first one that lasted more than a month.”
“Technically you’re right, which might tell you something. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve met since your sister. Diane would be crushed by the way you’re acting.”
Feeling ashamed, she collapsed in a nearby chair. “I’m starting not to like myself either.” She glanced around her spotless kitchen. It was equipped with every accessory a homeowner could desire, but Jet wasn’t content. She felt her life was empty. If she could adopt a sister as wonderful as Diane had been, she would do it in a minute. “I know you love Karyn and so does Dori. If you love her, I want to at least like her, but I can’t, Levi. I feel like you are cutting your ties with me because of her.”
“Jet, only one woman could force me to cut ties with you.” He paused. “That’s you. You’re pushing me away and once I get to a certain point, I don’t know if I’ll come back. Face it, Karyn will be part of my future. It’s up to you how you handle it.”
The ultimatum. Jet had to try and get along with Karyn. At least be cordial. “Do you think she’d mind going to the grief session for crime victims with us? Maybe, she’ll learn I’m a victim of circumstances and I’m trying. She did say she wanted to be friends.”
“I’m sure she won’t mind. Karyn is a good listener. She is as genuine as it gets. ”
“Okay. Thank you. I love you, brother-in-law.”
“And I love you, too, sister-in-law.”
Jet bowed her head. “Will you pray for me?”
“I know that took a lot of strength for you to ask. Can I get Rossi on the line?”
She nodded before she whispered, “Yes.”
In less than a minute, Jet was on a three-way with the Tolliver men. Closing her eyes, she didn’t join in, but listened as she silently asked God to help her soon.
***
Levi was drained after he and Rossi prayed for Jet, then themselves. He understood exactly how she felt and what she was going through. God had sent the perfect healing balm into his life: Karyn. He clicked off his flat-screen TV. Scenarios ran across his mind, wondering what Karyn and Jet had discussed besides Karyn seeking friendship and Jet rejecting it.
At least Dori was occupied in her bedroom, playing with her jungle of Christmas presents. Removing his glasses, Levi rubbed the bridge of his nose when his cell phone rang again. He answered, “Yeah.”
“Just thinking about Jet,” Rossi said. “She asked for prayer and that’s saying a lot. I think I’ll swing by her house later after I finish mentoring the Temple brothers. They’ve been out of jail for two weeks, and I’m determined to keep them out.” He released a frustrated sigh.
“Well, they have to want to stop shoplifting. They made a choice.” Levi shook his head. What a waste of life. “You know, as private as Jet is, I’m surprised she would ask that Karyn come along.”
“Maybe, this could be the beginning of a great sister-friendship-building relationship.”
“You may be right. I never thought of that, Minster Rossi.” Minutes later, they disconnected.
CHAPTER 40
On New Year’s Eve, Karyn sat crisscross on a double bed, facing her sister. After indulging in their suite’s Jacuzzi, they were wrapped in thick cotton white robes, courtesy of the Renaissance hotel in downtown St. Louis. Room service had just delivered fruits, chocolates, sparkling grape juice, and pastries, and a parole officer had just checked on Karyn’s whereabouts.
God bless her caseworker for the thirty-six hour pass that began the previous night on Friday because of the holiday. Only because other staff members were attending a party in the downstairs ballroom did Monica approve the hotel stay.
“I missed this,” Nalani said with a fake slur as she sipped from her crystal goblet.
Karyn laughed at her sister’s silliness. “You couldn’t wait for that first New Year’s that you could legally drink to get drunk.”
Nalani had a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Yeah, and that night I puked nonstop. I could’ve saved myself the trouble.”
“Served you right.” Karyn nodded as she admired their luxury accommodations. Nalani had splurged on renting ball gowns for their private party, movies, and stocking up on board games. When they were younger, the Wallace household would hold a contest to see who could stay up all night. Usually, the next morning their house would be a wreck for the maid to clean and their sleep stations would be any spots where they could hide for a catnap without losing the contest.
“I don’t know if I could have survived what you’ve been through,” Nalani admitted as she adjusted three rows of overstuffed pillows to rest her back.
Karyn had wanted to avoid an in depth discussion about her life behind bars. But tonight, she and Nalani could have a heart to heart. They were sisters and their bond would always remain.
Her other heart, Levi, wasn’t too happy about bringing in the new year without her, and he had vocalized his displeasure more than once. Karyn recalled Levi’s puppy dog expression when she informed him phone calls would be returned after she checked out of an undisclosed hotel.
“The last few months had been about you, me, and Dori spending time together. At midnight, I want the year to begin with you and me,” Levi had stated.
But Nalani had been a truthful alibi. As long as she stayed at New Beginnings, the rules applied, which meant the ten o’clock curfew would be enforced.
<
br /> Levi was the most unselfish man Karyn had ever met. He was willing to deny his happiness to make hers possible when she asked for his understanding while she rebuilt a relationship with Nalani.
“Will it make you happy if I give you this space?” He had inched closer to her lips. They had been outside Karyn’s doorstep after Levi had given her a ride home from work.
She could hardly breathe. “Yes.”
“Consider it done,” he whispered then kissed her tenderly and slowly. Later that night, her lips still tingled when she went to bed.
Smiling at the memories, Karyn laid back on top of the rich burgundy comforter made of jacquard silk and crossed her arms behind her head.
“I see you practically glowing. Since you just zoned out on me that could only mean one thing—you’re thinking about him,” Nalani teased and laughed.
“Who?” Karyn feigned cluelessness. This night was not about her and Levi, so she had to stop thinking about him. She refocused. “To answer your question, I didn’t think I would survive in prison. And I didn’t really care about what happened to me. Who would have ever thought I would cause the death of anybody, much less a child, and to make matters worse—my own child. I keep replaying that dark day in my head even though I know I can’t bring my baby back.”
Turning on her side, Karyn faced Nalani. “You had every right to hate me. I became the big family disappointment. So much responsibility was shifted on you with Daddy. Although I’m hurt that you didn’t notify me of Daddy’s death, I realize that I’m not entitled to anything. I’m just so glad you don’t hate me anymore.”
“Deep down inside, I knew it was an accident and nobody could ever convince me differently—the media, family, or so-called friends.” Nalani gnawed her bottom lip. “The hate I felt is hard to explain. Maybe it was rebellion to grieve alone. I had no right to withhold Daddy’s death from you. I’m truly sorry. God took away our mother. In a way, Daddy took his own life through negligence, and your freedom was taken away. I had to get myself together mentally to deal with your incarceration, pending release, and help you salvage your life after prison. After taking care of Daddy…” She paused. “I just wasn’t strong enough to have to take care of your needs. I am so sorry.”
She waved her off. “Nalani, your confession just proves you’re human like me. I appreciate your honesty. Your words stung, but I needed to know of your hurt. I’m just so happy that you love me so much as to want me back in your life.”
They were quiet, caught up in their own thoughts until Nalani plucked the largest chocolate-covered strawberry off a tray. After popping it in her mouth, she shrugged. “I figured God, Momma, and Dad only gave me one sister. I knew your heart, not the things the reporters were saying. We slept in the same bedroom, ate at the same kitchen table, and attended the same schools. You were my hero because you always made good decisions.”
Karyn teared up. “Not that time. An innocent, helpless baby who I birthed into this world died at my hands. That stuff happens to other people, not me—a Senator’s daughter,” she mocked, sniffing.
Getting up, Nalani scooted Karyn over so she could stretch out on the bed with her. “I hadn’t heard of postpartum depression before, and it can be prevented if diagnosed and treated early. The bottom line is you’re my sister. I don’t know how not to love you even at the moments I hated you, if that makes any sense. If you became a prostitute, I would still love you.”
“What! You can stop right there. A prostitute?” Karyn swiped a pillow and aimed for Nalani’s head. She retaliated, so a pillow fight ensued until Nalani begged for mercy.
“Okay, okay. How about a drug dealer?” The blow came to Nalani’s chin before she called for time out. “Hey, it’s ten-thirty. We’d better get dressed.”
They scurried off the bed and ran to the closet where lace and taffeta peeked out. The two planned to dance with the stars from movies they had rented: White Christmas, a black holiday musical A Diva’s Christmas Carol, and their favorite Rudolph’s Shining New Year. Once they were dolled up, Karyn and Nalani mimicked ballroom dancing. They laughed when their contraptions restrained them as they attempted salsa.
“Hey, it’s almost time,” Nalani said with excitement.
They scrambled to refill their goblets with sparkling grape juice. Nalani pointed the remote at the flat screen. With their glasses raised, she and her sister joined in the countdown. “Five, four, three, two, one!” Looping their arms, both sipped from the other’s glass.
“Happy New Year.” Karyn hugged her sister.
“Happy New Year to you. I’m pulling for you, Levi and Dori, but watch your back with Jet.”
Karyn smirked. “You just had to sneak Levi’s name in there, didn’t you?”
“You told me not to mention his name last night. It’s a new day and a new year. Levi, Levi, Levi…” Nalani teased.
A brief knock at the door interrupted them. Checking the time, Karyn opened it. As expected, her counselor strolled in and performed a quick inspection.
“Everything looks fine. Stay out of trouble and Happy New Year,” Monica said and left.
As soon as the door closed, Nalani pointed her finger at it. “I know you’ll be glad when that checking up on you stuff is over.” She folded her arms in a huff.
“I’ll be glad when the rapture comes. I have really made a mess of my life down here. That’s for sure.”
“You are not the only one who has ever done anything wrong.”
Karyn nodded. “I know. I had the oddest request from Levi the day after the disastrous phone call to Jet…”
“I don’t even know why you wasted your time,” Nalani said as she worked to get out of her ball grown.
“It was God’s idea, not mine.” They took turns unzipping each other’s dress. “Well, Levi said she sounded pitiful after she snapped at me. To make a long story short, she is ready to get help. She’s going to a crime victim’s grief counseling session. She asked Levi to ask me to go with her.”
Nalani eyed her sister suspiciously. “I wouldn’t fall for that in a New York, Chicago, or L.A. minute.”
“I guess she wants me to see she’s trying.”
“And you believe that?”
“I don’t know what to believe right now. I do know God is in the plan, so I might as well put my blindfold on and listen to His voice to lead me.”
“Humph. When dealing with that girl, I would take NoDoz to keep both eyes open.” As Nalani slipped out of her dress and wrapped the robe around her, she climbed back on top of her bed. “Karyn,” Nalani spoke softly. “It’s a new year. When are you going to tell him? How can your love grow when he doesn’t know everything?”
Pacing the room, Karyn avoided eye contact with her sister. “Every time I think I know the answer, doubt kicks in, but God is my witness, before January is out, Levi will know the truth.”
“And the truth will set you free. Isn’t that how it goes?”
“I just hope with all this freedom, I won’t lose Levi.” Karyn called it a night after she stepped out of her ball gown. Soon, she was under the cover. “Freedom comes at a price,” she murmured before drifting off to sleep.
CHAPTER 41
Karyn changed from her uniform into her turtleneck sweater dress, black tights, and leather boots. She added a few more clothes to her closet, mindful of the center’s clothing limit and the capital she would need from her trust fund for the joint business venture. For the third time in months, Karyn had asked to get off early—another exception to house rules. She was past pressing her luck.
Jet’s first session was less than two hours away. As Karyn neared the mall entrance, Levi was posted at the door, waiting for her. As soon as their eyes made contact, he stood taller and his dimples saluted her.
“Hi.” He kissed her cheek and removed the backpack from her shoulder. “Thank you for coming along. “I’m hoping this will help Jet move on. Rossi’s meeting us there.”
Karyn froze. “Oh, is this a family a
ffair? Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
Levi shook his head. He ushered her to his car and made sure she was strapped in before pulling off. “One thing you have to know about my cousin. Since Rossi’s the oldest and the only minister in the family, he thinks he has privileges. Plus, we’re all worried about Jet. As you can see, the grief is eating away at her. Losing her only sister was devastating for her, me, and the family.”
“I understand. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Nalani is all I have, and we lost contact for four years. I was living in a prison.” There, she’d dropped a hint. Subtle, but she would build up from there.
A red light caught them at Lincoln Trail. A young black woman, no older than twenty, seized the opportunity to approach cars, asking for a donation in exchange for miniature bags of cookies and chips. Karyn began to rummage through her handbag.
Levi tapped on the steering wheel, ignoring the beggar as she came to his window. He glanced at Karyn to avoid eye contact with the woman. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for some money.”
“Why? No telling what they do with that money,” he stated with little sympathy.
“But it’s the grace of God that it’s not me—or you—standing there.” She pointed to the intersection, then tapped her chest with her thumb. “I’m blessed that I’m not hoping for someone to have mercy on me in order for me to survive.”
He stared at her. “Woman, you have a heart of gold.” He reached for his wallet in his back pants pocket, but the light flashed green. A car behind them honked, forcing Levi to drive away. The crestfallen look on the woman’s face tugged at Karyn’s heart.
Maybe the beggar was part of another church’s ministry that focused on former gang members, drug addicts, and others who were saved off the streets and in a rehabilitation program. Their keep for a bed and hot meal every night in the church-sponsored housing was to hit the street every morning and peddle their wares of candies, cookies, and other treats. Then they would turn in most of the funds to the ministry.