“If I’m left with a few scars, perhaps it will remind me to heed my superiors more carefully in future,” I said quietly.
"I suspect it won't," said James reproachfully. He was probably right. "Up you come, Lois. Time to do the fun parts. I thought we'd save them until last. You'll probably need a little something to get you through the next few hours."
Having no idea what James meant by that statement, it didn't stop my breath from hitching as the sponge began to dab at my breasts gently. Oh God. My eyes stayed downwards, drowning in a pool of pink water, as the man above me caressed my skin in a horribly delicate fashion. I say horribly, because I would have killed for a firm touch right then, and would have happily taken all the pain that came with it.
"Open your legs, Lois." Just the sound of his voice made my insides clench, and I parted my thighs obediently. "Please tell me he didn't hurt you down there," James said in a strained voice. Finally looking up at him, I realised that the ordeal of washing me was taking a far worse toll on him that it was on me. At the moment he looked stricken as if this was somehow all his fault, but I knew better.
My hand reached up to caress his cheek, leaving a little wet line in its wake. “I did this to myself, James, not you. You warned me. I had my reasons, though. You’ll need to trust me on that score.” He nodded slowly.
“Did he cut you down there?” James swallowed, and the sponge hovered in mid-air.
I shook my head. “He threatened to, but he never made good on it.” Bar a small slice here and there, anyway.
“Thank fuck. If he had, I’d go down there right now and kill him myself,” James muttered darkly. “There’s only so much I can…” his words trailed off as the sponge slid between my thighs and I let out a hiss.
“He did cut…” James’s face was a wall of black fury, and I moved away from him automatically.
“He didn’t.” We didn’t need any more drama this evening, so I said, “I’m aroused, you idiot. Here, give me that,” I snatched the sponge back off him and finished the job, annoyed that I was now infused with pulsing heat. My clit was throbbing painfully between my legs, and desire was beginning to travel to every part that mattered.
“Can I have a cup of tea,” I whispered breathily.
“No. I’m not leaving you in here alone. When I get you in bed, I’ll go fetch you a cuppa, but not before then.”
I glared at him. “I’m perfectly okay.”
“It won’t be long before the shakes set in,” he said warningly. “Your body temperature has dropped, and I suspect you’re feeling pretty sick at the moment, aren’t you?” The look he gave me was a hard one.
“At the moment, I just feel numb.” It was only half a lie. The contents of my stomach had been at war with my body for a good hour now, and the bile that was burning its way up my throat didn’t feel very friendly. I’d hoped to get rid of James by now, but as that didn’t appear to be an option, he was going to have to deal with the consequences.
“No point pulling the tough act around me, Lois. I’ve been there, done that.”
“Good,” I whispered, as I flung myself over the edge of the bath, promptly throwing up over the side.
An hour later and I was safely tucked up inside a magnolia duvet, which wasn't going to be a good colour choice, in my personal opinion. I currently had a big plastic mixing bowl for company, which sat on the bedside drawer. Even though I was pretty sure there couldn't be anything left inside me by now, I kept managing to surprise myself. If I'd thought torture was evil, it had nothing on heroin withdrawal symptoms. Pain I could cope with, misery – not so much.
Leaving me on my own for a minute, James went off to get a cup of tea. It left me with some time on my hands. It would have been nice to have used that time to think about everything that had just gone down, but that wasn't going to be possible. My concentration was shot. All I wanted to do right now was curl up into a ball and die. The nausea was all-consuming, and my stomach was cramping like the worst period pain on record. If that wasn't bad enough, I was now alternating between the sweats and chills, so the duvet had no idea what was going on. My nose seemed to be constantly running, and my eyes were full of unshed tears, although I guess that could have been down to the last awful couple of days I'd just had to work through. The worst part about detoxing was the muscle and bone aches, though. Everything hurt – and I meant everything. When James came back with my tea, a plastic glass, and a two-litre bottle of water, I wanted none of it.
Pouring the water into the glass, he gave it to me and said, "Drink."
“Do I have to?” My stomach made another gurgling noise in protest, as if warning me in advance of the consequences of such an action.
“Yes. The last thing you want to do is add dehydration to your woes. You’re in enough trouble as it is.” Taking the cup from him with a wobbling hand, I placed it carefully to my lips and took a few cautious sips. Placing my hand over my mouth, as my body rebelled against even this small offering, I did my best to try and keep it down.
“How long will it take before I feel almost human?” I was almost afraid to ask the question, but I sure as hell needed to know the answer.
“Depends. Everyone is different. How many days were you on it? How much did you take? How long apart were the doses? How much pain were you in when you took it?” He held his hands up on either side of him, telling me he had no idea of the answer, but I knew better.
“Just give me an approximate guess, James,” I said testily. I was in no mood for games.
“Fine. I’ll assume you weren’t on it for more than two or three days. If I also assume that Adie didn’t give you any more than necessary to deal with the pain he was throwing at you, I’d say you’re probably going through mild withdrawal symptoms, which hopefully won’t last more than three or four days.”
"See. That wasn't so hard, was it?" I said, picking up the mug of steaming hot tea, before putting it straight back down again. My hands were shaking so badly now, there was no way I'd be able to put it to my lips without spilling most of the contents down me.
"Hang on. If I drink a few mouthfuls, the cup won't be so full, and you'll be able to handle it yourself." He did exactly that and then passed it back to me.
"Thank you," I whispered, my eyes tearing up again. Seriously, my body was a wreck. If this was my eye-opener into the world of drugs, I never wanted to see any ever again. Bringing the mug up to my lips, I blew on the hot contents and somehow managed to get a sip inside me. Ugh. My face then wrinkled up in distaste. It was disgustingly sweet. The man must have dumped three sugars in there, and I usually didn't take any.
“You’ll need the sugar, so don’t complain. You won’t be eating for a while.” James then chewed his bottom lip.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Taking another sip of my revolting tea, I waited for my mentor to spill.
“You already know,” he said very softly.
"That it's going to get worse before it gets better?" He nodded. "Gee, this is going to be a rip-roaring ride, then. Maybe you should get the handcuffs out, just in case I decide to shoot myself." I waggled my eyebrows at him. At the moment, I was still just about capable of humour, dark though it was.
“That’s not even funny, Lois. If you can handle Adie for a couple of days, you can handle this. It’s all down to perseverance. That’s all. Right now, you just need to get some sleep.”
“Sleep is going to be impossible while I feel like this,” I grumbled, eyeing the big plastic bowl beside me with resentment.
"We can always do your debrief now if you'd prefer. A couple of hours talking to me should put you to sleep in no time." He reached for my hand and gripped it gently, letting his fingers caress my knuckles. The touch was oddly erotic.
Answering his question, I shook my head. If he thought I wanted to relive my sordid experience with him, he was much mistaken. I could already imagine the disapproving looks he would give me. "I'll talk to Sharkey in the morning," I said.
It was his turn to s
hake his head. "You won't. As of now, you're officially off the grid for the time being. We need to keep a low profile. You'll be reporting to me." Oh great, I thought. That was fucking fantastic.
“I suddenly feel very sleepy,” I said tightly.
“You’re going to have to talk to me at some point, Lois. May as well get it over with.” That might be so, but it wasn’t going to be today.
“Pass me that bowl, James,” I croaked.
Chapter Nine - James
Lois’s body eventually succumbed to the exhaustion it was feeling, but even when her eyelids started drooping, she fought to stay awake. She was a fighter, I’d give her that. Perhaps the demons she saw in sleep were worse than the ones she had to face while awake – heroin could be nasty like that. Still, it would be out of her system soon enough. The psychological aspects of what had happened would be around for much longer, but other than recommend a good therapist there wasn’t much I could do about that.
As I walked out of the bedroom, careful not to make a sound, I shut the door quietly behind me. I couldn't help but remember the sight of her bloodied body in the bath. That vision was going to come back and haunt me. All I could see were a mass of cuts and scrapes surrounded by a pool of bright pink water, the sight of which had turned my stomach – and I have a strong one. At the moment, I wanted to murder Adie, but that was not going to be possible without a lot of particularly nasty consequences. Hopefully, the feeling would pass. Right now, I had to pull the bastard out of the car and get him inside. We didn't want to draw any more attention to ourselves than necessary.
Striding down to the parking lot, I unlocked the BMW X5 and pulled open the rear passenger door that Adie was currently slumped upon. The bastard came to quickly enough as he began falling onto the tarmac below.
"Fucking hell, James." He managed to break his fall with his wrists, so he'd live to see another day - shame.
"Get your ass inside. Honest to God, I don't remember the last time a girl pistol-whipped me." I rolled my eyes at him in disgust.
Getting to his feet, he then made a show of dusting himself off, waiting for me to make the next move. Smart guy. He was expecting my fist in his face, and quite honestly, I was tempted, but I knew it wouldn’t make me feel any better.
“Inside now,” I barked, turning on my heel, and if the bastard didn’t follow me, there’d be trouble.
Holding the door open for him, I waited until he’d passed before directing him into the lounge. We needed to have a little chat.
Adie sat himself down on one of the tired, brown suede sofas, and looked up at me warily. “How is she?”
"How do you think she is?" I said in a carefully controlled growl. "She's been cut to ribbons, lost quite a bit of blood, and now she's going through some lovely withdrawal symptoms. Suffice it to say, she is not in a good way.”
He gave me a rueful look. That made it all the worse. While I knew the bastard hadn’t wanted to hurt her, I still wasn’t about to forgive him in a hurry.
"Look, I don't know about you, but I need a beer. Want one?" Adie shook his head, which was just fine by me. Heading into the kitchen, more than happy to get away from him for a while, I did my best to calm down. This was an awkward situation, and everyone was doing the best they could with what they'd been given. That didn't mean I had to like it, but I needed to move forward. Pulling open the fridge door with much more force than necessary, I grabbed a bottle of Bud and then rummaged around in the cutlery drawer until I found an opener. Pulling the cap off, I took a swig and then set the bottle down again. Bending over the kitchen table, with my hands on either side of me, I did my best to put things in perspective. It wasn't easy, but I knew I could do it. This was why I'd never wanted to work with Lois in the first place.
Usually, I can maintain my distance from my partner, and then I don't give two fucks whether they live or die. It's not a nice code of conduct to live by, but very necessary in our line of work. Unfortunately, Lois and I had already shared a week together, in an especially ‘charged' environment, which was usually another ‘no' for me, but I didn't have a choice this time around. People higher up were pulling my chain, and if I didn't obey orders, then I'd be yanked from this assignment. If that happened, I gave Lois a five percent chance of survival at best. They weren't odds that would let me sleep at night. You need to work with this bastard. Be nice to him. It was one thing to think it, but another entirely to put the sentiment into practise.
Striding back into the lounge again, as if I hadn’t a care in the world, I settled on the sofa opposite Adie, and carefully placed my beer down on the table in front of me.
Adie lifted his head and looked me directly in the eye. "You haven't told her, have you?" He gave me a disgusted look, but he might as well have saved himself the trouble. I didn't owe the bastard anything, and he knew it.
"She's a smart girl. She'll figure it out in her own time." I grabbed the beer in front of me and took a sip. It had been a long day, and while I was only going to have the one, I was going to enjoy it.
“Meanwhile, she still thinks she has to kill me. Are you sure that’s wise?” Adie said dryly.
"Now hang on a minute. Have you seen what you've done to her body? If that wasn't bad enough, she's now coming down from the heroin you shot her up with, and that's not going to be pretty. Are you going to be by her bedside taking care of her? If memory serves correctly, you're good at dishing it out, but not so great at dealing with the consequences." Putting the bottle up to my lips once more, I took a gulp this time. I fucking needed it.
"Don't you hang this on me. Lois knew what she signed up for. There was no way I could have done anything else when we held her in the interrogation room, not with the cameras rolling. The only reason she's suffering now is because if I hadn't given her the heroin, Lois would have been in so much pain she would have spilled her life story, not to mention the fact that the woman would also be scarred for life. I did the best I could." Adie's voice was now charged with emotion and damned if that didn't make everything worse.
"I know," I whispered very quietly, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Right now, I want to slam my fist into your body, over and over again, until you are an unrecognisable pulp on the floor. Thankfully, I have just about enough control to resist the impulse, but I wouldn't push your luck." I cracked the knuckles of my free hand, to show Adie I meant business.
“You and whose army?” said Adie, with as much bravo as he could muster. I wasn’t buying it, though.
“We both know you’re no match for me in hand to hand combat. I’ve read your file, you’ve read mine.” Eyeing the bastard up smugly over my beer, I waited for him to concede defeat. He did no such thing, of course.
“Are we going to fling shit around, or are we going to work together? Believe me, I don’t want this gig anymore than you do, and so far, I’ve risked my neck more than you have.” He had a point.
“Couldn’t you have given her something a little less dangerous than heroin?” Concentrating hard, to make sure my hands didn’t claw themselves up into fists, I smiled at him tightly.
“No, actually, I couldn’t, but that’s not the reason you’re pissed. You know she’s half in love with me, and that’s why you’re all fired up, Leveritt.”
“It’s not the being in love with you part that I mind, Adie. It’s the fact that you’re going to get her killed.” Although that wasn’t strictly the truth because I found I fucking minded a whole lot about the half-in-love part, too.
"We both know you can't go near her, James. So you might as well push her in my direction and move on," said Adie. Would I fuck, I thought acidly.
“At the moment, she still wants to kill you,” I remarked candidly, “but if she decides she wants to dribble over you instead, that’s her problem. In any case, I don’t want her, so do what you will, but if she comes crying to me when you do a number on her, I will fucking annihilate you. We clear?” Adie gave me a long and hard look, but he finally nodded.
> “You do want her,” he said quietly.
Keeping my face carefully neutral, I shook my head. Sometimes I forgot that Adie had undertaken precisely the same training as I had. He could read people very easily, but I wasn't going to let him read me.
“She’s damaged goods,” I said in a bored fashion, shaking my head. “Her partner has just died on her. You think I want to go there?” Adie’s eyes narrowed in on me, trying to spot the lie, but there wasn’t even a blink to betray me. Go fuck yourself, I thought.
"All she needs is time. She'll get over him," Adie said. That might be true, but she needed a wake-up call as well.
"I'm still not putting in a good word for you. You want to get close to her - you need to put some work in. I suggest you start by getting in that room, holding her hand, and clearing up her puke when the occasion arises. That might put you in her good graces if you're lucky." Adie didn't take long to back away from that one.
“She still wants to kill me. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Poor baby. Can’t you handle yourself against a mere slip of a girl?” Yes, I was teasing, but I had a point. Lois was never going to respect anyone that couldn’t get the better of her – I’d found that out as soon as we’d begun her training sessions. She was a feisty hellcat, but she wouldn’t be all that hard to tame with the right encouragement.
“She tried to kill me!” Addie looked affronted, which was hilarious, considering he’d also nearly killed her.
“If she’d have wanted to kill you, you’d be dead by now. Take my word for it. Lois is one of the best female operatives we have.” I raised my eyebrows at him and grinned. "She’s better than you,” I added smugly, unable to resist.
“The hell she is,” Adie growled.
"Well, I know who'd I'd put my money on," I remarked slyly, draining my beer before standing up. Yawning, I stretched my arms above my head and then sighed.
"Well, seeing as how I'm on babysitting duty, I'd better get going," I said. "Meanwhile you can do the dishes." I pointed towards the kitchen and winked at him.
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