“No,” she said. “It’s as good a time as any.”
Amber closed the door, then returned to the babies, refusing to allow herself to admire the impressive view of Nate’s backside.
Dylan had rolled to his back, and his face puckered as he struggled to lift his head.
Kneeling on the floor at his side, she sat Dylan up so he had a better view of the room. “There you go, precious.”
Dylan swiveled his head, blinking wide blue eyes up at Nate.
Nate set the bag he carried on the recliner and smiled at Dylan. “Hey.”
Dylan poked his teething ring in his mouth and chewed, solemn eyes still fixed firmly on his father. Savannah and Mason stopped squirming on the blanket and stared at Nate with blank expressions, too.
Amber grinned. “They’re a tough crowd.”
Nate smiled wider, then reached into the plastic bag on the chair at his side. “I brought them something. You, too.”
His broad hand lifted a colorful pile of material from the bag, then he separated each fluffy bundle, lining them up on the seat of the chair. There were four fleece blankets in all. Two blue, one pink and one white. Each one thick, soft and tied with a bright bow.
Amber reached up and ran a finger over the silky trim of one. She recognized them from one of the high-end gift shops downtown. Had admired them on more than one occasion during her lunch break, imagined how warm they’d keep the babies’ feet on a chilly winter night and wished she’d had the extra cash to spring for at least one.
Now, thanks to Nate, she had four.
“Thank you,” she said.
“I didn’t know what you needed,” he said quickly. “It’s not much but I thought with the weather turning cold, they might come in handy and that they’d go well with the nursery. The colors, I mean...” He looked at her, his deep green eyes meeting hers. “I thought, maybe in a day or two, we could go shopping together. Get whatever else you’d like. Anything you need. It’d be a start, at least.”
Her legs trembled beneath her. “A start to what, Nate?”
He gripped the arm of the chair, then lowered to a seated position slowly, his other hand clutching his ribs. “A start to me being a father and you having some help.”
Amber’s attention strayed to the sexy movements of his mouth as he spoke.
“I’ve been thinking and it might be best, as you suggested, to wait a while before we tell Landon the truth,” he continued. “At least until we figure out how to handle things between us. But I don’t think we should keep any secrets from each other. Not anymore. So I’ll be honest now and say that finding out I was a father scared me to death.” He looked at the babies, his expression softening. “But today... I felt excited. I looked forward to seeing them again, and I want to get to know them. I want to be here for them. And for you.”
She looked away. Focused instead on Mason’s playful babble. Tried not to think about how Nate’s presence in their children’s lives would affect her own.
“Amber?” His hand covered hers on the blanket, his big palm warm and deliciously rough against her smooth skin. “Can we agree to be honest with each other from here on out? Whatever the truth may be?”
She nodded, a wry smile twisting her mouth. “It’s what McBride always wanted.”
He laced his fingers through hers and she melted inside. “Then please tell me the truth now,” he urged. “What are you thinking?”
A humorless laugh escaped her. “That I’d like to toss that stump of McBride’s in the fire so I’ll feel less guilty about lying to Landon and not telling you the truth sooner.” She tugged her hand away from his, ignoring the exciting flutters his touch stirred within her. “I’m nervous about you coming back into my life, Nate.” She looked up. “I never know when you’ll show up or how long you’ll stay. I’ve worked hard for what I have. I’ve paid this house off. I’m providing for my children and managing to save enough to improve this place even more. I’ve gotten over you. I’m settled and secure. I don’t need you.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened and pain flashed in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t mean to hurt you. But you asked me to be honest and that’s how I feel.” She sat up straighter. “How I feel doesn’t matter, though. You’re their father. You should be a part of their lives. And I’m happy, for their sakes, that’s what you’re choosing to do, because they still need you.”
He nodded stiffly, then watched the babies for a few minutes before saying, “Is it okay if I hold one of them?”
“Of course.”
He bent forward and flinched, holding his injured side.
“Wait.” She stilled him with a hand on his arm. “I’ll help you.”
Amber picked up Savannah, then placed her on Nate’s lap. Savannah grabbed his thick forearms and stared up at him, her small feet balanced on his wide thighs as he supported her with both hands at her waist. She bounced playfully, grinning around the pacifier in her mouth.
Nate’s gaze wandered over his daughter, from the top of her curly blond head to the tips of her tiny toes. His cheeks flushed and a small smile appeared, the soft glow of the fire glinting over the sheen of moisture in his eyes.
“She looks so much like you,” he said softly. “She has your blue eyes and cute nose. And she’s so happy. She’s beautiful, Amber. Absolutely beautiful.” He looked at her then, the admiration in his expression making her body hum with pleasure. “Thank you.”
Her throat closed so tightly she could barely speak. “For what?”
“For giving us three beautiful children. For sacrificing so much to keep them safe, healthy and happy.”
Her face heated as he returned his attention to Savannah. He bent his blond head and kissed Savannah’s forehead, his smile widening. The pride in his eyes was unmistakable and his expression grew more adoring with each passing second.
Amber stilled, watching helplessly as Nate fell in love with their daughter, right there in front of her, and knew he’d do the same with his sons after holding them, too.
The sight gave her a glimpse of the man she used to believe Nate could be. Reminded her of all the hopes and dreams she’d invested in him for so many years, only to be disappointed.
“Will you help me, Amber?” Nate hugged Savannah closer. Her soft cheek pressed to his broad chest and her eyes blinked slowly as he rubbed his big palm gently over her back. “Show me how to be a good parent?”
Without falling for him all over again? Without risking her heart and hard-won independence with a man who was only sticking around temporarily out of a sense of duty?
Amber answered as honestly as she could. “I’ll try.”
Chapter 4
Nate eyed the three empty car seats in the SUV’s dimly lit backseat, then fiddled with the loose buckles and straps. There was no way the irregular-shaped connections secured like a regular seat belt. How in the hell was someone supposed to go about using these contraptions?
“Hey, man.” Landon elbowed him. “You sure you want to take this on?”
Nate faced Landon, then smiled as Mason and Dylan stared up at him from their perch on Landon’s hips. “Yep.”
Most definitely. He glanced at Bobbie Jean, Amber’s best friend and babysitter, chuckling as Savannah bounced in her arms and grabbed at her necklace. The stars glowed so bright above them he could see every change in her excited expression.
An entire week had passed since he’d held his kids. After spending a few hours with them at Amber’s last Tuesday, he’d spent each day helping Mac out at the ranch—as much as he could with an injured rib—then every evening, he’d driven out to Amber’s to see them again. But each time Landon was already there, helping her bathe the babies and put them to bed. Not wanting to interfere with their normal routine or stir Landon’s suspicions, he’d been unable to do more than stand back and obs
erve. As a guest.
It’d been odd watching another man take care of his kids, even if Landon was his best friend and their uncle. Having to peer over Landon’s shoulder just to get a glimpse of his sons and daughter had stirred a burning sensation inside him that had smoldered each night as he’d driven back to the ranch, then intensified all week. He hadn’t had more than two seconds alone with Amber the entire time—something she hadn’t seemed to mind. That hurt him a heck of a lot more than he’d expected.
By this morning he’d had enough. He called Landon, offered to fix the leaky faucets at Amber’s cabin, then pick up the babies from Bobbie Jean’s so Landon could have the night off. Landon complied on the condition that he meet Nate at Bobbie Jean’s so he could see them off. Nate agreed in the most benign, just-doing-this-as-a-friend voice he could muster when what he really wanted to do was shout to the heavens in the middle of Main Street that he had three beautiful kids.
That, for once in his life, something good had come out of one of his massive mistakes.
“You know, I don’t have to go to this thing.” Landon’s frown deepened. “It’s just poker night. There’ll be another one next week. Or I could help you and Amber get the kids settled, then you could come play a hand with me.”
“Nah. You need a break and there’s no way I’d last an entire night of poker in one of Frank’s hard-backed chairs with my side still as sore as it is.” Nate held his arms out, motioning for Mason. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it.” He stepped closer, tucked his hands under Mason’s arms and tugged gently. “This is the perfect solution.”
Landon tugged back. “Maybe, but you’ve never done this before and—”
“Cut me some slack, Landon.” Nate lifted Mason out of Landon’s arms and settled him into his own. A bigger smile pulled at his lips, the slight weight of his son’s diapered bottom against his palm silencing the frustrated growl at the back of his throat. “It’s not like you didn’t have a learning curve when you started helping Amber out.”
“Yeah, but...” Landon looked at Mason then laughed. “I got to admit, Mason does take to you.”
“Yeah, he does.” Nate’s chest swelled as Mason grinned up at him. Man, it was good to hold his son again. And it’d be nice to have some time alone with his kids and Amber again. “Besides—” he jerked his chin toward the SUV’s trunk “—I’d like to give the stroller to Amber myself.”
“I still can’t believe you spent that much dough on a stroller.” Landon frowned. “That thing must’ve cost—”
“What it was worth.”
Lord knew it’d taken all afternoon to assemble it. The triple-seater stroller was collapsible for storage, roomy enough for all the babies and easy to maneuver through narrow doorways. The saleslady had assured him it was solidly built and top-of-the-baby-line.
Nate ducked his head. “I wasn’t here when...” He swallowed hard. “Just consider it a late baby shower gift.” He smiled, holding Mason close with one arm and thrusting out the other. “Now, give me Dylan and get out of here. You’re gonna be late.”
Landon handed Dylan over, headed for his truck, then stopped. “Are you sure—”
“Go on.” Nate laughed and jerked his chin toward Bobbie Jean. “I got help. Right?”
Bobbie Jean nodded. “Yep.”
Good thing Bobbie Jean was there, too. Because he was gonna need all the help he could get—not that he’d admit it to Landon.
“See that man right there, Bobbie Jean?” Landon pointed at Nate, then grinned as he strode away. “He’s going for uncle of the year.”
That burn returned, shifting to Nate’s gut. He looked down and bit his tongue.
Bobbie Jean laughed. “Well, he’s doing a darned fine job of it.”
After Landon left, Nate loaded the babies into the car seats and Bobbie Jean demonstrated how to strap them in.
“It’s a five-point harness,” she said, disconnecting Mason’s buckle then stepping back. “Looks confusing but there’s really nothing to it.”
“Got it.” Nate steadied his hands, then ducked inside the backseat and clicked Mason’s buckle into place. He strapped in Savannah, then Dylan, too. “Thanks, Bobbie Jean. I appreciate you showing me. Sorry if I held you up.”
“Oh, no problem. I love taking care of these sweethearts.”
Nate shut the door, then hesitated as all three pairs of blue eyes stared out the window at him. “They gonna be all right in the back by themselves?” He rubbed his palms over his jeans. “I can’t see them while I’m driving since they’re sitting backward like that.”
“Oh, they’ll be fine. Trust me.” She walked with him to the driver’s side. “If they cry or start fussing, just talk to them and they’ll settle down. They enjoy car rides most of the time.”
So, if they cry, just talk to them. That, he could manage. His hand tightened around the door handle. He hoped.
“It’s really great what you’re doing,” Bobbie Jean said.
Nate stilled at the change in her tone. “What’s that?”
“Helping Amber.”
Did she know? Nate waited as she studied him. He didn’t know Bobbie Jean that well but she was Amber’s best friend. Amber might’ve told her.
A small feeling of relief unfurled inside him at the thought of someone else knowing he was a father. That he and Amber had made those three amazing kids. And from the kind note in Bobbie Jean’s voice, it sounded as if she might actually think he was a...decent guy.
“I just never pictured it before.” Bobbie Jean laughed. “You know, you with babies. Every time your name comes up around town, it’s all bulls, broncs and women. Or those pranks you and Paul pulled in high school. How the two of you went around raising hell.” She blushed. “No offense. I shouldn’t have mentioned that. I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just kinda cute seeing a big guy like you chauffeuring kids around. It’s really decent of you, you know?”
He grinned, that soothing feeling spreading. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She frowned. “The guy that ran off and left Amber was an ass. Not that I ever met him since Amber was so tight-lipped and private about him. But he had to have been seeing as how he hurt her so bad. She was down for a long time.”
Nate’s grin faded.
Bobbie Jean’s smile returned, brighter and wider. “Anyways, it’s a nice surprise and real decent of you to help out.” She headed toward her house, nodding at him over her shoulder. “Real decent.”
Nate watched until she entered the house, then climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. The headlights flooded the front porch, highlighting the colorful mums on the steps and the homey wreath on the door. It reminded him of the warm fire that had flickered in Amber’s living room last week when he’d held Savannah and sat by Amber’s side. Brought to mind how welcoming Elk Valley had seemed to him when he was a kid. Before his parents died and before he and Paul drank one too many beers, hiked up to the bluff and—
That swelling of pride he’d felt petered out, then plunged into his gut, dragging his shoulders down. Decent. Being called that had felt so good in that one moment.
A gleeful squeal pierced the heavy silence of the cab. Nate glanced in the rearview mirror, unable to see much more than the top of Mason’s blond head as it swiveled in the direction of the window.
But it was enough.
“Well...” He smiled. “Who said I can’t be decent again?”
The drive from Bobbie Jean’s to the café wasn’t a long one, but Nate took his time navigating the steep inclines and winding mountain roads, glancing in the rearview mirror at the three blond heads in the back every mile or so.
It was the strangest thing. Straddling a thousand-pound bull never fazed him but not being able to see his kids’ faces as he drove downright rattled him.
“Talk to me, rascals.” He readjusted
the mirror. “Y’all okay back there?”
Muffled babbles, high-pitched and demanding, echoed against the rear window of the SUV. That sounded like... Savannah? He laughed. How ʼbout that? Those sweet murmurs of hers as he’d watched Amber feed and bathe her each night had lodged somewhere in his memory.
He’d make it his business to familiarize himself with Mason’s and Dylan’s and by the end of another week, he’d be able to tell them apart simply by their voices. That would count as the first step on the bottom rung of the ladder toward being considered decent. One he fully intended to climb all the way to the top.
The soft lights of the café emerged over the hill.
“We’re here.” Nate parked on the back row of the tiny parking lot, unloaded the stroller, then ducked inside the backseat and smiled. “All right. Let’s surprise your mama. Ready to take a spin in your shiny new ride?”
Mason cooed, Savannah blinked and Dylan looked confused.
“Hmm.” Nate winked. “Guess that’s a yes.”
The car seat buckles were easier to undo and after a bit of maneuvering, he had all three babies settled in the stroller, pushing them slowly toward the café. They seemed to like it. Each one of them sat up straighter and craned their necks to look around. Even Dylan, in the very back, cracked a grin as the stroller bounced gently across the graveled lot.
“Like the ride, little man?” Nate drew to a stop at the entrance and smiled down at Dylan. The crisp fall breeze ruffled his blond hair against his flushed ears. “Wait till you get older. I’ll teach you how to ride an ornery bull.” He glanced into the café. “So long as your mama doesn’t...mind.”
Amber stood behind the counter, laughing. Right across from that slick bastard Will.
Cool it. Be decent.
Clenching his teeth, Nate opened the door, held it with his heel, then pushed the stroller inside. The bell over the door chimed as it closed behind him. Amber looked at the babies then him, her laughter fading.
Home on the Ranch: Tennessee Bull Rider Page 6