Then hurt me. If that’s what it takes for you to let me in.
Amber groaned in frustration, grabbed a pair of earrings from the dresser, then put them on. She tried her best to ignore the framed picture beside her jewelry box, but McBride’s smug smile got the best of her, boring a hole into her good conscience.
“That’s enough out of you.” She thumped him in the forehead, right between his bushy eyebrows. “I’m going over to Elk Valley Ranch in five minutes, all right? I’m gonna walk right up to Nate and then...”
Then what? Apologize? For what exactly? Wanting her space? Not being able to trust him? She was entitled to both, damn it.
But what about throwing up her guard so much it kept him from his children?
Amber looked down, her face heating. Well, yeah. She did owe him an apology for that. Even if she hadn’t done it intentionally.
“It’s his own fault, you know?” she said, nodding at McBride’s photo. “He’s the one who—” she glanced over her shoulder at her blissfully oblivious babies, then lowered her voice “—who loved me then left me, and not in the best sense, mind you. In the worst. Like I didn’t matter.” Her finger stabbed at his smile. “And just because I feel guilty about drawing some boundaries doesn’t mean I owe him anything.”
But...she kinda did. Didn’t she? If for no other reason than for the benefit of their two sons and daughter. Which was exactly why after six predawn cups of coffee, several bouts of pacing and a sudden surge of caffeine-laden confidence, she’d decided to go in late to work, see Nate first thing this morning and invite him to Elk Valley’s fall festival this weekend with her and the babies.
Without stirring Landon’s suspicions or fueling more backwoods gossip.
Her shoulders slumped. “Fat chance of that, yeah?”
McBride’s smile seemed to grow.
“That’s it.” She snatched up the framed photo, opened a drawer and tossed it inside. It clattered against the keys Nate had returned to her last night. “Sorry.” She kneed the drawer shut, then grabbed her hairbrush. “You’re just too gabby today.”
So here it was—she could A, stick to her guns and place Nate firmly in the square box labeled The Dad outside her home. Or B, she could swallow her pride, extend maybe one olive—no dang way she could manage a whole branch—then openly invite him into their babies’ lives. Which, as a by-product, meant hers, as well.
That would open the door for more of Nate’s husky whispers, sexy kisses and skin-tingling touches. Things, if she was being entirely honest with herself, she wanted more than she should despite having been burned by them before.
“Unh!”
Amber spun at the shout. Savannah’s face crumpled as she reached for Dylan’s mouth. He’d swiped her pacifier, happily poked it in his mouth and started sucking.
“Dylan, how could you?”
The little devil had the audacity to grin. His mouth slackened around the pacifier as he smiled and Savannah’s clumsy fingers managed to grab the edges enough to snatch it back. A whining match ensued as Savannah and Dylan made awkward, uncoordinated grabs for the pacifier. The toy piano clattered to the floor and Mason, disgruntled by the absence of bouncing music, scowled.
“All right.” Amber placed the hairbrush on the dresser and headed toward them. “We’re leaving right now to go see your dad.”
Because the longer she stayed, the more she wavered. And it wasn’t about her. Or Nate, for that matter. It was about what was best for their kids. They deserved—and needed—both of them in their lives.
A half hour later, despite it barely being 8:00 a.m., Elk Valley Ranch’s main grounds were bustling with a mob of guests. A large group of people was gathered in an open field, packing for a hike, and several more were lining up for horseback rides by the mouth of a nearby mountain trail. The pale autumn sun cut through the low-hanging mist over the valley, casting a cool glow over the sprawling landscape, and a soft breeze carried in the scent of pine.
Amber stood at the end of the driveway by her SUV, two hands on the stroller and head tipped back, absorbing the explosion of colors lining the mountain ridges and breathing in the crisp fall air.
“It’s so gorgeous here.” She bent, tugged Mason’s knit cap over his ears and mumbled, “I don’t know how Nate manages to keep walking away from this place.”
“My heavens, look who it is! And the babies.” A gasp. “Charlotte, she has the babies.”
Amber stifled a groan as her triplets swiveled their heads in the direction of the shrill voice. Okay. Maybe she could think of one reason why Nate would want to hightail it out of here.
Reluctantly, she faced the gleeful expression of the voice’s owner. “Good morning, Mrs. Darlene.”
Darlene Norton, retired schoolteacher and connoisseur of fine country gossip, pressed her manicured hands together and practically squealed, “I haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays, young lady.”
Mrs. Darlene was way too perky for eight in the morning. Always had been. A fact Amber remembered well from her days as a student in Mrs. Darlene’s tenth-grade class.
Amber smiled. “I’ve been a bit busy latel—”
“Well, I’d say so with these three adorable handfuls.” Darlene nudged the young brunette beside her. “Charlotte, I don’t think you’ve met Amber yet. She’s a former student—one of my best—and Landon Eason’s baby sister. You remember Landon, don’t you?” She cupped a hand beside her mouth and whispered, “The handsome young man at the feed and seed store yesterday.” She lowered her hand. “Amber owns the Elk Valley Café. You know, the one with the scrumptious muffins but bitter coffee?” She patted Amber’s arm. “No offense, Amber. I’ve never been a fan of caffeine on account of my acid reflux, and Charlotte, here, preferred your spiced apple cider. Charlotte just moved here from Ohio. She’s a new employee at Elk Valley Bank and Trust, just a sweet stroll from your café. We ate brunch there earlier this week and thoroughly enjoyed it, didn’t we?”
Charlotte smiled. “Oh, yes. It was deliciou—”
“Never mind that, Charlotte. Let me get a look at those babies.” Darlene leaned over the stroller, her coiffed hair not moving an inch, and crooned in front of Mason’s nose, “Aren’t you precious? I could just eat you up.”
Mason shrank back in his seat, eyes widening.
Darlene straightened, then tapped her pointer finger against her chin. “Now, if memory serves me right, I think there’s someone else you’re familiar with at Elk Valley Bank and Trust. Mr. Will Sanderson, perhaps?”
Amber bit the inside of her cheek and tried to remember her manners. “Will stops by the café for dinner occasionally.”
“Very occasionally from what I hear.” Darlene winked.
Charlotte blushed and looked down.
Amber smiled. “What brings you to Elk Valley Ranch so early this morning, Charlotte?”
She glanced up, expression brightening. “I heard how much fun the trail rides were and—”
“I told her she simply couldn’t make a reservation over the phone,” Darlene said. “To have the best ride, you need the best horse. Only Mac would be able to choose the one most suitable for her and he’s so busy around this land nowadays the only way to get a hold of him is to track him down in person.” She pursed her lips. “Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the stables this morning.”
“His brother was, though.” Charlotte’s blush returned. “Nate was very helpful.”
“Careful, Charlotte.” Darlene glanced around and lowered her voice. “I’ll admit that man’s easy on the eyes, but he’s hard on the heart. Reckless and impulsive, too. A nice girl is just asking for trouble with that one.”
Amber’s face tingled. She bent over the stroller and buttoned the top button on Savannah’s denim jacket. Good night above, did the woman ever stop to take a breath?
“Will Sanderson, on the other hand,�
�� Darlene continued, “he’d make a fine partner for a nice girl, and I imagine he’d be wonderful with children.” She paused, eyes narrowing. “By the way, why are you here this morning, Amber?”
“Did you ladies get a chance to book your trail ride?”
Amber looked up. Nate stood behind Darlene, who’d finally clamped her mouth shut—thank the good Lord. Though he spoke to Darlene and Charlotte, his tousled blond hair, strong, stubble-lined jaw and determined gaze faced her.
Pleasure fluttered in her belly, making her skin heat despite the chill in the morning air. Trouble for a nice girl? She renewed her grip on the stroller. The man was pure sin.
“We did,” Charlotte said. “I’m set up for next weekend. And I asked the receptionist to make a note for the trail guide to pair me with Shadow. Thank you for your help.”
Nate smiled at Charlotte. “Not a problem. I think you’ll enjoy the ride better with Shadow. She’s calm and gentle. Shouldn’t give you a bit of trouble.”
Amber stared. The last time she’d seen Nate smile like that had been at the rodeo in Texas when she’d watched him mingle with his friends from across the arena. It was relaxed. Unguarded. The kind of smile she used to tease out of him years ago. Not strained like the ones he managed to dredge up around her lately.
Oh, boy. Had she become just as much trouble for Nate as he was for her? Here he was, in town for barely more than a week and she’d sprung the news he was a father on him, put him in the awkward position of protecting a lie he hadn’t created and given him a come-to-Jesus meeting about his role in her life when he was trying to do something nice for her and their babies.
What in the world had she become? What had become of them?
“...show you the stables?”
Amber refocused on Nate and cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, what?”
He gestured toward the stroller. “I said Mac’s leading a hike right now so he’s not available to give you a tour of the stables. I’d be happy to show you around if you’d like?”
“But I didn’t—” She blinked, glanced at Darlene’s suspicious expression, then blurted, “Of course. That’d be great, thank you.”
He grinned, walked around the two women, then lifted his hands toward the stroller. “May I? The path gets rocky on the way up the hill.”
“Sure.” Amber stepped back and smiled at Charlotte. “It was nice meeting you. Elk Valley really is a wonderful town. Small, maybe, but there are a lot of hidden treasures like this ranch. I’d be happy to give you a tour sometime.”
Charlotte nodded, relief lighting her eyes. “I’d love that. I’ll stop by the café soon.”
“Appreciate you stopping by this morning, ladies.” Nate pushed the stroller past Charlotte and Darlene. “Always good to see you, Mrs. Darlene.”
Amber rolled her lips as she followed his lead and stifled a laugh. There wasn’t a trace of sarcasm in Nate’s remark, but she knew better.
Darlene’s eyebrows rose, a pleased look crossing her face. “It was nice seeing you, too, Nate. Perhaps we’ll see you around town a bit more this year? Maybe you’ll consider staying more than one week at a time? I’m sure Mac would be glad of it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Nate dipped his head and continued walking up the dirt path.
Amber quickened her pace, then smiled at Nate’s side. “I see your mama raised you right.”
His mouth quirked. “Yep.” He glanced at her. “Looked like the Mouth of the South had you cornered. Figured I’d step in, help you out.”
“Darlene’s harmless. Means well.” She glanced over her shoulder, smile dying. “Most of the time anyway.”
Darlene huddled up with Charlotte and whispered as they walked away. Didn’t take much for Amber to figure out what she was saying. Heck, she’d heard the same phrases spoken behind her back for the past few months whenever she showed up in town with the babies.
Such a good mother. Shame she’s on her own.
Heard she barely knew those babies’ father. Thought she was a good girl.
That’s what happens when a woman lets a man override her common sense.
Amber cringed. That was the only drawback to living in Elk Valley. Make one mistake and it stained your good name—at least until the next scandal.
“Hey.” Nate nudged her with his elbow. “Where’d you go?”
“Just thinking.” She faced him, her smile returning as she recalled the most ridiculous commentary on her life choices. “I was the topic of discussion recently. Seems I have a new nickname.”
Nate’s brow furrowed. “What’s that?”
“Floozy.” She laughed. “I hadn’t heard that one in a while.”
He stopped, then spun in the direction of the fields. “Did someone here call you that?”
“No.” Amber tugged him back around. “It happened last week in the jelly aisle in the grocery store. Some woman I didn’t know. But apparently, she thought she knew me pretty well. You, too, for that matter.”
His eyes clouded with confusion.
“Not you, specifically,” she added. “It was in reference to my partner in sin. The father of my children? Seems you’re a philanderer.” She grinned. “Pretty old-school labels they’re using, don’t you think?” She spread her hands skyward. “There are so many contemporary ones much richer with insult.”
Shoulders relaxing, he shook his head and resumed walking. “I don’t know how you manage to make light of it. Your personal life is none of their business.”
“Nope. But it makes for good entertainment, doesn’t it?” She shrugged. “If I’d had one baby, it would’ve been interesting tittle-tattle. But triplets? Well now, that catapulted me into the floozy hall of fame.”
Nate didn’t smile. Or laugh, as she’d hoped. Instead, his frown deepened.
“Doesn’t mean anything,” she said softly. “Not really. It’s just one of the quirks of living here. Most of them care about me and the babies just as much as they talk about us.” She reached down and squeezed Dylan’s shoulder. “Besides Landon and Bobbie Jean, Mrs. Darlene was the first person to visit us after I’d had them. She brought me a ton of diapers, wipes and about a week’s worth of frozen casseroles. Even warmed one up for me before she left. So you see, there’s good underneath it all. Just have to forgive the bad, I guess.”
His knuckles turned white around the stroller. “Even if they don’t return the favor?”
She eyed the hard set of his jaw and remained silent.
When they reached the stable, he stopped inside the entrance. “Does Landon know you’re here?”
“No. I called him before I left and let him know I was going in late to the café. Told him he had another day off uncle duty.”
Amber looked up, taking in the high arch of the wood ceiling and decorative carvings around the edges of the new stalls. It was quiet, save for a soft neigh here or there. All of the hands and most of the horses had already set out on morning trail rides. Sunlight filtered in, casting a nostalgic feel over the open space, and she breathed in the sweet smell of hay appreciatively.
“I didn’t know Mac had renovated the stables, too,” she said. “It’s beautiful.”
Nate nodded as he crouched in front of the stroller. “He and Dani drew up the plans together not long after their wedding. Turned out real nice. So I wasn’t telling a total lie when I said I’d give you a tour.” He winked. “My mama would’ve been proud of that, too.” He ran his hands gently over the babies’ knit caps, twirling a blond curl around his finger when he reached Savannah. “Hey, rascals. I missed you.”
Savannah chortled and Dylan giggled. Mason stretched out his arms and babbled at him.
Nate smiled. The big, beautiful kind of smile he used to sport years ago, a hint of pride in his expression. “They remember me.”
Amber froze as Nate glanced up at her, his eyes sobering.
She twisted her hands together. “I really am sorry for not telling you, Nate. And for lying to Landon and putting you in an awkward position with him.”
“Please don’t apologize.” He stood. “I don’t agree with what you did.” Walking to her side, he looked across the grounds at the now-empty spot where Darlene and Charlotte had been. “But I understand why you did it.”
She stepped back and leaned against the wall. “I want this to work.”
“This?”
“Us working together as parents.” She smiled as the stroller shook. It was impossible to see much from behind. Just the thrust of a small hand or foot as their sons and daughter played. “They’re happy but I know they’ll be even happier with you in their lives. That’s why I came. I wanted to make up for cutting your time with them short last night and invite you to join us at the fall festival on Saturday. I have to run a booth for the café and I thought it’d give you a chance to spend some time with them. Help you get to know each other better.”
“I’d love that. Thank you.” He moved closer, his hard biceps and muscular thighs brushing against her as he asked softly, “And what about us?”
She pressed her palms to the wall to keep from sliding them over the smooth T-shirt stretched across his broad chest. “What do you mean?”
“There’s something else I think we need to clear up if this is gonna work.” He tucked a wayward curl behind her ear, his light touch sending a delicious shiver through her. “I never—not once—stopped looking back. Truth is, I didn’t want to stop thinking about you while I was away. You were one of the reasons I came home. The first person I wanted to see. And after I left your place last night, I had a heck of a time forgetting how great it feels to kiss you.”
“Y-you...” His words made her brain short-circuit.
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