Xander paced the length of Jolene’s hallway, pausing to glare at her bedroom door each time he passed it. No amount of knocking, cajoling, threatening, or force had budged it or her, and after a time Sulieman accepted it, going to sit with Arion and discuss his new thoughts and opinions on the Caprine issue. Xander couldn’t settle, couldn’t take up the reins of his job, and that was the witch’s fault. He knew he was blaming her in an irrational fashion, but daren’t look past it. She submitted to his correction with true grace, admitting to her perfidy, and yet he couldn’t admit to his own. Xander divined her thoughts just before she shut him and Sulie out, and his twin tumbled to it just a fraction of a second later.
Their witch thought to mate with Sulieman alone because he had been forthright with her, honest in his intentions. And at a time when her emotional guard was down and he intruded on her and Sulie, shared in the magyk, she’d sought to fling it in his face. Yet she’d been quick to make amends when she realized what she had done. It took only the time in her bath, while Sulie cared for her, for Jolene to understand they were truly inseparable as brothers, as twins, and then she accepted his oft-repeated edict. That he would never mate with a human, ever, although he willingly and enthusiastically had sex with her and would want to do so again. She then gathered the shreds of her tattered dignity around her, much like her towel, and fled. What else could she have done? He experienced her pain even as he felt her come to the conclusion, and she rejected them both with all the power of her magyk, raised in the face of her hurt at his rejection. Xander nearly fell in the face of it, and the anguish on Sulieman’s face spoke louder than any words. He sighed and stopped pacing. It was done then. He had prevailed. He made his feet carry him back to the kitchen, and Arion and his brother stood to meet him.
“We need to get out to the ranch, Xander.” Arion’s tone reflected nothing other than business, and his face was carefully blank, although his eyes were like pale stones. “I have a theory I will share on the drive there. It is time we talked with the Caprines. We’ll take them back into our realm, all of them that are present, and there will be a discussion.”
Xander nodded and looked at his twin. Sulieman stared back at him as though he was a stranger, and for the first time ever, he couldn’t read his brother. Then Sulie stepped forward and walked toward the door, clapping him briefly on the shoulder as he passed. Arion moved next, and Xander followed, pausing once to look down the hallway before carefully locking and closing the door. It shut tightly with a finality underscoring everything Xander felt. He wondered that his brother could bear to be near him when he couldn’t stand to be with himself.
Xander sat in the backseat of the van and forced himself to listen to Arion as he drove at a hellish pace toward the ranch. Sulieman also appeared to be intent on Arion’s revelations.
“It was your witch’s comments that made me think about this situation from a different viewpoint.”
Xander opened his mouth to tell Arion Jolene wasn’t theirs, but Sulieman spoke first.
“Jolene has made her choice, Arion. I told you she shut us out by employing her magyk. You know as well as I do, better even, that there is no changing things now. She is not our witch and never was, actually. I was mistaken.”
Xander stared at the back of his brother’s head, and his gut clenched so hard it nearly doubled him over. Sulie spoke in a calm, indifferent tone that very nearly masked the agony raging within. He accepted what he couldn’t change, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t affected by it, and deeply so. And through it all he tried to spare Xander. Arion appeared convinced, but Xander knew differently. Xander was suffering as well. His anger and disgust at his bigotry first diluted his pain and then intensified it twofold because of the lack of righteousness in it. It was a curious sensation and one he didn’t think he could cope with for any length of time. Once this business with the Caprines was finished, he would propose a healing journey to the forests. He only hoped Sulieman would be forgiving enough to accompany him.
“Well then, as unfortunate as that may be, Xander, I would have you know Jolene Phillips has given me insight into our problem. I suspect the Caprines are restive in regard to their status, or lack thereof, at home, and are seeking to find a female in this realm, one with magyk who will connect with them. I suspect they are ripe for rebellion, and it astounds me even as it makes sense.”
Xander heard Arion’s theory and grabbed it as the lifeline it wasn’t. This realm corrupted the Caprines, turned them into the very beings he so despised, greedy, thoughtless, grasping creatures with no thought for others or their surroundings. He said as much into the quiet and was met by absolutely no response in the short term.
Finally, Sulieman said wearily, “If it salves your conscience to impose blame, then so be it, Xander. But I for one think we have been somewhat lax in our inclusion of our varied kinfolk at home. We have brought this on ourselves in my opinion. This realm is merely serving a purpose for our fellow herd dwellers, much as we might have done ourselves were we in their position.”
The rest of the journey was made in total silence. Xander wondered at the state of his being that he had become so desperate. He managed not to groan out loud when his mind forced him to meet his heart face on. He had fallen in love, hooves over heels, with a lover of horses, a witch with silvery eyes and a petite, strong, dancer’s body and round, luscious breasts. A witch with spirit and compassion and honor and the ability to love, even when she was forced to settle for less. And he had driven her away just as the legends of old spoke of other arrogant Ipotanes doing so, to their complete and utter downfall. Xander’s despair filled him, and he stared blindly out the window into the night, reminded of another time he had driven this road beside a little dancer who was destined to be his mate and his brother’s. Chiron sent her, and Xander ignored the signs, masked as they were by his own xenophobia. Sulie couldn’t hate him as much as he hated himself.
He went into the ranch house with the rest of the team, and the Caprines were easily subdued and taken prisoner, sated by alcohol and sex as they were. The women were confused and bewildered and not a little frightened, but accepted the magyk-infused suggestion that their dates were being arrested and taken for questioning. They were asked to wait until morning before making their way home and appeared most willing to comply. Arion wove his magyk well. The Caprine named Terach was nowhere to be found, and neither was Jolene’s friend, Becky. Xander was bothered by this turn of events, but they had everyone else accounted for, and he assumed Terach would come home once he found his comrades gone.
They returned to their realm en masse, something that likely resonated in every far corner as the barrier bent and shifted to accommodate them all, to where the Council waited and the discussions immediately began. Xander left that business to Arion and his like-minded colleagues and went home to pack a few things. It was a relief to be back in this form, and if he kept thinking of a little human witch with thick chestnut hair and silvery gray eyes, well, that would soon pass when he looked up a few of his past sexual partners. He would see his mother and father first, and then take his healing journey. To Xander’s surprise, because he still could not easily read his brother, Sulieman wordlessly accompanied him.
Chapter Fourteen
It really wasn’t that difficult to pack up and move one’s life. It wasn’t like she had real ties here or a job that couldn’t do without her. Jolene e-mailed the one client she was waiting on to accept her proposal and quote, advising she was no longer in the event planning business, and then took down her website and tossed her business cards. She called Miss Minagre and lied right into that woman’s trusting ear, citing a family emergency necessitating a move home. Jolene didn’t have a home, but that was a trifling matter in the face of things. Her instructor was very disappointed and wanted to converse for a much longer period of time than Jolene could bear. She told Miss Minagre her uncle was waiting for her so she had to go, and the older woman reluctantly bade her farewe
ll. She contacted her landlord, who was only too happy to let her out of her lease. He would be able to raise the rent, and considering the dearth of vacancies in the city, would likely have new tenants in a heartbeat.
Jolene offered her furniture to her neighbors in the building, watching her treasured little chair go first. It stung, but she would never be able to look at it again in the same way, let alone sit in it. It was as though Xander imprinted himself there. Sulieman left the little leather tie from his hair behind. She found it lying beside the bed and retrieved it from the trash basket moments after she threw it there. She tucked it in with her little sack of jewelry and tried not to wonder why. There was really nothing else to pack, aside from some shoes and clothes, a couple of pictures, and her laptop. She hauled all her remaining linens and the bulk of her collection of clothing to a secondhand shop, throwing in the cowboy boots at the last moment, resolving to put all of her memories away. It simply hurt too much to remember the intensity of those few days, and so far she had been successful in locking everything down tightly. When the apartment was bare and the woman who’d been the recipient of most of her furniture offered to clean it, there was nothing left to hang around for. Jolene took one last look. She had one suitcase to tow, her purse, and her laptop case. It really said a lot about her that she could just pack up and leave. It had taken under three days, start to finish. She hadn’t put in a change of address with the post office, expecting no mail, for everything she needed could be done online. Jolene called a cab and hauled her bag down the stairs to await it. It arrived in no time, and she directed the driver to the bus depot. She didn’t look back.
The only thing piercing her self-imposed, utter lack of feeling was her inability to reach Becky to say good-bye. She spoke with Becky’s roommate the morning she got up after the sleep of the dead to find herself totally alone, the apartment empty and echoing, much like her heart. It had been her choice, and necessary, but other than a note on the table from Arion with a number to text, it was as if it had all been a dream. Or a painful nightmare. She’d torn that note into tiny little pieces and pretended she hadn’t committed the number to memory. Georgia assured her Becky was home, that she actually had eyes on her, but Becky was refusing to talk to Jolene. Jolene immediately headed over to talk to her friend, face-to-face. After reluctantly letting her inside, Becky went off on her, accusing her of turning Terry and his friends into the police for some imagined illegal activity. They apparently raided the place and took all the men away. Terry and Becky were out at the time, shopping for food and more beer, and came back to a house occupied only by women. Terry drove Becky home, dropped her off, and told her they were over. Becky was distraught and needed to blame someone, and nothing Jolene said could change that fact. There was something else, too, but Becky couldn’t be convinced to share. Jolene knew friendships didn’t always survive the trials of a broken love affair, but kept calling. Becky never called back, and Georgia soon lost patience, refusing to play middleman.
Jolene paid the cabbie and called Becky one last time before she went in to buy her ticket. This time Becky answered, although clearly regretted not checking the call display.
“I just want to say good-bye, Becky.” Jolene hurried to get the words out before Becky hung up on her.
“What?”
“I’m at the bus depot, and wanted to say good-bye.”
“But I thought… Wait, is Terry with you? Why aren’t you taking his truck?”
“What are you talking about?” Jolene had recent personal proof the world was crazy, but Becky was making absolutely no sense.
“Terry told me he was going to ask you out.” The flat statement was belied by the hurt in her friend’s voice.
“Ask me out? What for? Why would he ask me out?” Jolene shoved her suitcase under the nearest bench and sat down, hard, her laptop case banging against her shins.
“Oh, Jolene. I screwed up. Wait there. I’m coming.”
Jolene heard the disconnect and pulled her cell away from her ear to stare at it in amazement. She glanced around. It was like some comedy or prank show where the person made those big gestures of astonishment in response to something unthinkable. She had no idea what just happened, but she had nothing but time to wait and find out. She had a choice of buses after all. She tucked the phone back in her purse and slouched against the iron back of the bench and watched the street and the parking lot, ignoring the pedestrians who alternately walked and rushed around her. About twenty minutes later, she spotted Becky’s little red car flying toward her. It turned into the lot and after an obviously spirited exchange between the attendant and her friend, Becky ran toward her, blonde curls flying. Jolene could see the streak of tears on her friend’s face, and she stepped forward to hug her.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Becky babbled and wept. “Men are assholes, and I should have known better. It’s just that I really fell for him.”
Jolene felt for a tissue in her pocket and gave it to her friend. “Here. Let’s go inside and have coffee. I can’t leave my bags unattended.”
Becky accompanied her, taking the laptop to carry, and they found a booth in the restaurant that served the bus depot patrons. Jolene ordered them both hot chocolate and apple pie, reasoning she deserved the calories after all she’d been through. She immediately halted that train of thought and focused on Becky, who didn’t disappoint.
“Terry told me he didn’t make commitments, and while he liked me and all, he dated around. That really meant he fucked around. That man was insatiable and could go all night!” Becky paused and looked into the distance for a moment before continuing. “And he asked about you a lot after you came to get me that morning at the ranch. I know it was just a quick romance, but I think I fell in love with him. I can’t think of anything else, and I can’t eat, and I can’t sleep.” Becky blew her nose in the tissue then pulled some napkins from the dispenser to wipe under her eyes, carefully blotting her mascara.
“I thought he was just interested in my friends and my life because he didn’t seem to really notice you in that way, you know? I didn’t think anything of it until he got so upset that his house had been raided, and he started talking about you. I know he didn’t do anything wrong and no cops came around looking for him, so, hell, I don’t know.”
Jolene hardly knew what to say. Probably it was best she didn’t say anything other than reassure Becky she never had any designs on Terry and hadn’t heard from him, never saw him since the day she picked Becky up at the ranch.
“I wouldn’t give him your address either.” Becky sounded ridiculously proud of that small victory, and Jolene smiled at her.
“Thanks for that, Becky. I can’t believe he actually asked you for it! What guy would think his girlfriend would help him find another girl? Crazy.”
“I wasn’t his girlfriend,” Becky said darkly. “I just can’t believe I thought you gave him some sign you were interested, Jolene. I mean, all the guys thought you had something special, I heard them talking about it, but Terry wasn’t one of them. I felt pretty good about that!”
Jolene felt little cold fingers of awareness walk up her spine, and she managed not to turn and look around her. It felt as though someone was watching her. She forced a smile at Becky and squeezed her hand. It sounded insane and very cloak and daggerish, but she had to ask.
“Did you notice if anyone followed you here?”
“What? Followed me?”
It was a day for incredulous questions, and Jolene tried to cover her faux pas with laughter. “Just giving you a hard time, Becky. I’m teasing you, like Terry would go to such lengths.”
Becky stilled and looked at her strangely. “Are you saying Terry wants to get with you so badly he followed me here, thinking I would be seeing you at some point? What’s going on, Jolene?”
In for a penny, in for a pound. She didn’t know how she was going to explain things, but she absolutely knew someone was watching her now, and it wasn’
t casual. Her magyk was speaking, albeit in a far-off, echoey manner, weak and fading. She had ferociously willed it away and thought it obeyed, but it wasn’t gone completely. It was like a distant friend who had her back. She took a deep breath.
“I’ve been watching too much television again, Becky. All those detective and spy shows. I thought I saw Terry’s truck drive by right after you parked.” That lie slipped past her lips like silk, and Jolene mentally crossed her fingers and hurried to finish it. “I doubt it’s me he’s looking for, though. He’s probably trying to fix things up with you.”
Becky relaxed and gave a little laugh. “Well, if he is, he’s in for a surprise. I just got my priorities straight. No guy is worth screwing up a friendship of five years, Jolene. He can suck eggs.”
Jolene sighed in relief and motioned for the check.
“Are you leaving so soon?” Becky’s voice and lower lip trembled.
“No. I thought we could go back to your place and hang out for a while. I’m in no hurry to leave, really have no place to be, and I’ve missed you.”
Becky was all over that plan, and after they paid the tab, they traipsed out to her vehicle, hauling the luggage. Jolene hoped it gave Terry the impression she was returning and not leaving. She knew intuitively Terry had some plans for her she wouldn’t approve of or particularly enjoy. She wasn’t afraid as much as very anxious not to have to deal with him because it would remind her of what she was steadfastly not thinking about. And if it wasn’t Terry watching her, then it could be no one else she ever cared to see again.
She spent the night at Becky’s, and they shared a bottle of wine and ordered pizza. It was a time of total caloric decadence, filled with giggles and confidences and not a few tears, although Jolene couldn’t eat any more of the pizza than she had managed with the pie. She couldn’t swallow past the lump in her throat. This time with Becky felt like the end of an era to Jolene, yet she also welcomed the closure. It was unlikely she and Becky would really connect in the future. Neither made enough money to travel a lot, and while they promised one another to always stay in contact, it probably wouldn’t happen. Jolene had already decided to let her cell phone contract expire and essentially separate herself from this life and the place of both her becoming and her undoing. Her heart missed a beat as the wall around her memory cracked. She shoved her wineglass away.
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