Jackie left the room with me, and I took advantage of the small hallway to keep her close. “So, what did you think?” I asked her as we walked.
I really was interested in knowing her thoughts and her opinions of my team.
I looked down at her as we stood in the atrium. There was something so warm and earthy about her and, with the sunlight shining through the glass, it made me feel so comfortable to be beside her. Maybe that’s why I wanted to kiss her, even though no one was around. I started to move closer, and I had the feeling that she was going to step back. She surprised me when she brought her lips to mine. It was the perfect kiss for a romance movie, inviting with just the right amount of magic to cause sparks to fly.
It felt so easy to deepen the kiss and hold her against me. The feel of her soft skin under my hands was like satin as one of them slid up to hold her neck from behind. Her soft flowing hair tickled the back of my hand.
“Excuse me, Mr. Palmer, but you are going to ruin your makeup if you keep that up,” I heard Marie say as she entered. I knew she’d been coming down the hallway, but until she spoke, I had put her aside, concentrating on what was in front of me.
“It’s worth having it redone for a kiss like this, Marie.” And I meant every word of it.
After I told Troy we would do the interview in the study, I led Jackie outside to the patio. I liked to get fresh air before I did interviews. I wanted the feel of the sun on my skin before I switched it over to the brightness of the artificial lighting they used.
I noticed that she tensed up when we got outside. “What's wrong?”
“Why did you tell reporters that I didn’t fear evil?”
I shook my head because even now, six months later, that whole scenario blew my mind. Finally, I was getting my chance to ask her about why she had done what she had. “How did you even know he was going to do that?”
She took it all so lightly, and I wondered how she did that. I couldn’t understand how she looked at it as just a job when it was my life she was talking about.
The sound of her laughter warmed me as she put her chin up and the sun shone down on her face.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
She sighed but didn’t look at me when she answered. “I told you before. There was no reason to call. I knew you were grateful. I just wanted all the fanfare to go away.”
It was obvious she had no idea how much that event had affected me. It changed me in ways I didn’t know I needed to change. I realized then that I was just an idol to people, and I was not important to anyone in particular. I wanted to be important to someone, not just some handsome actor everyone fawned over.
Troy joined us, and we discussed pictures for the interview and of the house. I figured it was a good time to get Jackie into a romantic setting without it being so obvious, so we walked out toward the white fences.
Although my thoughts were on romance, Jackie brought it back to business with questions about the threats I’d received. We talked for a few minutes about it all, but I really had other thoughts in mind. It was hard not to have these thoughts when she was right next to me.
I pulled her close and locked her arm around her back as we came together. As our bodies contacted, she told me she didn’t want me using my cell phone. Was she jealous?
“I don’t care who you talk to. You can call all the women you want. I just want to make sure your phone isn’t compromised.” So she wasn’t jealous. Once again, she was doing her job. Well, time to change that.
“There is no other woman I want to talk to right now, only you.” When my lips touched hers, I felt the electricity spike through us both. She wound her arm around my shoulders and slid her hand to my neck. The feel of her hand on my skin caused me to shiver, and I ignored the whistle in the distance.
When Troy whistled again, I knew I needed to stop before I started giving the photographers more than they needed. I had been ready to lay her down on the ground and make love to her right there.
I looked away from her as soon as the kiss ended, trying to suppress the rising heat in my body. As we’d hoped, a photographer was standing on the patio taking shots of us together. Interestingly, I found I didn’t like the intrusion when it came to my time alone with Jackie. For the first time, it felt as if my privacy had been truly invaded. I knew this was all supposed to be an act, and the scene we just put on was for this specific purpose, but I suddenly wanted to protect Jackie from what we just shared.
Still, I knew that we’d just done what we set out to do. “That probably gave them some good shots. They will be splashed all over the place by the end of today.” This is all for a purpose, and we did what we had to for that, nothing else. Yeah, right!
The photographer continued to shoot pictures of us as we walked back to the house. When we got closer, I put my hand up and told them that was enough. At least the man was decent enough to stop when asked. Some photographers weren’t so kind. It was probably only because he already had some seriously intimate photos to use.
I introduced Jacquelyn to several of the people who were there for the interview. “Mr. Palmer, is Jacquelyn going to join us for the interview? You know we would love to get her thoughts on your latest filming,” the producer said. I was about to answer when Jackie spared me.
“Thank you so much, but to be honest, I’m not much for interviews. I’d prefer to just watch. Maybe another time we can do that.” I caught her eye and winked just as Marie grabbed me to freshen up my makeup.
Troy made a beeline for Jackie the moment I was busy. It was probably a good thing not to leave her alone with all those people.
“So you seem to be pretty serious about this girl,” Marie stated as I sat back down in the chair, “I have seen you with a lot of women, but I have never seen you quite so intimate in public before.”
I chuckled. “I guess I can’t help what I feel.” And exactly what was that? Marie studied me in the mirror and picked up a brush; with a small, tight smile, she went to work touching up my makeup.
Jacquelyn wasn’t in the room when I returned, but as I got settled in for the interview, I saw her come in and stand to the side. She leaned against the wall the same way she did the first time I saw her in the airport, with her arms crossed over her chest. She wasn’t looking at me; she studied the room. Her eyes were steady as they scanned and I realized that she had automatically gone into work mode.
For a few minutes, I observed her as she took in the room, but I brought my focus back to the interview when I finally needed to. The first interview went well, and before I knew it the second one was about to start. I didn’t have much of a break in between, and no chance at all to talk to Jackie.
She stood against the wall for both interviews, always watching the people. If she watched me during the interview, I didn’t know it. When the last one was over, I went to see Marie who quickly took off the makeup. Then I went in search of Jacquelyn.
I found her on the third floor balcony looking out through the atrium’s glass at the sun. It was getting lower in the sky, and the colors were exploding around it as it neared the horizon. She seemed lost in thought as I approached her. Her expression was intense and far away. I was hesitant to step closer, so I stopped a few feet away.
With my hands resting on the wooden railing, I watched as the sun began to set. She didn’t move. She just kept staring straight ahead; I wondered if she even realized I was there.
“So…I know you don’t eat breakfast, but do you eat dinner?” I asked casually as I glanced sideway over my shoulder at her. Her eyes unclouded as if she was coming out of a deep sleep.
“Oh, Ryan, I’m sorry. I was lost in the view.” She peeked quickly over at me before turning back to look out the window. Then she stopped and turned to focus on me. This time, as her eyes traveled over my facial features, I found myself not moving, afraid to break the intense examination she was giving me.
“Hey, you guys want Chinese? I’m gonna call in an order,” Troy yelled from the
bottom floor. Jackie and I locked eyes for a moment longer before she glanced over the balcony.
“Sure, that sounds good,” she yelled down.
When Jackie headed toward the stairs, I reached out to grab her arm. “Jackie, wait…”
“Not now, Ryan.” She shook her head and pulled out of my grasp easily.
I watched her descend and wondered what was wrong and why it bothered me that I didn’t know.
Chapter 12
Jacquelyn
The way the interviews were conducted was interesting, especially the starting and stopping of the cameras to make sure they got the best views. The reporters asked endless questions, some over and over again, to make sure it was the way they wanted it, or Ryan wanted it.
There were a lot of people in the study, and while I kept one eye on Ryan, I watched the others in the room, too. Always scanning, always searching for something that might seem out of place. I observed Markus when he entered the room at one point. He didn’t see me, and it gave me a chance to really examine him. He was watching Ryan closely. Almost too closely.
For a few minutes, he listened to the interview, and then got on his cell phone and messed around with a few things before he looked straight up and into my face. I gave a tight smile, but he just glared at me for a few seconds, then turned and slithered out the door. I didn’t like him and I wasn’t sure if it was because I just didn’t like him, or because there was something not quite right about him.
While the interviews proceeded, I half-heartedly listened as Ryan answered endless questions about his latest movie, the one he was starting to film tomorrow, and the questions they geared to get more information about me. It took everything I had to keep from running from the room as people glanced over at me time and time again. One of the interviewers tried to get me to come in front of the camera, but I adamantly refused as politely as I could.
I was exhausted by the end of the interviews and wondered how Ryan still looked perfectly relaxed after hours of dealing with all this crazy activity. I had to remind myself that this was his life; being in front of a camera and acting for people was his job.
After the interviews, Ryan was whisked away. I would have followed, but I saw Troy walking out with him. I quickly disappeared from the production staff that was packing up and made my way upstairs. I needed a few minutes alone to think.
My intent was to go up to my room to ponder everything from today, but when I got to the top landing, the colors of the sky stopped me and I stood gazing out the window over the pasture behind the house. The sun was setting and if I thought the sunrise was breath taking, I had no words for the sunset. I was immediately lost in the moment as thoughts invaded my mind.
I knew that within a few hours, the photographs that were taken of us would spread quickly all over the internet and on every TV station. What would my friends think about all of this? Man, I hadn’t even called Rebecca to tell her about it. She was going to freak out. I also knew, she wouldn’t be the only one. I would not be surprised to hear from Jimmy tonight as soon as the news got out.
My thoughts kept going back to the kiss that we shared out near the pasture. The kiss that had devoured part of my soul, and melted my toes as it warmed my insides close to a boiling point. What did we look like as we stood in the throes of passion?
Those pictures would be flashed all over the world, and I would forever be known as one of Ryan Palmer’s women. That thought irked me, and I needed to figure out how to protect myself in all of this. How could I keep my heart from becoming involved with a man I could never have?
That was easy. My past kept people at a distance. I couldn’t let anyone close to me. I had no choice. Would this cause a problem? Maybe. I had to figure this out quickly before they got involved.
I learned a long time ago to keep people at a distance and to keep my heart detached. I would never trust myself to love someone again; I couldn’t afford to. That was why Jimmy and I had stayed so quiet about our relationship.
With Ryan in my life, it could be more dangerous for us both physically and mentally. I couldn’t afford to bring harm upon him.
My past haunted me to the point that I wondered if I would ever be free to love someone again. Would there be a time when I could trust that no harm would come to the person I loved?
Ryan startled me out of my depressing thoughts and I realized how low the sun was. How long had I stood there lost in my haunted memories?
“Oh, Ryan, I’m sorry. I was lost in the view,” I murmured as I glanced at him. I meant to turn right back, but the last of the sunlight coming through the window made him glow. His face was so beautiful in this light. Yeah, I know men shouldn’t be beautiful, but at that moment, he was. I could fall in love with that face. Ah, hell! I was already in love with that face. It was the man inside who scared me to death; but falling in love was not an option, and this was just a job.
“Hey, you guys want Chinese? I’m going to call in an order,” Troy yelled from the bottom floor. I kept staring at Ryan, unable to look away from his contemplative expression, until I realized that someone had actually spoken to me. I had to rewind in my mind to remember what Troy asked.
“Sure, that sounds good,” I answered over the railing.
I turned to head downstairs, but Ryan reached out and grasped my arm. I quickly removed my forearm from his hand and kept walking.
“Not now, Ryan.” I couldn’t say more at that moment, and I didn’t think I would be able to handle another long, elegant kiss without breaking down completely. The look on his face said he wanted exactly that, and more. I couldn’t give him more. Not now, not ever.
I found Troy in the kitchen glancing over a menu. “So, what did you think of today?” he asked as he pushed the menu toward me.
I climbed up on a stool and picked up the menu to look over my choices. Hong Kong Chinese, good pick; I ordered from them myself. “You guys do a lot of those?” I asked as I pushed the menu back his way. I knew what I wanted, the same thing I always got.
“Quite a few at the start of a production, and then after he finishes filming, we do a ton of them.” He smiled. “What do you want?”
“Shrimp cashew and an egg roll, please.” He wrote it down and smirked. “What?”
“That’s the same thing Ryan always gets.” He lifted his head up. “You two actually have more in common than you think.”
I snorted. “Yeah, okay!”
He walked around the kitchen island to stand next to me. “I think you’d be surprised by him if you gave him a chance.”
I considered what Troy said for a moment. A chance for what? I pressed my lips together, unsure of how to answer.
“Just keep an open mind, Jackie, and give him a chance.” He put his hand on my shoulder as he spoke and squeezed gently. He was a very touchy man, and normally, I didn’t like that, but I really clicked with Troy and his touchiness didn’t bother me for some reason. I still didn’t know what to say, so I acknowledged with a single nod.
“I’m going to go call this in and then send Drew out to pick it up. We’ll eat in the family room so that we can watch TV and see if you guys show up on the seven o’clock entertainment news.”
I sighed without realizing it. I was staring at the counter when Troy turned and came back to me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. What could I say? It didn’t matter to them that my township sold me out to be a call girl to Ryan. It didn’t matter to anyone other than me that while I did this, my heart and my soul were going to be hurt, and my reputation would be put out there with all those other groupie women.
Troy squeezed my shoulder again and walked away. I put my forehead down on the cold marble of the counter after he left the room. I could not imagine what my friends were all going to say when they heard about this. And what about Jimmy? I knew I was really lost in thought when, for the second time that night, someone was able to walk up on me without me knowing.
I jumped when a hand tou
ched my shoulder, and I reached for the small of my back where I normally kept my off-duty weapon, but I wasn’t wearing it today.
Ryan stood in front of me with his hands up in a defensive position after he took a quick step back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
I relaxed back onto the stool. “Sorry, Ryan. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Obviously.” He pulled up another stool and sat down beside me. He was close enough that his knee brushed the side of my leg. He didn’t move it away. I couldn’t handle the feeling of his leg touching mine, so I shifted my legs away from his. If I thought he wouldn’t notice, I was wrong. His face registered something, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
We sat quietly for a moment, and I watched him from the corner of my eye. He was studying me as I pretended to stare at the stainless steel fridge. He reached out toward me, and I tried not to flinch when his hand came to my neck. He was only reaching for my pendant.
“What saint is this?” he asked as he fingered my small silver medallion.
“Saint Michael,” I replied as I peeked over at him. He examined it.
“Are you Catholic?” He cocked his head and looked at me.
“No, but just because I’m not Catholic doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in the power of it.”
He looked confused. “What power?”
“The power of protection. Saint Michael is the protector of law enforcement.” I met his gaze, and he nodded slowly in understanding.
He let go of my pendant. I felt it slap back against my skin softly. It was warm from the heat of his fingers, and it reminded me of when his hands were on me earlier. I squirmed on my seat as he reached for my arm, but I realized he was just reaching for the wristband I was wearing, not my hand.
“What does this say?” He pulled my arm closer so that he could see it better.
“Heroes Live Forever.” The touch of his hand on my arm was hot, and my heart thumped like a drum in my chest.
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