“That she is what? And who are we talking about?” he asked as he flopped down in the chair next to Rose. Ryan would either have to sit next to me or on a stool at the counter.
“Ryan said she was a dedicated employee.” Rose pointed to me as she answered him. Ryan turned with his mug up to his lips, our eyes met and he looked away. Okay, not his normal behavior. He must be upset with me?
I stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a few things to do.” I set my coffee mug in the sink and walked the long way around the kitchen to avoid Ryan. I snatched my backpack off the floor and left three people staring at my back.
I heard Troy speak as I turned the corner. “Something I said?” I heard Rose’s faded laughter as I made my way down to the study that we used for work.
I dropped my backpack by the desk and stood in front of the window with my arms crossed. Was Ryan angry with me? The way he barely glanced at me in the kitchen and dismissed me so quickly shouldn’t bother me. But it did.
I had to stop thinking about Ryan and focus on this investigation. He was turning me into a basket case.
Troy found me a few minutes later sitting at the desk reading over what I learned this morning in my last phone call. It wasn’t much.
He plopped himself in a chair in the room, stretching out his long legs. “Sorry for interrupting last night.” I felt a blush creep up my neck.
“It’s all right. I’m actually glad you did.” I dropped the pen I was holding onto the desk and reclined in the high-back leather chair with my fingers laced over my stomach.
“You might be, but he’s not.” I shrugged. Ryan’s feelings were not my concern.
“Jackie, what’s going on?” He turned his serious dark brown eyes on me while I fought not to fidget.
I played dumb. “What are you talking about, Troy?”
“I thought things were going well between you and Ryan. You guys are so damn good together that it actually makes me ill sometimes to be around you. Other times, I envy the hell out of you and only hope that I’ll find someone who cares half as much about me as you do each other.”
“Wow, Troy. I’m not sure what you are seeing, but there is nothing personal going on between Ryan and me.” I was lying almost as well as some of the criminals I interviewed.
“Yeah, all right, Jackie. You can lie to yourself, and you might be able to lie to him, but you’re not going to lie to me.” He sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees. “When are you going to let go of what happened in your past and move forward?” My heart skipped a beat. Did he know exactly what had happened?
“What are you talking about?” My voice was just above a whisper.
“Do you think I don’t know what happened to your parents and to Logan?” He clasped his hands together.
“How?” I croaked.
“You are not the only one who can investigate. I looked into it after you mentioned it. And no, I never told Ryan about it. I figured if you two ever got together, then you could tell him. I think it’s time you do, and time that you let the past go and move forward.”
What the hell? He had not only looked into my past, but now he was giving me relationship advice? Next, he was going to ask me if I wanted to talk about it and turn into a freaking shrink!
My jaw hurt from how hard I clenched it. I took an extremely deep breath while I counted to ten, and then released it.
“I appreciate you not telling him, I really do. But, Troy, if you know what happened, you also know that I can’t allow anyone to get close to me.”
His brown eyes cut deeply into mine. “Do you think we can’t keep him safe?”
“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me, Troy. I couldn’t handle it again.”
He stood and walked to the front of the desk. “You have to trust that we can keep him safe. Give him a chance, Jackie. Give yourself a chance to love again.”
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I blinked furiously to clear them. One trickled out of the corner, and I swiped it away as quickly as it appeared.
“Just think about it.” He turned slowly after I gave him a single nod.
Give yourself a chance to love again. But at what cost? I watched his wide shoulders as they cleared the doorway.
Chapter 23
Ryan
I fell into a restless sleep with a deep, throbbing ache in my loins, and woke up to a razor-sharp chip on my shoulder.
In the bathroom, I stood with my palms flat against the granite leering into the mirror image, my subconscious warring with my attitude.
I am Ryan Palmer. So what?
I get what I want; nothing stops me. Except her.
I could walk down the street right now and have ten different women throw themselves at me. But not one of them would measure up to her.
I don’t want her. Keep telling yourself that, buddy. Someday you might believe it.
I don’t. She’s just a woman, just some small town cop, she’s nothing special. She’s a better person then you will ever be. She’s also the best thing you have ever had in your life, and you know it.
I don’t need her! Like hell you don’t.
If that was true, then I would be in love with her, and I’m not. Look closer at yourself, dude. You’re head over heels.
The last words echoed through my skull, and my head hung between my shoulders. Was I head over heels in love with Jacquelyn? Probably. But did that mean I had to act like an idiot and throw myself at her every second of the day? No. It didn’t, and as of now, I wouldn’t. I was done. If she wanted me, then she would have to come to me. If it wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t meant to be.
I avoided Jackie in the kitchen, and when she walked out, I wanted to kick myself for being such an ass. She had gone to the far study, and I went into my private one. Troy joined me as I sat brooding out the back window.
After he sat down, I swiveled my chair to the side, examining him for a moment. His face looked too damn serious, and I knew him all too well. I turned back to the window.
“So, what’s going on?” I heard the chair creak under his large frame.
There was no way I could pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I didn’t want to discuss it. My subconscious mind was already having a field day at my expense. I didn’t need him to do it, too. I shrugged in response.
He was persistent. “What happened last night?”
I spun my big leather chair around again and rested my chin on my fist. “You’re not going to leave me alone are you?”
“No, what happened?” At least he was blunt and honest.
“Nothing happened, and nothing ever will. I’m done trying to get her to open up.” I lifted my head and let it fall back against the leather chair. “She’s not interested in me, plain and simple.”
“Bull shit! She is as much in love with you as you are with her. Every single one of us can see the way you two look at each other when the other one isn’t watching.” He shook his head.
“Then why does she fight it? I don’t get it. Is she just playing hard to get?” I felt exasperated, and the tone of my voice echoed it.
A muscle in his jaw ticked for a moment as he contemplated me and his answer. “No, she’s not playing hard to get. She told you about her fiancé dying right?”
I gave him a nod because I not only remembered, but I could still hear every word she spoke and the haunted look that had been in her eyes.
“There is a lot more to that story, Ryan, and it’s not my right to tell you, but I will tell you that she feels responsible for his death.” He stopped to let that sink in. “I think that is what holds her back. She just needs time and to know that we can keep you safe.”
Was that all it was? That she needed to know I would be safe? I had known there was a deeper story there, but Troy was right, Jackie had to tell it to me herself. Would she trust me enough before this was all over?
Troy told me it was time to leave and we climbed into the limo without her. As the day loomed ahead
of me, my brooding got worse. It was a good thing that today’s filming was a dark scene. I felt dark.
We rehearsed the scene a few times, and Sheila and I were talking about another scene we would be filming soon when Jackie joined us. I peeked over at her in mid-sentence and then looked back. Her face radiated confidence. Her eyes were bright and shiny, and she looked more relaxed than she had in days. The smile she gave me pierced my heart, and I absently placed a kiss on the top of her head as she leaned into my side.
When Jackie walked up, there was another woman with her, and she introduced us to the author of the book this movie was based on.
“Wow, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” I shook her hand; it was strong and solid like Jackie’s.
“The pleasure is all mine.” She shook hands with Sheila, too, and we talked for a few minutes about how the screenplay differed from the book. She was looking forward to watching this particular scene. She said when she wrote it, she wanted people to be mad at Mitch. If the script was anything like her book, I think the people watching it would get the feeling she was aiming for.
Jackie stood quietly beside us listening to our conversation. When it was time to get back to filming, they walked off to the side and were deep in conversation.
My character today was on a quest of self-destruction. His lust was getting the best of him as he took a total stranger and pushed her up against the wall, intent on having his way with her. I had no problem with this scene, as I based it on what happened last night with Jackie. Pure adult need filled me as I kissed Tammy, the other actress in this scene, and pushed her hard against the brick wall with my body, all the while imagining it was Jackie.
The look on Jackie’s face just minutes ago flashed through my mind. Something had happened. Had she finally figured out who was threatening me? Was she getting ready to say goodbye?
Oh, hell no! Not before I got a chance to show her how I really felt about her. There was no way. When the director called out, “It’s a wrap,” I charged her like a bull.
The actress had been against me during the filming, but it was Jackie’s body I was now ravishing. I planted a kiss on her that would have burned the film if it had been on tape. She was utterly shocked, and I took full advantage of that fact.
I fought to control my emotions as I grabbed Jackie by the hand and headed over to the limo where Troy was waiting for us. I knew I was acting like a he-man pulling her around, but I had every intention of getting her back to the house and locking us in either my room or hers until we worked this out. I told Troy I’d get a ride home with Jackie, and he nodded, never missing a beat on his phone conversation.
As we approached Jackie’s car, I had to release her hand so that she could grab her keys from her pocket. She fumbled with them, and they dropped to the ground. Over Jackie’s shoulder as she bent to pick up her keys, I saw the limo driver close his door.
Jackie stood up, and I was about to inform her of my intentions when a blast rocked me off my feet and through the air to the ground, and everything went silent and black.
Chapter 24
Jacquelyn
I sat in the chair and thought about my past, thought about the loss I had sustained, and the threat that hovered over my head since that awful day and every single day after.
Roseanne found me later, still lost in thought. “Hey, Jackie, we have to leave in a few minutes, are you coming with us?” My cell phone rang at the same time that she posed the question. I held up my finger to her as I picked up my phone.
“Hold on a second, Rebecca.” I covered the phone with my hand. “No, you guys go ahead. I have to take this, and then I’ll be right behind you.”
I watched her leave and then put the phone back to my ear. “Hey, you have anything for me?”
“How are things? You sound stressed.” I heard the dispatcher talking over her radio in the background as she asked.
“I’m all right. It’s been a long week.” I fought not to sigh as I heard the front door close.
“It’s sounds like it, but I think I have something that might make it a better day,” she said in a singsong voice over the phone.
Was she going to give me something that would help clear the case? Would I be free to leave now? Could I? I pushed all the questions out of my mind and told her to start talking.
An hour later, I pulled up to the parking area and made my way over to the tech trailer. When I stepped in, Markus was leaning over a computer. He lifted his head to see who came in. His eyes tightened, and I repressed a knowing smile.
“Hey, Markus,” I said as I grabbed my headset and radio.
The only reply I got was a grunt. We’d see how much grunting he’d be doing later. I walked out of the trailer, hooked the radio up, and laced the headset cord through my shirt. My shirt wasn’t tucked in today because I was wearing my full-sized Glock. With what I learned this morning, I wasn’t taking any chances. While I listened to what was going on through my headset, I made my way back to my truck.
They were filming a scene outside a bar, and everyone was already there. I climbed in and made my way over to the location. We used a school parking lot to park our vehicles and house the few trailers and a food cart we needed because it was a weekend.
I saw the limo parked at the front entrance and pulled into the grassy area to the right of it. I left my backpack in my truck, got out, and started to make my way down to the shooting location.
I heard someone call my name and stopped to see my friend, and the author who wrote the book behind the movie, making her way toward me. I gave her a hug when she caught up and said, “I can’t believe I get to watch this being filmed. You know how much I loved your book.”
“You can have the filming if you’ll let me have the hunk,” she replied. We both laughed and started toward the set.
“So, I heard you’re working under cover, what’s the scoop?” she asked as we walked.
A girl about seventeen ran up to me and asked me for my autograph. I chuckled and pulled the pen out of her hand, signing my name on the small pad of paper she was holding. I handed the paper to my friend.
“Here, you sign this, too,” I said. The girl looked at me closely. “She’s the one who wrote the book this movie is based on.” A huge smile filled the young girl’s face, and she thanked us profusely. I smiled at her because, right now, I was in a good mood. The lab results came in, and I knew who had been sending the threats. That’s why I probably took the moment to sign the girl’s paper.
Tomorrow, I would talk to the suspects, yes more than one, and hopefully in a day or two, I would be on my way home and back to my real life. My signature wouldn’t be worth anything by the end of the week.
“The scoop is, yes, I’ve been working undercover, but I think I just got it all figured out. Tomorrow we’ll be able to make a few arrests.”
We talked about a few more details as we made our way to the set location. I gently pushed my way through the group of onlookers, and smiled at the guys standing along the crowd line, holding people back. They let us under the rope right away. I scanned the area. I knew whom I needed to watch now, and they were nowhere in sight.
Ryan walked through his scene as we stood back and watched. As much as I missed doing my job, I did enjoy being here and observing all of this. I fought the melancholy that tried to take over my soul. It was better for both of us.
The practice run-through went well, and when they finished rehearsing, Ryan stood and talked to Sheila. I casually walked up to them. Ryan glanced at me and did a double take. A curious expression floated across his eyes when he took in my features. I gave him one of my loving girlfriend smiles that came just too damn easily, and slipped my arm around his waist to snuggle up and play the part.
Yes, I was playing a part. I wasn’t enjoying it, and I sure wasn’t looking at it like it would soon be over. He kissed my forehead, and I swear I didn’t close my eyes and try to memorize the feel of it or anything.
“I can’t wait to
get home.” Sheila gazed at me with a wistful look in her eye. “Watching you two makes me miss my husband so much. The love you two have for each other is so obvious. It reminds me of what I have waiting for me back at home.”
I sure hope you have better than what we have, I wanted to say. As for love, I realized that if my police job ever fizzled out, I could look into acting. Apparently, I’m pretty good at it.
I pushed the thoughts away and introduced Sheila and Ryan to the author. I listened while they chatted, but then we needed to step away to watch when they were ready to start filming.
Ryan was acting intoxicated and had a strange woman up against the building. I remembered that moment in the book. I was so angry at the character, Mitch, that I wanted to smack him for doing that.
Ryan got right into character, and as I watched him act out the scene with an actress I hadn't met yet, it reminded me of our aggressive tryst in the hallway last night. A shiver raced up and down my spine as I remembered the feel of his hands on my body. I would never know what it felt like to make love to him now. The temptation would be removed very soon.
My friend got a phone call and walked away just before the scene ended.
It only took nine takes for them to get it from different angles and how they wanted it. Ryan walked directly for me, his eyes growing more intense with each step. When he reached me, he didn’t stop, didn’t hesitate. He yanked me into his arms and smothered my mouth with a kiss so strong that my knees gave way, and I quivered at his touch.
He pulled away, his focus on my surprised expression. “I’m not giving up.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to walk with him. I was at a loss for words, unable to form a single coherent thought as I glided on air beside him.
I heard someone joking with another crew member as we passed. “That was a hot scene, looks like those two are going to have a good afternoon.”
If I wasn’t so discombobulated, I might have blushed, but all I could do was continue beside Ryan and try to keep up with his purposeful steps.
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