We stood off to the side and chatted for a few minutes until everyone arrived. When Ryan entered the room, a butterfly took flight in my stomach. This was why he had brought me here, and now I was about to wrap it up.
His eyes scanned the room, taking in the occupants. Curiosity, anger, and confusion moved over his features, but none as strongly as the one that plastered his eyes wide open when Monique rushed into the room and threw herself at him.
He was stunned and pleaded with me with his eyes to rescue him. I moved forward to make the introductions.
The day that all hell broke loose, Becca called me to report that the forensic report had come back on the envelopes. Not only were Markus’s fingerprints on it, but Marie’s and Monique’s, too. She did some digging around into their backgrounds and found that all three of them had been arrested for a similar stalking event back in Nevada where they were from.
Marie wanted her kids to have what they wanted and stopped at nothing to help them get it. At this moment, officers were seizing the computers from inside the tech trailer, and they would be forensically examined for further evidence.
Jimmy was here so that after they brought them to the station, he could question them one at a time and then file the charges. I had to give him credit for stepping up to the plate, even though this was on a more personal level.
I tried to avoid Ryan’s wounded gaze as I took Marie into custody and we shepherded them out to the waiting patrol car. My job here was done. I should feel happy, but with each step toward Rebecca’s patrol car, I felt my resolve dropping and the urge to run back to Ryan and beg him to let me stay.
“Wait.” My heart thudded in my chest as I turned to look at him. “Are they the ones who killed Troy, too?”
It was a logical question, and one I wish I could give him a straight answer to. I hadn’t been prepared to have RJ respond though.
“No, they had nothing to do with it.” My thudding heart skipped a beat when he turned to me. “But I know who did.” I felt my heart falter again. Would it stop beating, because as I stared into RJ’s face, I knew.
“Jackie, we need to talk.”
“No, please tell me no.” Please! I wanted to shout! Make it not true. My worst nightmare had come to life, again.
Rebecca put Monique in the car and took Marie from my still hands. RJ and I continued to stare at one another, my legs began to shake harder the longer we did.
I didn’t understand the words that Becca murmured to me as she climbed into her car and left behind Jimmy’s vehicle. I only knew that because of my actions years ago, I had brought more death to people I cared about. My heart tore in two as RJ approached and took my arm.
“Let’s go inside.” He pulled my numb body along beside him. Ryan stepped out of the way to allow us to pass, his face full of confusion, his eyes asking for answers to questions he would never truly understand.
When we got back to the family room, RJ let go of my arm. I sank down into a chair. Roseanne and Drew were still in the room and recognized the tension for what it was. They got quiet and sat still. Only RJ seemed un-phased by what he was about to reveal as Ryan found a chair across from me and fell into it.
“So who was it?” Ryan asked as he looked between RJ and me. I couldn’t look him in the eye, but I watched him out of corner of my field of vision.
“Jackie.” RJ waited until I lifted my face to him. “It was the same. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. “It couldn’t be. You have to be wrong.”
He returned the shake of the head. “I’m sorry. I checked it twice and had someone else check it, too. The wiring harness was the signature, and they are exact replicates of the other ones.”
“What other ones?” Ryan demanded.
RJ faced him. “The ones that killed her parents and her fiancé six years ago.” I cringed as he spoke.
“What?” Ryan asked. I flicked a quick glance at him and his face was ashen.
“You never told him, Jackie?” RJ asked me, and I shook my head afraid to meet either of their eyes.
“Well, I think he has a right to know now.” I didn’t deny that as I sunk further into the chair and tried to hide.
“Ten years ago, Jackie got involved in a case that involved the mob. She put two and two together, in a roundabout way, and we were able to put one of the mafia heads behind bars for life.” He paused to give Ryan a chance to absorb what he said.
“The problem is that Ciminera was so pissed, he put a contract out on Jackie. He promised to take out any person whom she loved, and he didn’t care if his associates took her out either.”
I hung my head as tears filled my eyes. I had brought this on Ryan. Troy’s death was my fault, just like Logan’s and my mother’s and father’s.
“A year after he was incarcerated, Jackie was going to her parents’ house for Christmas Eve dinner. She had been stuck on a case, and Logan got there before her. Just as she pulled onto their street, the house exploded and killed everyone right before her eyes.”
Roseanne gasped, and Drew threw out an explicative, but it was Ryan’s response I waited for. Thunder growled outside the walls of the house.
Ryan said nothing, and I lifted my head. He stared at me, so hard that I thought he was looking right through me. After a long time, he looked at the floor and then stood up and turned to leave.
“Ryan,” I called out in a hoarse voice. I couldn’t let him leave without saying something, anything!
He stopped, his tense back facing me. “I can’t talk to you right now.” He left the room without another word or glance back.
The room was silent after he left. I sat up to lean on my elbows. My long hair fell around my face, hiding my despair from everyone but me. RJ put his hand on my shoulder and squatted down beside me.
“I’m so sorry, Quen.” I sobbed at the use of the nickname Logan and my parents had used on me. Since the day they died, I could not handle someone else calling me by that name. But hearing it now was fitting. It was Quen who had gotten four people whom she cared about killed. It was Quen they were punishing, and would be forever.
“Thanks, RJ,” I spoke softly. “Do you know any more about who actually placed the bombs and how?”
“I don’t know who yet, but I think it was done here at the house.” I lifted my head up fast.
“What?” I croaked.
“When the dogs were checking the outside of the house, they found some wires in the driveway. Just small pieces mostly, like someone was in a hurry. They probably did it at night, and missed the little pieces that fell into the stone of on driveway. We collected that and we are having it checked for DNA.”
The memory of a burst of light in the stairway the night before the explosion filled my mind. I told RJ about it, and we concluded that was probably when it had happened.
I thanked RJ for coming and walked him out. When I closed the door, I rested my heated skin against the cold wood.
“You should have told me.” I spun around, startled by Ryan’s voice.
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I didn’t think about it at first.”
His jaw tightened along with his eyes. “You didn’t think about it? You didn’t think about the fact that you had a contract on your life that could have killed my whole team!”
I flinched at his words. He was right. I should have told him at the beginning. If I had, he could have decided if he wanted to play this dangerous game or not.
“Because of you, Troy is dead!” A stab went through my heart, and it split in two. I knew this was coming. “Get out of my house. You’re job here is finished.”
“Ryan, wait.” I moved to reach out to him, not to beg him to let me stay. I knew that would never happen, but to calm him.
He slapped my hand away. “Get out, Detective Liveon!” He spun around and stalked down the hallway.
I watched him disappear and knew that was the last time I would see him. I climbed the stairs, my feet feeling like lead weights.
Less than
an hour later, I carried my bags down the stairs. Drew met me on the bottom floor and took one of my suitcases from me.
We were silent as we headed toward my car. I lifted the back hatch just as Drew spoke.
“He’s upset right now. He needs someone to blame. He’ll get over it.” He put the suitcase in the back. “Rose and I don’t blame you.” He met my emotional gaze, and I gave him one quick nod.
He stepped away from my truck while I put the other bag inside along with my backpack. As I reached up to grab the hatch, my eyes went to the atrium, and I found Ryan standing on the balcony watching me. I couldn’t see his face, but I could just imagine the pain and anger that was on there.
I slammed the hatch and climbed into my truck. With a quick twist of my wrist, I turned the key in the ignition and drove out of the driveway, never looking back.
Chapter 31
Ryan
I towered above her, inspecting her every move as Drew helped her put her stuff in the Jeep. I was furious with her, hurt beyond belief that she had not thought it was important to share with us the deadly contract she had over her head.
Drew walked away, and she lifted her arms to close the tailgate. Our gazes locked. So many emotions flitted over her face. Just as my mind began to war with my heart, she looked away and got inside her vehicle.
I watched the dark-colored SUV drive down to the gate and out of my life. It was for the best. It didn’t matter that I loved her, it only mattered that she held back a very important fact. A fact that had caused the death of my best friend. I went to my room and closed the door on what I had shared with Jackie.
***
“I can’t believe we finished the film in record time. Even with the two week unscheduled hiatus, we finished a week early!” Roseanne exclaimed happily as she dropped into the seat next to me in the limo.
Drew sat across from us. He was the acting head of security ever since Troy’s funeral. Troy. I hadn’t thought much about him during the last few weeks of filming.
His funeral was devastating for all of us. While we stood in the cemetery, I wondered if Jackie would show, but deep down, I knew she wouldn’t. After the way I treated her, I knew she would never want to face me again.
When we returned to filming, the director told us that he was dedicating the film to Troy; it was a bittersweet moment for us all. Everyone got back to the film with a vengeance, especially me. I needed to get this film over with and move on. I already spoke to a realtor about selling the house and figured I’d go back to Los Angeles until I found another place. Now that the film was over, I could do just that.
I leaned my head back against the seat. During the last few months, I went about my life, doing my job and being social when needed. It was the moments when I was alone that I dwelled on the face of the woman I fell in love with and missed everyday more than I ever could have imagined I would.
“You have that look on your face again, Ryan. Are you thinking about her?” Rose squeezed my knee reassuringly.
Normally, I would deny it, but it seemed fitting that I think about her now that the film was finished, and I was moving on. It would get easier when I didn’t have the constant reminders of her memories in the house.
“Yeah.” I gave Rose a lopsided smile. “Yeah, I guess I was.”
“You know that after she handled the case with Markus, Marie, and Monique, she took some time off.”
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t know that. How did you?”
“We’ve e-mailed a few times. She’s staying with friends down south right now.” This was the first news I heard of her since she left, and I soaked up every word.
“She asks about you,” she said softly.
I nodded absently. She probably wanted to know if I was still angry with her. In a way, I was. However, somewhere along the line, I realized it wasn’t exactly her fault. I was the one who basically forced her to do the job.
I think my anger stemmed from the fact that she didn’t trust me enough with the information. She might have had feelings for me, but she hadn’t cared enough to tell me the darkest and most important thing about her life.
“You should call her, Ryan.” I turned to look out the window.
“No, Rose, it’s over. I’m not going to call her.” We drove the rest of the way in silence.
***
Nine months later, it was time to release the film. I was hip deep in another film, with two more starting right after this one finished. I’d taken two weeks off so that I could help promote the new film.
Tonight was the premiere, and I sat in the limo with Roseanne by my side as we drove to the theater. As usual, I sat in silence, dwelling on memories that were better left dead, yet not being able to since I was back in the area. I had left the day after filming was over and vowed never to return. Of course, the higher ups decided this is where we would release the film, so here I was.
I was aware that Rose had given Jacqueline tickets to see the debut, but I had no idea if she would come. Nor did I know how I would feel about it if she did.
“Are you going to talk to her if she’s there?” Roseanne broke through my thoughts. She always knew when I had Jackie on my mind.
“I won’t be a prick if that’s what you’re thinking.” I peered at her sitting on the other side of the leather seat.
She snorted. “I didn’t think you would.” She grew quiet for a few moments. “You know, it must be very lonely for her.”
I sighed. “Why do you say that, Rose?”
“How would you feel if you knew you could never love again or someone would kill that person? I can’t imagine how hard life would be never being able to get close to people.”
I stared out the window and thought about what Roseanne had said. She was right. Jackie had been thrown into a life sentence, and she wasn’t even in prison. It didn’t matter though. It had been too long, and that part of my life was over. I had moved on, although there had yet to be another woman in my life.
A few minutes later, we pulled up to the red carpet. “Put on that gorgeous smile,” Rose said as I reached for the door handle. Just like that, I put on my movie star smile and greeted my screaming fans.
I scanned the hordes of people, not looking at them, but searching for her. I could tell myself that it was over, but I still wanted to see her, if only for a moment.
I signed a few autographs before making my way toward the theater’s doors. Inside, I was able to drop the superstar smile down a notch, but kept an eager and happy look on my face.
I glanced around the inside area but didn’t see her. However, I did see RJ, the bomb squad guy, and a female standing next to him. She turned, and I recognized her as the officer who came to take Marie and the others away on that fateful day.
Without telling my feet to do it, I moved toward them, stopping along the way to shake hands and receive pats on the back from people. I made eye contact with RJ, and he broke out in a friendly grin as he saw me approaching. Just before I reached him, I got snagged by someone and had to turn to answer a few questions.
When I turned around, I bumped right into someone. I looked down and saw the stunned look in Jackie’s eyes. I froze.
I forgot how beautiful her eyes were, how gorgeous every part of her was. She took my breath away.
“Jackie,” Roseanne broke through our stare and threw her arms around Jacquelyn in a long-lost friend hug that immediately made me jealous. I stepped back to give them more room and shook hands with RJ. He introduced me to Rebecca, Jackie’s friend, who was in her own right a beautiful woman, but my mind dismissed her immediately and I turned to stare at the woman talking animatedly to Rose.
“I’m so glad you came!” Rose hugged her again. “Oh, sorry, I don’t want to mess up your dress, you look absolutely amazing.” With Rose’s words, I took in Jackie’s appearance. Her dress was a soft emerald green silk. It glowed against her tanned arms and chest. My groin tightened as I observed the material slide over her breasts as she moved.<
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“Ryan, doesn’t she look gorgeous?” Rose brought me back to the room, which was good, because I had traveled back in time to a place I shouldn’t be visiting.
Jackie turned and gave me a shy smile, but her lips quivered. Was she nervous? “You do look beautiful, Jacquelyn.”
So what if my voice shook like her lips were. I wasn’t nervous. I was freaking terrified!
Not scared that I was seeing her but a nervous wreck because the moment I let my eyes embrace her face, I fell immediately in love with her all over again.
“Thank you, Ryan. You look handsome as usual,” she replied.
The lights dimmed in the reception area, telling us that we needed to find our seats. Just before I reached for Rose’s arm to lead her in, RJ pulled his cell phone out.
“Jackie, I need to take this.” She nodded at him as he pushed through the crowd to get someplace quiet. Jackie turned to her friend and took a quick look up at me.
“Let me take you to your seat,” I suggested and held my arm out to her.
Rose leaned up and whispered into my ear, “By the way, she’s sitting right next to you.” I looked at her with sarcasm in my eyes. “Sorry I forgot to tell you.” She turned from me before I could speak and walked next to Rebecca to show her the way.
Jackie took my arm, and I felt the touch of her hand zing through me from head to toe. I wrapped my hand around hers as it rested in the crook of my arm, and we entered the theater.
Sneaky little Rose had set this up. How was I going to sit next to her and make it out in one piece?
We found our seats and turned quite a few heads as we did. Murmurs drifted around us when people saw us together again. Let them think what they want. I didn’t care.
My whole crew was there and sat around us; all of them smiled and said hello to Jackie. She left a seat open next to her for RJ, and I sat down beside her. Suddenly, I felt like a high school boy on a first date. My hands started sweating and I wiped them on my tuxedo pants.
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