Turning my head slightly, our lips meet and we forget about the nuptials waiting for us upstairs until the door bursts open, flinging into the wall and I hear my brother’s voice.
“Get your hands off my sister!” he shouts. Both Bentley and I freeze, but don’t move away from each other. Paulie repeats himself. “I said to get your hands off my sister, asshole.”
Holding up my hands, I take a step toward Paulie. “Whoa, we’re in church.”
“Tell that to him,” my brother mutters, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him.
We both look at Bentley who stands before us. He looks crushed, his face wears a deer caught in headlights look. My head swivels between to the two men until I finally ask, “What are you talking about, Paulie?”
“You want to tell her or should I?” Paulie asks as though it’s a threat and I’m more confused than ever. My heart beats erratically and I just want to know what the hell is going on. Bentley’s eyes won’t meet mine as they fall to the floor and I look at Paulie for an explanation.
“He’s married, Jules…with a kid,” Paulie says, squeezing my hand apologetically.
My mouth falls open and I shake my head, not wanting to believe what he said, but I know my brother wouldn’t lie to me. If Paulie wasn’t holding on to me, I would have fallen to the floor. Bentley finally looks at me but doesn’t say a word. The door opens again and the wedding planner peers in at us.
“Oh good! I thought we had a runaway groom. Come on, everyone’s waiting on you to get started,” the middle-aged woman says in her sing-song voice.
Paulie tugs my hand, leading me out of the room and away from Bentley which is probably a good thing. I want to know the truth. I need to know the truth, but at this moment, I just need to be strong for Paulie. Today isn’t about me. It’s not about Bentley. It’s about Bri and Paulie and it’s time to step up and be the kind of sibling Paulie has always been to me.
***
I want to rip my heart out of my chest. This hurts more than when I found out my ex was sleeping with another man. I want to run after Jules, explain everything, but I’m being pushed out the door and up the stairs by the wedding planner as I finish buttoning my shirt. Once upstairs, I watch the Rossi siblings interact, Jules being the strong woman that she is and holding back her tears. My stomach wretches and I know she has to be hurting inside just like I am.
The truth is out. This is not exactly how I planned this moment. I was supposed to tell her, she was supposed to hear it from me so I could explain everything although the kid part shouldn’t be surprising. Jules and Emmy have met and my daughter won’t stop asking about her which I love. It hurt a bit that Jules never asked me about her but I’m beginning to think maybe she never knew exactly who Emmy is. Either way, that isn’t the part I was worried about. No, the part I didn’t want to tell is the fact that there is still a Mrs. Ladner out there that isn’t my mother.
Chapter 24
Standing outside the doors to the sanctuary, Paulie tilts my head up to look at him. I’m still in shock of the news but I’m desperately trying to hide it. My perfect world has been crushed in just a matter of seconds and with one sentence. My brother’s finger runs down my nose and he taps the end of it with a small smile on his face.
“Julianna, you are an independent woman who I couldn’t be more pro—” he starts but I interrupt him.
“No, James Paul, I’m proud of you. You gave up everything to save our family and still managed to succeed in life, not just professionally, but in love too. Bri is the perfect woman for you and I’m excited for you to start your new family with her,” I say, speaking through tears and wearing a honest smile on my face. The smile is real, I truly am happy for my brother, but now my heart is breaking for so many more reasons than just Bentley’s lies.
Well, I suppose it’s breaking even more because of his lies. When Paulie announced the engagement, I was afraid of losing him and being alone. Then Bentley came along and that fear was washed away. I had Bentley, someone to care for me, protect me, love me… or so I thought. Now in just minutes, he was gone and my brother was about to be too.
Paulie’s fingers move under my chin and he kisses my forehead. “Julianna, I’m marrying Bri and she’s joining our family, not taking your place.”
The perky planner breaks up our moment as she tugs on Paulie’s arm. “Come on now, Mr. Rossi. Let’s get this party started!”
Taking a deep breath, I watch my brother walk down the aisle, my heart breaking with each step he takes away from me. Sure, he says Bri’s not taking my place, but eventually over time it’s inevitable that she will. Shaking my head to make the tears go away, I take my place in the bridal procession. As I step in line, I see the flower girl and her eyes light up.
“Jules!” she cries out and wraps her arms around my legs.
I laugh and bend down to hug her back, needing this moment to feel loved and wanted by someone, even if it just my cake eating partner in crime. “Hey there. You ready for some cake tonight? I think my brother ordered a chocolate piece with sprinkles just for you.”
Her eyes get big and she nods, her red ringlets bouncing up and down. I squeeze her hand as I stand up when the music starts. The doors open, I swipe at my eyes one last time, force a smile on my lips, and walk down the aisle, locking eyes with my brother. His eyes are full of pain and his lips are slightly turned down in a frown. I hate myself for it. It’s his wedding day, he shouldn’t be worried about me. As I get to the end of the aisle, I wink at him and he gives me a soft smile.
I take my place, watching Ariel skip down the aisle, stealing the show as the crowd ohs and ahs over her. Ariel takes her place in front of me, immediately taking hold of my hand as we share a smile with each other. It may only be the second time I’ve met the kid, but I’m thankful to have her standing beside me in this moment to distract me from the liar across the aisle.
Canon in D begins and the guests rise to see the bride, but I can feel Bentley’s eyes locked on me. I refuse to look at him, there will be no breaking down during this ceremony. Instead, I stare at my brother whose eyes light up as Bri walks down the aisle toward him. He wipes away a tear and I’m shocked to see my brother so emotional. I’ve never seen him cry in my entire life, but the man is in love so anything goes.
I spend the entire ceremony searching the seats, wondering which woman is Mrs. Bentley Ladner. An hour later and I am still as clueless as when I walked down the aisle. At the end of the Catholic mass, Bri is officially Mrs. Brianna Rossi. My stomach sours at the realization that I’m no longer the only Rossi woman in our family. Father Foy introduces the couple to the congregation who cheer and whistle as they share their first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Rossi. Bentley slowly claps for his sister while staring at me. I quickly turn my attention to the Father, now understanding why he was giving Bentley such evil looks during the rehearsal the night before.
The traditional Air from Water pipes over the organ and it takes me a second to remember I now have to walk back down the aisle on Bentley’s arm. Ariel clutches my hand bringing me back in the moment. Not letting go of her, I walk us to the center aisle where she reaches up and takes Bentley’s hand. Oh thank God for this little girl, she is my lifesaver today!
Smiles on both our faces, Bentley speaks quietly through his. “Jules, please let me explain,” he begs as we get to the back of the church.
Once in the vestibule, Ariel lets go of me and turns to Bentley, jumping into his arms as he lifts her up and places her on his hip. The little girl throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly.
“Did I do good, Daddy?” she asks and my stomach drops.
Feeling lightheaded, I look around for the nearest bathroom as I think I might throw up. This day just keeps going from bad to worse and there’s no escape.
“Yes, baby, you did wonderful,” Bentley answers, kissing her cheek.
Ariel turns to me and points. “Did you meet Jules? She loves cake as much as I do!”
&nbs
p; Bentley reaches out and takes my hand, pulling me to him. Still in a daze, I stumble and fall against him. His lips brush against my cheek like they did his daughter’s.
“Yes, Emmy, I’ve met her. I’ve heard she likes cake, too. Maybe we can all share some tonight,” Bentley says as though it’s no big deal. Hmm, he must’ve forgot again that he has a wife he should be sharing cake with instead of me.
Quickly, I pull away from him just in time. Not even thirty seconds later, Emmy, not Ariel, is bouncing up and down as her mother arrives. The woman is an older version of Emmy, red curls, baby blue eyes, pale skin with freckles over her nose. She’s wearing a brown sequined dress that is pulled together in total sophistication with a strand of diamonds that Bentley probably bought her.
Mrs. Bentley kisses Emmy, telling her how good she did as her hand rests on Bentley’s arm. They are the picture perfect all American family. Me? I’m the woman that almost tore them apart. Disgusted at the thought, I turn and run down the hallway into the bathroom to escape this nightmare.
***
Watching Jules running away, I set Emmy down and start after her. Smitty is a few steps ahead of me so I let him go as to not cause a scene. I drag my hand over my face, I just need a few minutes alone with her so I can explain. I turn around, facing my family and see Emmy running off to talk to my mom and my ex, Christie, smirking at me.
“So, that’s who you have taking my place?” she quips.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“Bentley, I am still your wife.”
I ball my fists, channeling my anger. “Christie, when you crawled in bed with Johnny two years ago, you quit being my wife. I don’t care what it says on paper, you aren’t the one I love.”
Her eyebrows shoot to the top of her head. “Love? You love this…girl? Come on, Bent, she’s a child. She obviously can’t handle your past,” my ex says gesturing down the hallway.
“I don’t recall you being on the guest list, so please leave,” I speak as calmly as I can although my hands are shaking.
Christie nods and kisses my cheek, I quickly wipe the lipstick off my skin. “Fine, I’ll go, but Bent, get real. This girl isn’t the next Mrs. Bentley Ladner, you’re just passing time with her.” With her comment, Christie steps around me exiting the church, but the damage is already done.
Chapter 25
Polishing off my third glass of wine, I grab Smitty’s hand and pull him on the dance floor as Bon Jovi comes over the speakers. Who can resist Livin’ on a Prayer, which is all I have right now. Smitty was waiting for me outside the bathroom at the church after I threw up everything I’d eaten prior to the wedding and he hasn’t left my side since. It’s what Smitty does. When Paulie isn’t around to pick up the broken pieces of me, Doug or Smitty are. Ever since Doug got married a couple years ago, the job has fallen more on Smitty than Doug.
Belting out the lyrics and jumping around in front of Smitty, he laughs at me and grabs my waist trying to reign me in. I stop moving my head back and forth, my arms on his shoulders. “I hope you’re serious about that whole back-up thing because it’s looking more and more like that’s how things are going to play out.”
Smitty laughs and nods. “Yes, Jules, I still plan on marrying you in six years, but I’m pretty sure you’ll be off the market by then.”
I stop dancing, if you could call the bouncing around I was doing dancing. My brunette locks fall around my shoulders as I stick out my bottom lip and pout. “By who? You and I are alike, we don’t give our hearts out to anyone. The one time I did and it comes back to bite me in the ass… big time,” I say, glancing across the dance floor where Bentley is dancing with Emmy and quickly looking away before he catches me.
Smitty squeezes my waist. “Julianna, talk to him. Look around, the ‘wife’ is gone. There’s got to be more to the story.”
The song ends and I bite my bottom lip, contemplating Smitty’s words, wanting to believe there’s some truth to them, but too afraid to find out. As the new tune starts, I’m surrounded by Smitty, Doug, and Paulie as they serenade me with Brown Eyed Girl except the boys change the words to blue eyed so it fits me. Giggling, I push Bentley thoughts away, recalling how the guys always do this whenever we’re out. It all started with my twenty-first birthday at the dueling piano bar when they sang to me on stage and the tradition has carried on. When the song ends, they put their arms around each other, me in the center, as we share a group hug and they each kiss me on the cheek. Muttering their love for me, tears fill my eyes. I’m not losing my family, these guys will always be there for me… wives, babies, exes, they’ve got my back. After all, I’m their blue eyed girl.
Our moment doesn’t last long as Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight starts. Paulie is pulled away to meet more guests, Doug finds his wife to dance, and Smitty excuses himself for a bathroom break. I find myself awkwardly alone in the middle of the dance floor and make my way to the cake table.
Not surprised, I see Emmy there swiping some frosting off a piece of cake that is waiting for someone to claim it. I tap my high heel against the floor and she looks up busted. I’ve seen that look before from her father, except for an entirely different reason. Smiling, I nod toward the cake. I take her little hand in mine and dip our fingers in the frosting on the uncut cake. She giggles as we do this and I squat down to her level.
“Our secret, okay?” I say with a wink. I watch her eyes twinkle and my heart hurts. Why would Bentley hide her from me? Oh, that’s right, her mother, his wife.
Licking her finger, she nods and I do the same thing. Someone clears their throat and I look up into the eyes of her father. Normally, cake is my safe place, but I should’ve known better tonight. His hand reaches down and takes mine, pulling me up.
“Emmy, one piece,” he says glancing down at his little girl and then looking back to me. “Dance with me, Jules,” he demands.
Obediently, because I’m not quite ready to give him up, I follow him onto the dance floor. His strong hands pull me close, one rests on my waist, the other capturing my hand. I set one hand on his bicep and lean my head against his chest. We sway back and forth and when he starts to speak, I stop him.
“Don’t talk, Bentley. Let me enjoy this right now because I’m never going to have it again,” I whisper.
“Jules, you can have this again. Please let me explain,” he begs and leans back, forcing me to look up at him.
“Explain what?” I seethe, trying not to cause a scene but barely able to control my anger. “That you forgot to tell me you had a wife and kid?”
I pull away from him and run to the front door. Bentley’s not one to give up and I know that. He chases after me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around when I’m halfway across the parking lot. With all my strength, I push on his chest, but he easily grabs both of my hands with his one strong one and holds them still as he leans down and kisses me. My body betrays me and melts into his kiss, craving more until I remember he’s married. I pull my head back, tears streaking down my face, but I don’t care about holding them in any longer.
I take a few steps backward, putting space between us before I yell, “I trusted you, Bentley! I told you things I haven’t even told my brother and it turns out you haven’t even been honest with me this entire time?”
“Julianna…”
“No! Don’t think you can call me that, only people who love me are allowed to use my full name,” I scream. “I opened my heart for the first time. I opened it for you and all you did was stomp all over it. So don’t Julianna me, Bentley Ladner. Just leave me alone and don’t ever speak to me again!”
He sighs and reaches for me, but quickly drops his hands knowing it’s no use as I stand before him, shaking and crying.
Smitty runs up behind him and looks at me, not even acknowledging Bentley’s presence. “Jules, you okay?” he asks, genuinely concerned.
Looking away from Bentley, I nod. “I want to go home.”
He gl
ances at Bentley then back to me. “You got it.”
Smitty puts his hand in the small of my back and guides me away, but I stop and turn to Bentley. “I thought you were real. I thought we were real, Bentley. I don’t understand how you could do this.”
Pain in his eyes, Bentley sighs. “We are real, Julianna.”
What is left of my heart breaks once more as he says that.
***
I watch Julianna climb into Smitty’s Tahoe and I can’t move. She told me to leave her alone, never speak to her again. I should head back inside, but I can’t bring myself to let her go. I watch Smitty pull her into a hug in the front of his car as she sobs uncontrollably. That’s my girl, I should be the one consoling her, but instead I’m the one that’s brought her to tears.
I hate myself. If I could kick my own ass, I would. I was foolish enough to think my divorce would be finalized before I had to tell Jules. Why was I so scared of telling her? I sigh as I watch the taillights of Smitty’s SUV drive away from me, along with part of my heart. I didn’t tell her because I was afraid of losing her but now it looks like I already have without even having the chance to tell her about my past myself. God, I thought it hurt when I caught Christie in bed with another man but that was nothing compared to this.
“Daddy!” I hear Emmy call out behind me.
I spin around quickly, worried she might run after me in the middle of the parking lot. “What are you doing out here?”
“Looking for Jules, I saved her some of the special cake Paulie got me,” she explains. My heart sinks deeper into my stomach. Taking her hand, we walk back inside and I see so much of Jules in my daughter. Emmy puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyebrows. “Are we dancing or what, Dad?” I smile as my daughter pulls me out to the dance floor again to the Twist. I’ll get Jules back, just like I plan on fighting Christie for custody of Emmy. Without my girls, my life isn’t complete.
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