Undressing, she grabbed her robe and headed to the shower, her mind filled with thoughts of how Ryan’s hands had felt on her body, and how much better they would feel on her naked body. The hot water had to wash those thoughts away, or else she would go insane. All day she had been unable to get him out of her head. And she needed to be able to concentrate on her work, or an animal’s life might be at risk.
Washing her hair, she let the tangy lemon scent awake her senses and she tried to steer her thoughts towards Sapphire. If she had to keep reliving this morning, then at least she could make use of it by trying to figure out what was wrong with the pregnant mare.
As far as she could tell, the foal was in no danger. Its heartbeat had been strong and healthy, so what was wrong with Sapphire? It was like a puzzle she couldn’t put together. Over and over, she went through the results and the physical examination, but still came up with nothing.
After she had washed and dried her hair, she put the movie on. However, as she sat and watched it, her mind zoned out. Had she missed something? Had the presence of Ryan made her miss something obvious? Something that might cost Sapphire or her foal its life? But she couldn’t go back and face Ryan tomorrow for a re-examination.
Because if she did, she knew that Sapphire wouldn’t be the only thing having a re-examination. Her feelings towards Ryan would be amplified and she would be even more likely to give in to the feelings he evoked in her.
What was she supposed to do? She would never forgive herself if she let the mare or foal die. That left one choice.
Going to her bedroom, she pulled on some warm clothes. The only way she could deal with this was to go back, but not in the day. No, she would go tonight. Sneak into the barn and speak to Sapphire. Ask her what was wrong. It was the only way to know for sure.
She ran down to her car. Sliding in, she started the engine and drove over to Bear Bluff. Instead of going to the farm, she parked her car at the bottom of the mountain, and began to climb the path, which was worn into the dirt. It was used a lot, and she didn’t think by hikers. No, she was sure that the inhabitants of Bear Bluff used this path to walk out of sight of the town before they changed.
Which was exactly what Ciara intended to do.
Wishing she had brought a flashlight with her, she slowly climbed up the steep path to the small copse of trees. There she ducked under a branch and found herself in a clearing. Trying to calm herself down, she tried not to panic about changing. It had been so many years since she had let her other side run free. The excitement she could feel at the prospect was threatening to make her concentration slip.
Ciara placed her hand on the cool tree trunk. Letting her mind concentrate on the bark under her hands, the rough ridges hard and unmoving against her fingers. Trees, old and wise, how many times had they watched someone like her come to this spot and change into something else, something completely different? How many horses had they seen? She might very well be the first. The rest of her kind herded together, mixing and mating in a large expanse of meadows and forests. Beautiful and quiet, with no prying eyes. A place she had left. A life she had shunned.
Feeling confident, she allowed herself to move away from the tree. Ciara pictured her horse in her mind. Pictured the long limbs and flowing mane of her other self. She imagined her horse, with its jet-black coat, which would keep her hidden, as she galloped over the mountain meadows. A thrill of excitement coursed through her, but she pushed it aside, needing to keep calm and concentrate.
There! She fixed the image in her head and then let her body flow into it. A tremor of sheer power passed through her as she shimmered out of this world for an instant, only to come back to herself with hooves, a mane, and a tail. Tossing her head, she pawed the ground, feeling the need for speed.
Exiting the trees carefully, nearly forgetting she was much wider and taller now, she took off up the steep path, strong muscles working to propel her higher. The rocks bruised her feet, but she didn’t worry; she was heading for the soft green meadows of the mountain where she could gallop, her mane flying in the breeze.
Her heartbeat quickened as she reached the meadow and galloped across the wide expanse of springy grass. The darkness should have scared her, but she was lost to the exhilaration of being a horse once more. The joy of powering over the ground at breakneck speed, with night all around her, cloaking her. Above her head, the stars twinkled, glittering in the sky as they watched the creature who had been shut away for so long take its long, deep breath of freedom.
Ciara was filled with wonder, having forgotten how good it felt to be like this. It was an immense feeling of liberty she had never encountered anywhere else in her life. She had forgotten this and shut it away, hoping to be able to control the other facets of this gift by ignoring the one she loved the most. Being a horse, with four feet that propelled her along so fast, the air made her eyes stream.
A sadness crept in; she had shunned her horse for nothing. Because she had still found her mate. The thing she had hoped to avoid by moving away from her family and her herd.
With laboured breathing, she dropped back to a canter and then slowed to a trot. It was time to go down the mountain towards the ranch. She had it all planned in her head. She would follow the track down to the ranch, stopping before she came into earshot. Her hooves would make a louder noise than her human feet, and she needed to factor this in. Changing would be quick and then she could sneak down to the barn, go inside, and then change once more into her horse and talk to Sapphire.
When she reached the spot where she knew she had to change, she encountered a problem. Her horse didn’t want to let go. She had to assure it she would never shut it away again, never deprive either of them of the freedom they had just experienced. Only then, was she able to change back into her human form. A scary moment, for sure. What if she had been unable to change back? She needed to get in as much practice as possible, until she could change in a split second, as she used to be able to when she was younger.
With no time to lose, she jogged down the track. The night was at its darkest, she imagined it must be around midnight and only hoped Ryan would be asleep by now. He was a rancher; he must get up early, so he must go to bed early. Mustn’t he?
Too late now, she was committed to her plan. The only worry she had was the light tingling sensation down her neck. As if she were being watched. Stopping, she listened to the darkness; it was silent, and nothing stirred except the leaves in the wood behind the barn. It must be her imagination, or perhaps it was just the closeness of Ryan, all snuggled up unsuspecting in his bed.
She sighed inwardly at that thought. She longed to knock on the door of the ranch and be invited in. Taken by the hand and led to his bedroom, where she would lie on the bed while he undressed her.
“Sapphire,” she reminded herself and headed out across the open area that stood between her and the barn. She would be safe. No one would see her. Unless they happened to be looking out of the window at that exact same time.
Which, of course, Ryan was...
Chapter Eight – Ryan
Usually he slept soundly through the night, but not tonight. He had tossed and turned for more than an hour. First hot and then cold. The only thing he could blame it on was his encounter with Ciara earlier in the day. If he was honest, it had upset him more than he thought. All day he had been consumed with a need to track her down. Tonight he had been forced to mentally chain his bear up, because it wanted to go out there and find her.
He knew he couldn’t force her to do anything. No matter how much the bear wanted to bend her to his will, that would never work with a woman like Ciara. But he did want to get to know her, find out why she ran from him. Most females embraced the mating bond. Usually they had been searching for it their whole lives, in the same way he had. But for some reason, not Ciara.
With his temper rising, his anger directed at himself, not Ciara, he got up out of bed. If it was anyone’s fault, it must be his. Maybe she didn’t like t
he thought of living on a ranch like this. It was a hard life, especially in the winter. As he splashed water on his face, he wondered if he would give it up for her. Could he live any other kind of life?
The more he thought about it, the more he perhaps understood why she might have run. If his way of life didn’t appeal top her, she would no doubt be angry about having to move here with him. So the question again had to be, would he give up the farm and all of his animals for her?
The more he thought of her, the stronger the sense of her invaded his mind. He could feel her, as if she was close by. His thoughts turned to the moment this afternoon when he had watched her come, climaxing with pleasure as he rubbed her clit. Damn, he wanted to fill her sex with his cock and make her come around him.
There was nothing better in this world. The bear agreed, roaring and pawing the ground. Testing its boundaries once more. Maybe that was the thing to do. If he couldn’t sleep, he could go out onto the mountain and release some of the pent-up tension in his body.
Not quite in the way he would have liked. But exercise had a way of clearing his head. Going to the window, he looked out to see what the night was like and once more was struck by the thought of her.
Rubbing his neck, he was just about to let the drape fall back across the window when a movement caught his eye. There was someone out there. His first instinct was to go outside and chase them off; maybe his bear would get some exercise. It must be rustlers, and he would be damned if they were going to get away with his cattle.
Yet then he let his eyes adjust and his other sense kick in. No, not rustlers, this was something else. Someone else. She was here. His mate had come back. But what the hell was she doing, sneaking over to his barn?
Sapphire. He grabbed his clothes, dressing on the way down the stairs. Pulling on his boots, he was outside and across the short distance to the barn before he had given any thought as to what he was going to say to her.
But when he pulled open the barn door, he was surprised to see a horse, black as night, in the barn, its head over the stall wall, talking to Sapphire.
Chapter Nine – Ciara
It had all gone so easily. The barn door had swung open quietly and she had slipped in, closing it behind her. Standing with her back to the wooden door, looking into the murky, dim light of the barn, she had given herself a moment to adjust to her new surroundings, trying to picture where everything was from when she was here earlier.
Slowly, the shapes emerged from the gloom, and she felt more confident in being able to walk to Sapphire’s stall without bumping into anything. With hands outstretched, she made her way forward, edging very slowly towards the sound of horses munching hay. It was such a quiet soothing sound, so rhythmical and calming.
When she reached Sapphire’s stall, she talked quietly, soothing her. The mare turned and whickered in answer, and turned her head to smell Ciara’s hand.
“That’s right, girl. I’m here to help you. Shh, good girl. Now this might freak you out a little, but I am a friend.”
Ciara stood back, hoping she had given herself enough room. Then she pictured her horse and calmly walked into it. The air shimmered, and everything blinked out of existence for a moment before she came back to the world. Everything looked so different from her horse’s perspective, but she was glad to know she was safely in one piece. Sapphire was just gazing at her in something akin to shock.
Ciara put her head over the stall door and blew down her nose to Sapphire. The mare leaned forward, sticking her head out but not moving. Ciara inched further forward, reaching out as far as she could, her chest pressed against the door.
Carefully, she tried to read what was going on in Sapphire’s head. Not easy when they could only talk by body language and soft snorts and neighs. But from this, she got everything she needed to gain an accurate assessment of what was wrong with Sapphire.
The black horse turned to look at Sapphire’s old field companion and felt a surge of sadness. Now it was easy to empathise with Sapphire, she was only glad there was nothing wrong with the mare herself, or the foal.
A noise made her start. The barn door opened and a man, Ryan, stood in the doorway. She had been found. There was no way to run past him, not without knocking him over. And she didn’t want to hurt him. All she could do was stand her ground and see if she could make a getaway when he moved away from the door.
Ryan stretched out his hand; he started to walk towards her, crooning as he had earlier when he had tried to comfort Sapphire.
“Shh, girl, easy, Ciara, I won’t hurt you.” He came closer, his eyes looking away from her face so as not to spook her.
All she could think was that there was no escape; he knew it was her, he knew what she was. The simplest thing would be to change back into her human form and talk to him. But she didn’t always do simple, and her horse wanted to feel the touch of his hand on her hide. Wanted him to stroke her soft horsehair and run his hand along her flank.
With an outstretched hand, he was nearly alongside her. If she wanted to, she could barge him out of the way and be out of the barn before he knew what hit him. Her horse planted four hooves firmly on the ground. That was not going to happen.
Ciara smelled his hand, blowing air over it to caress his palm. She saw him shiver, and saw something else flicker across his eyes. Whatever animal he was, it was fighting for release. But Ryan kept firm control of it.
The first touch of his hand made her shudder, her skin moving under his fingertips. He ran them firmly over her shoulder, and along her back. “My, aren’t you a beauty,” he said, in that same sing-song reassuring voice. “I have never seen anything quite so majestical.”
She could listen to him all day, and then she realised that was what he was doing, persuading her to stay. What would he do next, stick a saddle on her and attempt to ride her? The human Ciara snapped back into control and, in an instant, had transformed.
“Good evening, Ciara,” he said, smiling at her.
“I think it’s probably good morning, to be precise.”
“You might be right. And so I have to ask you, what you are doing here in my barn at this time in the morning?”
“I came to see Sapphire.”
“And?”
“I wanted to find out what was wrong with her. The bloodwork told me nothing. And you were so concerned, I wanted to check she was OK.”
“You can talk to other horses?” he asked.
“Yes, sort of. It’s all body language. I’m not telepathic or anything.”
“What a pity.” His eyes flashed in the dark and there was that animal again, lurking just under the surface. She longed to touch him, to make him bring his own beast out of hiding, but he scared her. This man was not a horse; he was a predator, through and through. And oh, how she wanted him to devour her.
“I should be going,” she said, feeling hot, so very hot for him.
He moved to stand in front of her, blocking her way. “You came all of this way to see Sapphire. Over the mountain.” He leaned forward and sniffed the air around her, sending thrills though her body. “I can smell the earth and trees on you.”
“I thought it was the safest way.”
“You could have just knocked on my door; I would have been very welcoming.”
“It was late.”
“For you, it’s never too late.” He breathed in her scent again and there was a slight groan under his breath. She wondered how much self-control he was using not to take her in his arms and make love to her right now.
“I’ll call you in the morning, we’ll talk then.” She made to walk past him, but he didn’t move. This was the thing she had feared. That he would trap her here, and make her do his bidding. The predator and his prey. She had been stupid to come tonight, she knew that now.
And then he moved, standing to the side to allow her to pass. She took a step forward, and he whispered, “Don’t go, Ciara. Stay. One night. Just one night in my bed and then if you want to leave, I won’t sto
p you.”
“I can’t.”
“Why? Do I scare you?”
She looked at him, just making out his features in the dim light. She was so close to him, she could feel the heat from his body, and she wondered if she touched him, whether she would be able to read his body language and interpret his desires. Then she let her imagination wander and realised she didn’t need to touch him, she could read his thoughts from here.
Sex, marriage, and children. It’s what all men wanted once they found their mate. No thought to what their female wanted. Her career would be over and she didn’t want that. She had worked too hard for it. Made a success for herself in her own right.
“No, you don’t scare me. I just don’t want this … this whole mating thing. It’s not what I’m cut out for. I have a career, I don’t want to just fall at your feet and then be ‘wham bam, you’re pregnant, ma’am.’”
He laughed. Really laughed, aloud, which made her mad.
“See, you do not take me seriously. It’s why I left my hometown. I didn’t want to be just another brood mare. I didn’t want to end up like my mother.” She shut her mouth tight, knowing she had said too much, revealed too much of herself. But it was the truth. Watching her mom bring up four children, whilst all the time pining for the job as a research scientist she had given up. The role of mom had kept her busy enough and perhaps fulfilled, but when they had bolted from the stable, she had been left with nothing.
Ciara had watched her, and seen her mourn for the lost years. Years where she could have been out in the world making a difference. She did not want that life for herself. However, the pull of the bond was too intense now he was so close to her. One moment of weakness and she would be lost.
“Ciara, that’s not what I expect you to do. I would never make you give up your career.”
Fated To Her Bear (Bear Bluff Clan Book 5) Page 3