I Go Where You Go

by Jaelyn Hardin

  “Can I ask you something?” Matt interrupted our movie with his question.

  “Sure.”

  “What do you think about what Dani said?”

  I turned around to look at him, my crease in full effect. “Dani says a lot of things. You need to be more specific.”

  He laughed. “About us getting together.”

  I shrugged and tried to act like I wasn’t screaming inside. “I mean, I guess. It makes social sense. We might as well.”

  “Oh! Really!” He was trying to hide his laughter. “It would just be convenient for you?”

  “Oh, for sure! I’m all about convenience.”

  “Funny, cause’ I thought you might like me, or something.”

  I inserted my forehead crease. “Me? I guess. You kind of look like Shawn Mendes, and he’s pretty cute, so…”

  It took less than a second for Matt’s hands to reach my sides and the tickling to begin. My legs were flailing, trying to get him off me.

  “Take it back!” Matt yelled over my laughter.

  “Okay, okay, okay!” I hollered, trying to wiggle free from his grip.

  “Take it back and say you like me, and I’ll stop!”

  “I take it back! I take it back!”

  He stopped tickling for a moment, but his hands were still in place. “And?”

  I paused to try to catch my breath. “And I like you.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you?” He cupped his ear and waited for me to say it again.

  “I said, I like you!” I yelled this time, still out of breath.

  He nodded with a cocky smile. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  “Come here,” I pulled on the front of his shirt and kissed him strongly. He reciprocated immediately, scooping my face in his hand.

  “So?” I pulled back and asked him.

  “So what?”

  “You still have to ask me.”

  He shook his head with a smile. “So needy.”

  I smacked his chest lightly. “If you want me to say yes, don’t make fun of me!”

  “Fine.” He looked down at me deeply, his smile perfectly placed on his lips. He curled my hair behind my ear, bringing back the warmth. “Becka?”

  “Yes?” I knew what he was going to ask but I was still nervous.

  “Will you be my girlfriend?”

  “Becka’s home!” Rhylie sang from the kitchen as I walked in the door, still wearing her turtle-princess costume from the night before. She came flying at me so quickly her tiara almost fell off.

  “Hey, Bug,” I hugged her tightly. “How are you?”

  “I’m great! I got so much candy! Come look!” She dragged me over to a giant bowl centered on the kitchen table that was overflowing with her trick-or-treating goodies.

  “You did great.” I ruffled up her hair and sent her back to her dinner.

  “Are you hungry, sweetie?” Mom asked. “I made soup.”

  “No, I’m okay.”

  “How was the party?” Ryan asked with a mouthful.

  “It was fun, different than any I’ve been to.”

  “How come?” he asked.

  “Because people were happy to see me,” I joked. “And no one cared what I was wearing.”

  “Sounds riveting,” he rolled his eyes.

  “So, you had a good night?” Mom asked.

  I looked down at Matt’s shirt and smiled to myself. “Yea, it was great.”

  She caught on to my smile. “Becka?”

  “Yea?”

  “Anything you want to share? About a certain someone maybe?” She propped her head on her hand, looking back at me like she already knew what I was going to say.

  “Maybe…” I met her eyes and I let her read my mind.

  She clapped her hands and cheered. “It’s about damn time!”

  “What did I just miss?” Ryan looked back and forth between me and Mom full of confusion.

  “Matt is officially the boyfriend,” Mom sang happily.

  “Well, would you look at that,” Ryan smiled, “good for you.”

  “Matt is your boyfriend?” Rhylie’s expression was not so joyous.

  “Yea, Bug. He is.” She dropped her spoon in her soup and ran from the table. She went flying up the stairs and a few seconds later her door slammed shut.

  “What just happened?” I looked over at Ryan and Mom for clarification, but they were just as confused as I was.

  “Bug? Are you okay?” I knocked softly on her door, but she didn’t answer. “Bug?” I slowly opened the door and found a large bump hidden underneath her blankets. I sat on the edge of her bed, trying to coax her to come out. “Bug? What’s wrong?” I lifted the blanket and covered both of us. I found her sad face wrapped up in her arms. “Bug, will you talk to me please?” She shook her head no. “No? How am I supposed to know what is going on if you won’t talk to me?”

  She looked back at me and exhaled. “I don’t want you to have a boyfriend,” she said with an angry tone for a seven-year-old.

  “Why not?” She stopped talking again. “Don’t you like Matt?” She nodded her head that time. “He likes you too, he tells me all the time.” She looked at me unsure if I was telling the truth. “He does, he always says how awesome you are.”

  “I like Matt.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t want you to have a boyfriend.”

  “Why not?”

  “Cause’ now you won’t have time to play with me.” Her eyes were welling up with tears, it was breaking my heart.

  “Oh, Bug! Yes, I will! We can still play all the time!”

  “No, we won’t. You’ll be gone with Matt and I won’t have anyone to play with anymore.”

  I shook my head and pulled her into my arms. “That’s not going to happen. You are my Bug, and that comes before everything else.” I kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. “We will still do stuff together, and Matt wants to do stuff with us too.”

  “He does?” Her voice was squeaky.

  “Of course, he does! He thinks you are so cool! You haven’t lost me, Bug. You’ve gained another person to play with.” I lifted her head to look at her face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You promise?”

  “Pinky promise!” I stuck my pinky out for her, and she smiled. She wrapped her finger around mine and hugged me back. “So, can you be happy for me now that he’s my boyfriend?”

  “No!” she shrieked with a smile.

  “Why not?”

  “Cause’ that means you’re going to kiss him!” she laughed and stuck out her tongue. “Kissing is gross!”

  “It’s gross, huh?” I grabbed her face and planted a big kiss on her cheek, making her laugh.

  “Gross, Becka!” She threw the blanket off her head and jumped out of the bed, running away from me.

  “Come kiss me!” I chased her through her room making kissing noises. I picked her up and planted another sloppy kiss on her forehead.

  “So gross!” She wiped the kiss away and went downstairs. I stood in the doorway and listened to her laugh. My sister was fantastic.

  I hung out with the family for the rest of the evening. Rhylie was coloring, Mom was reading in her chair, and Ryan and I were watching television. I thought about my conversation with Matt and telling him about my dad. I never wanted to tell people because to me it didn’t matter. But I was also scared. I didn’t want people to judge my family. We were all we had ever had, unable to be dependent on anyone. But Matt was different. Matt wasn’t judgmental. I knew my secret would be safe with him.

  Ryan and I were debating on the conclusion of our movie when my phone lit up.

  Matt: Hey you :)

  Just the sight of his name on my screen sent me in a frenzy.

  Me: Hey yourself :)

  Matt: What are you up to?

  Me: Watching a movie with Ryan. What about you?

  Matt: Doing the same with Dani, she is still in and out of sleep lol
<
br />   Me: Can’t say I’m surprised lol

  Matt: So…

  Me: So…

  Matt: I don’t know how the hell I’m going to sleep tonight

  Me: Why?

  Matt: Because it was amazing having you in my arms, it won’t be the same

  Me: You better stop…

  Matt: Why?

  Me: Because I’m going to start thinking things I shouldn’t think around my family

  Matt: We will just have to have another sleepover

  Me: I would like that very much

  Matt: I wish I could kiss you right now…or at least just lay with you. Hold your hand or something

  Me: A kiss from you sounds perfect right now

  Matt: We should probably talk about something else. I want to kiss you really bad and I’m not trying to make this worse.

  Me: LOL okay. I fought for you today

  Matt: With who?

  Me: Rhylie

  Matt: What happened???

  Me: I told her about us and she freaked out thinking I won’t play with her anymore.

  Matt: No… :(

  Me: She was really upset

  Matt: Please tell me you told her I would play with her all the time

  Me: Of course I did! I promised I wouldn’t leave her for you, now she just doesn’t want to see us kiss

  Matt: LOL that might be a problem

  Me: We will just have to build all the pillow barriers

  Matt: Yea…I’ll get right on that

  Me: You sound super dedicated to this project

  Matt: I make no promises

  Me: A promise to keep your hands off me? Definitely not asking for that promise ;)

  Matt: Thank god!

  My scholarship essay was close to being finished, but my brain was fried. I had reread it so many times, it was starting to sound like gibberish. But I needed to finalize a few things before submitting it. The gist of my paper was about my obesity and how I overcame it along with the bullying that ensued. But I also incorporated Rhylie and how my weight loss not only changed my development as a person, but as a sister too. I was trying to describe my relationship with Rhylie so those who aren’t able to see us interact can still understand how close we are, and the process was making me very emotional. I wasn’t good at letting people in, let alone strangers, so the thought of sharing this piece with someone was causing more turmoil in my mind than expected.

  I laid on the couch, notebook, and pen in hand, circling, crossing out and highlighting points of my paper I considered editing. Mom was in her studio, Ryan was gone doing who knows what, and Rhylie in her room. The house was peaceful and was giving me time to dig into my thoughts and create the best paper I could.

  “Matt’s here!”

  Rhylie screamed from her bedroom before tumbling down the stairs in a red tutu and an Iron Man mask.

  “What?”

  “Matt’s here!” she yelled again. She opened the front door and what do you know, Matt was just about at the door. “Matt!” She screamed before running in his arms.

  “Rhylie!” He walked in the house holding our little Iron Man and closed the door. “Just the girl I wanted to see.”

  “Me?” She pulled her mask off so she could see him better.

  “Yes, you.” He poked her in the chest. “Do you want to ride your bike to the park with me?”

  I thought I was going to cry. I sat on the couch with a smile that was bigger than my face.

  “Really?” she shrieked with excitement.

  “Go ask your mom and we will go.” Matt tried to set her on the floor, but she jumped before he could. She tore down the hall and into Mom’s studio, shouting before the door was even open.

  “Hey.”

  Matt looked back at me and I found him to be sexier than ever.

  “Hey, yourself,” he mimicked me.

  “What are you doing?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t want her to think of me as stealing you. I want her to have both of us.” I put my hands over my face. He was unbelievable. “What?”

  “You,” I whispered. “Just you.”

  “Good or bad?”

  “Incredible.”

  “Come here.”

  I jumped off the couch and walked over to him, taking his hand in mine so we could enlace. It was like a magnet connecting. As soon as our fingers touched, he pulled me into him and smashed his lips on mine. I immediately felt heat rise up my legs. It caught me by surprise, but I greeted it happily. Matt slid his hands on my lower back and squeezed me, making my back arch with his deep kiss. He had never kissed me like this before, and I wanted to pack up and live there. I put my hands on his head and ran my fingers through his hair, kissing him again. He squeezed me with such strength, it was crazy I didn’t moan.

  We released from the kiss and stared at each other’s lips, breathing heavier and heavier. Rhylie’s voice was getting louder which meant she was getting closer, but I couldn’t manage to let go of him. I knew he didn’t want to, but he slowly released his hold on my back and backed up, trying not to let Rhylie or my mom see us.

  “See Mom! He’s right here!”

  Rhylie came around the corner with Mom dragging behind her.

  “Hi, Matt.” She looked down at Rhylie and smiled. “Rhylie says you would like to take her to the park?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He nodded. “I know Becka is working on her paper, I figured I could take Rhylie off your hands for a while if that’s okay.”

  “Please, Mom!” Rhylie was downright begging for a yes.

  “Are you sure?” Mom asked him. “You really don’t have to.”

  He nodded with a smile. “Not a problem for me.”

  She smiled and shrugged. “Alright, go get your shoes on.” She led Rhylie to the stairs. She was halfway up in less than a second. “Thanks, Matt,” Mom said. “That was really nice of you.”

  “I do what I can.”

  Mom gave me an impressed look before heading back down the hall into her studio.

  “She’s right you know,” I told him. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “I know. But the way I see it is the sooner you get that paper done, the sooner I get you all to myself.”

  “I can work with that.” I leaned in and kissed him lightly. “What are the chances I get to see you later?” I whispered on his lips.

  “Very, very high.” He closed the distance between us and put me in another frenzy. I didn’t want him to let go.

  “Ew!”

  We let go of each other and found Rhylie at the top of the stairs.

  “Stop kissing!” she shouted again. “I’m going to throw up!”

  Matt threw his head back and laughed. “Let’s go, Rhylie.”

  She put her helmet on her head and made her way to Matt. “I’m ready.”

  “Awesome.” He shook the top of her helmet and led her out the door. He shot me one last look that about made me collapse. “I’ll see you later.”

  I watched him chase Rhylie down the driveway as she sped up on her bike. He ran next to her down the road. I watched until they weren’t in my view anymore. I threw my body down on the couch and smiled. Matt was absolutely amazing. I couldn’t believe that I had found such an amazing person and who seemed to feel the same about me. I’d had boyfriends before, but they had never been as sweet as Matt. Most of them were more laid back about their emotions and only wanted sex, but I knew Matt was different. He tells me how he feels about me and says things I never thought I’d hear, especially from a man. It was more than sex. Everything he told me about being with him made me appreciate him so much more.

  I tried my hardest to concentrate on my paper, but I just wanted to see Matt. Our kiss kept replaying in my head and that was all I wanted to think about. My body was still on fire from his touch, I couldn’t wait to feel it again. I had to reread a sentence about six times before I gave up entirely. Matt’s lips were the only thing on my mind.

  I woke up from my daydream when my phone buz
zed off the table.

  Matt: You better be working on that paper. You are mine when we get back.

  Wow.

  Me: How do you expect me to concentrate after kissing me like that?

  Matt: Idk but if you want more you better figure it out ;)

  I couldn’t handle my emotions for him. I was going crazy. But I knew he was right, so I tried to focus.

  About an hour went by before I heard Bug’s giggle outside the door. Just listening to it made me smile. The editing portion of my paper was finished, all it needed was to be typed one final time and it looked about ready to be submitted. Hopefully, I could do it.

  “Becka!” Rhylie yelled as she came through the door.

  “Hey, Bug.” I put my work on the table and got up to meet her, picking her up in my arms. “Did you have fun?”

  “So much!” she squealed. “I raced him with my bike, and he went on his feet! He’s really fast! And then we played on the swings! And then after that, we played a game on the jungle-gym where we couldn’t touch different colors! It was so much fun!”

  “Sounds like it was a blast.” I smiled with her, enjoying her excitement. I looked over and found Matt leaning against the door, matching my smile towards Rhylie.

  “Can we go again?” Rhylie whirled her body around in my arms to look at Matt.

  “Really soon, I promise.” He came closer to us and spoke. “But would it be okay if Becka and I go hang out for a little bit?”

  Rhylie looked back at me, unsure if it was going to be okay. “Will you bring her back?”

  Matt smiled at her and took my breath away. “Of course, I will.” He rubbed her back sweetly. “I’ll borrow her just for a little while, is that okay?”

  She looked back and forth from me to him. “Fine, but no kissing, okay?” Matt’s cheeks turned red immediately, the first time I’d ever seen him blush.

  “You know all my kisses are for you!” I started peppering kisses on her face as she squirmed in my arms until I set her free.

  “So gross!” She barreled up the stairs straight for her room.

  Matt slid his arm around my waist. I melted into his body and smiled. I felt his lips lightly trace the base of my neck very slowly, getting deeper with each kiss. “Do you want to get out of here?” he whispered. Feeling his breath on my skin drove me crazy.