I went to my locker to get ready for the day and Madison was alone for once. She rarely was without Ashleigh attached to her hip, and she looked different by herself. She still dressed the same, a tight dress as always.
“Hi, Becka.”
I didn’t expect her to speak to me, it caught me off guard. “Madison.”
“How have you been?”
I didn’t understand why she was acknowledging me. “Fine.”
“That’s good. You look good.”
I rolled my eyes and got my things from my locker. I didn’t have time for her. I got a few feet away before she yelled to me.
“I’m dating Aiden.”
I was dead in my tracks. I turned back to her and there were nerves covering her face. “What?”
“Aiden and me, we’re dating.” She tried to force a smile, but it came out fearful.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“I wanted you to hear it from me… before you heard it somewhere else.”
“Why does it matter?” I could feel my temper rising.
She fumbled her hands together. “You guys were like, kind of a thing. I didn’t want you to be upset that he’s with me now.”
What? My brain was a mess, nothing made sense. I walked closer to her, hoping she would hear me clearly. “Madison, you do know what he did to me, right?”
“That wasn’t him, that was Ashleigh.”
“He took the bet, Madison, no one made him. He agreed to it. That’s the person you want to be with? That’s okay with you?”
She averted her eyes from mine, clearly denying his involvement. “It was a long time ago.”
“Not really, but whatever you need to tell yourself to justify it.” I rolled my eyes and tried to leave again.
“Come on, Becka. At least I was nice enough to tell you. That’s not something Ashleigh would have ever done.”
My head whipped around so hard it hurt my neck. “So, that makes it okay?”
“I just thought you had a right to know.”
“Let me ask you something,” I stepped up to her and crossed my arms over my chest. “Did you know about the bet?” Her eyes immediately hit the floor. “Tell me the truth Madison, did you know?”
“So, what if I did?” There were tears welling up in her eyes, but I didn’t buy it. It wasn’t because she felt bad, it was because she was getting what she deserved, and Ashleigh wasn’t there to defend her.
“So, you are just as bad as Ashleigh because you knew. You knew, you did nothing about it, and now you want to call the boy that did it to me your boyfriend. You are just as bad, deal with it.”
I couldn’t concentrate on my next class; Madison threw off my flow. She only wanted to tell me because she felt guilty about being like Ashleigh, not because she cared about what she did to me. If she really did, she wouldn’t be dating that asshole in the first place. She is probably just blinded by the idea of going on double dates with Ashleigh and Austin. She hasn’t changed at all; she just wants to think she has.
“Hey, you.” Matt met me at my locker just before lunch like always. I was so happy to see his face. Madison ruined my entire morning and just the sight of his eyes made it all better. I wrapped my arms around his body and squeezed him tighter than he expected. “Woah there, that’s a hug.”
“I missed you,” I whispered into his chest.
“I missed you too.” He kissed the top of my head softly and hugged me back. “Are you okay?”
I nodded my head against him. “I’m just ready to get out of here.”
“A few more hours.”
“No, I mean like this town.” I released from him and met his deep eyes. “I’m just so sick of this place and these people. I just want to get out of here.”
“Can I come?” he asked with a smile, making me laugh.
“Yes, please.”
He held my hand in his and kissed the back of it. “Soon enough, it will just be me and you. Just hang in there.” He made it sound so easy.
Friday morning, I pulled into the school parking lot like normal, but it wasn’t normal. Matt wasn’t in the library like I expected him to be. He was still sitting in his car. It was such an abnormality, I couldn’t help but worry.
“What’s wrong?” I blurted as I ran around his car to meet him at his door.
He smiled, “why do you assume something is wrong?”
“You normally don’t wait outside.”
“So that means something is wrong?”
“No, but-”
“Hey, nothing’s wrong.” He put his hand around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. “Put the crease away.”
I smiled to myself. He was right, I assumed the worst. “Sorry, I just got worried.”
“It’s okay.” He looked back at me with something different in his eyes. “Good morning, by the way.”
“Good morning.” I loved it when he had his arms around me. It put butterflies in my stomach. And this glimmer in his eyes was doing something else to me. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” He was still smiling.
“There is something different about your smile.” I knew he wasn’t telling me something, he couldn’t keep it from me.
“Really? What?”
“I don’t know, you look happy. Like you have good news.”
He nodded slowly. “That’s interesting.”
“Will you just tell me?” I couldn’t take it. “I know you have something to tell me.”
His smile got bigger. “I do have news. I can’t promise it’s good, but I do have news.” He let go of me and reached for his backpack. In the front pocket, he pulled out an envelope. The envelope he held between the two of us was crested with a large maroon B in the corner. The address read Barnett University: Office of Admissions.
I looked back up at him with shock. It was his letter. He had hope in his eyes, that’s what the glimmer was.
“Matt,” I whispered.
“I know.”
We were standing so close, but the envelope stayed between us. I was nervous for him, but this wave of positivity washed over me.
“Well, open it already.” I smiled. His smile matched mine, but I saw his chest rise and fall quickly. He was nervous. For the boy who never got nervous, this was huge. I put my hand over his on the envelope and met his eyes. “Hey, you got this. Open it.”
He held his eyes on mine for a few seconds before going back to the envelope. Like a band-aid, he tore the end of the envelope off and unfolded his paper. His eyes scanned the paper a mile a minute. I couldn’t tell if he was actually reading the letter or just looking for the negative words.
“Well?” I couldn’t take the suspense.
“I got in.”
“What?” I screamed. “You got in?”
“I got in.” This time he looked back at me with a smile that enveloped his face.
“You got in!” I threw myself around him and jumped into his arms. “You got in!” I couldn’t stop screaming. I smashed my lips against his so rough he nearly lost his balance. He propped me up on the hood of the car for support, never stopping our kiss. I was so proud of him I couldn’t contain myself.
“You did it, Matt!” I ran my hands over his hair and looked in his eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you, Becks.” This look of relief washed over his face. “I can’t believe it.”
“The next step to your future is in place and ready to go.”
“Now I just need you to come with me.” He hugged my body into his, resting our faces together.
“Stop it, this isn’t about me. It’s about you.” I didn’t want to take away his moment with my worry. “Let’s focus on your future.”
“But what if I want my future with you?” The charm of his words made me lose my breath. “Because I do. I want to go to Barnett and get my degree, but it would be so much better if we got to do it together.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes. I felt an immense amount of pressure
from his words.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I’m not.”
“You don’t have to think the worst all the time, Becks.”
“I know, but I want this so bad. If I don’t get in it’s going to hurt. But I don’t want it to hurt you too.”
“Your hurt is my hurt, Becka.” He hugged me tightly. “I go where you go, remember?”
“Except college,” I attempted the joke, but he did not respond well. Matt looked back at me the farthest thing from amused. “Oh, come on, I’m kidding.”
“Not funny.”
“Look, don’t worry about me. I’ll either get in or I won’t. We can figure it out when it happens. For now, we need to focus on you. You did it. You worked your ass off and got in. This is what is important.” I held his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “I am so proud of you, Matt.”
“Thank you.” He tried to smile but I knew it wasn’t real. “I can’t stop you from preparing for the worst, but I can tell you I have full confidence in you. You are going to get in. Trust me.”
We made our way to the library, going back to our bubble of solitude. I still couldn’t stop smiling, so incredibly proud of him. I knew how deeply Matt wanted to get into Barnett and open his gym. His future was looking very bright.
“You excited for the meet tonight?” Matt asked as we packed up to go to our classes.
“More like nervous.”
“Why?”
“We are doing the two-mile relay again, but it’s an indoor track, smaller than our outdoor one. We are spaced out differently, our handoffs aren’t in the same place, and we have to run more than one lap at a time. Our timing needs to be perfect.”
“You guys have been practicing though right? Preparing for everything?”
I nodded. “Coach has been on us to make sure we don’t get disqualified. I think we’ve got it, just nervous.”
He shook his head with a smile. “You are such a worrier. Try not to panic, you are gonna do great.”
We got up from our table and I wrapped myself around his body, wanting to be in his arms. “What about you? Are you ready for dinner?”
He shrugged casually. “It’s gonna be interesting.”
“C’mon, it’s going to be fun. And with your good news.” He looked down at the floor instead of meeting my eyes. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
I stared at him until he met my eyes. “What’s up?”
He was in his head for a moment, deep in thought. “Would you mind not telling my dad about college?”
I inserted my crease. “Why?”
“Just with everything going on with him, I’m not sure it will be good news, especially if he’s drinking.” His face went deep again, like that night he opened up to me.
“Things still weird?”
He shrugged. “He wants me to forgive him, but I feel like the only way he is going to get better is if he knows what he’s doing. He’s not happy with me most of the time lately, I don’t know that he’ll be happy for me with this.”
“But it’s college, you don’t think he’d set that aside?”
“I couldn’t tell you.”
My heart hurt for him. He already lost his mom, he didn’t need a dad wearing him down, especially now. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” he looked at me sweetly. “Nothing for you to be sorry about. You don’t have to be sorry with me, remember?”
“I just wish it wasn’t like this for you.”
“It is what it is, but I’m okay. I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m leaving this place and going to college, and,” he kissed me deeply, making me feel it everywhere. “I have an absolutely amazing girlfriend, who I love very much.”
“I love you too,” I whispered on his lips.
“No need to worry. Let’s just keep the news between us.”
“Not even Dani?” I didn’t think he thought about her. “You can’t keep this from her, she’ll kill you, and me.”
“That’s true. We can tell her at lunch.” He kissed me one last time before taking my hand and walking me to class. I couldn’t blame him for being happy, I was too.
We sat at the table with Dani and James for lunch and it was taking every ounce of strength I could muster not to show my excitement for Matt. I didn’t want to give anything away. I wanted Dani’s excitement to be pure. We were casually talking and eating, just like normal, only I was waiting for the bomb to drop.
“Hey guys,” James said. “Are we rescheduling movie night since y’all have that dinner tonight?”
“For sure, we can just do it tomorrow,” Dani said.
“Are you coming tonight?” Matt asked. “I thought it was just me, Becka and Dad.”
Dani shook her head with food in her mouth. “No, I’ll be there.”
There was a lot of casual conversation going on, I wasn’t sure how he was going to bring up his good news, so I just waited.
“Dani, are you planning on getting a car anytime soon?” Matt asked, starting the conversation.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” she sipped her water. “Why?”
“Just wondering. You won’t really be able to visit me at school without a car.” He reached into his backpack and pulled out his acceptance letter so only I would see. I tried to stay calm and nonchalant.
She rolled her eyes. “I guess I’ll figure it out when the time comes.”
Matt put his letter in the center of the table for everyone to see. “You might want to start figuring it out.”
Dani’s eyes grew to the size of her face. “WHAT?” Volume was no longer a concern. “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?”
“I got in.” He smiled back at her.
She got up and stood in front of him, jumping up and down spastically. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?”
Matt stood face to face with Dani. “I’m serious.”
She jumped up and hugged him so tightly I thought Matt was going to turn purple. “I’m so fucking proud of you!” Her voice was muffled into his shoulder, but it was still super loud. A lot of people were watching the encounter, myself included. I couldn’t look away.
Once Dani stopped asking if he was being for real, she sat back down, her face a beam of light and happiness.
“Dude, congratulations.” James stood up and gave Matt their little handshake/man hug thing. “That’s awesome.”
“Thanks, man.” Matt’s smile was back, and so was mine.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Dani’s eyes were wide as she read his acceptance letter. “Congratulations Matthew Murphy, on behalf of Barnett University, I am pleased to announce your admission for the upcoming Fall Semester. We have reviewed your application and all the supporting documents and are happy to inform you of your acceptance into BOTH our Bachelors in Business Program as well as our Kinesiology Program.”
Matt draped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into him, kissing the top of my hair. I knew he was uncomfortable with all this praise, but he deserved it. I wrapped my arms around him so tightly, wanting to show him just how unbelievably proud of him I truly was.
I studied my reflection, trying to prepare for the evening. I wore a dark green open-backed sweater and dark jeans with ankle boots. I kept my hair in its natural waves, but I did my makeup. I used to do my makeup all the time, but I had been taking it easy over the past few months. But as I got ready for dinner, it just felt right. I painted a dark smoky eye on my lids and enhanced my eyelashes as much as my mascara would allow me. I finished with a deep burgundy lip color, something Matt hadn’t seen on me before.
A knock on the door took me from my trance.
“Hey sweetie,” Mom announced as she came into the room. She sat down on my bed, folding the clothes I took out and decided against. “You did great at your meet today, I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I shyly smiled. We did well, but we didn’t get first. And after coming in first during my first
meet, I really wanted to prove myself again. We came in second, and it was close. I think if we had prepared a little bit more for the smaller track, we would have nailed it.
“Where are you guys going to dinner?”
“Matt didn’t say, he just said he would be here to pick me up.”
“How mysterious,” Mom joked. “Are you nervous?”
“A little bit, I guess.” I couldn’t lie about that.
“Well don’t be. His dad is going to love you, just like Matt does.”
I smiled to myself, hearing it out loud made my heart race. “I’m not worried about that, just the dinner in general I guess.”
“What does that mean?”
I didn’t want to give away Matt’s story, it wasn’t mine to tell, but Mom was Mom. “Michael and Matt don’t get along all the time. Matt is nervous about the dinner, and he doesn’t get nervous about anything, so I guess that’s why I’m nervous.”
She nodded slowly like she always does when she is listening. “What is Matt nervous about, exactly?”
I put my purse together and thought carefully. It wasn’t like I was telling a stranger; it was Mom.
“Michael is an alcoholic.” Mom didn’t say anything, she just listened. “He never really healed when Matt and Dani’s mom died, so he drinks. Matt takes it really hard.” I sat on the bed next to her, needing her comfort. “He’s so strong, but he’s hurting with this, I can tell.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in.
“That’s a lot for a kid to take.”
“He got into Barnett,” I whispered.
“What?” She hollered with a grin.
“His acceptance letter came this morning.”
“That’s great! I’m so happy for him!”
“I know, me too. He worked so hard for this,” I exhaled. “I really just want this dinner to go smoothly for him. He asks very little of anyone, he deserves this.”
“Oh honey, don’t stress.” She put her arm back around me and kissed my head. “You can’t control his dad, and neither can Matt. Just do what you always do, make him happy.”
And just like that, the doorbell rang, and my heart jumped.
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