“How about three and a dog?” I bartered.
“Deal.” His lips hit mine again with the same passion I felt in my heart. “So, what do you think? About everything?” He wiped away the rest of my tears with his smooth fingertips.
I couldn’t stop smiling when I looked at him. He was everything I had ever imagined. “I think I want a small wedding. Just family and a few friends. No one’s great aunt that neither of us has met.”
His smile grew wider. “Okay.”
“And the dog before the kids. That way he can be there when they are born and watch them grow.”
“Okay.”
“And a house with a really big yard so we can lay outside and watch the stars all night.”
Another kiss fell between us. “I’ll get you whatever you want. I just want to know if that will make you happy.”
“I don’t need stuff to be happy. I just need you. I need to know that no matter what happens around us, no matter what jobs, what homes, or what schools, you will always stay with me.”
“I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I go where you go.”
We kissed for a while, nothing moving quickly. I was just enjoying the feel of his lips on mine and his hands roaming around my skin. One moment our breathing was in sync with each other, but in the next his heartbeat started to race, I could feel it through his shirt.
“Are you okay?” I asked, touching my hand to his chest. “Your heart is beating really fast.”
He nodded. “I’m good, I promise.” He kissed my palm with a smile. “I have a new song for you.”
I instantly pouted. “What’s wrong with our other songs?”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing. But I think you are going to like this one.” He unraveled me from his lap and connected his phone to his speaker. When he came back to me, I was eyeing him skeptically. He reached his hand out for me. “Will you dance with me?”
The magic was back. “This had better be a good song.”
“Trust me.” He hit play on his phone and began to move. I instantly recognized the song, but I didn’t understand.
We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January
This is our place, we make the rules
And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear
Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?
“This is my song for you,” I pointed out. “This is Lover.”
He hushed me softly. “Just wait for it.”
The chorus began to play, and I tried to enjoy it, but I didn’t understand why he was playing a song I already played for him.
“Matt, I’m telling you, this is my song for you.”
“Just give it a minute, Becks,” Matt laughed at my impatience. I was so confused, and I wanted him to explain. I tried to hold back my objection, but I was about to budge. I opened my mouth to try and explain his mistake, but the sweetest male voice appeared on the track and I couldn’t breathe. His voice and his words were perfect.
We could light a bunch of candles
And dance around the kitchen, baby
Pictures of when we were young would hang on the wall
We’ll sit on the stoop
I'll sing love songs to you when we're eighty
See, I finally got you now, honey, I won't let you fall
Big surprise, the tears were back. My face was clinging to his chest, smiling and crying all the same. He held me close, letting me take it all in.
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?
With every guitar string scar on my hand
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth
The girl in my story has always been you
I'd go down with the Titanic, it's true, for you, lover
And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover (Save you a seat)
Can I go where you go? (Can I go where you go, baby?)
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home (Forever and ever)
You're my, my, my, my
Oh, you're my, my, my, my
Darling, you're my, my, my, my lover
By the end of the song, tears were all over my face, but I didn’t care. I was on a high, and I never wanted to fall.
“I’m sorry that I had to re-do your song, but I thought you might like it better this way.”
I laughed lightly at his joke, but then it hit me. The voice. I held Matt at arms-length and stared at him in shock. “No way! Shawn Mendes?”
He shut his eyes tight with a smile. “If you tell Dani, I’ll kill you.”
“You wrote me a song!”
I got the laugh I had been waiting for. He threw his head back in hysteria. “Shawn Mendes sang the song; it just happens to apply here. Total coincidence.”
“You were Shawn Mendes for me!” I hugged him greatly, burying my face in his chest.
“Again, if you tell Dani, I’ll kill you.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you.”
He hugged me back, kissing the top of my head. “Did you like it though?”
I reached up and held his face in my hand, stroking his cheek softly. “It’s even more me and you than the first one.”
We kissed gently, feeling it everywhere. I was ready to have him all to myself, but he had other plans.
“Can you do me a favor?” he whispered on my lips. “Can you sit on the bed for me? I have something for you.”
“More stuff?” I laughed in shock. “This is dangerous, Matt.”
“Just sit down, please.”
I released from him and backed up slowly, sitting on the end of his bed, white rose petals surrounding me. Matt stood in front of me, nerves covering him. I couldn’t tell what was going through his head, but it was serious. He took a deep breath before pulling a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolding it slowly. He ran a hand through his hair and began reading.
“Becks, before I met you, I wasn’t handling things well. I was hiding a lot of anger and I didn’t know how to let people in. But you made it okay to trust. You showed me a new way to deal with everything around me, and I couldn’t love you more for it. In such a short time you became such a huge part of my life. You became my best friend, and the one person I never get tired of seeing. I hate when we are apart. And when we are together, I never want it to end. It’s addicting to be with you.” Tears were already pouring down my face, but I didn’t dare stop him.
“You told me before how scared you are of getting hurt, and then I messed up. I broke your trust and I thought it was unfixable. I thought I lost you. But you found it in your beautiful heart to forgive me and let me back in. And now I have never been more scared in my life. I’m scared that I’ll do something like that again. I’m scared that I’ll get in my head and won’t be able to handle something. But then I look at you and I want to push that fear away, because embracing that fear means losing you, and I can’t do that again.” He sniffled quickly, clearing his throat to try and cover up his emotions. “I’m so sorry I hurt you and made you feel like I didn’t love you. I love everything about you. From how you cry at everything, to the crease in your forehead. I love the way your body relaxes when I kiss your palms. I love the way you shake your leg when you are anxious. I love the little smile you make after you take that first sip of coffee in the morning. I love how you can tell when I need you to hold my hand. I love the way you love me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can’t wait to spend our lives together. I love you Becks.”
I could’ve cried forever. He was everything. I reached my hands out, trying to pull him to me, but he wouldn’t.
“Wait, before I lose my nerve,” he exhaled, shaking out his hands. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something so small I couldn’t see it. I was about to insert my crease, but he didn’t give me enough time. Matt began to l
ower in front of me, one knee on the floor. I shot my hands to my face, my heart beating out of my chest.
“What are you doing?” I mumbled loudly through my palms.
“You are probably thinking I am absolutely crazy, and this is crazy, but I don’t care. You are my everything and I can’t imagine my life without you. I’m not asking you to marry me today, but I am hoping you will marry me one day. So that’s what I’m proposing.” He uncovered his hand and showed me a beautiful silver band wrapped in diamonds. “Rebecka Jade Adams, will you marry me one day?”
As the worlds most perfect man knelt in front of me, clean shaven, eyes full of tears, with a gorgeous ring in his hand, I couldn’t help but stare. I stared at the curve of his jaw, the deep browns of his hair, the way the color in his eyes brightened in the candlelight. I stared deeply at him, memorizing everything about this moment so one day I could tell our kids exactly how it happened.
“Yes.”
Matt grinned almost in relief. Tears slowly fell from the corner of his eyes as he took my hand and slid the ring up my finger. It fit like a glove.
I didn’t have a chance to really look at it on my hand because Matt collected my face in his hands and kissed me like I came back from war. I dove my fingers into the back of his hair, matching his passion.
“I love you Matt.” I whispered to him.
“I love you too.” He pulled back from our embrace and smiled at me, wiping my tears. “Do you like it?”
I nodded so quickly, peering down at my hand. “It’s absolutely gorgeous.”
“It was my mom’s.”
“What?” A new stream of tears came out. Matt chuckled as he wiped them away.
“It was her wedding band from when she married my dad.”
I stared down at it now in a different way, feeling so much more. “But it means so much to your family. Are you sure you want me to have it?”
“Am I sure? Becks, I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. I want you to wear it, and I know my mom would’ve too.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, smashing my tear-stained cheeks to his. His hands roamed down my sides and behind my legs, lifting me so quickly. I wrapped my legs around him tightly, not caring at how high my dress was riding up. We were finally back to the place we had been longing for, I wasn’t stopping it for anything. I craved him.
I ran my hands threw his hair, grasping at it. Matt sat roughly, bouncing my body on his lap. I rushed to the buttons on his shirt, popping them open one by one until I found his skin. I slid the shirt over his shoulders, never releasing from our kiss. The bottom of the dress was already at my waist, making it much easier to just pull it over my head. When the dress was gone, Matt came face to face with a new lavender lingerie set, his eyes going dark with lust. He smashed his face to my chest, kissing my cleavage and clutching my back so powerfully, I was falling apart on his lap.
His lips traveled from my chest to my neck, biting at my skin. I moaned out greatly, not nervous to show him how he made me feel. We had a house to ourselves; I had no reason to be quiet. He showed me how much he liked it by biting me again and pulling me closer. His fingers danced their way to the clasp of my bra, unhooking it in one smooth motion, allowing my breasts to fall against his skin.
I brought his face back to mine, holding his chin firmly in my hands. I slid my tongue across his bottom lip, making that low grumble form in the back of his throat just how I liked. He flipped me down onto my back, hovering over my body. His lips found mine again, touching me roughly and wildly. They traveled down my body, across my neck and my chest until they were over my stretchmarks, so close to where all the tingles were originating. He was so careful, sliding his fingers around the seam of my bottoms and sliding them down my legs, making my skin scream at his touch.
He kissed his way back up my body until we were face to face, chests rising and falling as one. He leaned down to kiss me again, but his lips never quite met mine.
“Matt,” I pined his name.
“What baby?” His lips came to mine again, but they still didn’t touch. “What do you want?”
“You,” I cried out, unable to keep it in any longer. “I want you.”
He kissed me deeply again, making it all worth it.
Twenty-Four
Matt and I were back. After that night at his house, there was no sign of weirdness ever existing between us. We were back to being that annoying lovey couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. My smile didn’t leave my face very often, but when it did, Matt managed to put it right back where it belonged.
Dani was so happy for us. Matt had told her he was going to give me the ring, she just didn’t know when. When she saw me wearing it, she hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe, but I knew it was all love. And it turned out Dani wasn’t the only one that knew. Matt had asked my mom if it was okay, wanting her permission before promising me the world. I cried so hard when I found out. I really had the perfect man.
We got back in our routine for school, studying in the morning and just trying to get through the year. More and more people were getting their letters for college. I tried to ignore it as best I could, but I could only ignore so much.
Matt had walked me back to my locker one morning, getting ready to split up for our classes, but my locker was not the lone area it usually was. Madison and Aiden were deep in conversation, but it was quickly turning into an argument.
“Any idea what that’s about?” Matt asked, looking at them suspiciously.
“No, but it doesn’t look good.” I didn’t want to interrupt, but in that instant, Aiden slammed his fist against the locker so close to Madison’s face it made her jump. I wasn’t going to just watch this happen. Matt and I powered over to her, involving ourselves.
“Madison, you okay?” I announced my arrival.
“Back off, 3B,” Aiden snapped at me. Matt’s eyes went dark. He stepped in between the two of them, going eye level with Aiden.
“Maybe you should do the same,” Matt threatened.
Aiden rolled his eyes, taking a step back. Matt followed his steps, never widening the distance between the two of them. “This has nothing to do with you.”
I stood close to Madison, wrapping my arm around hers tightly. She didn’t look scared, she looked strong.
“They already know about the baby,” she stated, catching us both by surprise. I didn’t think she was talking about it so openly.
“Damnit, Madison!” Aiden yelled, pushing his body against Matt’s but only staring at her. “How many fucking people did you tell?”
“Why does it matter?” she asked. “You don’t want anything to do with it, remember?”
“Doesn’t mean you have to tell the whole fucking world!” Matt was holding him back, his arms flexing around his shirt. “It’s not even mine anyway!”
“It is yours, but if you don’t think so then it doesn’t matter who I tell.” Her arm tightened with mine, looking for strength.
“I swear to God, Madison, if you fuck up my life because of this—”
“I wouldn’t finish that sentence,” Matt warned him, still holding him back.
“I said back off!” Aiden pushed at Matt’s chest, jostling him backward. Matt held his hands up in defense, but still wouldn’t let him get close to Madison.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Matt warned again. “Just leave her alone.”
Aiden looked back at Matt with so much anger, his face was turning red. He wouldn’t hit Matt, we all knew it, but it was clear to see he wanted to. He looked back at Madison, still just as mad.
“Just get rid of it.” He stormed off down the hall, steams of anger wafting off him. As soon as he was gone, I felt Madison’s body relax next to mine. She had been holding her breath for who knew how long. It came back heavy, making her chest rise and fall rapidly.
“You okay?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” Matt and I stared back at her wh
ile she caught her breath, just making sure she didn’t lose it and start crying. “I’m giving the baby up for adoption.” Matt and I both looked the same, eyebrows high in surprise. “I can’t have an abortion, but I’m not ready to be a mom. This baby can have a good life, even if it’s not with me.”
I smiled at her. “You’ve been to the doctor?”
She nodded. “Baby is okay, growing strong.” She looked back at us, smiling shyly. “Thank you, guys, for your help.”
“No thanks needed,” Matt assured her. “Let me know if he gives you any more trouble.”
“I will.” She bent down and picked her bag off the floor. “I’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you guys later.”
She was almost down the hall when a thought came into my mind. “Madison!” She turned back around, giving me her attention. “Do you want to have lunch with us?”
A sense of calm reached her eyes like I was relieving her worry. “Yeah, thanks.”
Lunch came and everyone was talking about Madison and Aiden. Rumors were flying, some halfway accurate and some the farthest thing from the truth. I hated this for Madison. If anyone knew what it was like to have everyone talk about you, it was me.
I waited for her at my locker, not wanting her to have to walk past everyone on her own. I’d been there too, it wasn’t fun. I linked our arms together and we were on our way.
Everyone in the cafeteria stared. Not just at her but at me too. It wasn’t a secret that Madison and I weren’t friends anymore. But she needed a friend now more than ever. And not a friend like Ashleigh, an actual decent friend.
“What the hell, Madison?”
Madison and I turned around from the drink station and came face to face with Ashleigh, hands on her hips and nothing but shock on her face.
“What?” Madison turned back around and finished pouring her water. I had to hand it to her, she was taking this better than I thought she would’ve.
“What do you mean what?” Ashleigh hollered. People around us started to gawk. “How could you not tell me you’re pregnant?”
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