by Mars Gravity
Today, she had not only dragged him back from the borders of death, she had even taken the initiative to recognize him as her brother and become his family, giving him a new home again.
No one knew that her every word and action had such a profound effect on his very soul. It was as if a raging blizzard had blown through his icy world.
He was caught up in a fantasy that he did not dare believe in… but after that Fen Juechen drew back in fright, his body shrinking backwards as he shook his head vigorously, “No, it can’t be… it shouldn’t be like this, you’re definitely… definitely doing this so that I will stop going after Yun Che’s life…”
Xiao Lingxi replied in a very forceful tone, “Big Brother Fen, every single word that I have said, and the vow that I have just made, has come from the bottom of my heart! If… if it was because of Little Che, why would I get Big Brother Under Heaven to bring you back…”
“No, you don’t understand!” Fen Juechen shook his head even more vigorously, his eyes closing shut as his face was filled with pain, “Right now, I’ve become… a devil, a devil who is filled with sin and only lives for vengeance, you can’t understand this… you can’t understand at all!”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand!!” Xiao Lingxi shouted, “Big Brother Fen, do you still remember how, for the sake of protecting me four years ago, you suffered a broken arm at the hands of your brother Fen Juecheng? Yet you still refused to let go of him… This is something that I, Xiao Lingxi, will remember for the rest of my life. So how can someone like this be a devil!?
“During your time in Floating Cloud City, I always thought that you were constantly suffering. You made yourself cold and cruel, and you even called yourself a devil… But you did all of this for the sake of avenging your family. A true ‘devil’ is someone that is selfish and brutal. How could a true devil give up his own humanity for the sake of his dead relatives and plunge himself into a world of pain!?
“I am afraid of the danger that you pose to Little Che… but what I am even more sure of is that from start to finish, you have been blameless and you have only ever been a victim this entire time. At the very least, you are definitely not the villain that you make yourself out to be…”
“No… do not speak any further.” Xiao Lingxi’s words did not put him at ease, on the contrary, his expression grew even more tortured as he clutched both hands to his head, “You don’t understand, you really don’t understand… I really have become a devil…
“I don’t have the right to be treated this way by you!”
“Whether you possess the qualifications or not is not something that Big Brother Fen can say.” Xiao Lingxi replied in a soft voice as she shook her head, “For me, the word ‘family’ is sacred. In my entire life, the only family I have ever had was Father, Little Che and the newly-returned Xiao Yun. I have never ever once thought of calling someone who was unrelated to me by blood family. But Big Brother Fen isn’t the same… When the Divine Phoenix Army descended on our Floating Cloud City, it was Big Brother Fen who protected us and protected the home where Little Che and I grew up in. So to me, Big Brother Fen is not only a good person and my benefactor, he is also a true hero!”
Fen Juechen, “…..”
“So, I will always respect and feel a sense of intimacy with Big Brother Fen. If Big Brother Fen is willing to become my elder brother, then we can rely on one another, and protect our family together. To me, that will be a most fortunate event that will bring incomparable joy to my heart. If Big Brother Fen rejects me, I will definitely be very sad and despondent.”
Fen Juechen’s body trembled as it froze in place. He stood there, stock still, his eyes glazed over, as if he had become a statue.
“But it seems like Big Brother Fen does not want to be part of my family.” Xiao Lingxi raised her head and looked at him, her eyes clouded by sadness and loss.
“I… I…” Under her unrelenting gaze, the man, who had caused a Divine Phoenix Army that was two hundred thousand strong to tremble in fear and had filled Yun Che with a profound dread, was all of a sudden at a loss for words as he was completely flustered.
“Anyways…” Xiao Lingxi said as she laughed once more. Her blossoming smile caused the world in front of Fen Juechen to explode in light, “I have said all I have wanted to say, and I’ve even sworn such a venomous curse. So I don’t care if Big Brother Fen is unwilling to accept this little sister of yours, because he will always be an elder brother to me from now on! From now on the Xiao Clan will always be Big Brother Fen’s home, and this room will always be yours as well. When Big Brother Fen is at home, I will take care of Big Brother Fen as if he were my own elder brother, and I’ll share both the good and the bad with Big Brother Fen from now on!”
“However, if Big Brother Fen does something wrong, as your younger sister, I will not hesitate to criticize and correct you!!”
Without waiting for Fen Juechen’s reply, Xiao Lingxi stood up, a pretty and coquettish smile appearing on her face, “It’s decided then! Big Brother Fen is badly wounded right now, so no matter what, you can’t resist me! So…”
“Give me a moment, I’ll be back straight away!”
Xiao Lingxi finished her little monologue and immediately scampered away… but before long, she pushed open the doors yet again and she carried a set of clean gray-white clothes in her hands.
“Big Brother Fen, all of the clothes that you were wearing are tattered and torn, and they’re really stinky too. Put on some clean clothes first. Big Brother Fen isn’t used to relying on other people and it looks like you’ve already recovered quite a bit of strength, so you can definitely wear these clothes by yourself. I won’t ask Big Brother Under Heaven to come and help.” She said as she smiled merrily, gently placing the clothes into Fen Juechen’s hands, “Right, these are Little Che’s old clothes, so they should fit rather well.”
When Fen Juechen, whose heart was numbed by his internal turmoil, heard the two words “Yun Che”, a violent emotion instinctively stirred in his heart, “Yun… Che!?”
“Yes!” Xiao Lingxi paid no attention at all to the irregularity in Fen Juechen’s voice and aura and she still smiled sweetly as she replied, “These are the clothes he left behind before he left the last time, and I just laundered them not too long ago. I know that Big Brother Fen truly hates Little Che, but the clothes didn’t do anything wrong. A mighty person like Big Brother Fen definitely shouldn’t be so petty that he won’t even let a set of clothes off… I’ll go and boil up a new batch of medicine, so Big Brother Fen needs to be good and wear these clothes. I’ll be back once the medicine has finished boiling.”
Xiao Lingxi gave a gentle smile as she turned around to leave, closing the door behind her.
The world had suddenly fallen into a dead silence, and Fen Juechen felt his heart beating in his chest with such clear intensity.
He sat there blankly for a very long time, before finally stretching out a hand towards the clothes beside him.
The clothes were folded in a neat and tidy manner, they were completely clean and one could still smell a faint fragrance emanating from them.
These were the clothes of the person he hated the most, Yun Che, and he hated him so much that he hated everything associated with him… he should have been completely repulsed by them, tearing these clothes into shreds and going into a simmering rage. But… at this moment, his heart was bereft of any rage or killing intent when he held them in his hands. Even the act of picking up the clothes was subconsciously done in a careful and gentle manner.
…………
“With the heavens as my witness, I, Xiao Lingxi, take Big Brother Fen as my elder brother… from now on, I am part of Big Brother Fen’s family and my home has also become Big Brother Fen’s family…
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand… I am afraid of the danger that you pose to Little Che… but what I am even more sure of is that from start to finish, you have been blameless throughout, and you have only e
ver been a victim the entire time. At the very least, you are definitely not the villain that you make yourself out to be…
“…So to me, Big Brother Fen is not only a good person and my benefactor, he is also a true hero!”
“If Big Brother Fen is willing to become my elder brother… To me, that would be the happiest and most fortunate thing…”
“I don’t care if Big Brother Fen is unwilling to accept this little sister of yours, because he will always be an elder brother to me from now on! From now on the Xiao Clan will always be Big Brother Fen’s home…”
…………
Xiao Lingxi’s voice, her every word, and her every action, resounded in his heart again and again as it rippled across every corner of his soul.
Drip…
The soft sound of dripping water was exceedingly clear in this quiet space. Fen Juechen dazedly hung his head… and a damp moistness began to silently spread to the corners of the gray clothes in his hands.
Te… ars…
He extended a trembling finger and touched his face… his fingertips coming into contact with a long trail of wetness…
Tears…
I had clearly already become a devil that had erased all traces of his humanity and emotion, a devil that was only left with sin and vengeance…
Why… do I still have tears…
His fingers were trembling, but his soul was shuddering with even more ferocity. He did not recognize the emotion that filled his soul right now. The only thing that he was aware of were the tears dripping uncontrollably down his face. He could not stop them…
So it turns out that I… could still be… “human”, huh…
————————————————
alyschu: Yes, some of the “flashbacks” from the last chapter were reworded for some reason known only to the author…
Chapter 764: The Approaching Devil Sword Conference
“Big Brother Fen, the medicine is ready… but I’m going to say this first! This time you better not throw it away petulantly, because if you do, I’m really going to get angry with you!”
Xiao Lingxi pushed the door open as she strode into the room. The medicine in her hand was still boiling so the first thing she did was place the medicine on the little table in front of the door. When she looked at Fen Juechen she discovered that he had already changed his clothes and was standing… Even though his aura was rather weak and his face was pale, he still stood very straight.
Xiao Lingxi’s eyes lit up and she crowed with joy, “Big Brother Fen, it seems like you’re already able to stand up, that’s great!”
No one would have thought that it was possible for Fen Juechen’s heart to have gone through such a tumultuous change in the short period between Xiao Lingxi’s departure and return. Xiao Lingxi’s figure appeared once more in his sight, and nervousness, an emotion that would not have appeared in front of anyone else, crept across the face of the usually calm Fen Juechen as he stuttered, “Xiao Lingxi, I…”
“You’re not allowed to address me like that anymore!” Xiao Lingxi said in a serious tone, “Don’t forget, right now you’ve already become my elder brother, so you need to call me sister, or… you can just call me Lingxi if you like. The three words Xiao Lingxi are far too distant.”
“Hm… these clothes really fit you very well, it is practically as if they were measured and made just for you.” Xiao Lingxi said with a smile as her eyes roamed across Fen Juechen’s body, “But that’s to be expected, because your figure has always been very similar to that of Little Che’s. When I think about it, besides your figure, there are many other similarities that you share with him.”
“I am similar to… Yun Che?” Fen Juechen said in a daze.
Xiao Lingxi raised eyes which were filled with astonishment. This was because Fen Juechen did not give off a bone-chilling, icy-cold murderous aura at the mention of the name “Yun Che”. She gave a light nod of her head, “Yes, you really resemble him in many ways. For example, normally Little Che is a very gentle and warm person, but when he goes up against people who want to harm those who are important to him, he becomes very extreme, just like Big Brother Fen who has been consumed with the desire for vengeance. Also, he has an extremely strong ego. He is very obsessive about things that he wants to do, and he will always bear the burden for every single thing… these are the areas where the both of you are alike.”
Fen Juechen, “…”
“Actually, Little Che recently told me that he did not regret doing what he did four years ago. Yet at the same time, he had always felt some remorse when it came to you. He said that given your personality, not killing you all those years ago was actually far crueler than the alternative. And now, even when he had the chance to kill you, he was unable to bring himself to do the actual deed. If there is any way he can make it up to you, he will definitely do all that he can to make it so.”
“…” Fen Juechen’s arms began to tremble violently.
“Big Brother Fen, I know that asking you to set aside your desire for vengeance is a very selfish thing indeed. After all, you lost all of your relatives. But… but you are clearly such a good person, and Little Che is also such a good person as well. The past can’t be changed anymore, so does it mean that one of you has to die before this matter can reach its ultimate resolution? Is there truly not a slight… not a slight possibility that this does not need to come to pass?”
Fen Juechen raised his arm, and it was as if his gaze penetrated his flesh, and that he was looking at his ice-cold blood which was far darker than a normal person’s, “In order to kill Yun Che, I have paid an enormous price to attain the power that I have today. If I just give up like this… what is the worth of this power that I have given up everything to attain…?”
“Oh, it’s really simple.” Xiao Lingxi said in a soft voice, “Great power need not only be used for vengeance, it can also be used to protect the people that you desire to protect.”
“Pro…tect…”
“That’s right!” Xiao Lingxi said as a faint smile bloomed across her face, “Like Big Brother Fen, Little Che has always been diligently pursuing strength, but the reason he is chasing after strength is not to be able to be victorious in battle, it is so that he can protect the people that he wants to protect, and keep them from coming to any harm. This is also why he chose the heavy sword as his weapon, it is also for the sake of ‘protecting’. So Big Brother Fen can use his own power to protect the ones that he wants to protect… Besides, Big Brother Fen is already so powerful, the ones who are being protected by Big Brother Fen will definitely feel very safe and happy.”
Xiao Lingxi slowly raised her eyes and her starry pupils expanded to form two delicate moons, “And I don’t know if I can also have the privilege of being someone that Big Brother Fen wants to protect? Heh… if that’s possible, then not only will I have Little Che’s protection, but I will also have Big Brother Fen watching over me. Just the thought of this makes me feel like I’m the most fortunate person in the entire world.”
Protect…
My power does not only need to be used for vengeance, it can also be used to… protect her…
Fen Juechen placed a hand on his chest and the evil and icy-cold power that resided in his body, the power that caused even him to feel fear and disgust, suddenly felt rather warm…
“If… I kill Yun Che, will you still be willing to accept my protection?” Fen Juechen mumbled.
Xiao Lingxi did not shake her head, but she did not nod her head either. She merely replied in a soft but resolute tone, “If Little Che is no longer around, then I won’t tarry on this earth for much longer either.”
Fen Juechen, “…!!”
Xiao Lingxi closed her eyes and said in a very soft voice, “Little Che is the person who grew up together with me and he is also the person that treats me the best. In my entire life, almost every single happy thing that has happened to me has occurred because of him. So to me, Little Che is like half of my
life. In fact, he is the more important half, so if he isn’t around… then I will never be able to experience happiness ever again.”
“Three years ago, when I received the news of his death, I desired to accompany him as well… but I still had my dear father, so I could not leave him to fend for himself. But right now, Xiao Yun has returned, so now that he is around to accompany father, if anything ever happens to Little Che, I can have peace of mind when I go to accompany him.”
“…” Fen Juechen’s breathing had become rough and heavy, his hand tightened strongly and it seemed as if he was going to rip the flesh off his chest. He recalled the time that he had spent in Floating Cloud City, and during that period, he had seen Lingxi everyday, but he had never seen her smile even once. Her face had been etched with a sorrow and despondency which seemed like it could never be erased.
During the times he had visited Floating Cloud City after Yun Che had returned alive, he no longer saw the sorrow on her face anymore. Instead it had been replaced by a gentle happiness and a warm smile, as if her life had already been completely fulfilled, and she no longer had any regrets in this life.
“Okay… I promise you that from now on, I… will no longer try to kill him.”
The words that had come from his mouth resounded in their souls like peals of heavenly thunder. Xiao Lingxi’s head jerked up violently and her eyes began trembling violently as well, “Big Brother Fen, you… what did you just say? You just… what you said… is… is it true?”
Fen Juechen had thought that saying these words would cause him incomparable pain, but the moment the words had left his lips, it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off his chest instead. Lingxi’s face was filled with astonished joy and disbelief, a deep sense of satisfaction appeared in her heart.