by J. H. Croix
Knowing she’d been there probably less than an hour ago was like a kick to my gut. Even though I’d gone out of my way to avoid running into her, a corner of my heart had been clinging to the hope I would.
Sarah must’ve heard me and came out from the back room with a forced smile on her face, drawing my attention away from Marie’s station. “Jeremy, thank you for coming.”
“Of course. When a client calls, especially an old friend of Doc’s, we come running. What’s up?”
Doc, my boss, had known Sarah for a long time. He’d told me to take good care of her renovations. It was the first job we’d started since he’d decided to semi-retire a couple of weeks ago. I hoped that whatever she wanted to talk about, I’d be able to help her clear it up.
Her smile softened, but worry lines creased the skin around her eyes and her posture was tense as she folded her arms over her chest. “I… I’m sorry to have to do this, but I’m going to have to delay the renovation. I spoke to the girl who helps me with the books. We can pay you for the work you’ve already done, but we’re going to need some time to come up with the rest.”
Payment issues were not unheard of in my line of work. I knew clients were always eager for us to get the job done, but unfortunately their budgets didn’t always agree with their plans. A sympathetic smile lifted the corners of my lips. “That’s okay. I understand, Doc will too. We’ll come back as soon as you give the word.”
“Thank you, Jeremy. I appreciate it. I’m sorry about this.”
“Don’t be.” I told her, though I could see my words weren’t helping. There was only one thing I could do that could possibly help her, but I wasn’t sure she’d go for it. “I could talk to some of our suppliers about extending credit, if you’d like?”
Sarah waved her hand, shaking her head sadly. “No, I couldn’t do that. I have no problem asking for help from people that I know, but strangers? I couldn’t.”
“I get it. You just let me know when you’re ready for us to carry on.”
“I’ll do that. Thanks again.” She rounded the reception desk she’d been leaning against and walked toward the front entrance.
Turning to follow her, I stopped when we were almost at the door. “Before I leave, I was hoping to talk to you about Marie.”
Her head snapped up, her eyes finding mine. They narrowed slightly before she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She looked tired suddenly. “What about her?”
I was taken aback by her tone, but I didn’t show it. Sarah must’ve realized how abrupt she’d sounded, because her lips curled into a bashful smile and her shoulders relaxed. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried about her. I know the two of you have been out a few times. I shouldn’t have been caught off guard by your question.”
“You’re protective of her, I understand that.” I paused for a beat, waiting for Sarah to say something else. When she didn’t, I reached for the doorjamb and looked into her eyes. I needed her to see that I cared about Marie too, that I was also only worried. “We had plans on Friday. She called to cancel and I haven’t heard from her since, so I’m a little worried about her. Do you know why she might’ve canceled?”
It was Sarah’s turn to give me a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. She didn’t say anything to me today about that.”
She knew something though. I could see it in her eyes. She wasn’t going to fill me in, I could see that too. Sarah was trying to protect Marie, or at least she thought she was.
A surge of gratitude shot through me. My own protective urges had been kicking into overdrive when it came to Marie.
I wouldn’t have needed help protecting her, if she’d have let me near her.
Knowing that Sarah got to be around her everyday, while I’d been shut out, hurt a little, but it was comforting at the same time. “Will you at least tell me if she’s okay?”
“She’s okay,” Sarah said softly. “She left to pick Austin up at daycare a little while ago. That’s all I can tell you.”
“Thanks, Sarah. I’ll see you around, okay?” At that, I gave her a brief wave as I left the salon.
“See you around,” Sarah called out after me, the door to her salon clicking closed after I stepped onto the sidewalk.
Back in my truck, I pointed it in the direction of home. It’d been a long day, but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to end when I got there. Frustration simmered in my stomach, tensing my muscles and making the drive to my house seem way too long.
I needed something to ease the tension bundled inside, to blow off some steam. There might have been better options, but the punching bag in my garage would do the trick.
This situation with Marie was making my skin crawl and my heart pound when I thought about it for too long, which was all the time. Hearing what Sonny had to say about Marie’s abusive ex put me all the way on edge Friday and now I was dangling there, feeling as if I was hanging on with my fingertips.
This feeling was counter-intuitive to me. I faced shit head on, I always had. This was the first time I had to consider someone else’s feelings about the storm facing me. Whatever battle Marie was fighting with her ex, she was going at it alone and deliberately shutting me out.
I hated that. I hated worrying about her as much as I was, but I couldn’t stop it. Add Austin into the mix and I was practically fucking combustible. Even knowing she wasn’t in there, I looked up into my rearview mirror for a last glimpse of the salon before I turned on the road.
A car was following me as I pulled out. A green SUV I’d vaguely noticed parking a few spaces behind me at the salon, and now it was behind me again. My gut coiled, sensing something was off. Seeing an intersection coming up, I checked the lane next to mine and made an abrupt right when I was in the clear.
When I checked again, the same car was still behind me. Adrenaline shot through me, not as potent as it had been on Friday, but alarm bells were ringing. Knowing the extent of bad history with Marie’s ex, I wouldn’t put much past him. I pumped my brakes, slowing down to try see the driver of the car.
It swerved to avoid me, slowing for just a second before gunning it and taking off down the street. Dark tinted windows stopped me from being able to see inside.
Instinct kicked in. Slamming my foot down onto the gas, I took off after the car, my tires squealing as I rounded a corner at the end of the street.
Sonny’s warnings about Marie’s ex spun through my thoughts. The man was dangerous and had been stalking Marie and Austin for a few years now. He was obsessed with her. Sonny warned me that the situation was volatile, that he was volatile.
That and that alone made me ease up on the gas. Not because I was scared or worried about myself, but because of Marie and for Austin. I didn’t need to be stupid and escalate the situation.
The coward was more likely to take it out on her than to face me based on what Sonny had said. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do anything that might jeopardize their safety.
Watching the car as it peeled away and down a side street, I was itching to go after it. After him. My gut was telling me that it was him, Marie’s ex. Wesley something or other.
I’d learned to trust my gut a long time ago, but there was also a possibility this wasn’t her ex. My father had warned me to watch out for myself. I’d filed his warning away, but it rose to the surface of my thoughts now. On the off chance that whoever was following me was connected to my father, I had no doubt they would be back. I could face them another day, preferably one when I knew that both Marie and Austin were safe and out of harm’s way.
She’d asked me not to contact her and I wouldn’t, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t just check in on things. Marie’s apartment building was coming up on my left shortly.
I wouldn’t be able to see much from the street, but at least I’d be able to check that neither the car from earlier nor the van from last week were parked outside.
Marie
“Mommy! Are you okay in there?” Austin called out, banging on the bathroom doo
r with a small fist.
I cracked it open, pulling my toothbrush from my mouth and trying to give him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, sweetheart. I thought you were getting ready to go? I’m just brushing my teeth, I’ll be right out.”
Getting myself ready for work and Austin ready for day care was a daunting task most days, but this morning was more intense than ever. Austin was picking up on my stress about the situation with Wesley, and he was anxious and tense about it. He’d been that way all weekend.
I suppressed a shudder, thinking back at the note I’d found tucked under my windshield wiper last Friday. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t thought Wesley couldn’t track us down. I supposed I’d hoped he wouldn’t put the effort into it. I’d considered going somewhere else altogether, but this was the only place where I had friends to rely on.
One little note, just a few lines, had erased the comfort I’d started to settle into here in Cypress Creek. Wesley had threatened me, just like he had so many times before. This time he’d also gone even further, threatening Jeremy. I hadn’t even been seeing Jeremy for a month, and he was already in danger because of me.
I wanted to kick myself. I’d been such a fool to allow a man into my life with Austin. With Wesley out there, I’d known there were risks. He was crazy jealous, had been the entire time we were together. I’d placed both Austin and Jeremy in danger by getting involved with Jeremy.
Idiot.
Heeding Wesley’s warning, I’d called Jeremy and broken things off with him. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. We’d only been seeing each other for a short while, but Jeremy was unlike any man I’d been with before.
He was so much more than I ever could’ve imagined. Not only was he the ridiculously handsome, sexy guy I remembered from high school, but he was kind, smart, funny, and great with Austin. He made me feel genuinely cared for and protected.
I was starting to fall for him. Hard and fast.
Until Wesley had come along and put an abrupt stop to my budding relationship with Jeremy.
It was for the best though. I should never have started anything with him. He was innocent in all this. He didn’t deserve to have Wesley coming after him all because of me.
Austin kept peering up at me, staying rooted outside the bathroom door like he’d been planted there while my thoughts rushed through my head. Opening the door wider with my foot, I jerked my head for him to follow me inside and quickly finished my morning routine before taking him back to his room.
“I’m really fine, buddy. Did you need something? Why did you come find me?” I asked as we crossed our small apartment. Austin tucked his hand into mine, his small fingers digging into me. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, wishing I could do more to reassure him while silently cursing Wesley.
“I can’t find my jacket,” he said, his lip quivering slightly. “I put it somewhere last night and now I can’t find it.”
Tears shone in eyes and his voice was thin, shaking with emotion. He was usually such a tough little boy who prided himself on being able to be a good boy and taking care of things. He wasn’t one to almost break down over not being able to find his jacket.
My heart ached to see him like this. Fucking Wesley. It wasn’t like I didn’t know the effect he had on Austin, but this illuminated it. Wesley never even considered how his behavior might affect Austin. He simply didn’t care, and it infuriated me. Austin was just another pawn in his game against me.
Sitting down on Austin’s bed, I pulled him closer, patting the bed to motion for him to sit next to me. “It’s okay, sweetie. It’s not a big deal, I’ll help you find your jacket in a second. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
I tapped his temple with my index finger, smiling encouragingly. His brow crumpled as he stared up at me, unmasked pain in his green eyes. It freaking killed me to know that what was going on between me and Wesley was causing Austin so much hurt. A sob rose from deep down inside, but I choked it back.
“I know you’re scared, mommy,” he finally whispered, blinking back tears. “It scares me too.”
“Oh hon, don’t be scared. You’re going to be okay. We’re both going to be okay.” Pulling him closer in a hug, I whispered comforting words to him until I felt him relax.
Once Austin was calm, he got dressed while I looked for his jacket. I found it behind the coat rack near the front door where it must have slipped from its hook.
Jacket in hand, we headed off for the day. Austin was quiet on the way to day care, clearly chewing something over in his head. I waited patiently, my eyes getting slightly misty when he finally came out with it.
“How come we haven’t seen Jeremy recently, mommy? He said we’d see him this weekend.” He sounded so sad. It was obvious he thought yet another male in his life had disappointed him, lied to him and abandoned him.
I bit my tongue, frustrated not only that Austin had to relive those feelings yet again, but also that all those negative feelings were now because of a man who had only ever been kind to him. Once again, my thoughts looped back to Wesley, whose threats were the reason I had to shut Jeremy out of our lives. It was incredible how much pain Wesley kept causing in our lives.
Wesley had managed to ruin yet another thing that could’ve been good for Austin and me. I missed Jeremy like crazy, and it was obvious Austin missed him too. It’d taken me years, but I’d finally found a man I could trust.
Now I couldn’t be with Jeremy because being with him put him at risk. I couldn’t believe that despite everything I’d done, Wesley still managed to take that away from me.
A tight knot of unshed tears was forming in my throat as I thought about it all. Emotional and on edge as I was, I nearly missed it, but there was a car following us.
Near crippling fear gripped at my heart, a cold numbness washing through me as my heart thudded, fast and shallow, in my chest. Austin was watching me carefully. I forced myself to school my expression to calm as I pulled up to Austin’s day care.
“Here we are,” I said cheerily. Austin looked dubious, but he took my hand when I offered to help him out of the car. “How about I walk you in today?”
Austin brightened up, tugging on my hand. “Okay, mommy.”
It took everything I had not to look over my shoulder as we headed into the daycare. Or when I came out and headed to work, but I wasn’t going to give Wesley the satisfaction—if he was watching.
Even if he wasn’t, I did it for myself. To prove to myself that I could push him aside and go about my life. There was only so much I’d let him steal from me.
It was empowering to square my shoulders and shove Wesley aside, so I kept doing it on my way to work. I refused to look into the rearview mirror even once. He was probably there, probably still following me, but fuck him.
Sarah was waiting for me when I got to the salon, rushing over as soon as she saw me.
A client was already waiting on each of us, but Sarah had settled them with coffee and called out as she linked her arm through mine and led me to the back, “We’ll be right back, we’re just going to make some coffee for ourselves. No one wants a half asleep stylist!”
The clients giggled their agreement. I smiled apologetically at my client just before Sarah pulled me off the floor. “What’s going on with you?” She released my arm, planting her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down.
Lifting a shoulder, I shrugged. “What are you talking about?”
“Jeremy Lovett came by yesterday.”
The mere mention of Jeremy’s name kicked my pulse up a notch. “Okay?”
“He’s worried about you,” she told me, her eyes locked on mine. “I think he cares about you.”
Sadly, despite all the doubts crowding my mind, I believed her. And because he didn’t deserve the shitshow of my past, I had to stay away from him. I didn’t want to burden Sarah with all my Wesley issues, or god forbid put a target on her back as well, so I kept quiet.
She wasn’t going to be deterred that easily
though. “He’s a good man, sweetheart. Don’t shut him out. Whatever happened, talk to him about it. I’m sure he would understand.”
“I can’t.” It was tearing me up thinking about Jeremy, hearing from Sarah that he was worried about me and that he cared. But it didn’t change a thing.
I couldn’t even tell Sarah the full story about just how bad things had really gotten with Wesley, so other than telling her that I couldn’t talk about it, all I could do was keep quiet. She was waiting for me to explain my answer, concern swimming in her eyes.
When I didn’t say anything to clarify my answer, she sighed and turned towards the coffee cart behind her. “I don’t know why you think you can’t talk to him. For what it may be worth, I think you’re wrong. Whatever it is, Jeremy’s a big boy, he can handle it. He may even be able to help you. But it’s your business.”
She smiled kindly, fixing each of our coffees and patting my arm when she handed me mine. “Take a minute, and I’ll see you out there, okay?”
Whisking up her cup, she pushed her way past the makeshift door to the back room, leaving me alone for the time being. I set my coffee down to rub my hands over my face, only then realizing my cheeks were damp from my tears.
A sob of frustration caught in the back of my throat as I swiped at my tears and tried to stem their flow—an entirely useless effort. The more I tried not to cry, the more the tears welled up and rolled down my cheeks.
Great. Just great.
I didn’t need a mirror to know I’d smeared my make-up. I probably looked like a sad raccoon. I just couldn’t bring myself to give a damn. Not right now.
I’d been a bundle of nerves and emotion all weekend, and I was beyond weary of feeling so strung out.
Wesley hadn’t so much as spoken to me, yet he sure knew how to get to me. I knew what he was doing was tantamount to abuse, but it’d never been clearer to me than it was right now. He wasn’t even here, but he’d parked himself in my head and was lobbing potshots to make sure I’d be miserable. It had felt like such an achievement to break free of him. I’d thought by scrounging up the nerve to leave him, I’d be free. No such luck. Even from a distance, he still managed to wreak havoc in my life.