A Nest of Sparrows

by Deborah Raney

  She smiled and pushed back her chair, then rose and dipped her head before looking up at Wade. “I…I know this has been a very difficult time for you. It…takes some adjusting. I’m sure it will all work out, but…I’m sorry, Wade, you have to start getting here before six o’clock. I can’t keep making an exception for you. And besides, it makes an awful long day for the kids.”

  Wade nodded, feeling like a child who’d been slapped on the wrist. “I know. And I’m sorry. I haven’t been fair to you. Or the kids…”

  “We’ll see you next week, then.” She bent to shuffle some papers on her desk and looked pointedly toward the door.

  He stood, acknowledging her dismissal with a nod. He guided Beau out the door, and they went to gather the girls from the playroom.

  On the way out of town, Wade stopped at the drive-thru at McDonald’s and ordered cheeseburgers to take home. The kids sat like robots in the backseat. They didn’t even try to talk him into French fries or milkshakes.

  When they got the car unloaded at home, he gave out assignments. The kids did their chores without complaint, and dinner was eaten in silence. Wade kept an eye on the clock and tried to think what would be an appropriate punishment. He knew what Starr would have done. She would have made Beau miss his ballgame. But it killed him to think of it. Truth was, he was as excited as Beau about the scrimmage. Before things got so crazy, he’d practiced for hours with Beau on the wobbly hoop outside the garage, passing the ball and working on shooting drills.

  But the more he thought about it, the more he knew it was important for Beau to acknowledge that what he’d done was serious, and that it would cost him something valuable. Besides they were already going to be late.

  Wade helped the kids clear the table, and while they put the dishes in the dishwasher––as much as it killed him––he went to call Beau’s coach.

  Chapter 11

  Wade was exhausted. It had been another long day at work. He’d talked Sophie into keeping the kids on her only night off, and he and Pete worked till almost dark, trying to finish a roof before they got rained out.

  It was already past bedtime when he picked the kids up from Sophie’s, and they had been fighting like bantam roosters ever since. The kitchen sink overflowed with dirty dishes, and the house was a virtual pigsty. Wade had tried without success to get the girls to clean up the dolls and hair ribbons strewn all around the dining room.

  Beau had forgotten to feed the dog again. Wade sent him out to take care of Shadow while he attempted to herd two whiney towheads up to bed. He shot a quick prayer heavenward. “Don’t let me kill anybody tonight, Lord.” He prayed loud enough so the girls could hear him. And he tried not to let their raised eyebrows and exchanged glances get to him.

  “But, Wade, I still have to finish my homework.” Lacey’s shrill soprano grated on his last nerve.

  “You should have thought of that while you were watching TV all night,” he barked.

  “But if I don’t turn it in tomorrow, I’ll have to stay after.”

  “Then you’ll have to stay after.”

  Lacey stomped a bare foot on the hardwood floor. “You’re mean!”

  “Sorry you feel that way. Now get moving.”

  Dani raced up the stairs and stood at the top of the landing watching them. Wade put his hands on Lacey’s shoulders and pointed her in the same direction. He heard the back door slam and the shuffle of Beau’s tennis shoes on the kitchen tile. “Come up right away, Beau.”

  “I know, I know. I’m coming.” He muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

  Had the kids acted like this with Starr? He couldn’t remember. He tried to conjure up her image and failed. The realization pierced his heart. She hadn’t been gone three months, and already he’d lost the nuances of her smile, her voice.

  “Isn’t she, Wade?” Dani’s voice broke through his morose thoughts.

  “What?” he snapped, immediately sorry when he saw her mouth turn down in a frown. “What did you say, Dani?”

  “Isn’t Lacey going to get in trouble if she does her homework in bed?”

  “That’s none of your business, Dani.” He ushered the girls into the bathroom. “Now quit being a tattletale and brush your teeth.”

  Dani folded her arms across her chest and stuck out her bottom lip.

  Oh, good. Now he had all three of them mad at him.

  He got the messy, well-squeezed tube of toothpaste out of the medicine cabinet and handed it to Lacey. “You ladies brush your teeth. I’ll go see if Beau is ready for bed.”

  As if on cue, Beau burst into the bathroom.

  “Hey!” Lacey and Danica shrieked in unison.

  “Get out, Beau! We were in here first,” Lacey said, giving her brother a shove.

  “So? You don’t own the bathroom.” Beau shoved back.

  Wade stepped between the two camps. “Cut it out, you two. Beau, why don’t you go get your PJs on first, and then you can have the bathroom to yourself.”

  Beau rolled his eyes and started out of the room, but a split second later, he popped his head back in. “Wade, I––”

  Lacey lunged for the door and tried to slam it on her brother. Wade yanked her by the arm and pulled her away, but at that same moment, Beau hurled his weight at the other side. The wooden plane of the door swung into the bathroom with full force. The room exploded with a popping sound. Wade didn’t realize what had caused the noise until he saw Dani lying in a heap on the floor, the pale green carpet turning red beneath her head.

  Lacey screamed.

  Beau clapped his hands over his mouth. “I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to,” he cried, his eyes as big as saucers, his voice climbing an octave. “It was an accident. Honest.”

  “Get out of the way!” Wade shouted. The children stood motionless between him and Dani. He pushed them aside and knelt on the floor beside her. By now she was moaning softly. Wade had never been so grateful to hear a child’s cry. “Dani? Are you okay, honey?”

  He knew head wounds often bled profusely, but he didn’t like the size of the crimson stain beneath her. Turning her over, he tried not to gasp. Her whole face was covered in blood. Its brackish scent pricked his nose. As one, Beau and Lacey inhaled sharp breaths. Lacey started to cry.

  “Hey,” Wade whispered, locking eyes with Beau. “Take Lacey with you and go get me one of those extra large Band-Aids out of my medicine cabinet downstairs.”

  “Is she gonna die, Wade?” Lacey’s voice quivered.

  “No. She’s not going to die. Go on now. Help Beau find the Band-Aids.”

  Wade reached up and grabbed a washcloth from the towel rack. It was a fancy embroidered one that Starr had hung there just for looks. Starr would kill him for getting blood all over her nice linens. He winced at the absurd thought, immediately dismissing it. Oh, if only she were here to rake him over the coals for it. To tell him what to do. She would have known how to handle this.

  Cradling a whimpering Dani on his lap, he reached over the sink and ran warm water on the washcloth. He wrung it out as best he could and wiped off her face, trying to locate the wound. Pushing back a blood-soaked strand of blond hair from her pale forehead, he discovered an inch-long gash right at the hairline. He dabbed gingerly at the wound and cringed when it gaped open. A Band-Aid wasn’t going to do the trick this time. This definitely needed stitches.

  He heard a clatter on the stairway. Beau and Lacey rushed into the room, breathing hard. Beau held out a box of super-size bandages.

  Wade covered Dani’s forehead with the blood-soaked washcloth and tried to keep his voice level. “You guys go get your shoes on. I think we need to have the doctor take a look at Dani’s head.”

  The two stood still as stones, eyes glued to their sister.

  “Go on now. It’ll be okay, but Dani might need stitches.”

  It was the wrong thing to say. Beau and Lacey gasped and Dani cried harder.

  Wade pulled her close, barely aware that his white T-shirt
and the lap of his jeans were streaked with blood. “It’ll be okay, sweetie. I’ll stay with you while the doctor gets you all fixed up.” He turned to her siblings. “Beau. Lacey. Get your shoes and meet me in the car.”

  They raced out of the bathroom, and he heard their bare feet slapping on the wood floor in the hallway. He peeled the wrapper from a Band-Aid and laid it upside down on his denim-clad knee, but when he pulled the washcloth away to apply the bandage, blood immediately seeped from the wound and trickled into her eyes. He swabbed at her face and tried again, but finally he gave up on getting a bandage to stay. He pressed the washcloth to her head. “Here, sweetie.” He took her hand and placed it over the cloth. “Hold this here and don’t let go.”

  She complied without a word.

  “Hang on now.” Holding her close to his chest, he grabbed onto the sink with his other arm and pulled himself up. Cradling her against him, he went down the hallway and into the girls’ room. Lacey had one foot up on the edge of her bed, tying her tennis shoe.

  “Do you know where Dani’s jacket is?”

  Still working on a knot in her shoelace, Lacey motioned toward the rocking chair with her elbow. Wade pulled the little pink windbreaker from the arm of the chair, stood Dani in front of him, and helped her put her arms in the sleeves. The washcloth was almost soaked through with blood again.

  “Do I hafta get a shot, Wade?” Dani’s voice was thin and wavery.

  “I don’t know, honey. Let’s just wait and see what the doctor says. Everything will be okay.” He lifted her back into his arms and turned to Lacey. “Hurry up, Lace. We’ll be in the car, okay?”

  “I’m coming.” She picked up her other shoe and limped after him.

  Wade ran down the steps and headed out the back door with Lacey right behind him.

  Beau was already waiting in the car. “Is she gonna get a shot?”

  Wade shook his head pointedly and aimed daggers at Beau over the top of Dani’s head. He apparently got the message and slumped back into the seat.

  Wade slid Dani from his lap into the passenger seat and fastened her seatbelt, then checked to make sure Lacey was buckled in beside Beau.

  “You doing okay, Dani?” he asked as he flicked on his headlights and backed out of the drive.

  She only nodded, still clutching the washcloth tightly to her forehead, but Wade didn’t like the pallor of her skin or the blue tinge around her lips. He pressed harder on the accelerator.

  Chapter 12

  With Danica in his arms, Wade motioned for Beau and Lacey to sit in the row of uncomfortable-looking metal chairs in the waiting area outside the emergency room. The place was relatively quiet on a Tuesday night. An elderly man sat looking at magazines and checking his watch. A janitor pushed a dust mop down the corridor leading to the hospital proper. Behind wide double doors, Wade could hear a child crying over the whirr of some medical instrument. The calming voices of medical personnel floated beyond the pass-through at admissions.

  He carried Danica up to the admissions desk.

  The nurse glanced up from her computer. “Oh dear. What happened here?”

  “She was on the wrong side of a swinging door,” Wade said, offering the woman a grim smile.

  The nurse leaned over the desk. “Let’s see what we have.”

  Wade read her nametag: FAYE O’DONELL. Cradling Dani in his right arm, he gently removed the washcloth from her forehead.

  “Oh yes.” Nurse O’Donnell nodded dispassionately. “That will need a couple of stitches. It’s going to be a few minutes, though.

  Dani turned her face to his chest, whimpering. “I don’t wanna get stitches.”

  He stroked a hand over her hair. “Shhh…it’ll be okay.”

  The nurse thrust a clipboard into Wade’s free hand. “If you could fill out these forms while you wait. And I’ll need to make a copy of your insurance card.”

  “Um… She doesn’t have any insurance.”

  “Oh?”

  “She was insured under her mother’s policy but…” He looked at the floor. “Her mother…died.”

  “You haven’t transferred her to your policy yet, is that it?”

  Wade hesitated. He didn’t want to get into this with a stranger.

  “Maybe I’m misunderstanding,” the nurse said, as if reading his mind. “You’re her father, right?”

  “No…actually…I’m not.”

  “Oh.” The woman’s eyebrows shot up again, and her tone became brusque. “We will need to get permission from her parent or legal guardian before we can treat her.”

  Wade rubbed at a spot on the carpet with the toe of his boot. “I’m her guardian. I’ll give permission.” It wasn’t a lie. He was the kids’ guardian. As Pete had said, he was their father in every way that counted. He just hadn’t made it legal. He wondered how much they’d stick him for an emergency room visit.

  “How did you say this injury happened?” A note of suspicion had crept into the woman’s voice.

  From the fringe of his vision, Wade saw Beau stiffen. He looked at Beau and tried to communicate with the lift of his brow that he wasn’t going to rat on him. Beau’s narrow shoulders rose as he took in a deep breath, then bowed his head.

  “It was an accident,” Wade explained. “The kids were getting ready for bed, and Dani just happened to be standing in front of the bathroom door at the wrong time. It was an accident,” he repeated, not looking at Beau.

  The nurse gave no response as she rolled her chair back from the computer desk. With Dani still in his arms, he bent to watch through the low pass-through window as the nurse disappeared into a curtained alcove of the emergency room.

  Wade straightened and went to sit across from Lacey and Beau, who were quietly looking at magazines. Dani was limp in his arms, and he rubbed a hand over her cheek to assure himself she had only dozed off. He filled out the forms, then took the clipboard to the admissions desk.

  A few minutes later, Nurse O’Donnell stuck her head through the double doors. “You can bring her in now, Mr. Sullivan.”

  Brother and sister looked up at Wade expectantly.

  “You two be good out here now, you hear me? This might take a while. And stay put.”

  They nodded solemnly.

  Wade stood and Dani started awake and began to whimper. Carrying Dani in his arms, he followed the nurse through the doors and into one of the partitioned alcoves. She left them there without another word, closing the curtain behind her. A younger nurse came in to take Dani’s temperature and blood pressure. She allowed Dani to remain on Wade’s lap while she took her vitals and recorded the results.

  They waited another ten minutes before a young female physician peeked into the room. “Danica Parnell?”

  “Yes,” Wade replied. “Right here.” He held Dani out like an offering.

  “Why don’t you set her up here on the examining table.” The doctor’s nametag read SARAH WELLING, M.D. Wade didn’t think the girl could be a day over thirty. But he liked her bedside manner. Her smile was genuine as she knelt to meet Dani’s gaze.

  “May I take a look?” she asked Dani after glancing over the chart.

  Dani nodded warily and pulled the washcloth away from her forehead.

  The doctor inspected the wound. “Ooh, looks like that door got you good.”

  Dani nodded, warming to the young woman a bit.

  “Here, I’ll take that washrag. Ooh, that’s a fancy one.” Dr. Welling feigned irritation. “Did you have to grab the prettiest washcloth in the house, Daddy?”

  Dani grinned. Wade shrugged and smiled back, although the physician’s remark made him think again, painfully, of Starr.

  While the kind doctor lined Danica’s forehead with a neat row of spiderlike sutures, Wade let Starr’s daughter grip his hand until it hurt and scream until he didn’t think he could stand it. He let the guilt wash over him, knowing it was deserved. He tried without success to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth. I’m sorry, Starr. I’m so sorry… />
  Twenty-five minutes later, he and Dani emerged from the treatment room. She had a large bandage and a happy face sticker to show for her trouble, and Wade had the promise of a medical bill he’d be doing well to pay off before Christmas.

  The kids were all asleep in the backseat of the car by the time Wade pulled into the driveway.

  Wade carried Danica up and tucked her into bed. He sat a while, patting her back. She was asleep in minutes, her soft breathing a profound relief. He prayed sleep might come as easily for him.

  But it was not to be. After a hot shower, he settled in on the sofa bed in the den. The monstrous old Hide-a-bed was six inches too short for his tall frame, but it had been his “cot” since the day he’d started restoring this old house. The master bedroom upstairs sat empty and waiting for him to move into it, but he still couldn’t bring himself to occupy the room he should have shared with Starr for the rest of his life. The door remained closed on the four walls that bore Starr’s last ironic message to him: Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be. Even the thought of it mocked him now.

  Wade sighed in the darkness and trained his eyes on the high ceiling overhead. A tear slipped down his stubbly cheek, and for a moment he couldn’t think where the dampness had come from. He swiped at his face. How long would thoughts of Starr still bring him so quickly to tears?

  “Oh, Starr,” he whispered into the emptiness, “I’m failing miserably. I don’t know how to be a father to these kids. I need you. I need you so bad.” He turned his desperate plea into a silent prayer.

  The clock in the foyer chimed a muted bong, bong, bong… Midnight.

  Oh, God, help me. I miss her so much.

  “Couldn’t you give us at least a week, Karen?” Dee Thackery struggled to keep the desperation from her voice. “I honestly don’t know where the kids would go at this point. You know what a shortage we have––”

  She held the phone away from her ear as the caller cut her off with an unrelenting, desperate “no.”