“I don’t know. The next hearing isn’t until October, but if I had to make a recommendation today, yes, I think I’d vote for the fiancé. The kids just seem so much…happier with him. It’s not that I have anything against the birthfather. I think he really is trying, but it’s just so obvious the kids are more comfortable with Wade. That he’s far more of a dad in their eyes than their own father is. I mean, he’s practically raised them for the past three years.”
She stopped and waited for Clay’s response. Met with only silence, she went on. “I’ve gotten to know them surprisingly well. They just…they include me. We play cards and stuff––and the kids insist on dealing me in. Have you ever had a family like that, where they just sort of opened their arms and took you in? I’m so used to being the despised ‘observer’…but I’ve got to say this feels good, Clay. I wish there was a way it could always be like this…with our clients.”
He narrowed his eyes. “So I take it this happy, feel-good, ‘part of the family’ thing”––he drew quote marks in the air with long, slender fingers––“happens at this Wade character’s house?”
The cynical tone he’d taken raised her defenses. “It’s not just him. It’s the kids, too. It’s weird, but it’s like I’m––I don’t know…a favorite aunt or something.” She looked away, then back at Clay. “Have you ever felt like you were crossing the line with a client? You know, like you were becoming friends? Good friends?”
“Why?” He cocked his head. “Is that what’s happening?”
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Kind of. I mean, Wade and the kids are totally involved with each other when they’re together, but they just bring me in…into the circle like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I know it sounds strange, but it’s almost like I’m in the middle of it before I know how I got there. We talked about it one of the first times I took the kids out there. I was going to watch them play a card game, and Wade got all upset and said how they couldn’t interact naturally with an audience.” She took a deep breath. “I think he’s right, Clay. For the first time, I could imagine how awkward it would feel to be on the receiving end of what we do. And I truly don’t feel like I’m distracting from their time together.”
Clay shot her a look that said he was skeptical.
“I did say something about it to him––to Wade––this morning. I told him again that I really should just be observing. It ticked him off.”
“Well, sure it did.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Think about it, Dee. Either he’s buttering you up so you’ll go to bat for him with the judge, or he’s coming on to you. And by the starry look in your eyes, I’d bet on the latter.”
She glared at him––and hoped he’d mistake the heat she felt on her face for the pink neon sign that flashed outside the car window.
To her relief the carhop brought their drinks just then. Clay paid the girl and handed Dee her Coke and a straw, turning an accusing eye on her. “Well?”
She unwrapped her straw and took a long sip. “No, Clay. It’s not like that,” she said finally. “This guy…he’s not like most of the deadbeat dads we deal with. He’s really not. I can’t explain it, but he’s just…a nice guy. He’s a natural with the kids and they adore him. It’s so different than when they’re with their birthfather. Like night and day.”
He gave her a searching look. “Do you know how unlikely it is that this guy––this Wade––will end up with those kids, Dee?”
“I know. But haven’t you ever had a gut feeling about something?” She didn’t tell him how leery she’d been of Wade’s motives the first time she’d met him. But she knew him now. And she just couldn’t believe he was anything other than the caring, wonderful man she saw every week.
“I don’t know, Dee. It just…” He shook his head. “Never mind.”
“No. What? I want to hear your opinion, Clay. That’s why I brought it up.”
“You like the guy, don’t you?”
“I already said that. He’s great with the kids.”
“No. You know what I mean, Dee. I think it’s more than that. You can’t let this go anywhere, you know. You could lose your job.”
“I’m not letting anything happen. It’s not like that. I’m just saying what’s wrong with being friends with our clients? Just friends.”
“What’s wrong is, you can’t possibly be objective if you’re friends with one of the parties. Not to mention it could easily go further than mere friendship. Those safeguards are there for a reason, Dee.”
She nodded slowly. Of course, Clay was right. But how could she back off with Wade and the kids now, after they had such a great relationship? The very word––relationship––startled her, even as it entered her thoughts. She couldn’t have a relationship with Wade Sullivan. Not any kind of relationship. Not if she meant to honor the ethics of her profession.
“So you think I need to back off?” she asked, dreading what Clay might say.
His response surprised her. “Only you can say what you need to do, Dee. All I know is…well, I just wish I saw half the light in your eyes for me that I see there for Wade Sullivan.”
She turned away from his scrutiny and fidgeted with her straw. Finally, she muttered, “I don’t know what to say, Clay.”
He set his empty cup in the cup holder, buckled his seatbelt, and turned the key in the ignition. Dee straightened in her seat and fastened her own seatbelt.
When they were out on the street, headed back toward Dee’s apartment, Clay looked over at her. “You don’t have to say anything else, Dee. I’m sorry. I wasn’t a good one to broach this subject with. I have too much at stake personally to be giving you advice about who you should or shouldn’t love.”
“This isn’t about love, Clay.” She gave an exasperated sigh. “Man! How did this get so blown out of proportion?”
“I just calls ’em as I sees ’em,” he said, not looking at her.
She knew Clay was trying to smooth things over. It was their way. He always pushed and tried to get her to talk about “them,” when there was no them. She liked Clay a lot. But she wanted him for a friend and nothing more. Like Wade.
No. Not like Wade. Not like Wade at all. She knew Wade Sullivan better than any man she’d ever known. And he stood head and shoulders above all of them.
Even Clay. Maybe especially Clay, with whom she’d shared more of her life than any other man. But with Clay, as with any man who’d ever shown an interest in her, there had always been a certain tinge of fear. She’d always held back parts of herself, afraid of revealing her past. Fearful of allowing the relationship to go beyond friendship.
But Wade was different. Why was she suddenly thinking of him in a context beyond friendship? Was it because she couldn’t have a relationship with him? Had she subconsciously chosen him because it was forbidden for him to touch her?
Her question was answered by the startling realization that she longed for Wade Sullivan to touch her. To hold her in his arms. To kiss her. Heat rose to her cheeks at the thought. She’d never felt this way about any man.
She pressed two fingers lightly to her lips. Was she in love with Wade? Was it ridiculous to think she could be falling in love with a man she’d only spent a few hours with over the course of a few short seasons?
She was afraid to search her heart too deeply, terrified of the answer to that question.
Chapter 33
Wade put the pitcher of lemonade in the refrigerator and wiped off the kitchen counter for the third time. He didn’t know what to expect of this morning. Things with Dee Thackery hadn’t ended on a very good note last week.
He went outside and hooked up a sprinkler to the garden hose on the back lawn. Maybe if they stayed outside all morning it would be less awkward. Wade walked to the side of the house and turned on the spigot.
The sun was already hot, and the cool mist that reached him as the sprinkler sprang to life felt good. Shadow came running, and pranced
through the water, lapping at the spray and sloshing in the mud it quickly produced.
He heard tires on the gravel, and his heart gave a little lurch. Dee was here with the kids. He went to greet them.
The kids spotted the sprinkler the minute they climbed out of the car.
“Can we run through it?” Lacey’s asked.
“But we didn’t bring our suits,” Beau said, scowling.
“I know,” Wade said, nodding hello to Dee over Beau’s head. “But you’ve all got dry clothes in your rooms upstairs. You can change before you go.” He looked to Dee. “Is that okay?”
“Sure, as long as they have stuff to change into. That sounds like fun.”
The words were barely out of her mouth when Shadow trotted to where they were standing. Shadow panted and gave a doggie grin, then shook herself like a wet rag. Dee and the children squealed as a torrent of water hit them.
The kids raced after Shadow to land in the middle of the fountain the sprinkler created.
Wade turned to Dee, then gasped and stared at her in dismay. Rivulets of water ran down her face, making trails in the spots of mud Shadow had flung. Her khaki pants and peach-colored shirt were covered with dark spots.
He put a hand to his mouth, first to express his horror, then to stifle a laugh. She looked like an appealing street urchin with her droopy hair and muddy clothes. “I am so sorry, Dee,” he told her. “Wait right here… I’ll get you a towel. Or do you want to come inside and try to wash off some of the mud?”
She brushed a sodden lock of hair off her forehead and looked down at her clothes. To Wade’s surprise she giggled.
“I really did take a shower before I came,” she said, waving him off. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just wash off in the sprinkler.” She brushed a hand across her cheek and stooped to inspect her face in the car’s rearview mirror. “Oh, dear! Maybe I will take that towel.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to try to wash off some of that mud? It’s hard as the dickens to get out of anything.”
She looked down at her shirt. “Well…” She hesitated, then gave a wave of her hand. “Oh, it’ll be okay. But I will take that towel.”
“I’ll be right back.” Wade ran to the house and grabbed a thick bath towel from the load of clean laundry in the dryer. He started back outside, then hesitated. Dee might not be worried about the mud now, but when she tried to wash those clothes later tonight, she might feel differently.
His eyes lit on the tall cupboard beside the washing machine. Starr had always kept a couple changes of clothes at the house so she could shower here after a day of painting. Wade opened the door and pushed back a row of his winter work shirts. A sleeveless cotton blouse and a pair of black pull-on slacks hung there alongside several of Starr’s sweatshirts. A lump formed unexpectedly in his throat, but before he could change his mind, he pulled the blouse and slacks off the hangers and draped them over one arm.
When he got back outside, Dee was leaning over the sprinkler, dabbing water on her face and laughing with the children as they played in the spray.
Wade took the towel and clothes and went to stand at the edge of the sprinkler’s reach, holding them out to Dee like a valet.
She wiped the water out of her eyes and turned to him, still spotted with mud and water, but wearing a smile that melted him.
“Oh, thank you,” she said, breathless. She took the towel and blotted her face, then bent at the waist to rub her hair dry. When she finished, she handed the towel back to him. “I’m not sure if that made it better or worse, but at least I got the mud out of my ears and––” She stopped suddenly, noticing the clothes Wade held. “What’s this?”
“Some…extra things to change into. If you don’t wash that mud out of your clothes right away, they’ll be ruined.” He held them out. “Please. I’d feel better. You can change inside, and I’ll throw your stuff in the washer. You can bring these back next week.”
Her expression softened, and understanding shadowed her features. “These were…hers?”
He nodded.
“Are you sure…you don’t mind?”
“I’m sure.”
She gave a slight nod, took the clothes from him, and went into the house. She was back in minutes, her muddy clothes wadded in one hand, her hair neatly combed and tucked behind her ears. Wade’s breath caught, seeing her in the familiar outfit.
“I would have started the washer myself,” she said, “but I was afraid I’d mess something up.”
“I’ll do it,” he said, taking the muddy laundry from her. “I’m sure sorry about this.”
She laughed. “Hey, don’t think a thing of it. This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me all week.”
“Well, thanks for being such a good sport. Maybe the sprinkler wasn’t such a good idea.”
She looked out at the children laughing and splashing in the sprinkler, then back at Wade. Tipping her head to one side, she smiled softly. “It was a good idea, Wade. A very good idea.” She motioned toward the stoop. “I’m going to go sit over there and let the sun dry my hair while you play with the kids.”
“Sure. Here, take this.” Wade tossed her the towel again and ran inside to start the washer.
When he came back outside, he kicked off his sandals and walked across the wet grass to join the kids at the edge of the sprinkler. He sent up a prayer of thanks as he went. Dee’s generous, forgiving attitude had enabled them to sidestep whatever had been troubling her before. He still didn’t understand what had changed for her so suddenly the other day, but he was grateful for the moment of comic relief that had seemed to smooth things over.
“Hey, Wade!” Dani chirped when she noticed him. “Are you gonna play in the water with us?”
Grinning, he ducked under the geyser of water, scooped Dani into his arms, and spun her around. She shrieked with delight, and soon Lacey and Beau were lined up for turns on the ‘Wade-a-Whirl.’ As the landscape spun by him, from the corner of his vision, he saw that Dee was laughing right along with the children.
By the time the kids needed to change into dry clothes for the trip back to the Xaviers’, Wade was as soaked as they were. He turned off the water and went to get more towels.
As he climbed the stairs, Dee looked up at him from her seat on the bottom step. There was a glint in her eyes. “You look a little wet behind the ears there.”
He laughed and shook his wet head over her, misting her with a considerably cleaner version of the shower Shadow had given her.
She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “Mmmm…that actually feels good now that I’m all dried out. At least you’re not muddy.”
The kids stood on the walk, dripping onto the concrete. He threw Beau the towel Dee had hung over the rail. “Hang on, girls. Let me get some more towels, and then we can go in for some lemonade.”
Inside, he transferred Dee’s clothes to the dryer, grabbed three beach blankets, and took them out with him. He gave one to each of the girls, and while he dried off, Dee helped the girls dry their hair. When she finished with Dani, wrapping her in folds of bright turquoise terrycloth, Dee looked up at Wade. “That was fun.”
He hesitated, immensely pleased with her comment, but not sure how this sudden friendliness fit with what she’d told him last week about things getting too familiar between them.
The silence stretched between them, grew awkward. “I’ll bring out some lemonade,” Wade said, giving his hair one last pass with the towel.
Dee didn’t offer to help the way she would have last week. He went into the house and poured five cold glasses of lemonade and carried them outside on a tray.
Dee took a long draw from the glass he offered and sighed like a thirsty farmhand. “Mmmm…that’s good stuff.”
“Fresh squeezed from lemons I grew myself, and sugar cane I processed out in the barn.” He gave the kids an exaggerated wink.
“No, you didn’t, Wade!” Lacey said, striking her familiar hands-on-hips pose.
>
“Shhh…don’t give away my secrets.”
“It’s Kool-Aid!” Dani shouted. “The yellow kind.”
“Aha! So Martha Stewart you’re not,” Dee said.
Wade took a swig from his glass and licked his lips. “I don’t know. I think even Martha would approve.”
Dee laughed and drained her glass. But then she looked at her watch and turned serious. “Hey, guys, drink up. You need to get changed and in the car in about three minutes.” She took the tray from the railing and started collecting glasses.
“I’ll run up and help the kids find dry clothes,” he said. “Come on, guys, hustle up.”
“Wade––” Dee stood looking at him, biting her bottom lip as though she were trying to keep from giving him bad news.
“Is something wrong?”
“I…probably should go with the kids. I’m really not supposed to––”
“Leave me alone with them?” He fought back an unwelcome surge of anger. Cocking his head, he frowned at her. “Do you trust me, Dee?”
She met his gaze head on. “Yes. I do. Completely.”
Her answer satisfied his ire. “Thank you,” he said quietly. He let out the last of his resentment on a deep sigh. “Okay…I’ll clean up here while you help them get changed.”
He added his empty glass to the tray and took it from her, saluting her with a wink before she shepherded the kids into the house.
If today was a demonstration of what she meant by “backing off,” he thought he could handle it.
Dee didn’t recognize the thirty-something brunette sitting in the playroom at St. Joseph Academy, but the minute the woman saw Beau and Lacey and Dani come through the door, she bolted from her seat and started toward them.
“Oh, my!” The woman put a hand to her mouth, her eyes misting. Her makeup was flawlessly applied, her lipstick matching her long, red fingernails perfectly. Not a hair on her head was out of place. “Oh, my,” she repeated almost reverently. “I’d have known you anywhere.” Her voice held a vague hint of the south. Texas, Dee guessed.
Puzzled, Dee opened her mouth to introduce herself, but before she got out a word, she heard Darrin Parnell’s voice from the hallway behind her.
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