She smiled.
Jackson pulled the leather ottoman to her feet, swung his leg over and straddled it.
“Appears we got some talking to do.”
Still curled up, like a small child, she nodded. A single tear slipped from the corner of one eye, and he saw a vulnerable woman waiting for love, rather than a corporate giant. Jackson reached out to her, wiping the tear from her cheek with his thumb. Suddenly he knew where to start. “I guess it’s time to lay it all on the line and speak nothing but the truth.”
He watched her carefully as he spoke, and although the sound of his raspy whisper seemed to calm her, fear still glistened in her eyes. It hurt to think he was the cause. He took one of her hands in his.
“I’ve always been pretty sure where I was going and what I wanted. Hell, even as a snot-nosed kid, I knew I wasn’t going to be happy with an eight-to-five job in some stuffy building. I also knew that I was happy being alone. Except for Everett, there wasn’t a soul I cared for or needed, until I met you…” He played with the end of her braided hair and focused on it for a moment before fixing his gaze on her face. “I’ve had to rethink things that have been second nature to me for a long time.”
It was a simple declaration. In his own way, Jackson was allowing her to see inside him, to know as much about the man, perhaps, as he knew about himself. Alexandria was moved by it and prayed for God to give her the wisdom and patience to listen and learn—something she’d never seen the need for until now.
Smiling through the tears, she gave him all the encouragement she knew how.
He took both her trembling hands in his, sharing the heat and intensity of the moment. “I guess what I’m trying to get to is that when I have trouble with a horse or anything else, I try to face it and be honest with myself about the problem. For the last month, Alex, I’ve been having a hell of a time dealing with you, and it’s because I haven’t had the guts to face the problem head-on.”
Alexandria suddenly found the air stifling, and the simple act of breathing had become almost impossible. Jackson Morgan had enough of her. She was the cause of too many problems. He was ready to be rid of her. What began as a business deal was going to end as a business deal.
It wasn’t fair, her heart cried out. Just as she found love, it was disappearing. The one thing that could make her life truly a success was slipping through her fingers and evaporating before her eyes.
“I’m sorry—” she began as more tears fell. “I never meant to be such a—”
“No, no.” He pulled her toward him, nervous laughter soothing them both. “I’m not sorry for a minute that I met you, and I hope the feeling’s mutual. What we gotta do is face the fact that there might be something between us that goes further than a good cut or a nice turn. We need to decide what that is.” His eyes grew dark with emotion and his voice deepened. “I don’t think I can live without finding what’s there, and I think you agree. We’ve both been playing games with each other and it’s time we quit.”
She sniffed, marveling how he had made sense out of chaos when she had failed. “Yes, yes to everything.” She forced a smile again. “I guess I’m not as good at being just plain Alex as I am at being Alexandria, but I’m willing to try.”
“You are Alex.” He gently pulled her onto his lap. “Your nose is a little pink from the sun, your jeans are pressed and neat in the morning but dusted with dirt around the bottom after working stock all day. You are my Alex.” He reached for her thick blonde braid. “Do you know you’ve been here nearly a month, and I’ve never seen your hair free except for the day Paul was here? My Alex wears it just like you do when she rides, but at home, when she wants to be soft, she lets it fall.” He unwound the rubber band and then his fingers combed through her golden tresses, leaving wide, luxurious curls falling around her shoulders.
“Some mornings, when we’re up early and the sun is just coming up, your hair looks like spun gold.”
His touch was careful but deliberate, and Alexandria felt the power of his determination meet and blend with her own. Nestled in his lap, she was warmed by his thighs alongside hers and by the closeness of his chest to her back.
“It’s been all I could do to leave your hair alone,” he continued to stroke it as he spoke, “not to mention all the times I had the urge to do this…” He nuzzled her neck, parting the hair to allow himself clear access.
Chills ran through Alexandria and she itched to return caress for caress, but he held her close so the only thing she could do was lean into him. Finally, her pulse racing, her breath ragged, he put his arms around her, content to hold her, content to be together at last. Even after a hard day in the saddle, she smelled like wild honeysuckle.
“Jackson?”
“Yes.”
She turned to face him, reluctant to break his hold, but intent upon clearing the way for them. “Jackson, I’m not good at things like this. I’ve got no idea where we’re going, but like you, I need to know.”
“I guess curiosity might kill us two cats.” He leaned forward and brushed a light kiss on her lips. “But I suspect we might have a darn good time researching the subject.”
Jackson stood, taking Alex with him. He gathered her closer and delivered a quick kiss to her forehead.
Her legs felt like jelly, and she silently thanked God they were going to have a second chance. Releasing her, Jackson stretched tall as if he were a man awakened from a long slumber. “I’m sorry you fell.”
Mention of the accident suddenly brought her aching muscles to mind. “It wasn’t your fault.” She smiled, tossing her hair back at the same time. “I was getting kind of cocky and it taught me a lesson.”
“Are you pretty sore?” His concerned tone carried through in his expression, but he quickly followed up with a smile.
“Not sore enough to miss practice tomorrow. I seem to remember you betting you’d score higher than me.”
“I did?” His face brightened with humor and suddenly all was well.
She put her hands on her hips and challenged him in fun. “You did, and I intend to hold you to it.”
Jackson nodded in appreciation of her spunk. The possibility of her scoring higher than him in a novice horse class was a distinct possibility and should have scared him a little, but it didn’t. He knew if he were to be beaten, she’d do it fair and square. He also knew that he wanted success for her as much or more than he wanted success for himself. Tough as nails, gentle as the wind, his Alex stood before him, and there was nothing he could refuse her.
After a simple dinner, Jackson and Alexandria decided to watch the sunset from the lawn in back of the house. He suggested the rustic log-and-wagon-wheel swing, but she opted for the grass itself, which was a good deal softer than the board seat.
A frown darkened his face, like a cloud crossing the sunlit hills as he settled in the grass. “I am sorry about getting after you so bad this afternoon. You’re a natural at cutting and I—” He looked at her as she nestled beside him and realized he was on his way to another lie. The real issue hadn’t anything to do with cutting or horses. He’d promised to be truthful and he owed himself, as well as her, nothing less.
“Nope,” he forced a correction. “That’s got little or nothing to do with what happened today. Not that you aren’t doing great, but—” He cleared his throat, then stopped.
The pause nearly killed Alexandria. She imagined all kinds of reasons for his impatience ranging from her stupidity to his tiring of her. She waited, frozen, unable to look at him, unable to breathe.
He began slowly, carefully, watching her, recognizing how still she was and praying he could find the words to melt the brittle veneer she hid behind. “After that first kiss, you made it clear where I stand, and I know I’m the one who’s stepping into territory I have no right to be in, but you’re like a horn fly that won’t go away. The thought of you and him buzzed around my head until I thought I was going to go crazy.” Tight and tense, he feared the worst, and his plea tumbled ou
t like grain spilling from a torn bag. “The more I swatted at it the faster it buzzed, and by the time you finally got back, I had no idea how to deal with it.” The words weren’t right, he felt like a horse stumbling through a rock creek bed. “I’ll apologize now, for the liberties I’ve taken by trying to explain, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m having a helluva time trying to forget you and him together.”
Alex felt afraid and happy all at once. She wasn’t the only one who had been fighting a feeling that was as mysterious as it was intriguing. They were seated close, almost face-to-face, and she knew it was her turn to speak, to tell him he wasn’t out of line, to confess all. She picked a blade of grass and twirled it between her thumb and forefinger while she thought how she would begin.
“It wasn’t like that,” she whispered. “He had business to discuss and there were papers to sign, but,” she looked from the grass to him, “I also had something to discuss, and I went with him so we’d have no interruptions.”
“Carmel?”
“How do you know we went to Carmel?” she asked cautiously.
“Paul called, just to let me know where you could be reached if necessary,” Jackson said flatly.
“Oh.” She returned her focus to the grass, aware of Paul’s intent, but not surprised—it was the way they worked. He started to say something, but she gently silenced him with her fingers as she continued. “It was never a real engagement. It just happened because neither of us had time for anyone else and because it seemed prudent at the time. It was more a business deal than not, and right now, I realize that it was a cheap trick to avoid anything more real.”
Jackson was silent, almost brooding.
“You have to understand there wasn’t much feeling associated with it. I didn’t understand that myself until I found out…until I met someone who made me feel.”
He leaned back, supported by one elbow, and toyed with the grass. Alexandria felt that companionable feeling slipping away and was afraid what progress they’d made had been destroyed. She came to her knees and leaned forward, trying to close the space. “I told him—”
Swiftly he pulled her down and to him, then rolled, pinning her beneath him. “I don’t want to hear what you told him. All I want to hear is that he doesn’t matter anymore. I want the chance to court you like a gentleman and love you like a mad man.”
Her body burned where his lay across hers, and the fire spread inside and out. She would have agreed to anything just to keep him near. “Jackson Morgan, I’ve never met anyone like you. No one else matters—no one but you.”
Jackson’s body was as ready as his mind to taste again what he’d hungered for so long. Pressing himself slowly against her, his lips finally met hers. The kiss was deep and long lasting, a prelude to what was to follow. Neither he nor she wanted to rush.
Alex savored him like a connoisseur savors a fine wine, tasting, smelling, and allowing him to swirl around in her mind until she was dizzy with him. She clung to him, like a leaf clings to its stem for life. The setting sun cast a golden glow upon them and the cool grass pillowed them as they rolled, each wanting and wishing for the power that would make them one.
Jackson scattered kisses over her neck, sending shivers of joy through her. Throwing caution to the delicate evening breeze, he found the top button on her blouse and unbuttoned it, chasing his handiwork with kisses where her shoulder began. She was warm and soft, and the hint of honeysuckle was as intoxicating as the strongest opiate. He’d dreamed of this moment a thousand times each night and thought he knew what euphoria it would produce, but realized he’d been wrong. Nothing his mind could conjure matched the powerful feelings he had as his body lay beside hers and his arms held her tight.
“Where have you been all my life,” he said, his voice husky and passion ravaged. “I’ve wasted a lot of time thinking I was above needing someone.”
“I don’t even want to think about the time we’ve wasted. We’re here, and we finally found each other.” His body was warm and inviting as he pressed to her. Alex was sure she’d been shot with electricity. Her whole being tingled and suddenly there was no time to tarry. “Make love to me, Jackson. I don’t think I can live without you closer to me now. I need you, I love you.”
Breathless, all he heard was her declaration of love. “Is that where we are? Is this crazy obsession really love?”
She slowed her pursuit of him, almost the same time he hesitated, the reality of what they were saying hitting them both.
He rolled to his back and gazed toward the starry heaven.
Alex laid her head on the grass carpet and smiled. “I can’t speak for you, but I honestly think I’m in love with you, Jackson. Since the first day I came to you, there’s been that same horn fly bugging me. I tried to ignore it, and I tried to explain it away, but I could never quite forget the way your voice sounds or the gentleness and thrill of your touch or“—she laughed—”the fact that you’re a better cook than I am.”
He reached for her hand and held it tight. “I love you too, Alex.”
She stopped. “You don’t have to say it just because I did.”
He rolled to face her. “I’m not. You make me feel alive and itchy all over.”
“Poison oak would do the same thing.”
“You’re definitely under my skin, like poison oak, but I hope the feeling is going to last a lot longer.” He focused on her face, a healthy tan from the sun, cheeks pink from body heat, and lips red from meeting his. “I want this to last forever.”
“Forever would be nice.”
“I have to have forever. I can’t—”
“You have to trust me,” she whispered. “You have to trust us. I’m a beginner at this too, and I know we have to be sure, but I know how I’ve felt up till now, and there’s never been anything close to you, Jackson. I know my heart.”
“A kiss to seal the deal?”
She wound her arms around his neck and drew him closer. “More than one would make it an iron-clad contract.”
Darkness crept over them as each one bargained for the other’s heart. Some moments were frantic as the beginning had been, but most were slow and gentle, the way a man woos a woman he cares for deeply and the way a woman builds and binds a man’s mind and body.
Neither knew how long they had been in each other’s arms, but when each was satisfied just to lie in the other’s embrace, time resurfaced.
“We need to be up early,” he said lazily, the purple haze of honeysuckle still lingering over him. He caressed her hair, silvery and alive in the moonlight as she rested her head on his chest.
“I know. Will you come to bed with me?” She felt rather than heard him laugh. “What? Is that funny?”
“No. It’s just that earlier tonight, I thought maybe the way to win you was the Rhett Butler approach. I considered marching up to you and carrying you to my bed and ravishing you until you gave in.”
“You could still do it.” His chest rose and fell and she ran her hand across it lovingly.
“Nope. This battle has been won with remarkably few casualties, and I think I’m happy to be on the couch.” She tried to raise her head in protest, but he held her close. “Neither of us is going anywhere and I, for one, am content to know there will be a tomorrow for us. We have lots to learn about each other before we share a bed.”
Alex knew he was right. Finding a soul mate after years of searching was enough for one night. Unlike Scarlett, she didn’t have to worry about tomorrow.
Between packing for Temecula and practice, the next day was busy and long. Alex rode as many horses as she could, warming up some for Jackson and working Hattie especially hard. Most of the time, Jackson was patient and happy with her work, but he purposely had her ride the lazy roan as well as another gelding, which challenged her ability.
Jackson watched Alex ride and marveled at how easily she sat a working horse and how her energy seemed to flow from her to the animal. It was as if the tension between them had evapora
ted, leaving her more focused and adept than ever. She was a natural, and it pleased him to be part of the awakening of such a talent.
Later that afternoon, Everett called and Jackson expounded upon the subject of his favorite student. “You should see her, Ev; she has come a long way in a month. Of course, you didn’t see her in the very beginning, when she didn’t know long from short, deep from shallow, or a high score from a hot quit.”
“Sounds like you’re her promoter, son. What’s been going on between the long and the short go-rounds?”
Hesitation on the other end worried Everett. “You’re not getting in too deep with the lady from the big city, are you?”
“No. Not too deep. I think she’s the one, Ev, and we’ve finally come to an understanding about each other. I like her. I like her a lot, and if you hang around long enough, you might get to be best man.”
“You’re falling fast, Jackson. When I was out there, I was worried about where that cute face and saucy little butt was leadin’ you. Don’t suppose I could interest you in taking more time?”
“Ev. I’m thirty-six years old. You always said I’d find someone who would make me want to settle down and have kids. You like her. I know you do, otherwise you’d have said so.”
“Arguin’ with you is like tryin’ to find hair on a frog, as usual. I guess there’s nothin’ to say but go for it. Jist take it from an old man and go slow. If she’s the one, she’ll be there tomorrow.”
Jackson couldn’t help but wish Everett had been in on their “tomorrow” conversation. Surely he’d feel more at ease about Alex if he’d heard her view on tomorrow. When he hung up, Ev had hinted that he might show up at Temecula, and Jackson hoped then he and Alexandria would have the chance to talk more. Everett was the only father he’d ever really known, and no matter what else was said, it mattered to him what Everett thought.
Later that same day, after dinner, he and Alex were making final plans for the trip to Temecula. Juan was going to take care of the ranch, but between hauling horses, making motel and boarding arrangements, and packing everything, the list grew longer and longer. Alex sat on the couch finishing up laundry (she had been given explicit instructions on how not to shrink anything) and Jackson was making the final phone calls.
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