by Dee Tenorio
Locke read the letter again, trying to see the words through the haze of his growing anger. “Why?”
Cole shrugged. “Look at this place.” He flipped the windows on the screen. A stately looking legal site. Formal. Snooty, really. “Some quick research about them says they’re a nearly hundred-year-old firm, practically an institution in Chicago. Old guard, mostly they handle business ventures of Ivy Leaguers and corporations. Something like this seems too…well, tiny for them. Plus, I can’t see them going out of their way to own a lingerie store in the middle of Nowhere, California. Hell, I’m surprised they could find RDC on a map.”
“Clearly, they did,” Amanda bit out, crossing her arms over her chest. Locke almost reached out to her, not liking how shaken she seemed by it all. But before he could, Cole was there, pushing out of his chair to pull her into his arms. She went too, without even thinking about it.
Locke pushed out a breath, chest clenching as he turned to stare at the red curtain blocking his view of the stairs to Susie’s apartment. He wasn’t sure what felt stranger, watching his baby sister turn to someone else for support or knowing he was jealous because Susie had never—might never—turn to him the same way.
He grabbed his groceries and started toward the curtain. Behind him, there was a muffled complaint, but whatever Amanda meant to say never reached him. At least Cole was good for something.
He mounted the steps carefully, pushing his anger down so Susie wouldn’t catch wind of it. She’d already be on the defensive and feeling vulnerable. In his experience, she’d be looking to take a bite out of someone out of sheer panic. Pregnant women in panic mode were never good for anyone, especially not their babies.
“Susie, it’s Locke. Can you open the door?”
Silence had him straining his hearing, but there wasn’t a thing to be heard.
“Come on, Suze. I thought we were past this.”
More long seconds, then he heard the click of her deadbolts. One, two, three, then the chain. The knob turned, just enough to pull the door open, then her footsteps as she walked away.
He’d take it. Pushing through the opening, using his booted foot to hook the door closed behind him, he made it a point to take the food to her little table before he said anything. Always best to have his hands free when she started in on him in case anything flew at his head.
But once everything was safe and he’d turned, he realized why she’d stayed so quiet. She stood there, jaw tight, watching him with a haunted expression. And two bags of luggage at her feet.
Just like that, all his good intentions went to hell.
Chapter Five
“What the hell is this?”
Susie flinched so hard her entire body shook. She hated the fear that had swallowed her whole as she read the email Amanda had opened. No, not fear. Unadulterated terror. The kind someone like Locke couldn’t possibly understand.
“I h-have to go—” Not that she had the first clue where she was going. Anywhere but here, where he’d find her.
“No, you don’t.” Locke’s brows were drawn, his mouth an implacably flat line. His eyes, though, the ice blue was so intensely angry she felt singed. “There’s not one good reason you need to leave me. Not one.”
Susie squeezed her eyes shut. “This has nothing to do with you—”
“The hell it doesn’t! Were you even going to say goodbye?”
No. Because in her panic, all she’d been able to think about was running. She had almost no idea what was in those bags in front of her except for the few items she kept in there as a precaution. Things she’d packed before ever arriving in Rancho del Cielo—her birth certificate and social security cards, a folder of papers she never wanted to think about and money. Enough to help her find somewhere to start over again.
He read her answer in her silence. “Did you think it wouldn’t affect me if you suddenly disappeared? That it wouldn’t break me?”
Her whole body shook now. Couldn’t he see how hard this was for her too? “Locke, I wasn’t—”
“Wasn’t what? Wasn’t leaving?”
Her own anger ignited, tempting her to grab something, anything, and throw it at him. “You’re not listening!”
“Fine, I’ll listen.” He stalked closer, those long legs of his eating up the pathetically small space of her living room until he was right in front of her, one hand slipping around her waist, the other cupping her jaw with a gentleness at complete odds with the rage in his eyes. “Tell me what’s going on in that damn stubborn head of yours, Susie. Tell me anything you want, just don’t tell me you’re walking out of my life.”
She swallowed, slipping her fingers around the wide strength of his wrist. Even now, her heart beating almost out of her chest, a cold sweat spilling down her back, she wasn’t afraid of his touch. In fact, she’d give anything to lean into him. Let him protect her. But she’d made that mistake before and she remembered too well the price that had been paid. In blood. In so much more…
“You won’t understand.” He couldn’t possibly.
“Try me, baby. I swear, I won’t fail you.”
She rubbed her face against his rough palm, eyes closed at the first surcease she’d found since he’d left that morning. “You don’t know how to fail.”
“Sounds like a great reason to trust me, doesn’t it?” He ran his lips over her forehead, groaning when she shook her head at his words. “Please, you’re killing me like this. Tell me why you’re so afraid. I can feel you shaking. You know I’ll help any way I can. Is it that bullshit letter from that law firm? Because we can take care of that. I know a guy who will tear them a new—”
“Stop,” she whispered, surprised to find a smile tugging at her lips even as she cupped her hand over his. “This is what I’m talking about. You don’t have the first clue what it’s like to be afraid.”
His gaze softened and he pressed a kiss to her fingers before twisting his face out of her hold. “If that’s what you think, you’ve still got a lot to learn about me.” Another kiss, this one to the corner of her mouth. A kneading stroke to the small of her back, pulling her flush against his body. Luring her to lean on him, let him take the strain from her body. “Stay,” he whispered. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
She melted, her entire body going lax in his arms, and all her arguments died in her throat. When his kisses moved across her mouth, she couldn’t even think of stopping him. Didn’t want to. Instead she let him hold her, because he seemed to need it as much as she did. Let him kiss her, because she was greedy for more of him. Because touching him, feeling him surround her, pushed the fear down far enough that she could finally breathe again. But soon his kisses weren’t enough…
She pulled at his shirt collar, trying to force the buttons free. She had just gotten a tantalizing inch or two of golden skin exposed when his hands closed over hers and he pulled away.
“No, Susie.”
She stared up in surprise.
“This time, we have to talk.” And his expression promised he wasn’t going to budge on it. He backed up to her couch, towing her along with him. When he sat, he tugged her down to straddle him. For a brief second, she thought she might get her way after all, because he moaned at the fit of her over his erection. Instead of kissing her again, though, all he did was pull her over his chest and tuck her head onto his shoulder. His arms encircled her, his hands stroking down her back. Trying to calm her. Soothe her.
She closed her eyes, wishing it wasn’t working. How had he gotten so deep into her heart that she couldn’t freeze him out? How was she supposed to stop herself from giving in to him when he kept giving her everything she needed without ever asking for anything in return? He deserved better. And she…
Hell, she didn’t know what she deserved.
“Our lives would be so much easier if this was just about sex,” she whispered, her confusion turning her words into a lament.
His chest rumbled, but she couldn’t tell if it was an ag
reeing sound. “If we were just about sex, it wouldn’t be as good.”
She almost choked. “You think this is good?” Good didn’t hurt, not like she’d hurt him, time and time again.
“I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Susie. Good doesn’t begin to cover it.”
She closed her eyes, her bottom lip between her teeth, indecision keeping her rigid. But the scent of him, crisp and woodsy, was a subtle seduction all its own, tempting her to give in.
“Talk to me, baby,” he whispered, still rubbing her back gently. “Don’t be afraid. Whatever it is, we can deal with it together.”
She lifted her hand to the triangle of skin she’d uncovered, touching it reverently. So close to his heart… Close enough to feel it beat. To wonder if it was beating just for her.
The way hers had come to beat for him, tattered and broken as it was.
Tears burned behind her closed lids, old shame and new hope at open war in her mind. She’d tried. Tried so hard, for so very long, not to feel for this man. Not to want him or need him or care about him in the slightest. To put him in her mind with every other man she came across—something she never noticed and never wanted to be noticed by. She even knew he tried to let her do it.
It hadn’t worked. Not for either of them.
No matter what she’d done—and God, she’d done a lot—he never gave up on her. Never hid his want of her, a want she knew went so much deeper than just lust. A want she echoed. And feared.
But the fear didn’t stop anything. She felt so much for him now, she was choking on it. Desperate to push him away, desperate to hold tight and no idea which was the right way to go.
He deserves better…
He also deserved the truth.
She didn’t know how she could give him either one.
But the longer he held her, silently offering his strength, the more she knew what she had to do. If he still wanted her when he knew her secrets… Well, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.
“I think he’s found me.” The words were hoarse and little more than a whisper, but he heard. His hands stilled on her back for the briefest of stutters.
“Who?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? The answer would change everything between them all over again, but she knew she couldn’t hide it from him any longer.
“My husband.”
Locke watched his own hand continue to slide up and down Susie’s back. His fingers would appear at the top of her shoulder, then disappear behind her only to loop back. He wasn’t sure how long he watched them move, his mind oddly disconnected from the movement.
Susie had a husband.
Married.
To someone else.
The wrongness of that threatened to tear open something in him he’d never quite realized existed. A primal, possessive thing that shuddered with a sudden need to destroy something. Destroy it now.
“Locke?” Susie’s voice, softly tickling the skin at his neck. “Did you hear what I said?”
Given the pressure in his chest that had nothing to do with her body against him, he had to surmise that yes, he had heard her. But the word refused to compute. Husband. Husband… He nodded for her, though, because she seemed to be waiting for something from him. And he rubbed, not liking the tension that had turned her body from the softness he loved to the taut hardness of someone waiting for a blow to strike.
That thought finally pried him out of the hollow blankness.
I think he’s found me…
Her fear. The fear that had lain banked in her as long as he’d known her. Always a shadow in her eyes, keeping them apart. A live thing that kept her chained, no matter how she insisted on her freedom. A puzzle piece in the mystery of her clicked into place, but it didn’t answer many questions. Just one very important one.
“He’s the reason you’re afraid of me.”
Susie sat up, brows creased, the blue of her eyes flaring in affront. “I’m not afraid of you.”
Locke raised his brows.
She held up for a few seconds, but eventually her shoulders slumped a little and she dropped her gaze. As if she had something to feel guilty about. He needed to know what it might be.
He tipped her chin up, turning her face back until she looked at him again. “You’re still married to him?”
She shook her head, as best she could with him still lifting her chin until it was where it should be.
“You still love him?” Her answer had the potential to destroy him, but he forced himself to ask. He’d been and done many things in his life, but being a coward was not and never would be something he’d accept in himself.
She swallowed, but her gaze softened, even as it became absolute. “I didn’t know what love was when I knew him.”
But she knew now. She didn’t say it, but he was never a man who put a lot of stock in words. Actions. Loyalty. His gut. Those were the things with weight he could feel and he felt this now. She knew what love was now.
The ferocious thing in him all but roared in satisfaction. “Then he’s not your husband.”
She must have heard its growl in his tone because she sighed, rolling her eyes before she pulled his hand off her chin and leaned to the side as if she meant to slide off his lap. “That’s not what he thinks.”
“Why do we give a shit what he thinks?” Whoever this bastard was, he didn’t matter anymore. Never would again, if Locke had anything to say about it—and by God, he would have many things to say. Which was why he settled his palms on her hips and kept her right where she was.
Susie looked down at his hands, her body stilling with a different kind of tension now. One he was far more comfortable with. She met his gaze without hesitation, her mouth turning mulish. “You don’t control me, Havelocke Jackman, so you get that thought out of your head right this second.”
“Have no interest in controlling you.” Though his life would be a damn sight less difficult if he did. “So don’t think you’re getting out of the question by being pissy.”
Her offended gasp almost made him chuckle, but he figured she’d slug him if he did. All she did was sit back and glare at him instead.
“Talk to me.” He gave her a small bounce with his leg.
She socked his shoulder, then shook her hand out as if it had hurt. “I’m not five and this isn’t a pony ride.”
“It won’t turn into one, either, if you don’t start being honest with me. Who is this guy and what makes you think he’s coming after you?”
She immediately began shaking her head.
“I’ve got the rest of time to wait for your answer, baby.”
Susie wrinkled her nose and looked around the room. Anywhere but at him. “Yeah, well, I don’t. He’ll come soon. I know him—he doesn’t let go once he’s found something he wants.”
Pulling her hadn’t worked and Locke wasn’t sure how much longer his patience could hold out, so he leaned into her line of sight, demanding she see him in the only way she’d accept. “Do you really think I would let someone like that near you? That I wouldn’t tear apart anyone who came here with the intention of hurting you?”
Her gaze flickered, a rush of almost confused blinks.
“Let him come.” It took work to tamp down his desire to pound the faceless man until there was nothing left. “No one in this town will blame me for doing what I have to do to protect my own. They sure as hell won’t try to stop me.”
“I’m not your own, Locke.” Her voice might be soft, but it was still implacable. Just like her spine under his fingertips. “I belonged to someone once and it almost destroyed me. Broke me in ways you will never, ever know. I was a thing to him. A possession he could use and abuse as he saw fit. I will never go back to that. Not even for you.”
“Good.” So what if his voice was so rough he barely understood himself? He was so fucking proud of her right then. She’d been shaken, but that core of strength in her hadn’t faltered. It burned like a beac
on, calling to him like nothing else he’d ever known. He cupped the back of her neck, pulling her closer even as she held herself apart. Always a struggle of wills with her… He couldn’t imagine it any other way.
“You are not a possession to me. You never have been and you never will be. But you are my own. I’ll protect you with everything I am, all that I have and every last breath in my body.”
Her lips trembled, those bright eyes filling with tears it would kill him to see her shed. When she spoke, it was only a softly strangled “Why?”
But she knew. It was tearing her up—he saw the pain on her face, felt in his chest.
“Because I love you.” The simplest, hardest words he’d ever managed to say.
“Locke—”
“Don’t.” He didn’t shake her, but Lord, he wanted to. “Don’t belittle me by pretending I don’t know what I’m feeling or that you don’t feel the same way. Don’t you dare.”
She hissed in a breath, but she didn’t look away.
“I’m not him, Susie.” He wanted that clear as crystal. “I don’t need to crush you to love you. I want you exactly as you are.”
“No you don’t. And if you do, you’re insane.” She lifted up again, but he held on, just like before. This time, she practically snarled at him. “You need to learn to let go. We both know I’ll just make you miserable.”
Yeah. Like he was going to buy that. “Honey, I’ve been miserable before. Believe me, that’s not what you make me feel.” Frustrated, irritated, gut-twisted and horny as hell, but never truly miserable.
She kept wriggling, which, okay, he probably shouldn’t have been enjoying, but he never claimed not to be a pig when it came to her. Until she stopped, her body slumping in lines of defeat that had him frowning.
“Baby?”