She looked up at him with furled eyebrows. He kissed her nose and she smiled.
“If a mother dying while birthing her bairn is cause for both to be sent to purgatory, and their only means to escape that fate is by the bairn working hard, then no one would be an exception, correct? Yet my mother doesna work like ye at all and ye say she is saved. ‘Tis a contradiction, that is. ”
Maddie chewed on her lower lip as she looked away in thought. Connor knew it was hard to let go of beliefs you’d had your entire life, especially ones that were reinforced by the people who allegedly loved you. The logic of his argument wasn’t lost on her, though. He waited long minutes before she looked at him with amazement. Elation replaced worry, and her eyes grew vibrant again.
She was breathtaking.
“You’re right, Connor!” she said laughing. It was such a lighthearted giggle, that it made him feel ten years younger.
Maddie hugged him. “Thank you! It makes sense,” she said laughing. “You’re right!” She lunged up to hug him, but grew dizzy and held on to his forearms.
“Easy, Maddie. Lie back down here,” he said, his eyes studying her.
She was laughing and giddy. It was so refreshing to see her like this. He felt good having lifted the burden she’d carried all these years.
“Why would my family tell me different?”
He wanted to lie to her, to not shatter the illusion she had of her father and brothers, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t feed the lie, but he wouldn’t destory it either.
“I doona know, Maddie.”
She yawned. “Why am I still tired?”
“Ye need yer rest. Yer fever was high.”
She sighed. He saw sleep working its magic over her. Her hold on him tightened, though.
“Please don’t leave my side, Connor. ‘Tis inappropriate to ask, but I feel better with you here.”
His heart skipped a beat. “It would take a legion of men to drag me away.”
Maddie smiled. Her heart beat faster in her chest. His words made her feel that good.
Connor thought she was asleep, until she spoke again.
“How fitting that you and my pet are called Ramsay,” she said sleepily.
“Why do ye say that,” he asked blandly.
His tone made her giggle. He couldn’t help smiling in response.
“Both Ramsays saved me.”
Connor stayed awake for a time after she fell asleep. He recognized the irony in the situation. He cursed her father and that lecherous old man, but the truth was, it had been his plan to use Maddie for his own ends, too.
Even though he felt good holding her in his arms, he couldn’t help the disgust he felt for himself. Not only was he was a bloody idiot, he was a hypocrite, too.
Chapter Twelve
A week later, Wynton’s response came. Connor crumbled it in his hands and threw it on the floor.
“What did it say?” Iain asked.
“Her father said that Maddie was no longer his problem. Binouix has paid good coin for her and Wynton never wants to lay eyes on the little bastard again,” Connor said through clenched teeth. His fist slammed on the table.
“Easy, Connor. Ye want the ransom so much, address it with Binouix,” Iain said and looked over at Kirk, Bruce, Hugh, Kiel and Malcolm.
“Damn the ransom! ‘Tis the way they speak of her and the way they dismiss her as if she were no more than chattel. They willna get their hands on her!” Connor fists were clenched. “Never.”
“They?”
“Her father. Her brothers. Binouix. He tried to force himself on Maddie when she was fourteen! Worse, her father and brothers saw what he was trying to do and didna stop it. They closed the door and let it happen.”
They were all surprised.
“How old is this Binouix?” Malcolm asked.
“A year older than Maddie’s father,” Connor said through his teeth.
“That’s appalling!” Malcolm said.
Connor proceeded to tell them the stupid nonsense that Wynton had engrained in her head.
“That’s why she cleans as much as she does! Why it makes perfect sense when ye consider all that her father told her about her and her mother,” Iain said, eyes wide.
Connor nodded. “That son of a bitch! She still defends him, saying that he was only doing what he thought was in her best interest.”
Connor grabbed another letter.
“What’s that?” Kirk asked.
“Binouix sent a letter as well.”
“What does it say?” Malcolm asked.
“That she is his property, bought and paid, and that if I took her innocence, he would have my head because it belonged to him. He says to send her back or he’ll be coming for her,” Connor said heatedly.
“That filthy bastard, talking as if she is no more than a horse!” Malcolm spat disgustedly.
Connor nodded. A fierce look came into his eyes.
“She will not be going any where. She belongs here and here she’ll stay!” His eyes darkened, and his nostrils flared. He clenched and unclenched his jaw just like he did his fists.
“It wasna us who doubted that, Connor. It was ye. We were waiting until ye came to that realization for yerself,” Iain said, and ducked as a piece of crumpled paper was thrown his way.
Chapter Thirteen
Much had changed in the two weeks since he received those letters. Maddie now ate with the family without trepidation. She felt welcomed, wanted, and happy. She cleaned but not as often or as fanatically. She said that old habits were hard to break. She still spent time with Katie and the children. Although everything seemed great, Maura still caused trouble. Maddie didn’t let her taunts get to her, though.
Out on a walk one day, Katie finally confided in Maddie.
“I was violated, Maddie.”
Katie nodded her head at Maddie’s shock. Maddie’s eyes had softened. Tears formed as she grabbed Katie’s hands.
“Aye. That was why I locked myself in my room when ye first met me.”
“How did it happen, Katie?”
The warmth and kindness in Maddie’s eyes helped Katie share her secret. She bit her lip, which had begun to tremble, and inhaled deeply.
“I was visiting the McLeans on the border. Cassie, the laird’s daughter, and I are good friends. We’ve known each other since we were younger. My father and Laird McLean are strong allies. Well, Cassie and I went for a stroll to speak privately without eavesdropping ears. Cassie has younger brothers. We sneaked away from the guards and went into the fields. That’s when men came out and held Cassie while they violated me. They were going to do the same to her, but they heard McLean soldiers approaching and left.”
“I’m so sorry, Katie.” Maddie gave her a tight hug. “I don’t want to make ye uncomfortable, but do ye know who did it?”
Katie shook her head.
“Nay, Maddie. All I know is that they were English. I heard their accents.”
Maddie gasped. Tears welled in her eyes.
“Katie, please forgive me. I am so sorry,” Maddie said, dismayed. She squeezed Katie’s hands.
“For what, Maddie?”
“How do you not hate me? I am English.”
“I hadna noticed, Maddie. Truly,” she said when Maddie looked up. Humor lit their eyes and both started laughing.
Katie inhaled a long shuddery breath again. “I doona hate ye in the least. ‘Tis the truth, in a home full of men, I love ye as a sister- as the sister I’ve always wanted and needed.”
“I feel the same.” Maddie smiled and gave her a tight hug. This was the sweetest thing anyone had ever told her.
“Are you sleeping well?”
Katie grimaced. “As well as I can. I have night terrors. Ye have helped me a great deal. When ye kept me company, ye took me out of my head. I’m nay sure I will ever truly heal, but I am hopeful that I can have some normalcy to my life again.”
Maddie nodded in understanding. “I’ve never truly felt wanted, Katie.
‘Tis odd that in the most unlikely of places, I do.”
“We want ye here, Maddie. We all adore ye, ye know.”
Maddie laughed. “Don’t be silly. I am in debt for your family’s hospitality, but I’m near to overstaying my welcome. I do love this family. It is a family that I’ve never had, and one that I have always wanted.”
It hurt her to say it, but she saw too many differences between her family and Katie’s. The differences were too many to ignore them any longer. The realization of who her family was, was finally coming upon her despite how painful it was to see it.
“But I thought we were similar, Maddie. Ye were the youngest and had three older brothers.”
“Aye, but none of them as good as Connor, Iain, and Kiel.”
Maddie shared with Katie the story about her past. She confided the truth behind her cleaning frenzy and the truth about Binouix.
“They just left ye with that man, Maddie? That’s nay acceptable!” Maddie almost laughed at Katie’s words. She sounded like Connor. He always said that.
“I have thought about it and I know now, Katie, that it was not proper. I have to think, though, that somehow my father was looking out for my interests. I have to,” Maddie said sighing and looking off into the distance.
Katie looked at her profile. She didn’t tell her what she was thinking, for it was apparent that Maddie was hurting. Katie wanted to tell her that she wasn’t trying to believe that her father cared, but instead she was trying to convince herself of it. She was seeing things how she wanted to rather than how they were. Her father’s love was nonexistent. He didn’t care for his daughter, but that would be for Maddie to figure out for herself.
*****
Connor was surprised that Maddie hadn’t asked more questions about her father. She asked why he hadn’t come for her only once after her sickness. Connor lied and said that he had arranged it so that she could stay visiting here with his family for a while since she enjoyed her time here.
One evening, they stayed longer at the table after his family had finished eating. He noticed her unrest and asked what was wrong.
“Nothing, but thank ye for asking.”
He wasn’t easily dissuaded.
“Maddie,” he said in a soft tone and lifted her chin to look up at him, “What’s wrong? Ye can trust me.”
God she was beautiful! They hadn’t shared another passionate kiss since before her fever, but the tension and heat that were in the room when they were together was enough to light candles.
She stared at him intently and gifted him with a small smile.
“I do trust ye, Connor, more than anyone else.”
She said it with such conviction, he smiled in return. He felt honored and powerful. He felt like he could slay men by merely looking at them. He also felt like the waste of the earth. What would she say if she found out the truth? How would she feel if she knew that he had actually wanted to ransom her when they first met? It would change how she viewed him and how she felt about him, and he couldn’t allow that. She could never find out the truth.
“It’s just that…well…” she meandered. He found it adorable when he didn’t find it annoying.
“Go on, Maddie.”
She smiled again, but it was a sad smile this time.
“I just…oh! I’ll say it!” She paused but continued before she lost her nerve. “Is it horrible for me to feel the way I do?”
Connor held on to his patience.
“How do ye feel?”
“Traitorous!”
He took deep breaths and waited for her to continue.
“Go on, Maddie,” he said, grabbing her hand.
They looked up at each other and their eyes locked. The magnetic chemistry danced between them. She moved her hand from underneath his grasp and looked down.
“I don’t want to go back, Connor. I feel loved and wanted here. Over there, at home, I was so lonely and unhappy. I find myself wondering how I could ever go back to that after I experienced the happiness that I have here. I compare both homes. It was so dreary there and now I see things as they can be, and I’m not sure I can do it,” she said, a tear falling from her eye. “Go back, that is,” she finished in a rough whisper.
Connor grabbed her hand and moved over to her. He gently forced her head on his shoulder.
“Ye doona have to go if ye doona want to, Maddie.”
“What will I do, Connor? I can’t stay here and abuse the hospitality you and your family kindly extended to me. Even if I hadn’t already abused my stay, I am too old and too English to remain here. I just don’t belong. No one wants me. The one man that I loved and he-” she didn’t finish. “I just can’t,” she whispered, shaking her head. “‘Twouldn’t be at all proper. My father wouldn’t allow it. Of course he wouldn’t allow it.”
His heart stopped. She loved another? He couldn’t find his breath or any words. He took a minute to gather his thoughts before speaking.
“He what, Maddie? Who do ye love?” His tone was harsher than what he’d intended. He couldn’t help it. His lungs stopped expanding and he couldn’t take in any air. He was growing hot from one moment to the next.
Maddie looked up at him and pulled away, shaking her head.
“No, Connor. ‘Tis impossible!” She stood up. “I cannot be a strain on you and your family any longer, and I cannot go back.” She paused to breathe. Her voice was softer. In a hurtful tone, she said, “and the man that I love…he doesn’t love me back. ‘Tis an impossible situation!”
She ran out of the room, sobbing.
Connor hated it when she ran away from him. He remained sitting at the table, seething. Who did she love, and was that man insane by not reciprocating her love?
He was too late.
Nay! He would make her love him. Damn it! The one woman he should have never cared for, and yet he did.
How cruel fate was, indeed.
*****
“Are you ready? You’ll have to find Katie and I.”
“Maddie, ye scheat, doona ye? We nebber find ye!” a little girl said in her baby voice. Maddie looked down at her and laughed. She was so adorable! She had blond, curly hair with light green eyes. She was only five summers young.
“That’s because she’s a witch! She disappears and comes back like air!”
The little girl, Gretchen, looked up at Maura.
Connor was speaking to someone, but when he saw a crowd and Maura in the center of it, he knew something was amiss. He walked closer to hear better. He hadn’t spoken to Maddie since the night she confessed her love for another man. It had been two of the longest days of his life.
Maddie stepped in front of the children.
“You will not speak like that in front of them. I won’t tolerate it! They’re just children!”
Little Gretchen peeked out from Maddie’s skirts and came forward. She stepped in front of Maddie.
“She canna beeya witch,” Gretchen said as a matter-of-factly. She nodded her head to emphasize her point.
Maura looked down with disgust at the little girl. Gretchen took a small step back and Maddie placed her hands on the child’s small shoulders. Gretchen looked up and Maddie smiled down at her. The child visibly relaxed.
“Why do ye say that?” Maura asked, frustrated.
“She’s too perty! She doesna look lika witch,” Gretchen responded.
“How do ye know what witches look like? What does a witch look like?” Maura mimicked impatiently, not knowing how ridiculous she looked arguing with a five year old child.
Gretchen slanted her head to the side as she seriously thought about the question. Her eyes rounded suddenly.
“Like ye!” Gretchen said, and opened her mouth wide as if only just realizing it. She ran behind Maddie, and peeked from behind her skirts again.
Everyone laughed, and Connor did too.
“Ye little-”
Maddie grew angrier and held up a hand. He hadn’t seen her angry in a while. Connor remained where
he was, waiting to enjoy the spectacle about to begin.
“Don’t you dare insult these children!” For every forward step Maddie took, Maura took one back. Parents had long been outside witnessing the commotion.
“They’re as vile as-”
“I’m warning you, Maura. Say what you will about me, but not about them. They are innocents and I won’t let you talk to them in an ill manner. Has it been so long since you’ve been an innocent that you can’t remember what it’s like to be one?”
Maura gasped and everyone laughed at her expense.
“Ye shouldn’t be one to talk, whore, when everyone knows ye carry the Laird’s heir! That’s why ye swooned!” Connor went to move forward, but Iain stayed him. Connor was surprised to see his brother there and looked behind him.
All of his men, including the ones training, were looking at the spectacle. They were grinning, and admiration showed in their eyes as they looked at Maddie. He turned back to look at the beguiling woman.
Anger flashed in her eyes. They seemed to glow. Green crept in the yellow pools, and even from this distance, Connor could see their vibrancy.
“I should be so lucky!” she paused and Connor stopped breathing. Had she just said what he thought she did?
Maddie continued, “He’s a good man, and a good leader. Frankly, he’s near a saint for having allowed you to stay here. I don’t believe that the position of whore at Keisealle is available, however, nor has it been for some time.” Maddie tapped her fingertips on her chin for effect. “How long have you been here, Maura?”
Maura gasped, outraged. The crowd laughed in chorus.
“Ye, ye witch! Why even now yer eyes are glowing! Witch!”
Maddie nodded her head. “Aye, and for my next trick, I plan to make you disappear!”
“How do ye plan on doing th-aaahhht!”
Maddie threw a bucket of water on Maura.
“Ewwww!!!!!” Maura yelled in indignation.
“You better leave before I think of another one!”
The Highlander Who Saved Me (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 2) Page 11