by Sky Winters
Anna tried not to read too much in to it when Liam began taking his meals with her in the kitchen instead of with his men. She knew that she was dangerously close to having feelings for him that neither of them wanted. He did not want a wife who loved him and she did not want to love any man other than Robert.
Chapter 5
It was just past sunset a few nights later as Anna fussed in the kitchen, trying to keep dinner warm. The men were rarely late and she was beginning to worry when she heard a commotion outside. She was getting ready to chastise them all for keeping her waiting when she realized that something was terribly wrong.
Hank and the senior ranch hand, James, were carrying Liam between them as they burst through the door. She smelled the blood before she even saw it. Her eyes locked in on the gaping wound in his shoulder and she felt her heart stop. He was so pale. He looked more dead than alive, not moving or making a sound, despite the intense pain that he must have felt as the men carried him roughly.
“What happened?” she demanded as she ran across the room to them.
“Cattle rustlers,” Hank said, not taking his eyes of Liam. He was clearly just as terrified as she was about the odd color that he had turned. “We came upon them out on the range trying to run off with a dozen head of cattle. They ran when we spooked them but he rode after them like a damn fool. They fired on us. We didn’t think anyone was hit until he slumped in the saddle.”
“Is he…” she began to ask but she could not finish the question. She could not ask aloud if he was already dead. She was not sure she could stand it if he was and she knew that she needed to be strong for the men.
“He is not dead. He has lost a lot of blood though,” Hank explained as they looked about for a place to put Liam.
“Get him upstairs to his own bed,” she said to Hank and James. “Bring be all the medical supplies you can find around here plus all the whiskey and clean bed sheets you can track down,” she said to the others who were gathered around to see how their employer faired.
“Yes mam,” they all murmured in unison before rushing off to their respective tasks.
She worked for hours trying to get all of the pellets from the shotgun blast out of his shoulder. At first, the men had to hold him down. He was delirious, but he was strong and he lashed out against the pain that she was causing him. Soon enough, though, he passed out from pain and her work became easier. It was some time later when she felt confident that she had gotten each piece of lead out of him. Then, she did her best to clean and bandage the wound before setting in to a chair beside his bed.
She knew that she should go and try to get some sleep. She was exhausted and he was going to require much more care, but she could not bring herself to leave his side and she could not relax enough for sleep to find her. All the while, the men remained gathered in the hallway outside, waiting for any news of Liam’s condition.
“Oh Liam, why did you have to try and be a hero?” she whispered in to the darkness as she watched his breathing, labored but steady.
All she could do was watch silently as she waited for him to wake up. It was hours and hours later, nearly dawn, before he did just that. Slowly, his eyes opened. He was so quiet about it that she did not even realize that he was awake. Her eyes were locked on his hand, held tightly in her own.
“Anna,” he whispered weakly.
“Oh, thank God you are awake,” she cried as she felt tears of joy well in her eyes.
“I feel like hell,” he grumbled as he tried to sit up. The groan on pain that followed told her just how terrible he really felt.
“Well, people usually do after they are shot,” she smirked, putting a hand on his chest to keep him from struggling to sit up.
“You took care of me,” he said, still groggy from his blood loss.
“Yes. Losing one husband was quite enough,” she said honestly, taking her hand and brushing the hair from his forehead.
“You pulled all the buckshot out of my shoulder,” continued, looking simultaneously shocked and like a scared little boy.
“Yes, but I'm afraid we are not out of the woods yet. We have to keep it clean and dressed so you do not get any kind of infection. I should go make another batch,” she said, worried about keeping his wound from getting the kind of infection that could kill a man so quickly.
“No, not right now. Stay with me a moment longer,” he said, reaching out and taking her hand in his.
“Alright,” she said, placing her hand gently on his cheek. The feeling of his warm skin beneath it reassured her that he was indeed alive and there with her. The thought of losing him had terrified her and is still did not feel entirely real to her that he was there and healing.
“You told me about your past but I never told you about mine,” he said, his voice so low that she could barely hear him. To make it easier for him to speak, she rose from her chair and moved to sit on the bed beside him.
“No, I suppose you have not,” she said with a gentle smile. She had known, of course, that there was something in his past that forced him to stay distant from her, she just had no idea what it was. He braced himself for a new kind of pain and launched in to his story. He did not meet her eyes though. He locked his gaze on the ceiling above him.
“I built this place five years ago for myself and my fiancé. She was a beautiful woman, too beautiful as it turned out. I was so damn in love with her and she was in love with the idea of the money and position she would gain as my wife. I know that you have never even thought of that. You work as hard as any of my hands but she had plans to be the lady of the estate. The problem with a relationship like at, of course, is that temptation is strong when new opportunity arises. While I was building this place for her, a banker from Cheyenne was coming to call on her. Two weeks before we were to be married, she left me for him. She left me alone, here on the ranch with this house that I built for her,” he said, still not turning to meet her eyes.
“You do not need to talk about this now. You need to rest and heal,” she said, knowing that it must have been very painful for him to relive the story of her benefit.
“No, I need you to understand why I am the way I am. I loved her so much. I was a blind fool,” he said, turning then to face her. The anger and hurt on his face told her all that she needed to know. He had allowed himself to love once before and his heart had been broken. He would never allow himself to be vulnerable again. He would never allow himself to love her.
“Shhh. I understand. Just rest,” she said, forcing herself to stay positive for him. She stood then to hide her own emotion and gathered an extra blanket for him.
“Alright. Thank you for taking care of me,” he said as she tucked the blanket around him.
“Of course, my husband,” she said, unable to keep herself from bending down and kissing him lightly on top of the head.
As he drifted back to sleep, she felt her heart shift. She knew in that moment that it was not just respect and friendship that she felt for him. It was love. She knew what love felt like. She had known her entire life what it felt like because of Robert. She had thought she would never feel that way again, but she could not deny that she felt it when she looked at Liam. The real question, of course, was what to do about it.
Chapter 6
Weeks passed and Liam healed. Anna stayed close to him, watching his wounds and helping him to get around as he healed. Each day, though, he needed her less and less. Soon enough, he was walking about the ranch and giving orders to his men as if nothing had happened. Each day he pulled further and further from her, returning more to the way things had been when she first arrived at the ranch. As she watched him heal, she also watched for any signs that he had changed his heart; any sign that he might let another person in, but she saw no signs. All she saw was a man who was working hard to put the walls around his heart securely back up.
At first, she thought that she could continue on as they had been. She had resigned herself to that life when she arrived and she thou
ght that she could continue but each day it grew harder and harder to be so near the man that she loved while knowing that he would never allow himself to feel anything for her. It was then that she realized that she needed to leave him. Staying with him and never having his love would be just as painful as it would have been if she had stayed in West Virginia, surrounded by the ghost of the life that she had had with Robert before he was taken from her. At least her memories of Robert were filled with love, both hers for him and his for her.
She could not leave, though, until she knew that he was entirely healed. On the day that she saw him mount his horse and ride out with the men for the first time, she knew that the time had come. She packed only a small bag that she could carry herself. It was not hard no decide which few items to bring with her. She would not need much where she was going.
She knew, of course, that Liam would take her leaving badly. He had been left once before by a woman and it might cause him pain, though more to his pride than his heart. She knew, though, if she had to face him and tell him that she was leaving she would lose her nerve and stay, only to be miserable for the rest of her days. She had promised Robert on his death bed that she would lead a happy life and she could not allow herself to break her last promise to him.
All that was left to do was write a note for him. He would, of course, come looking for her when he arrived home to find that dinner had not been prepared. She kept is simple, saying only:
Liam,
Thank you for providing me with a home here. I have enjoyed each day more than the last. Circumstances have changed, making it impossible for me to stay. Know that I will think kindly of you all the days of my life and that I will remain your loyal wife until my dying day.
Sincerely,
Anna
She could not help but leave a note for Hank too. She knew that he would be hurt by her leaving. He had seemed to have hope that she and Liam could come to have a true marriage and he would be so disappointed that she was running away, taking that possibility with her. She wrote to him:
Hank,
Thank you for your kindness during my time here. You have been the one true friend that I have had during my time at Vista Roja. Look after Liam for me. I made enough dressing for the wound to last two months. It is in the pantry.
Anna
She placed both sealed notes on the table and made her way on foot back towards the train stop. She had thought of taking the mare that Liam had used to teach her to ride, but there would be no way of making sure that the creature was returned to him and she did not want to take anything from him or the ranch that did not belong to her.
It was many hours later, when the men returned from work that they found the notes on the table in place of the meal that they were expecting. As soon as Liam finished reading the note, he threw it to the ground and grabbed the closest thing to him, a small statue of a horse, and smashed it to pieces on the ground.
“Sir, what is the meaning of this?” Hank asked Liam.
“She is gone. She has left. ‘Circumstances have made it impossible’ for her to stay. What the hell does that even mean?” he asked, his rage and hurt apparent. “What did her note to you say?” he asked suddenly, realizing that he was not the only one she had left a message for.
“It asks that I take care of you for her. She left instructions for keeping you wound dressed,” Hank answered, looking as though he was baffled by what was happening.
“What does she care if the wound turns sour? She did not care enough to stay,” Liam said bitterly.
“Are you going to just let her go?” Hank demanded.
“What choice do I have? She is gone. If she does not want to stay, I will not force her to,” he snapped as he rose to go to her room, confirming that she was truly gone. Liam was shocked to see that almost all of her belongings were still in place. All that was gone were a few personal trinkets and the two dresses she wore most often when doing the most difficult work around the ranch.
Hank followed him and could not keep himself from saying, “The foolish girl left with nothing but the cloths on her back.”
“She took a few things,” Liam said, running his hands over the brown dress that they had married in, left hanging in her wardrobe.
“She took only what she could carry. She did not leave here on a horse. It is a full day’s walk to the train station. You could catch up with her,” Hank urged.
“And what, find her there meeting her lover as they ride off to a new life? No, I will not track an unfaithful woman across the country. I will not search for her only to find that she does not love me. I will not,” he said stubbornly.
“You love her, don’t you?” Hank asked in amazement.
“I do not see how that matters,” Liam said dismissively.
“It matters because that woman did not leave her because she does not love you. If I had to wager, she left here because she thinks that you do not and cannot love her. She is a tender hearted thing and she had been through so much in her life. Maybe she just decided that she did not want to damn herself to a life of loving a man who will not let her in to his heart,” Hank answered, nearly yelling at his employer.
“How could you know that?” Liam asked, staring out the window in the direction of the train station, wondering how many hours poor Anna had been walking just to get away from him.
“Because I have watched her. You should have seen her face when we carried you in here after you were shot. She looked like her whole world was falling apart when she thought that you were already dead. The second that she knew that there was a chance you could make it, she threw herself in to helping you. She did not do that because she respects you or even likes you as a person. She worked like the devil to save you because she was working to save the man who she loved,” Hank pointed out, unsure how Liam had missed the signs of Anna’s feelings for him.
“Just because she is a caring and compassionate woman who took care of me does not mean that she loves me. I did not say she was not a caring, loving woman,” he said dismissively.
“You have been punishing that girl since she arrived,” Hank yelled, smashing his fist down on the table.
“You do not know what you are talking about,” Liam said, his own temper rising.
“You have been punishing her for Melanie leaving you. You have kept her at arm’s length. Every time you felt yourself getting close to her, you pulled away. She is not Melanie. They may both be beautiful woman, but that is the only thing they share. Anna is the most loyal female I have ever seen and you have been treating her like she is that whore who left you at the altar,” Hank said, making no effort to hide his contempt.
“I did that for her. What do I have to offer her? I am a broken man. Melanie broke my heart. Anna deserves more than the pieces of a man’s heart. She deserves someone who can love her fully,” Liam said, no longer hiding his pain and confusion.
“How can you say such things to me and not admit them to her?” Hank asked in shock. To have such a chance at love and not take full advantage of it incomprehensible to him. Hank was one of the few people who had been on the ranch since the time when Melanie had broken his hart. He had watched Liam turn from a young man, deeply in love and optimistic about the future, to a bitter man who thought of nothing but work and business. It had been a hard thing to watch and it was even harder to watch him turn on his one chance to have love in his life again.
“She had a true love. She does not want me to be her husband. She liked our arrangement as it was. Anna does not love me,” he said stubbornly, unwilling to admit that he was allowing the one true love of his life to leave him.
“If she was so happy with the way things were, why is she gone?” Hank left before turning and leaving Liam alone with his thoughts. Liam only hesitated for a moment before running at top speed for the stable. He could still catch her and he needed to try. He needed to try to let himself be happy, even if he was risking breaking his heart all over again.
Chapter
7
Liam rode like lightening towards the train station. Knowing that she was on foot made it easier to know the path that she had taken. She would need to stick to the smoothest path. Still, it was a long, arduous journey on foot and it did not take her very long on horseback to find her. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her outline on the horizon. He spurred the horse on even faster and he was upon her in moments.
“Where the hell are you going?” he shouted as she jumped off the horse’s back to confront her. It took her a moment before she could answer him. She was so shocked that he had come after her. It was clear that he was angry and hurt. It shocked her that he cared enough about her to feel such emotions at her departure. She knew it would be an inconvenience for him, but such feels came of true caring.
“I am going home,” she said stubbornly, shaking the thought that he might actually care for her out of her head.
“This is your home. There is nothing left for you there,” he snapped, grabbing the handle of the bag that she was struggling to carry and yanking it from her hands.
“I cannot stay here like this,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.
“We had an arrangement. I have never broken it or mistreated you, have I?” he demanded, looking as though he might just lift her up and throw her over the back of his horse.
“No,” she said, pausing before saying more. She felt her own anger rising and she knew that she was on the verge of telling him exactly how she felt and exactly why she was leaving him.
“Then why are you leaving me. Answer me!” he ordered. Still, Anna kept her feelings in check. She did not want to burden him with her confession of love. If he knew, she was quite sure that he would wish her well and send her on her way, never wanting to see her again if he knew that she loved him.