by Tracy Brown
Dominique stared at her sister in silence. Here they were, with their father’s life hanging in the balance, and all Whitney could talk about was her husband. “Does Chris realize that your father is in a coma right now? Does he think that you should give a fuck whether or not you left money for him at a time like this?”
Whitney shrugged her shoulders. “That’s what I’m saying!” Her cell phone rang and she pulled it out of her purse. Looking at the screen, she pointed and said, “That’s him now.” She got up and walked over to a secluded section of the waiting room to talk to her husband. Dominique, meanwhile, was growing angrier by the minute. Figuring that she needed to get some much-needed rest, she was relieved when the doctor emerged and told her that Bill had been moved to a private room on the third floor and that his tests had been completed. “It will take a day or two to get the results back,” he explained. “In the meantime, we’ll just keep hoping that he wakes up soon.”
Dominique and Whitney led the kids up to the room where Bill lay still in his bed. Whitney went to her father’s side and broke down in tears when she saw his condition. When she composed herself, she asked Dominique what all the machines were for. Dominique, feeling like a pro now that she had asked a ton of questions throughout the night, explained them all to her sister. Finally, fatigue caught up with her and she told Whitney that she was going to take a break from holding vigil at the hospital in order to go and pick up Octavia and get some sleep. Whitney agreed, glad that her sister was going to get a break, and Dominique left the hospital and headed for Toya’s place in Brooklyn.
Hours later, Whitney and her two teenagers sat in the hospital waiting room, sleeping with their heads resting on one another’s shoulders. Dominique came in with Toya and Octavia in tow and stood there in amazement as she looked at her sister. She turned to Toya in shock.
“This bitch is crazy.”
Toya frowned. “Has she even been in to see your father?”
Dominique figured that there was only one way to find out. She walked over and shook Whitney awake. Whitney opened her eyes and stretched, then smiled at her sister. “Hey, sis. Did you get any sleep?”
“I see that you did.” Dominique didn’t bother to hide her anger. “Have you been in to see Daddy?”
Whitney nodded. “I went in there a couple of hours ago. Nothing has changed.”
Toya shook her head. Dominique had told her that her sister was something else, but this was more than she had expected. “So you slept out here?” Toya asked. “You could have slept in your father’s room instead. If he did wake up, you wouldn’t have known. Or worse, if he passed away he would have been all by himself with you out here sleeping.”
Whitney was annoyed that this stranger had the nerve to question her. “I’m sorry . . . who are you?”
“Toya Blake, Dominique’s friend.” There was no softness whatsoever in Toya’s tone. In her opinion, this bitch was a sorry excuse for a daughter. When Dominique had come by that morning, she had cried herself to sleep at the thought of losing her father. She had told Toya how she hadn’t slept a wink the night before and how she had held vigil at her father’s side without so much as a bathroom break. And here Bill’s firstborn was, snoozing in the waiting room. Toya had already decided that she didn’t like Whitney at all.
Dominique shook her head in disgust. “I’m going in to see Daddy,” she said flatly, then turned and went into her father’s room. When she stepped inside, she was pleased to see that the nurses had given her father a shave and bathed him. The blood that had been all over his clothes and hands the night before was gone, and he looked so much better. She walked over to him and kissed his face. “It’s me, Daddy. Mimi. Told you I would be back soon.” She settled into the chair beside his bed as Octavia stepped into the room. Seeing that her grandfather’s condition was graver than she had expected, she erupted into sobs, and Dominique rushed over to console her daughter.
Toya watched the scene from the doorway and fought back tears of her own. She thought about her own father and how she didn’t give a damn whether he lived or died. She felt her heart break a little at how sad that was, and abruptly left the room, leaving Dominique and her daughter to have some time alone with Mr. Storms. Toya returned to the waiting room and saw that Whitney was on the phone with that husband of hers again, sitting off in the corner while her children watched cartoons on the waiting room TV.
Toya sat down beside Janet and Andrew. “So, guys,” she said. “Have you been in to see your grandfather?”
They both shook their heads no. “I’m not good with hospitals,” Andrew explained.
Toya frowned slightly. “But this is your grandfather. Don’t you think you should make an exception for him?”
Andrew shrugged, and Janet didn’t bother to respond at all. Toya couldn’t believe the aloofness coming from Whitney and her kids. While Whitney was over in the corner, seemingly arguing with her husband about something, her father was in the next room fighting for his life. Meanwhile, her kids seemed completely unconcerned about the man who was supposed to be their reason for coming to New York in the first place.
Finally, Whitney hung up the phone. She came over to where Toya sat with the kids and smiled at her. “So you’ve been friends with my sister for a while now, huh?”
Toya nodded, stared at Whitney, and said nothing.
Whitney nodded as well, searching for a way to fill the awkward silence. “That’s good. I’m glad she has friends like you to look out for her since I live so far away.”
Toya continued to stare at Whitney for several moments. “Well, you’re not so far away now. So here’s your chance to be there for your sister.”
Whitney frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“You came all the way here—for free, I might add.”
“That’s really none of your business. I don’t even know you like that.” Whitney really didn’t like this bitch.
“True, you don’t. But you know I’m telling the truth. Your father is in there dying, and you’re out here arguing on the phone. Dominique could use your support now. If you keep this up, when all is said and done, she’s not gonna want to have shit to do with you. I know I wouldn’t.” Toya got up and strolled to the ladies’ room, leaving Whitney to think about what she’d said. By the time Toya returned, Dominique and Octavia had joined their family in the waiting room.
“Toya, I think it’ll be good if we take the kids back to Daddy’s house for a little while. They don’t need to be up here all day dealing with all this sadness and everything.” She held Octavia’s hand, since her daughter was falling apart emotionally. “Whitney, you might as well stay there with the kids since you seem to be so sleepy.”
Whitney caught the sarcasm in her sister’s tone and the sidelong glance Toya shot at her. She nodded and followed Dominique out to the car. They rode back to Bill’s apartment in the Mariners Harbor projects in silence, everyone lost in their own thoughts. When they arrived they piled into the elevator for the ride to his apartment on the sixth floor. As soon as the elevator doors shut, Andrew sucked in air in an audible attempt to hold his breath on the project elevator. Toya and Dominique looked over at him as if he had lost his mind.
“Why are you doing that?” Dominique asked her nephew.
“It smells like pee,” he explained, his nose scrunched up as if he would pass out if he took a deep breath.
Toya wanted to snatch his bourgeois ass by the neck and toss him off the elevator as they arrived at their designated floor. They all followed Dominique and Octavia as they led the way down the hall to Bill’s apartment. Once inside, they began to get comfortable. Dominique turned the TV on and showed Whitney where everything was. Toya found it odd that Whitney didn’t know her way around her own father’s home, and she questioned it.
“Whitney, when was the last time you’ve been here to visit your dad?”
Whitney seemed to think about it. “About six years ago, I think. Yeah. It was right around the time he
started dialysis.”
Toya nodded, really wondering how long it would take before Dominique told her sister off. It sounded to her like Whitney thought she was too good to come home once she’d made it out. Toya saw Octavia kick her shoes off and make herself at home on the sofa, while her cousin Janet sat on the very edge of the couch as if the furniture wasn’t even worthy of her ass.
Andrew asked his mother if they could go out and buy some soda or something else to drink. “I’m thirsty,” he explained.
Dominique shook her head. “You don’t have to go out and buy soda. There’s plenty of juice and stuff in Daddy’s fridge. Go in there and help yourself.”
Andrew frowned and shook his head. “I don’t really want to touch anything,” he admitted. “It’s kinda disgusting in here.”
That was the final straw. Dominique lost it. “Let me tell you something, you ungrateful son of a bitch. This is your grandfather’s house. He’s in that hospital fighting for his life and you’re supposed to be here to rally around him in support. Instead, you sit up at the hospital all day without bothering to go inside his room to even see him. Then you’re on the elevator holding your breath, and now you’re sitting on the edge of the furniture like you’re too good to be here.” She glared at her niece and nephew. “And you have the fucking nerve to say that it’s ‘disgusting’ in here?” She seemed amazed at their audacity. “Did you know that your mother grew up in the projects? We both did. We were raised in this very apartment. So how dare you act as if this is too far beneath you! If it wasn’t for your grandfather, your mother wouldn’t even be here. That means that you wouldn’t be here, either. So for as long as you’re in my presence, you will respect that man and his house. I don’t care what your mother lets you get away with, but don’t try that shit when I’m around!”
Whitney spoke up. “Your aunt is right,” she said, although she herself didn’t seem too comfortable in these surroundings.
Toya scowled at Whitney. “You should be telling them how to behave, not their aunt!”
Whitney shrugged her shoulders. “I know they’re wrong for acting like that, but I’m glad that they feel comfortable enough to express themselves,” she said.
Toya had heard enough. “Express, my ass! There’s some shit they should be ashamed to express.” Seeing that Dominique was on the verge of going completely off, she nudged her friend toward the door. “Let’s go back to the hospital,” she said. Dominique stormed out, with Toya hot on her heels. They’d both had enough of Whitney and her uppity kids.
Toya was just as vexed as her friend as they headed out to the car. “Do those little stuck-up fuckers know that their mother doesn’t have a pot to piss in? Yet they’re sitting in there acting like they live in Beverly Hills and they’ve never been exposed to such filth. I woulda had to kick Whitney’s ass if I were you!”
Dominique was livid. “They’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me! Daddy would be so disappointed in Whitney right now, letting her kids act like that! And what the fuck did she come up here for if she was just gonna sit in the waiting room and sleep?”
Toya shook her head and stared out the window. “Just don’t think about her right now. It’s all about your father.”
They got back to the hospital, and Dominique went straight to her father’s room. Toya sat out in the waiting room, astonished by all that she’d witnessed that day. She thought about her own father again. She knew that if her father passed away, she would continue on with her life as if nothing had happened. But that was because of the things she’d endured as a result of living under his tyranny for so long. She wondered what was causing Whitney to behave as if Bill were no more than a stranger to her while Dominique was clearly heartbroken over her father’s illness.
Dominique sat beside her father’s bed. She held his hand once again and began to cry. She had never felt more alone in her life. She was grateful for Toya, but she still felt as if she had no one to share her pain with. Octavia understood somewhat. After all, she had certainly been closer to her grandfather than any of his other grandchildren. Still, there was no comparison to the hole in Dominique’s heart that existed in her father’s absence. She leaned in and told her dad that she would give anything to hear his voice again, to see his smile or enjoy his laughter. Dominique laid her head on her father’s chest and cried. When she looked up, she was startled to see that his eyes had finally opened.
“Nurse! Somebody!” she yelled. “He’s awake!”
Two nurses rushed into the room, followed by Dr. Yang. Dominique watched as they called her father’s name and shined a light in his eyes. He was breathing very heavily, and they said that his blood pressure was dropping. His heart rate was extremely high, and they gave him a shot to calm him down. At Dr. Yang’s request, Dominique stepped out into the hallway while they attempted to stabilize him. She rushed into the waiting room and told Toya the good news.
“He’s awake!” Dominique was overjoyed and Toya was, too. She was praying that Mr. Storms pulled through, because she feared that her friend would never be the same again if he didn’t. The two friends jumped up and down together, and Dominique beamed with joy. Then Dr. Yang stepped in and shattered their celebration.
“Miss Storms,” he began. “Your father’s blood pressure is dropping rapidly. Right now it’s at forty over sixty. We’ve already given him numerous transfusions and we are unable to give him another one due to the fever he’s running. I must urge you to sign the DNR—”
“No!” She was angry now. “If it’s his time to go, then that’s up to God, not me. I’m not giving up on him yet.” She pushed past the doctor and headed straight for her father’s room. Once inside, she sat by his side and watched as the nurses milled around with defeated expressions on their faces. Toya stood in the doorway and watched as an Indian nurse touched Dominique’s back softly.
“He’s tired, sweetheart,” she said, looking at Mr. Storms. “Sometimes they hold on because we tell them to. Maybe he’s just waiting for you to tell him that it’s okay to let go.”
Dominique was crying softly. “But it’s not okay,” she said softly. Even as she watched her father struggling to breathe, watched him unable to talk with the tube in his throat, she shook her head in denial. “He’s not done living yet.”
The nurse patiently soothed her and touched her hand. “Sometimes,” she said, “it’s not really up to us.” She turned and walked out of the room, leaving Dominique to think about what she’d said. Dominique squeezed her father’s hand.
“Daddy . . .” Dominique wiped the tears away, determined to be strong despite the fact that she was falling apart inside. “I don’t know if they’re right. Maybe they are, and I’m the one who’s wrong.” She sniffled, then swallowed hard. “But I just want to tell you that if you’re tired . . . if you’re tired, Daddy, and you don’t feel like fighting anymore . . . it’s okay. You can let go, if you want to. And I’ll be okay. I’ll make sure that Octavia’s okay . . . Whitney and her kids, too. You don’t have to fight anymore if you don’t want to.”
She watched as her father’s gaze slowly, ever so slowly, shifted from staring absently at the ceiling to staring in her direction. It was as if he was looking to see if she meant what she said. Dominique smiled at her father. “I love you, Daddy. And I don’t want you to go. I don’t know what I would ever do without you. You’ve been there for me when I didn’t have anyone else on my side. You’ve been my best friend for my whole life.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “And I will miss you if you go. I will miss you so much.” She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “But I’ll understand if you feel like you can’t fight anymore. We’ll be okay. I promise you that.”
Bill’s eyes locked with his daughter’s. His gaze was strong and focused on her face. Weakly, he squeezed her hand. And little by little, Dominique could hear the heart monitor slow down. Soon the beeping ceased altogether, Bill’s hand went limp in hers, and she knew that her father was gone forever. She broke down in s
obs that shook her entire body, as the nurses and doctors came in to officially declare her father deceased. Toya walked in and wrapped her arms around her friend, held her close, and together they cried for Bill’s loss.
His funeral was held on a cold November morning with scores of people in attendance to mourn the loss of a class act. Toya, Camille, and Misa came to support her, and Dominique was grateful to have them there with her. She handled all of the arrangements single-handedly, as Whitney was still claiming poverty. But it was an honor for Dominique to give her father the service he deserved. She felt that it was one final act of love through which she could express the gratitude she felt for all the years he had stood solidly by her side, never wavering even for a moment.
At the repast, Whitney pulled her sister to the side. She cleared her throat and looked as if she had worked herself up to this moment for days. She took a deep breath and spoke at last. “Dominique, I just want to tell you that . . . we both lost our father. But you lost more than that. You lost your best friend. I didn’t have that relationship with him like you did.”
“That wasn’t Daddy’s fault,” Dominique pointed out. “You may not have been as close with him as I was. But that wasn’t because he didn’t try to be close to you. He did. He used to talk about how I had always been a daddy’s girl, while you never were. The minute you finished high school, you ran off and never looked back. I don’t blame you for that. We all want to branch out when we become adults. But you never came back, Whitney.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, not really. You came back every five or ten years, but that’s not really keeping in touch. Look at how your kids act at his house. It’s as if they’re in the home of a stranger who they feel is beneath them, and that’s your fault. They should have had a relationship with their family—not just Chris’s family, but your family as well. And they haven’t had that. As angry as I am with them for acting holier than thou, I can’t really blame them for it. You’re the one who owes it to them to make sure that they know all of who they are.” Dominique had been praying that God would soften her heart toward her sister. She didn’t want to hate Whitney or even dislike her. She knew that their father would want them to be closer than they were. And to honor him, Dominique extended an olive branch to her sister.