by Delia Latham
“I see. So what do you do now, when you’re not hanging out at the coast?”
She giggled, surprised she had one in her at the moment. “The same thing you do.”
Russ’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope. I manage a large greenhouse-slash-flower shop in Bakersfield. I don’t own the place, but the owner is rarely around. It’s pretty much my baby.”
“Wow. I would’ve never guessed.”
“Oh, really.” She snuggled in, grinning. “And why wouldn’t you think I’d like plants?”
He picked up her hand and made a show of looking it over. “You don’t have a green thumb.”
She laughed. “And you do?”
“Of course I do. It’s just—” He raised one hand, with the fingers held up and his thumb tucked behind the palm and out of sight. “Invisible.”
“Right. And I have hair the color of the sunset.” She rolled her eyes. “Russ Amundsen, you certainly have a way with words.”
He hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her face upward so he could touch his lips to hers. “Yeah, maybe, but…” He dipped in again, giving her a teasing taste of his lips and then pulling away to run the pad of his thumb over hers—parted and slightly a-tremble. “I think I’ve done enough talking for tonight. One last kiss, and then you need to scoot home...er…back to the lodge.”
“Mmm.” She hooked her hands behind his neck and urged him closer. “I think we finally found something we can agree on.”
14
Over the next few days, Autumn found herself in full-blown panic mode.
What had she done? She had no business entering into a romantic relationship, especially with a man who didn’t live in Bakersfield. Her home and her job…her life was there. What about the pact she’d made with Ceci? Of course, that one hardly mattered anymore, since Ceci had already shot it down with her own romance.
Still, what made her think her venture into the love arena would end any better than all those friends whose marriages she’d watched crash and burn?
Not that she thought, even for a moment, that Russ was thinking about marriage. But she had to think ahead to every possible scenario.
Dalynn already considered Autumn a part of her life. Her sweet heart had taken Autumn in with no holds barred. The pain of her mother’s abandonment was most likely only a hazy memory—if she actually remembered it at all—so the child had no point of reference, nothing to make her think twice about giving her heart to a stranger. A woman becoming a permanent part of the home she shared with her father would bring about lots of changes that might be difficult to absorb, but again, Dalynn didn’t know that.
Almost a week after the evening that still sent delightful shivers through her body when she thought about it, Autumn took a tall, iced beverage outside. She went downstairs to sit beneath the shade of a huge sycamore tree. Leaning against the trunk, she propped the glass between her legs and rested her head against the tree.
Her thoughts returned immediately to Russ, and she smiled. He’d been such a gentleman that night. Things could have become far more heated…Autumn had certainly been in a mood to be more physically forthcoming. But when things reached a certain level of heat, Russ stood, distancing himself from her.
“Sweetheart, we need to stop before this gets out of control.” He reached for her hand and pulled her up beside him.
Dazed and confused, she’d wanted nothing more than to be crazy for once in her life and just let things happen. “Did I do something wrong?”
He reached for her but stopped short of pulling her into his arms. Instead, he lifted her chin and placed a sweet, short kiss on her lips. “No, Autumn. You’ve done nothing wrong, and I want to keep it like that. We have to handle this relationship the right way. God’s way.”
She shook her head. “What does God have to do with this?”
He chuckled, took her hand, and led her toward the front door. “Everything. Any relationship has the best chance of surviving if God is at the heart of it. He’s given us a few rules to live by, and becoming too physical outside of marriage is one of the things He has set up as out of bounds.”
“I see.” Two little words that wrapped up the biggest lie of her entire life.
“No, you don’t, sweetheart.” Russ gave her a one-armed hug and stepped away. “I know you don’t, and I’m sorry. But we’ll work on that. I want you to know God, Autumn. In fact, that’s another reason we can’t take this to the next level. I can’t tie my life to someone who doesn’t love my Lord as much as I do.” He pulled her back into his arms, where he held her in a loose embrace. “I’ll even introduce you to Him. Actually, nothing would give me greater joy than to do that.”
“O…K.” Her emotions in that moment were hard to define. She didn’t exactly feel rejected, but then again, she kind of did. Mostly, she was confused. But something about Russ’s actions also made her proud of him. His refusal to take things further, even though she’d been momentarily willing, elicited a respect she’d never felt for any man.
Russ had been under tremendous stress for two years, trying to be mother and father to Dalynn. Despite that ongoing pressure, and the resulting obsessive-compulsive behavior, the man possessed an amazing inner strength. He cared about her in a special way, far beyond the physical attraction that had become obvious during the course of the evening. That he would refuse a sexual relationship before marriage made her think even more highly of him…although she couldn’t say why. Whatever made Russ who he was…well, it was amazing. Too bad it wasn’t free for the taking to every man and woman in the world.
She missed him. He’d been busy since that night, making several runs into neighboring towns for supplies and deliveries. She’d wondered why he didn’t invite her along, but he called often, so she didn’t feel that he was avoiding her—at least, her head said he wasn’t. Her heart was a wishy-washy mess of doubt. Why hadn’t he managed to see her since they’d let the walls down between them? Maybe he was having second thoughts.
Jay! Jay! Jay!
Autumn’s eyes popped open. It had been a while since Mr. Blue put in an appearance. He wasn’t the only blue jay in Cambria, but that raucous call made her search the sky.
He flew in from the other side of the Lodge. That it was “her” blue jay couldn’t be left to doubt when he zoomed up and landed on the grass a couple of feet away.
“Well, hello, my friend.” Autumn spoke softly. “It’s about time you come calling again.”
Mr. Blue fluffed his feathers and hopped in a circle. Nothing dangled from his beak.
“You didn’t bring me a gift? Don’t you know you shouldn’t let a lady down after building up such high expectations?”
The bird cocked his head one way and then the other. He spread his wings and shot straight up into the branches above Autumn’s head.
“Well, that was a short visit.” She chuckled. “I didn’t mean to offend.”
She’d actually been looking forward to another charm to add to her collection. Seriously, girl. Those special deliveries were most likely coincidence. You don’t really expect them to continue, do you?
Kerplunk. Something dropped into her glass.
“Oh!” Autumn peered into the liquid and looked up. “That’s no way to deliver a gift, Mr. Blue.” She poured the contents onto the grass and fished the charm out of the ice.
Jay! Jay!
The bird landed on the ground, where he gave her a beady gaze.
“Hey, now. You just relax, little dude. You made me work for my goody this time, so you can wait a second while I dry this thing off.” She made a show of rubbing the charm against her jeans—first one side and then the other. “There, now I’ll read the message of the day. Are you ready?”
The jay lifted his crest, opened his beak and sang a short tune—queedle-queedle, queedle-queedle. Shivers raced up and down Autumn’s body. Miss Angie’s representation of that sound had been exact. Too exact. How could any human being so precisely re
plicate that bit of birdsong?
She narrowed her gaze at the copycat songster. “So now you’re serenading me when you bring gifts. I appreciate it, but I really have to be honest right up front. This can never work between us. My heart belongs to another.”
Queedle-queedle! The bird cocked his head and hopped closer as if delighted.
Autumn sucked in a breath, shocked by her own unplanned words. They turned her skin to ice, even as they created a fire of fear in her heart.
Jay! The blue jay apparently had tired of queedling. He hopped close and pecked at the charm still resting on her leg.
She exhaled slowly and then drew in another deep, calming breath. “OK, Mr. Blue. I’m reading, I’m reading.” She lifted the engraved square to eye level. “Love is not easily angered. Hmm…” Returning the charm to her jean-clad leg, she crossed her arms and eyed the bird. “That’ll be a hard one for me, my friend. I’m afraid this red hair of mine comes with a ‘hair’-trigger temper.” She giggled. “Excuse me, sir. Red hair sounds so boring. I meant sunset-colored tresses, of course.”
The bird burst into another chorus.
Autumn was awed. Why was he bringing her these gifts? How did he know in what order to deliver them? Where was he getting the charms?
The jay finished his song and hopped closer. She waited for him to perch on her shoulder again. But Mr. Blue hopped up on her outstretched leg, picked up the charm, and turned it over. Then he hopped further up her leg and squawked, “Jay!”
Autumn chuckled. “All right, already. If I reach for it, will you fly away?” She eased her fingers toward the charm and picked it up.
Mr. Blue remained where he was.
“…does not keep a record of wrongs,” she read aloud. “So, you’re telling me I need to be sweet-tempered and forgiving. Look, little dude, you have no idea who you’re talking to. That’s just not me. I’m sorry.” Her eyes widened as a sudden thought threatened to freeze her brain. “Oh, no! Have you been bringing these things to the wrong girl?”
The bird lifted himself off her leg and hovered there for a moment, his little round eyes far from expressionless. Autumn would have sworn they held contempt. Just when she thought he’d launch himself into the air, he dropped to her leg again and delivered a stinging peck.
“Ouch! What was that for?”
Mr. Blue hopped a couple of feet away and turned to shoot her another angry look. Then he flew away.
A soft chuckle startled Autumn. She looked up, surprised to find Miss Angie standing a few feet away.
“Apparently, he knows he’s bringing them to the right girl. I believe you insulted your little friend.” She stepped closer and indicated the lawn next to Autumn. “May I?”
“Of course.” With her hostess settled in, Autumn smiled and handed Miss Angie the charm. “This is today’s offering.”
The older woman read both sides, and then looked at Autumn. “Oh, I guess he isn’t bringing them exactly in order. He missed one.”
“No, I just forgot to tell you about the last one.” She launched into the story, leaving nothing out, including Mr. Blue’s perch on her shoulder.
“That’s wonderful, dear—and quite unusual. God must love you so very much!”
Autumn blinked. “Why would you say that?”
Miss Angie lifted one white eyebrow. “Surely you don’t think things like this happen every day? That sassy blue friend of yours takes his orders directly from the Father. No other explanation makes sense. No blue jay would ever get so close to a human being by choice. Your little courier is being obedient to his Creator—the God who loves you so much He’s sending you love letters from His word via special messenger. You are blessed, child!”
Autumn stared at her hostess. Breath suddenly seemed hard to come by. Could it be true? God actually knew who she was—her, Autumn Warren—and loved her enough to send special little notes of love? “You really think God is sending messages just for me?”
“Oh, yes, dear. I do indeed.”
“But…” She shook her head. “Why me? I’m nobody special. I don’t deserve such attention from…uhm…God.”
“Well, that’s true, dear. None of us deserve God’s love. But He loves us anyway. It’s called grace. Isn’t it wonderful?”
Autumn couldn’t think of a word to say. God loved her? He was sending Mr. Blue with messages just for her? God, Himself? She wasn’t worthy. Tears burned her eyes and rushed down her face. Oh, horrors! Tears again, and they were so not her thing. She didn’t cry, not even in private, and here she was being tearful in front of Miss Angie—again.
Her hostess slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “Those tears are precious to our Father, dear. Just let them flow.”
Finally, she raised her head and fixed a damp gaze on the older woman. “Miss Angie, how does a person get to know God?”
Blue eyes shone with a light so beautiful Autumn felt she ought to look away—surely such beauty wasn’t meant for human eyes. But she couldn’t.
“Getting to know God isn’t a secret rite of passage, sweet child.” Miss Angie’s soft voice soothed Autumn’s turbulent soul. “Salvation is a gift He wants to give us. Romans six, twenty-three says, ‘the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.’ He makes it easy, because He longs to be a part of our lives. He wants us to know Him…each of us, and all of us.” She reached into the folds of her garment, and pulled out a small Bible.
How many of those little books did Miss Angie have hidden away on her person?
“May I read something to you?”
Autumn wanted to hear. Such a response was so unlike her that she wondered if Ceci had been right to question whether some alien being had taken over her body.
“It’s from the book of John, chapter three, verse sixteen.” Miss Angie smiled and squeezed Autumn’s hand before beginning to read. “‘For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.’ You see, dear, God took on the punishment for all the sins of the world. Now all we have to do is believe it. Just choose to believe He loves us so much that He died to save us. Acts sixteen thirty-one makes it clear, and shows just how easy it is. ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.’”
“That’s it?” Autumn found it hard to believe salvation could be quite so free and easy. “Miss Angie, are you sure? Because if that’s true, then why would anyone choose not to believe, knowing the difference is a matter of not just life and death but eternal salvation or damnation?”
A deep sadness dimmed the beautiful light in the other woman’s eyes, and Autumn almost wished she hadn’t asked—except she really needed to know the answer.
“Oh, sweet child, I wish I knew. That’s a question I don’t have an answer for. Why would any of God’s children choose not to believe He loves them, that He made a way for them to be saved? Seems to me, it’s the easier and far more preferable choice. But mankind often uses the Father’s gift of free will to buck against God’s will. It brings about quite a sad state of existence for much of humanity.”
“What if a person believes? Does God just know…or doesn’t one need to say something to him?” She blushed. Never before had she realized how clueless she was about all things biblical. “On Sunday at church, Ceci went up front and…well, I don’t really know what happened up there.”
“Why, she just told God that she believed, and that she wanted Him to live in her heart. He makes being a believer so easy, my dear.” She hesitated, and then laid a gentle hand on Autumn’s arm. “You know, Ceci gave her heart to Christ during a church service, but it can happen anytime, anywhere. Even right here under this tree, if…anyone…should want to give her heart to the Lord.”
“You mean, like…right now? Right here? I could do that?”
“Yes, Autumn, you could.”
A great weight seemed to lift from Autumn’s soul. “Will you help me, Miss Angie?”
“
It would be my great pleasure.” Tears welled up in a pair of eyes the color of the heavens, and made swift trails down the older woman’s cheeks. She turned to face Autumn and took both of her hands. “Would you like me to lead you in prayer? You can repeat after me, if you’d like. And then, if you have something more to say to the Father, you just keep on talking to Him.”
“I don’t think I know how to—you know, talk to God.”
“Why, just like you talk to me.”
Autumn smiled through a mist of tears. “Yes.” Making the agreement vocal seemed to free something in her spirit and she grinned through the tears that continued to fall. “I’d like you to lead me in prayer, Miss Angie. Right here, right now.”
15
Time passed in a gentle blur. The girls toured a famous lighthouse a few miles north of Cambria, oohed and ahhed at the elephant seals and laughed at the antics of the sea otters. They made a trip into the small ‘town’ of Harmony and fell in love with the old-world atmosphere, the charming shops and friendly people, the peace and quiet—although, with a population of exactly eighteen, Autumn wondered how it could possibly be anything other than peaceful and quiet.
She and Russ had taken a two-mile walk along the bluffs, and dined at every possible venue in the Village.
Ceci had offered to watch Dalynn while they’d enjoyed a day at Hearst Castle—a trip Russ prefaced with a quick stop in the Village at a ramshackle old home called Nitt Witt Ridge.
“I thought we should see the whole spectrum from poverty to wealth.” He made the comment as they stood across a narrow road from a rickety, three-story structure that seemed to have sprung from the hillside in disjointed, directionless spurts of unplanned growth. “The penniless man who built this place did it using supplies he found through his job as a garbage collector—things other people threw away—and items he found in the woods and on the beach. He did it all with his own hands—right down to using pick and shovel to hollow out a place on this hillside for the home he dreamed of building.” Russ reached out to tug on a strand of Autumn’s hair. “But despite the vastly different end product, I think it’d be safe to say ol’ Captain Nitt Witt—which is what the locals called Art Beal—possessed no less sense of pride of ownership than the wealthy gentleman who paid others to build the fairytale castle we’re visiting today.”