“This is nice.” Chelsea nuzzled her nose in the crease of his neck, and he breathed in sharply at the sensations it sent through him.
“Maybe this was more dangerous than I thought,” he whispered. “I’m still a warm-blooded man, and I can’t do anything about this,” he growled low.
“Mom’s ready,” Dane shouted toward them. “Get to the table before Dad eats all the turkey.”
They both laughed, and Chelsea placed a gentle kiss on his lips before he stood. “We can’t keep your mom waiting.”
No, he knew that was a bad idea anytime.
Christmas music played while the entire Walker family ate dinner around the table. It had changed a bit, Chelsea noted, as she looked around. Once, she’d eaten among them all, and she was the only girlfriend there. Now Eric sat next to his wife, Susan. Dane sat next to his fiancée Gia. Ben and Gerald took their positions on each side of Everett at the end of the extended table.
But really, the big difference was that she was back at this same table, years later. Her seat was next to Russell’s as it always had been, and Lucas, in his highchair, was between them—as if they were a family.
The thought caught in her chest, and she swallowed hard. Her fingers itched to touch the necklace at her throat, but she didn’t want to draw attention to it. It held a bit of a secret—Russell had gone to town to get it. Glenda would be furious.
Lucas had seen the many wrapped gifts under the tree, and he was old enough to understand that he wanted to unwrap them.
Chelsea did her best to keep him seated in his chair.
“It’s no wonder you’re so skinny,” Glenda said to her as she tried to help Lucas with his dinner. “You don’t eat. He’ll be fine. It’ll make it to his mouth or on the floor. You need to eat too.”
“Oh, I’d rather help him than mess up your nice carpet.”
Glenda leaned in toward her over the table. “Sweetheart, this house has seen my five young boys run through it, and two more before them, when their father and his brother were children. One more isn’t going to hurt it. And I’ll tell you what. He’s already making my Christmas brighter, so he couldn’t possibly make a mess big enough to take that away from me.”
She caught Russell’s stare, and it brought a warmth to her. Yes, she’d taken a turn from this family—from Russell—but fate had brought her back here. This was where she belonged.
The doorbell diverted everyone’s attention from the meal, and Glenda’s eyes grew wide. “Lucas, do you want to go with me and see who’s at the door?”
Eager to jump down from his chair, Lucas nodded and reached for his mother.
Chelsea quickly cleaned him off and pulled him from the chair. He raced around the table to take Glenda’s hand, and together they hurried to the door.
“I need to get my phone and take some pictures,” she said as she too hurried around Russell and the table.
She could hear the jingle of bells, a mighty “Ho-ho-ho”, and then the joyous squeal of her son’s voice all before she got to where they stood.
Lucas jumped up and down, still gripping tightly to Glenda’s hand. Chelsea took a picture and then looked at Santa, who smiled widely. Those were familiar eyes beyond that beard. Was there nothing Officer Phillip Smythe wouldn’t do for her and her son? The thought made her chuckle. What would Lydia think of her nemesis now?
“Merry Christmas, Lucas,” Santa said, and Lucas’s eyes went wide. “Can you help me with my bag?”
Lucas nodded, and with one hand still gripping tightly to Glenda’s, he wrapped his other hand around Santa’s bag and helped him drag it into the living room.
Chelsea could hear the others chuckle, and she hoped they wouldn’t give away the identity of Santa.
“You’re strong,” Santa said to Lucas. “Now, where can I sit so that I can visit with my little friend?”
“Santa, I have a chair all ready for you,” Glenda said gesturing to the chair next to the tree.
“Oh, that looks like a good chair.” Santa dragged his bag toward the tree, and Lucas followed. “Would you like to sit with me, Lucas?”
Lucas shifted a look to Glenda and then to Chelsea. Each of them nodded their encouragement.
He slowly took a step toward Santa, then took the hand he offered, and Santa hoisted him on his lap.
Chelsea was so caught up in the moment Glenda had to remind her to take the picture.
She lifted her phone, zoomed in the camera, and had to take a very deep breath. The smile on her son’s face was one she’d never seen before. That thrill and wonder of childhood was lit in his eyes. She’d feared from the moment he was born that Lucas wouldn’t know these kinds of joys, but she’d been wrong. He was seated on Santa’s lap and the whole world was right with him.
Chelsea took the picture and lowered her phone, only to realize that Russell was next to her now, reaching up to take her hand.
“Who knew he could be such a convincing Santa?” he whispered.
“He’s perfect.”
“I’m glad you’re both here, Chels,” he said, and she looked down at him. “I would have hated to have missed this moment in his life.”
Her lips twitched as the tears began to pool in her eyes.
Russell gave her hand a tug and pulled her down to his lap. “I love you both,” he whispered in her ear. “I can’t believe it took this to tell you that.”
“We love you. All of you,” she whispered back, resting her head against his. “I only wish his story had started here,” she admitted.
“It’s just starting, Chels. And so is our story.” He wrapped his arm around her and gave her a squeeze.
“Ho-ho-ho, I think I have something in my bag for you.” Santa looked at Lucas. “Do you like presents?”
Again he looked at Chelsea for approval, and she nodded.
Lucas nodded to Santa.
“I’m going to need your help to pull it out, okay?” Lucas nodded again and jumped down from Santa’s lap. “Reach inside, Lucas. Can you feel another bag?” Lucas nodded. “Pull that out.”
Lucas pulled as hard as he could, and then Ben got on his knees next to him. “You want some help?”
“Yes,” Lucas said with determination.
Ben grinned as he and Lucas pulled the bag from Santa’s bag. This bag had a bright red bow and pictures of Santa all over it. Ben found the end to the bow and pointed it out to Lucas. “Give this a pull,” he said.
Lucas pulled the ribbon, and the bag fell open around a brand new tricycle with police stickers and red and blue lights.
He hurried to get it out of the captive bag, with Ben’s help. And as soon as it was free, he climbed on.
Chelsea hurried to her feet to stop him, but both Glenda and Everett held up their hands to let her know he was free to drive it in their house. Truly they were kind people.
“Lucas, there’s a siren too,” Santa told him, his voice still deep to keep in character.
Lucas looked for the switch and quickly enough found it. He took his first lap from the living room, down the hall, through the kitchen, into the dining room, and back to a full room of people who cheered for him.
Quickly, Chelsea’s happy tears turned into a sob. She could never have given him a Christmas like this.
Santa stood and walked to her. He gave her a big hug, and she laughed through the tears as his squishy fat belly pressed against her.
“Merry Christmas, Chelsea,” he said softly.
“Merry Christmas, Santa.” She kissed him on his cheek. “I don’t know when, but I’ll pay for that tricycle. That’s too much.”
He shook his head. “He has a lot of friends in the police department who made that very special bag happen. There are a few more little things in there. We’ve got his back, and yours.”
The tears continued, and Russell guided her back to his lap. He pressed a finger to the necklace he’d given her. “See, your heart feeds others. Your kindness leads the way, sweetheart.”
She wished
she could look in his eyes and hear the words he spoke, and believe them. She’d hurt him so badly, what made him want to have her there, with her son, and love her as he was? This was the Russell Walker she’d known. This side of him that balanced out the hot-tempered one. She loved him. She’d always loved him.
“I’ll make it all right for you, Russell. I’ll make it all up. All the wrongs and all the missed opportunities. All of this,” she said acknowledging the room of people still cheering her son as he made yet another circle through the rooms.
“We have a lifetime to make up for three lost years. I think we can wash them under the bridge.”
He reached his hand up into her hair and pulled her close to him. Pressing his lips to her, she felt his promise. Through this tragedy, they had been given another chance and she sure as hell wasn’t going to ruin it.
Chapter Seventeen
Lucas had worn himself out. He’d ridden his new tricycle until he’d fallen asleep on the handlebars.
Gerald had then picked him up and laid him on the sofa with a stuffed bear, which Santa had also brought him.
Each of Russell’s brothers kissed their mother goodnight and then did the same to Chelsea. Gerald lingered and whispered, “I’m glad you’re back.”
Her heart was full, and she hadn’t expected that. The moment Phillip had told her that her ex was out on parole, her house had been broken into, and Russell Walker’s name was on her hospital board, she’d expected only horrible things to happen. Who knew, at such a time, it could go so right.
Everett walked into the kitchen when the last of the dishes were being loaded into the dishwasher. “Lucas’s bed is all set up for him, and the gate is in the doorway.”
“Thank you.” Chelsea moved to him and kissed his cheek. “I should go get him upstairs and get him tucked in.”
“Oh, well, I took some liberties.” He exchanged glances with Glenda, who smiled. “His bed is in Russell’s room.”
Chelsea felt her mouth drop open. “I don’t know if that’s…”
Glenda moved in and touched her arm. “I had him bring your things down too.” She moved in closer and whispered, “He’s better when you’re both closer. It’s time you be a family.”
Chelsea was sure she’d nearly stopped breathing. They may have once been inseparable, and destined to be together, but that was many years ago. Could that really be repaired in a few weeks?
She turned to Russell whose warm smile answered that question very simply.
“Bonus for me. My parents condone a girl sleeping in my room.”
She could feel the heat fill her cheeks. “Thank you,” was all she could say.
Chelsea scooped Lucas up off the sofa. He stirred awake and made sure he had his bear with him. Then, he caught sight of Russell and reached for him.
Russell lifted his arm, and Chelsea set him on Russell’s lap. Lucas looked up at him with sleepy eyes. “You tuck,” he said as he rested his head against Russell’s chest.
Chelsea watched as Glenda had to turn away and wipe the tear from her cheek. She wasn’t so sure Russell hadn’t done the same.
She got behind his chair and pushed their family into the bedroom to tuck in for the night.
Russell wasn’t usually the kind of man who let his emotions get the best of him. But the moment Lucas had reached for him, he realized he’d become a complete softy.
He loved this little boy as he much as he loved his mother. Russell kissed the top of his head as Chelsea lifted him from his lap.
Lucas woke in protest. “Dad tuck.”
Chelsea’s hand went straight to her mouth and nearly covered the sob. Her eyes moved to his, but he couldn’t read her. Were those happy or sad tears?
“His name is…” she began, and Russell lifted his hand to stop her.
“Let’s talk about this alone,” he whispered. “Lucas, let your mommy put on your pajamas. I’ll kiss you and Bear goodnight, and I’ll try to tuck you in. Okay?”
Lucas nodded slightly, climbed out of Russell’s chair, and went to Chelsea.
She set him on his little bed and began pulling off his clothes as his body swayed back and forth, since he was still mostly asleep.
“Mommy loves you,” she cooed and kissed him on the cheek.
“Wuv you,” he said as he cuddled the bear and laid on his pillow. Then, as if he’d received a jolt of energy, he sat up and reached for Russell.
“He can’t get out of his chair yet, Lucas,” Chelsea told him.
Lucas’s little forehead crinkled in thought. He climbed from the bed and went to Russell. In a quick move, and with Russell helping with his good arm, he climbed into the chair and wrapped his arms around Russell’s neck. “Wuv you, Daddy.” He kissed Russell’s cheek and climbed back down.
Without hesitation, he climbed into his bed and was immediately back to sleep.
Both Russell and Chelsea sat there silently, staring at him. If he could stand from that stupid chair, he’d walk outside in the cold and collect himself. The child, whom he’d feared seeing, had completely disarmed him by calling him Daddy.
Chelsea stood and walked to the bathroom. She turned on the light, then turned off the light in the bedroom. He watched as she stood there collecting herself, then he scooted the chair to the door with his foot.
“Don’t be angry. He doesn’t know who I am,” Russell whispered.
Her damp eyes went wide, and her nostrils flared. She was mad. He’d seen this side enough times to know.
She stepped back and motioned to him to get in the bathroom with her. When he managed, she shut the door.
“Angry? You think I’m angry?” she whispered loudly.
“You don’t want him to call me dad. It upset you.”
“No.” The word came on a sob. “It surprised me. It moved me.”
He reached out his hand to her. “It moved me too.”
“I don’t want to confuse him.”
Russell let out a long breath. “You plan to let his father be part of his life, then?”
She shook her head. “No. By law, he has been removed from his life. He has no rights to him.”
“But Lucas knows his father?’
“No.”
“Then what’s to confuse him?”
She turned from him and then spun back. “He just met you. The kids at the daycare have dads. He knows about them, he just never…”
“Never realized he didn’t have one around?” She nodded. “Are you opposed to me being his dad?”
She lifted her eyes to meet his. “It’s all I ever wanted. He should have been your son.”
“Then let him be.”
“Russell, you’re not one to take on someone else’s kid.”
“Says who?”
She opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it again. “That’s a lot of responsibility. It’s not just giving him rides on your lap in your wheelchair. It’s not just friends showing up as Santa. There’s so much more to it.”
“Have you met my family? Have you met my father? Chelsea, I’m not a stranger to what it takes.”
“He’d be lucky to have a man like your father.”
“I’d be honored to try and be like my father.”
“And when you get out of that chair, then what? When my duty ends here, then what? Russell, this is all new.”
“No. It’s just been on hiatus. Let me be his father. Let him call me Dad. I want the job. I’m begging for the job.”
“You’ve been around him a few days. This is a lifetime you’re talking about.”
“And if he had been my son, I’d still have loved him in those first few days and taken it on for a lifetime.”
Chelsea leaned against the counter. “I want perfect for him, Russ. I don’t just want names to change. If you’re only going to be Russell to him, then be that.”
He smiled, and he could see the line between her brows form in confusion. “You don’t want me just to be Russell and have him call me dad. Daddies and mommies
go together.”
She chuckled. “Yes, I guess that’s what I’m saying.”
“Marry me tomorrow then. Make this a Christmas no one will ever forget.”
Chelsea let out a breath of annoyance and tossed her hands in the air. “Don’t just throw that around, Russell. That’s not funny.”
“I’m not laughing.”
She moved to him and knelt down in front of him. “As perfect as it sounds, it’s impractical.”
He shook his head and laughed. “It sounds that way. Marry me anyway, Chelsea. Marry me and let me adopt Lucas. Let me be his daddy. Let my parents be his grandparents. I’m sure you can tell, no one is going to turn him away.”
She took his hand in hers and kissed his knuckles. “I need something from you first. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me you forgive me. I have yet to forgive myself, but if you…”
“I forgive you, Chels. I forgive you for being human and making a decision that turned out in some ways to be a blessing. I forgive you for breaking my heart, for the moment, and teaching me that nothing is forever, and if you don’t put into it, it could go away.”
She lifted her hand to his cheek. “You snuck in that apology you said you owed me, huh?”
“If I’d have been the man you needed then, you wouldn’t have had to leave me. But I’m that man now. Even sitting here in a freaking stupid chair and I can’t stand up and walk with you or carry your son, I’m more man than I’ve ever been. Marry me and let me be Lucas’s father.”
“Russell, I’ve never wanted anything more than to be your wife, and have you as the father of my children.”
“That’s a yes?”
“Yes. So much a yes that I’d marry you tomorrow if it were possible.”
“Come here,” he urged her off her knees to face him and pressed his lips to hers. In that very moment, he knew it was true and forever love, just like what his parents had. This wasn’t a wish made that came true. This was fraught with hardship and forgiveness. It wasn’t even based on sex and urges. He couldn’t carry her off and make love to her to seal the deal. They had to see each other for what they were at that moment. And they were lovers that never stopped loving. Obstacles kept them apart, but now they were together. He’d be damned if he’d ever lose that again.
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