Vanessa decided that if she went about her normal routine, that would help move time along. She took out lamb chops to cook with rosemary for Eric along with string beans to make with baked potatoes in garlic and butter. Just as the food was finishing and she was pouring Eric a glass of wine, she heard him pull into the driveway. Her heart began to race in her chest and her palms started sweating. She looked at the clock as it felt like her body was going to separate into a billion pieces and fly into a gazillion different directions.
“Keep calm, Vanessa. Just act normal. Don’t give off any signals,” she said to herself.
When she heard his key turning the lock to the door, she put on a somber facial expression, not wanting to look too happy or excited.
“Hey babe,” Eric said as he came in the house. “Smells good in here. What’s for dinner?”
“Oh, just some lamb chops cooked in rosemary, string beans and white potatoes cooked in garlic and butter,” Vanessa replied softly.
“Sounds good,” he said before kissing her softly on the lips. “You feeling any better?” he asked.
“Huh?” Vanessa asked, forgetting that she told him she thought she might be coming down with the flu earlier.
“You said you felt like you were getting sick. Are you feeling any better?” Eric asked.
“Oh… I feel a little better. It’s probably something I ate yesterday,” she managed a slight smile.
“Oh okay,” he replied just as his phone rang. He picked up. “Yo, Tremaine. What’s up bro?” And like all of his conversations around her, he left the kitchen and went into the front room to keep Vanessa out of his business. Vanessa peeped out of the window and saw Camille come out of the house and begin to tend to her rose bush just as she said she would. Vanessa admired how happy she appeared to be. She figured it must be nice to be married to a man that not only loved and respected her, but worked with her as a unit. She saw Camille as a very beautiful woman, tall and shapely. Though she wasn’t very busty, she had very wide hips with a large backside. She was as dark as a Hershey candy bar, her skin smooth and rich with melanin. She could tell by the way Tremaine hugged and kissed her whenever she saw them together, that he loved and cherished Camille very much. She craved to experience that kind of love, but knew she would never have that with Eric.
Vanessa began feeling even more nervous. Doubt started to creep in her mind as she begin to think what she was about to do was wrong, not to mention unfair to her unborn child to cut his or her father out of their life.
“Would you rather the child grows up in the home and sees you getting slapped around. Or worse, he smacks the child around?” the voice in her head asked. She didn’t think that would happen… but then again, she didn’t think Eric would be knocking her around like the way he was doing either.
Before she could finish thinking her next thought, she felt the sting from Eric’s hand as he slapped her in her face. She cried out and stumbled into the bench, which barely caught her. She clung to the side of the counter to avoid completely falling on the floor.
“I’m talking to you and you’re staring off into the heavens like some fucking retard. What the fuck is your problem?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Vanessa cried. She lightly touched the corner of her mouth and wasn’t surprised to see spots of blood on her fingers. She looked up at him with contempt.
“Oh what, you want to challenge me like you’re a man now? Do I need to knock your ass back to reality?” Eric asked as he walked over to her quickly.
“No,” Vanessa replied as she coward against the counter. Eric stared at her for a moment longer before sipping from his wine glass.
“Tremaine finished his basement. I’m about to go over there and check it out. I won’t be gone too long. Cover my food up and go upstairs in the room until I get back,” Eric replied as if he were speaking to a child instead of the woman he claimed to love.
Vanessa stood up and fixed his plate before placing it on top of the stove with a lid over it. She then quietly went over to the stairs and made her way up to their bedroom. She peeked from behind the curtains and watched Eric go down the stairs of their house. She could hear him exchanging words with Camille.
“How you doing, Camille?” Eric replied with charm as he smiled. If Camille didn’t know any better, she would have assumed from the smile on his face that he was every woman’s dream man.
“Oh, hi Eric! How are you this evening?” Camille spoke in return with a smile.
“I’m good. Tremaine told me he finished doing his basement. I’m about to check it out.”
“Oh you’re going to love it. I just finished dinner also, so feel free to fix yourself something to eat while you’re in there.”
“Thanks, Cam. I appreciate it.” Eric walked into the house and shook Tremaine’s hand before following him down into the basement. Vanessa tapped on the window and Camille looked up at her. She then watched the door for a moment to see if Eric would come right back up. When he didn’t, she signaled for Vanessa to run.
Vanessa backed away from the window and ran down the stairs. She was about to go into the basement to leave out of the driveway when she stopped by Eric’s plate. She lift the lid covering his food and stared down at it before making a guttural sound in her throat. She then hawk-spit in his food.
“Muthafucka!” she said venomously. That was the first time she had ever used that kind of language before and it felt good. She ran down the stairs to the basement and left out, closing and locking the door behind her. All she had was one hundred dollars cash. She haul-assed down the driveway until she got to the end and even then, she didn’t stop running. It was almost as though she couldn’t stop running. She felt like a runaway slave. In her mind, she kept saying again and again “I’m free! I’m free!”
“Not yet,” the voice in her head echoed as air pumped in and out of her lungs.
“Shut up, bitch!” Vanessa said quietly. She heard a horn beep and tires screech as they strained to come to a halt.
“Stupid bitch! Pay attention to where you’re running!” the driver yelled at her.
“FUCK YOU!” Vanessa shouted back, before taking off running down the driveway.
Camille was still tending to her bush in the front of her home. She was saying a little prayer that Eric stayed down in the basement for at least another half hour. That would give Vanessa a chance to get to Marcella and start her route. She began walking into the house when she heard Eric coming up the stairs.
“You hooked it up real nice down there. The surround sound with the sub woofers and the three flat screens are a perfect set up for a good fight night or super bowl. Man, you got me thinking I need to get myself my own little man-cave in the house.” He and Tremaine laughed like they were old war buddies. Camille was almost in a panic when she saw Eric headed towards the front door.
“Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting you to leave so soon. You’re not watching the game?” Camille asked casually as she took her gardening gloves off.
“No, I’ma go kick back and relax with my lady tonight. Do the romance thing since she isn’t feeling well,” Eric replied.
“I completely forgot the game was coming on tonight. It’s the Bulls vs the Cavs. Is Derick Rose still hurt?” Tremaine asked as he opened a beer.
“I think he did something to his elbow. I can’t even keep up with all of the injuries this man done had this season,” Eric replied.
“Yeah it ain’t like back in the day where Iverson dislocated his shoulder and was expected to be out for the rest of the season but came back two games later. These cats ain’t got that kind of heart anymore.”
“How about that…” Eric replied. Before he knew it, Tremaine had him talking about sports for another twenty-five minutes. He finally looked at his watch. “Yeah, let me head on out of here. I know my food is probably cold by now. I’ma see you for that Mayweather fight in a couple of weeks.”
“Oh most definitely,” Tremaine replied, shaking Eric’
s hand as though they were good friends. Eric said good-night to them both and went back to his house.
“Babe!” Eric called out as he closed the door behind him and locked it. “She better not had fell asleep and my damn food on the stove all cold,” he said. He went upstairs into the bedroom. “V-dot…” he looked around, puzzled. “Well where the hell is she?” He looked in the bathroom and then the other bedrooms, all which turned up empty. “I know this bitch ain’t leave the house and not tell me where she was going,” he grumbled as he made his way back down the stairs. “Vanessa!” he called down into the basement even though he knew she wasn’t down there because she had a fear of basements. He remembered how she screamed and begged him to let her out of the basement when he locked her in there one time after she burned his dinner.
Eric walked past the stove when he noticed his food was uncovered. He was about to cover it up but took a double take.
“What the fuck?!” he exclaimed. “Did this bitch…?” he stood there staring at the thick wad of spit in his food feeling a fury rise within him. How disgusting did a bitch have to be to spit in a person’s food? He swore when he got his hands on her, he was going to fuck her up something fierce. It then occurred to him that she left him and the spit in his food was her way of saying “fuck you” to him before leaving. He slapped the plate over in anger causing the plate to flip, fall to the floor and break while spilling its contents all over the place.
“You bitch! You fucking bitch! Where the fuck are you?!” he snapped as he stormed from the kitchen to the living room. He kicked the trash can over as he passed through, his anger causing him to miss the pregnancy tests that Vanessa put inside earlier. He left out of the house and jumped in his car figuring she hadn’t gone far. He would find her and bring her back home so they could talk… so they could have a nice, long face to fist conversation.
Camille was watching from her kitchen window and saw when he left out the house to go find Vanessa.
“And there he goes…” Camille replied as she watched him back out of his drive-way. “Bet money he is going to try to see if he finds her at Broad and Olney or Cheltenham depot or something.”
Tremaine slipped an apple slice in his mouth. “You know damn well he is, that controlling sonuva bitch. He’s probably mad because he never saw the shit coming. Did she get to Marcella’s yet?”
Just as Tremaine was asking his question, Camille’s phone went off with a text message coming through. “Package received,” it said.
“Yup, she just got there.”
“Good,” Tremaine replied as he looked out the window. “Let’s just hope she keeps going…”
6
Vanessa was huddled over the toilet bowl puking her guts out. The morning sickness seemed to be getting worse with no relief in sight. She had been gone from Eric for almost two months but had only made it to her second stop due to the pregnancy slowing her down. The women who were helping her were very understanding and took special care of her to avoid any stops to a hospital.
Even though she was told to sever ties from her past, she knew there was no way she could walk away from her mother without a word and not run the risk of her mother putting out a missing report on her. After losing her father tragically when she was 16, Vanessa and her mother were extremely close. After explaining that to Marcella, she was allowed to make one call.
“Mom, I just want you to know that if you don’t hear from me for a while, I’m okay. I had to leave Eric, mom. You kept saying it was something about him that you didn’t like and I guess mothers always knows…” Vanessa trailed off for a moment and took a deep breath. “I just want you to know that I’m okay and I love you. I’ll try to be in touch soon. And if Eric comes to you asking if you know where I am, please tell him you have not heard from me. Okay… I love you, mommy.” Vanessa hung the phone up as the tears stung her eyes. It pained her to leave that voicemail but she figured it was better than actually talking to her mother and having to dodge or avoid questions or outright lie to her.
Vanessa managed to make it to a small suburban town just outside of Baltimore. Her first stop was in Delaware. At first, she thought she was being passed around like a cheap date until a woman explained to her that she was traveling through a modern day “underground railroad” for battered women. Each stop was secretive and the destinations were never revealed to the woman traveling through, nor was her final stop. She was provided with food, shelter, money and even clothing.
Though it was strongly forbidden, Vanessa wanted desperately to reach out to her mother again or even Arianna to let them know that she was alright. She imagined that her mother was beside herself with worry, sure that Eric went to her with some sad, sob story about how she had left him without so much as a word or explanation, faking concern and worry, pretending to give a damn about her whereabouts when really he was probably upset that she got the drop on him and he couldn’t find her.
Many nights she had gotten lonely, and while she did not miss the abuse she suffered from his hand, she sometimes missed lying next to him and feeling his arms around her. She remembered what Camille said about there being times where sweet memories would creep into her mind trying to override all of the horrible memories of the abuse, and foolishly try to convince her to return home. To help her cope with those feelings of heartache and her longing to be near him, she thought of her unborn baby and let the memories of the bruised ribs, the busted lips, the black eyes and the constant fear that he had her living in, snap her back to her senses so she could keep moving through this journey that would help her start a new life.
One afternoon, while she was in a car waiting for her caretaker to pick up a few things inside of Walmart, she noticed that she left her cellphone in the car. Vanessa bit her bottom lip as she looked from the doors leading inside of the store to the cellphone, contemplating whether or not she should call her mother just so she could hear her voice and let her know she was okay. She decided against calling her mother, knowing that Eric would more than likely try to sweet talk her into giving up any information that she had. She knew it would be a cold day in hell before he went to Arianna to find out if she knew where she was. Vanessa figured Arianna could pass the word along to her mother to let her know that she was okay. She also wanted to let Arianna know she was going to be a God-mother.
Vanessa snatched the phone up and dialed Arianna’s number quickly as she kept an eye on the doors to Walmart.
“Who’s this?” Arianna asked in a groggy voice, not recognizing the number.
“Hey, chick! It’s me! Vanessa!”
“Oh my God, girl! Where the hell are you? Your momma is two seconds away from putting out a missing person’s report on you!” Arianna exclaimed as she sat up in her bed.
“I can’t talk too long,” Vanessa said quickly as she continued to watch the doors. “I just wanted you to know that I left Eric.”
“It’s about damn time!” Arianna interjected. “I kinda figured that when your mom called me saying how Eric came to her crying and shit saying that you decided to take a trip to Miami for a little while claiming you needed time and space from him. Shit, I thought he had pulled some Lacey Peterson shit. I said if I ain’t hear from you in the next 48 hours, I was filing a police report.”
“Shhh girl! I just said I can’t talk long! I can’t tell you where I am. There are some people who are helping me get away from Eric. I wasn’t even supposed to call you, but I couldn’t just leave things the way that they were. I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m on like an underground railroad for battered women…” Arianna burst out laughing. Vanessa giggled with her. “I’m serious, chica. Don’t tell my mom too much. Just tell her I love her, I’m okay and I will do my best to get in touch with her. And tell her she’s going to be a grandmother. And you’re going to be a Godmother.”
Arianna gasped. “Girrrrl! And your mom told me she dreamt of fish, looking at me all suspicious and shit. Awwww girl, I’m so happy for you even though you�
��re carrying the spawn of the devil. Is that what made you leave?” she asked.
Vanessa saw her caretaker coming out of Walmart. “I’ve gotta go! Don’t call this number back for any reason. I mean it Arianna. I love you, girl. But before I go, I want to say I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you that day you pulled that knife on Eric. I was wrong and I never should have put a man over you. I’ll never let that happen again. I love you, sis.”
Arianna became teary eyed. “I love you too, sis. Cradle to the grave, boo. Cradle to the grave.”
Vanessa kissed in her ear and hung up. She quickly deleted the number from the call log and put the phone back as though nothing happened. Then she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. She heard the car door open and shifted in her chair.
“Everything okay?” her caretaker asked her.
Vanessa stretched before answering. “Yeah, everything is fine. Where are we headed next?”
“You have an 11 o’clock train leaving Bethesda which will take you to your next stop. They’ll take care of you from there,” her caretaker replied.
“Oh wow…” Vanessa replied.
“I got you something to eat and a couple bottles of water,” she handed Vanessa a wallet. “This is the identification that you will use once you get to your next stop. You’ll go by the name Carmen. Start reciting “My name is Carmen” over and over in your head so you get used to it in the event you are ever stopped. Inside of the envelope is a birth certificate, social security card, and a driver’s license.”
“What a minute… a name change? My identity is changing?” Vanessa asked frantically. “Why?”
Love's Deadly Masquerade Page 6