by LuAnn McLane
He propped his leg up and lounged on the sofa, but Tony felt anything but relaxed no matter how hard he tried. As the day wore on, it just about drove him crazy to know he could have had Trish warm and willing in his bed. She said that all he needed to do was kiss her and she would be powerless to stop him. But what was even worse was that he knew she was upset. Emotional. Probably feeling a lot of the same shit he was going through all afternoon. God, seeing her tears made his gut churn. For the millionth time he thought about hobbling over there and checking on her but shook his head. “No, damn it. . . . No, no, no!” Tony grumbled, causing Digger to hang his head. “Aw, Dig, not you,” he said, and patted him on top of the head.
Tony’s stomach rumbled and even though he knew he needed to eat, the thought of food still didn’t appeal. He’d stored the chili away and decided that he might try some heated up in the microwave. Just when he’d started to hobble toward the kitchen, a knock at the back door had his heart kicking it up a notch. Digger beat him to the door just as Reese came walking in.
“Hey there, Digger,” Reese said with a big grin. He knelt down and gave the happy dog a belly rub.
“You can let him out for a few minutes,” Tony said. “Let me guess. Tessa sent you over here to check up on me?”
“Yeah, the dining room is closed and I had a delivery over at My Way Recording Studio, so she suggested that I stop by. How’s the ankle?”
“Actually getting a little bit better. I hate to admit she was right, but my stubborn ass just needs to stay off it for a few days.”
“Sit down and I’ll get you a beer,” Reese offered, and then opened up the fridge.
Tony plopped down and propped his leg up. “Hey, shouldn’t you get back?”
Reese shrugged. “Everything is ready for tomorrow. Mom was just cleaning up and making lists for everything.” He handed him a beer and then shook his head. “Dude, you need to ice that monster.”
“I’ve been icing it all damned day. I think my ankle is permanently frozen.”
“Uncle Tony . . .”
“Okay, toss me a bag of ice. It’s in the freezer.”
“You eat anything all day?”
“Not hungry.”
“What was that stuff in the fridge? It smells kinda different but good.”
“Cincinnati chili.”
“Cincinnati . . . oh, the neighbor writer chick.” Reese arched an eyebrow. “You have a weird look on your face.”
“It’s because my damned ankle is a Popsicle. You’d have a funny look on your face too.”
“You suck at lying. Care to spill? I won’t tell Mom.”
Tony sighed. He and Reese had gotten through some tough times together, and now that he was an adult, and an amazing one at that, they’d become more like brothers. “I made a huge mistake. I kissed Trish.”
Reese sat up straighter. “Aw, man, how was it?”
“Amazing.”
“So . . . are you gonna start something with her?”
“Hell no.”
“Why?”
“You know why. I’m still a hot mess. I have a restaurant to run and . . . and . . .”
“You’re scared shitless.”
“Yeah, that.”
“Well, man up.”
Tony took a slug of beer. “If only it were that easy.”
“It is.”
“Shut up.”
Reese sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Look, I know what you’re gonna tell me again. Like a damned broken record. That I’m giving Gloria the power to keep me down.”
“Do you still have feelings for her, Uncle Tony? Is that what this is all about?”
“No, oh, hell no! Catching her screwing another guy lifted those blinders off for good. But why would I invite the possibility to have the same damned thing happen to me again? I mean, obviously I believed in her and didn’t see the writing on the wall. How could I not have seen right through her from the beginning? Am I that stupid?”
“No! You’re an honest, hardworking, all-around great guy. You see the good in people. Gloria played you. Hey, we all liked her in the beginning. She had us all fooled.”
“So what’s to say I won’t get fooled again?”
Reese looked at him with serious eyes. “I had a similar conversation with Mom about moving on. You’re both good people and deserve a shot at happiness.”
Tony twirled his beer bottle around. “I think Tessa still loves your dad, Reese. I also think she has this wild-ass hope that he’s gonna waltz back into town with some grand explanation and set things straight.”
“Then she’s living in la-la land. And I can’t seem to do a damned thing about it.” Reese shook his head. “Hey, but listen, we’re talking about you, remember?”
“No, I’m boring. I wanna know about you and sweet little Gabby Goodwin. How’s that movin’ along?” Tony asked, and watched the play of emotion cross over Reese’s face.
“I’m in love with her, Uncle Tony.”
“Oh, Reese, man, I’m so happy for you. At least one of us should be lucky in love. Why do I hear a great big but in there somewhere?”
“But sometimes I think she still looks at me like I’m that wild kid from back in high school and that she’s fighting her feelings for me instead of embracing them. It’s pretty frustrating.”
“Yeah, I get that, but you gotta remember that that kid is the last memory she has of you, Reese. And, dude, you were a handful.”
“Yeah, and look at me. I’m still not a suit and tie. Never will be. So if that’s what Gabby wants . . . well, I guess I’m screwed.”
“You think she wants someone like Drew?”
Reese lifted one shoulder. “I think he represents stability to Gabby. Something she hasn’t had the luxury to have in her life. I’m just going to take it slow. But damn it, it’s hard not to tell her how much I really care about her.”
Tony sighed. “Yeah, well, take it from me. You gotta have trust or you got nothin’.”
“I hear ya.”
“So, what the hell are you doin’ here? Head on over there with one of those sweet-ass desserts you make. If that Italian cream cake doesn’t melt her heart, nothin’ will.”
Reese pointed at Tony. “Excellent idea.”
“I have my moments.” He waved at Reese. “Now get outta here!”
Reese scooted the chair back and stood up. “Okay, but if you need anything just give me a call. And hey, don’t worry about tomorrow. We’re fully staffed and I’ve got Ryan making a pretty mean pizza, leaving me open to do other things. Mom is making chicken piccata and I’m making meatballs, so we have a couple of main courses to write on the chalkboard. The menu will just have to be a bit limited until you’re back in action.” Reese clamped a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Just get better, okay?”
“I will.” When Reese opened the door, Digger bounded inside. “Hey, Reese?”
He turned around.
“I’m so proud of you, ya know?”
Reese smiled back at him. “Yeah, I know.”
Tony watched his nephew leave and felt a lump of emotion get lodged in his throat. Funny how he’d helped Reese through a tough time and now the kid was doing the same thing for him. He had family. A growing business. “Life could be worse,” he said to Digger.
But then the image of Trish filled his head. “And a whole lot better, huh, Dig?”
18
What Matters Most
WHEN REESE ARRIVED BACK AT RIVER ROW PIZZA AND Pasta, he was surprised to see Gabby and his mother sitting at a table deep in conversation. Even more surprising was the bottle of Wild Turkey and two glasses sitting on the checkered tablecloth. To his knowledge, neither his mother nor Gabby was a big drinker, especially the hard stuff. His mother cradled her glass in her hands and after a second took a sip witho
ut making a face or flinching. Neither of them even noticed his entry into the room. What the hell?
A big bouquet of red roses sat on a small table next to them. At first Reese felt a flash of alarm, thinking that the flowers might be for Gabby from Drew, but why would she bring them here? That left his mother. Her mascara was smudged as if she’d been crying. Gabby’s eyes were also filled with tears. Reese swallowed hard and walked their way. “Mom? What’s wrong?” he asked gently, prepared for the worst. His legs suddenly felt as if they were made of rubber and he had to grab the back of a chair for support. “Who sent the flowers?” he asked.
“Your . . . your father,” she answered brokenly, and swiped at her cheek.
Reese bit back an oath before sitting down. He looked over at Gabby, who seemed at a loss for words. The Wild Turkey suddenly held a hell of a lot of appeal.
“It’s our twenty-eighth wedding anniversary.” She sounded so tired, so sad that it clawed at Reese’s heart.
“Was there a note?” Reese asked. “I mean, are you sure it was from . . .” He couldn’t say the word dad. “. . . him?”
A tear slid down her cheek and she nodded.
“Tessa? Is it okay to show Reese the note?” Gabby asked.
She closed her eyes and nodded again.
Gabby handed him the small white envelope. Reese tried but couldn’t keep his fingers from trembling when he slid the card out. The note read I don’t blame you if you never forgive me, but I will love you always. I think of you every day but especially today. Reese wanted to rip the note to shreds and throw the damned flowers in the trash. Something of what he was thinking must have shown on his face, because his mother was now looking at him with a ravaged expression.
“I know there’s a reason for your father leaving, Reese.”
“Mom,” Reese said gently. “What reason could there possibly be for a husband and father to leave his family? Are you forgetting that he cleaned out your bank account first? You’re acting like he went off to war and is missing in action. He’s just missing.”
“He must have had a good reason. Reese, we loved each other so much. He loved you. Adored you. We’d been saving for the down payment on a house. I . . .” She faltered and took another sip of her bourbon. “I wish I knew.”
Reese stood up so fast that his chair toppled over and hit the floor. After righting it he stomped over and got a glass from behind the counter and came back over to the table. With a shaking hand he poured a generous shot and tossed it back, letting the bourbon burn down his throat and splash into his churning stomach. “I’m gonna find him,” Reese said flatly. “Track him down and make him give you some answers.”
“No,” Tessa said. “If he’s in hiding, there has to be a reason. Maybe he’s in some kind of danger?”
Reese gave his mother’s hand a gentle pat. He understood. For a long time he had conjured up some pretty elaborate reasons that his father might have disappeared, most of them sounding more like a movie than real life. After a while he had given up and faced reality. “Like I said, you deserve to know. It’s high time we found out once and for all.” He gave her hand a firm squeeze.
Reese looked at Gabby. “Where did the order come from?”
“The order came from my Web page and was paid through PayPal. I didn’t put two and two together at first.”
Reese would have asked more questions about a billing address, but Gabby looked uncomfortable and in truth he didn’t know if he wanted his mother to have that information until he knew more. “Yeah, he’s hiding because he’s ashamed,” he ground out. “And he should be. He needs to man up and face the music.” He glanced at Gabby, whose eyes were big and round. He hated that she was witness to this and his anger. God, she had to feel it radiating from every pore in his body. So much for her thinking he was stable. He shoved fingers through his hair. Maybe he wasn’t. “Do you want me to call Uncle Tony and get him over here?”
“No, he needs to stay off that ankle. I’ll be fine. This is just a shock. I haven’t heard from Mike in such a long time. I was worried. I was . . .” She stopped and shrugged.
Gabby tilted her head as if unsure whether she should speak up. “I knew this was going to be hard. I usually love delivering flowers, but I dreaded bringing the roses to you.”
“Oh, Gabby, you are such a sweetheart. No, it’s fine, really. Look, why don’t you two get out of here and do something fun? Relax and watch a movie or something. It’s still early for kids your age, right?”
“Mom, I’m not leaving you,” Reese insisted. He looked at Gabby, trying to get a bead on how she was taking this. As much as he’d been looking forward to seeing Gabby, he needed to make sure his mom was okay.
“Oh, honey, it’s nearly my bedtime. Truly, I’ll be just fine,” she insisted, and Reese wished he could believe her. Her words might be firm, but the haunted look in her eyes told another story.
“Why don’t you walk your mom home, Reese? If it’s not too late you can drop by my place later. I’ll be up for a while.”
Reese looked at his mother.
“Sounds like a good plan.” Tessa smiled, but her bottom lip trembled a little bit. When Gabby stood up she did the same and gave her a hug. “Thanks for hanging out with me for a little bit. And erase that worry from your pretty face. This is just . . . life.”
Gabby nodded, but Reese noticed that she pressed her lips together hard as if warding off tears. He walked over and gave her a hug too. “Thanks. I’ll stop by later for sure.” He squeezed her shoulders and then placed a light kiss on her cheek.
“No hurry,” Gabby whispered in his ear. “Take care of your mama.”
Reese nodded and then walked her to the door. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Hey, stay with her if she needs you, okay?”
“I will,” Reese promised, falling even more in love with her.
• • •
After locking up the restaurant, Reese walked his mother down the sidewalk along the banks of the river. Decorative streetlamps illuminated the way, casting a soft glow that sliced through the muted darkness. “Are you really okay, Mom? Be honest with me.”
When they paused she set the vase down on the sidewalk and stood facing the water, watching the tiny waves lazily lap against the shore.
“If you want me to I can chuck those into the water.” He picked up a rock and tossed it to demonstrate. “I’ve still got a pretty good arm.”
Tessa glanced down at the roses and sighed. “A big part of me wants you to.”
“Or I could give you the honors.”
She reached down and pulled one long-stemmed rose from the bouquet, lifted it to her nose, and inhaled it. “I’ve just always felt as if there’s more to the story than we know.”
“If you believe that, why have you resisted trying to find him? Contact him? Nowadays it’s pretty easy to track somebody down, Mom. Unless they’ve gone into some serious hiding.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She hesitated and then gave Reese a sideways glance. “I guess I was afraid of being proven wrong. Clinging to hope even if it was a false sense of hope was easier in a lot of ways. Or at least I thought so.”
“You know that’s not healthy, right?”
“Yeah,” she answered quietly. “I know. But why do you think he sent the flowers? Why now?”
Reese felt a flash of anger and had to pause and toss another rock into the water to calm down. “I don’t have a clue. But seriously, Mom, how could you even entertain the thought of taking him back if he would have the nerve to show up?”
She ran a fingertip down the rose petal. “I don’t really know that I could. But the hard part for me is that there wasn’t any argument before he left. Nothing leading up to it or any clue that when Mike left for work that morning he would never come back.” She inhaled a deep breath. “I know it must sound crazy, but that last kiss on
the cheek that he gave me is frozen in time . . . along with my feelings.”
“And that’s the reason you deserve to know why. I really think it’s the only way for you to have closure and to move on. And I deserve to know too. Just say the word and we’ll track him down.”
She nodded. “I’m getting there. Let me process this and then we’ll go from there.”
Reese picked up her hand and squeezed it. This was a start. He wasn’t going to push it. Getting the damned flowers might even turn out to be a good thing if it led her in the right direction. “You let me know. Ready to head home?”
She nodded.
The walk was a short one, up the hill just to the edge of town. The cute little brick bungalow suited his mother, and he knew she was so proud to be a home owner. She’d come such a long way on her own with only occasional help from her parents. Since she carried the damned flowers, Reese held open the white wooden gate.
“I know you don’t want to, but you’ll have to hold these while I fish around in my purse for my keys.”
“You’re a better person than me. You know how I feel. I would have chucked these things in the Ohio River,” he admitted.
Tessa slipped the key in the lock and opened the door adorned with a grapevine wreath. “A smarter person would, I suppose.”
“You’re far from stupid, Mom.” He handed her the flowers.
She flicked on the kitchen light. “I’m so glad that we talked about this tonight. As hard as it was to do.” She rubbed a petal between her fingers. “Oh, Reese, so many years have gone by. I don’t spend my days depressed any longer, and having you and Tony back here really helps.”
“I’m glad to be living close to you.” He’d loved his time in Brooklyn, but Cricket Creek felt like home in a way the big city never had.
“I know in my head that I should be so angry, but none of the pieces fit. Like I said, we were just so . . . happy. We were looking at land to build a house and Mike was going to try to buy Fred’s shop when he retired.”
“But, Mom, I want you to move forward.” He swept a hand toward the flowers. “Come on, he had to know sending these would upset you. How the hell does he know where to find you still, anyway?”