I get so many e-mails every day asking me for decorating tips and ideas. I think the one thing I consistently have to remind everyone of is that you don’t have to need to have what I call “pedigree furniture pieces.” Believe it or not, I know how to decorate on a budget. When we bought our house in Malibu, we were definitely stretching it. Aaron gave me a budget of $6,000 to do the whole house.
There are so many wonderful online resources these days. I’ve even bought a couple of wooden headboards for under $200. I’ve also bought a couple of nice sofas for about the same price. If you know your color palette, I also highly recommend going to The Home Depot. They have everything from blinds and furniture to wall décor and bedding.
Based on the success of Selling Spelling Manor, HGTV wanted to create another reality miniseries around designing and building The Century. Filming for HGTV brought on a layer of stress that really took me by surprise. We were on a tight time line for filming and yet we had no control over the obstacles being faced by the construction crew. We had the typical delays anybody building or remodeling experiences. The only difference is that a delay for the construction crew meant a delay on the shooting schedule.
At The Manor our challenge had been to get out of the house on time. At The Century, our challenge was getting in. Truthfully, we could have staged some rooms or cheated the cameras so that we didn’t capture the vendors who were still working on the condo. I know this would have made my producer’s life much easier, but I am a true perfectionist and didn’t want anyone to film anything that didn’t meet my standards.
As each room was finished, The Century felt more like my home, but I didn’t have more than a few minutes to appreciate it because then we had to get the crew over to film it. That’s how it was. We raced to finish a room and then we raced to film it.
What most people don’t know is that I took all of the furniture and artwork from The Manor and integrated them into my new home. I think one of the biggest compliments I got was from one of my security personnel who has been with me for ten years. He was very familiar with The Manor, yet when he stepped off the elevator at the finished condo for the first time, he was speechless. He walked around and looked at the artwork, family photographs, furniture, and accessories and recognized them all from The Manor. They were the same pieces arranged differently, so they all seemed new.
Ironically, my master suite was the last room to be finished. It was a long time coming, and I was finally home. I think in my mind, I had imagined a big celebration when I was finally done with what ended up being a three-year journey. I didn’t have any energy left for celebrating. Madison and I were both exhausted, so we just went to bed. A few weeks later, I christened my Manor in the Sky by hosting a fund-raiser for L.A.’s BEST. We had about seventy people over for drinks and appetizers. It was very exciting to have my first gathering in my new home.
We shot some footage of the fund-raiser for Beyond Spelling Manor. It was icing on the cake when the show, which aired recently, was a top ten–rated show on HGTV. We beat out TLC, Style Network (now Esquire Network), and AMC’s movie of the week.
At some point during the construction, I realized that this would be the first time that I would be moving into a new home alone since my L-shaped apartment in New York City. Somewhere along the line, the unforeseen adventure of my life had propelled me forward. Everything fell into place, and I went from being a decorator to the architect of my own world. I never saw it coming, but I was ready for it when it happened.
31
Candy Gram
It’s hard to believe that I am the grandmother of six little grandchildren. It seems like just yesterday I was awaiting the arrival of my first grandchild, Liam. Once he arrived, he opened the floodgates for the rest of his cousins to follow. Tori and Dean have three other children, Stella, Hattie, and Finn. Since Tori and Dean have enjoyed so much success in television, I think most of America is very familiar with the McDermott clan. They’re really sort of like a modern-day Partridge Family.
Randy has given me two precious granddaughters, Sage and Lotus. Sage is almost three, and Lotus turned one a few months ago. Lotus has a very cute nickname; they call her “Lolo.” For some reason, the last time I visited, I just couldn’t get the nickname right. I kept getting tongue-tied and calling her “Lulu” or “Lola.” It was one of those things where I kept worrying I was going to say it wrong and then I did. The kids all know what to call me since I am their “Candy Gram.”
Aaron, I know, would have adored these little ones. It breaks my heart that he did not live to see them. They would have been so spoiled by him, and if he were still around, I could see him playing in the pool with them or using movie magic to create the same kind of spectacles he created for our children at the holidays.
I try to spend as much time with all of my grandchildren as I can. Tori and Dean are a real showbiz family, so they travel a lot for work, and it’s hard to keep up with their hectic schedules. Back when it was just Liam and Stella, I bought two car seats and had them both installed in the back of my car. It was so much fun to pick the children up and take them places. Before my condo at The Century was ready and I had officially moved in, the children’s playroom on the ground level of the building was complete, so I brought the kids with me and we went and played in there. I loved being able to incorporate the kids into my day that way. I was able to check in at the job site and spend time with them.
Another time, Tori let me have Liam and Stella for an extended sleepover at our home in Malibu. I thought of it as their first official “Spelling Staycation.” Dean was away in Canada, so it was a good opportunity for Tori to have some time to herself. She was so nervous about being away from her children. It was very sweet. I got a steady stream of texts from her.
“If you need anything or need me I’m right here.”
The children weren’t sleeping through the night yet, so this was weighing heavily on her mind. I think she was worried that they might not be able to sleep in unfamiliar surroundings or that I might not hear them if they called out. To be honest, I think she was also worried about me.
Here I was looking after two children under the age of five after more than three decades of not being around children. That’s a tall order for any woman. Then when you factor in my age, let’s just say I could see why Tori thought it was a little too much for me to handle. The kids were out of diapers by that time, but as all mothers remember, sometimes there are those middle-of-the-night accidents. I told Tori not to give it a second thought.
“If Stella has an accident, she has an accident.”
I was more concerned about my dog Madison than I was my bedding or my mattress. Madison is very sweet but a little shy, and Stella was more accustomed to dogs that were more outgoing and gregarious. So she and Madison are both a little nervous around each other, and neither one of them wants to make the first move. I wanted Stella to be completely comfortable, so I had Madison sleep downstairs, which is something she hasn’t done since she was being housebroken as a puppy.
At that age, the kids thought sleeping in the same bed with Grandma was just the “most fun,” so we all tucked in together that night. I think we must have all looked liked three baked potatoes lined up in my king-size bed. At about two in the morning, Stella was sitting bolt upright.
“Grandma! Grandma! Look what I did!”
I started feeling around the sheet, patting it down with my palms, thinking that for sure the bed was wet. Stella knew exactly what I was looking for.
“No, Grandma! I went to the bathroom all by myself and then I got back in my bed all by myself!”
Stella just melted my heart. She was so proud of herself, and I was so proud of her. Those rhythmic ocean waves must have done the trick because both Liam and Stella slept through the rest of the night. In fact, I had to wake them up at ten-thirty in the morning. It’s not too often that anyone sleeps later than I do, but they did. We all had such an amazing time. We played in the sand and made
lunch. One day we drove out to the Malibu Country Mart and saw a movie.
I had forgotten how many questions children ask at that age and how your attention has to be 100 percent focused on them at all times. By the end of the third day, my batteries were starting to run down, and I wanted to somebody to put me down for a nap. It made me very happy that at the end of our staycation, the kids had gotten so attached to me that they were sad to go home.
That really is one of the most wonderful parts of being the grandmother and not the mother. You get to experience all of the good stuff without the responsibility of parenting. As grandma, I am just the greatest person on earth. The kids love me unconditionally, and they don’t judge me.
The tough part of being a grandma is that you have to keep quiet and let your children parent their children. I have to say I am learning this as I go along and haven’t quite perfected it. Like any other grandparent, I make mistakes.
One afternoon, Tori and I were both at Stella’s ballet class. They were giving a recital that day and Stella was overly excited that we were all there together. I think it was so emotional for her that she suddenly got very vulnerable and wanted to sit with us instead of dancing with her class. She was especially clingy with Tori and just wanted to be held and cuddled. Tori kept encouraging her to get back into class and dance. Stella surprised us all by saying she would go only if she got some chewing gum. Tori didn’t think this was a good idea since she would be dancing, and it was also against the rules to chew gum during class.
Well, I just knew that Stella was not going to get herself back in there unless she had some gum. So I very discreetly reached into my purse and broke off not even half a piece of gum and then slipped to it my granddaughter. She was so cute. She knew not to call attention to herself or ask any questions. She knew Grandma was there to give her anything her parents didn’t want to. She quickly popped the gum into her mouth before anyone could catch her and then skipped her way back to her group.
A few minutes later, we could all see Stella’s little mouth chewing away as she pirouetted and leapt her way through the recital. Tori knew immediately I was the guilty party.
“Mom?”
Tori usually calls me “Mommy.” I’m only “Mom” when she is upset with me, so I kept my attention focused on all the little ballerinas and pretended not to hear her.
“Mom! You gave Stella some chewing gum!”
I continued my pretense that I couldn’t hear her above the recital music. Then a better strategy came to me. I adjusted my posture to look slightly offended and took in a breath so I could deliver my line with just enough of a little huff, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I’m not the world’s greatest actress, so I wasn’t very convincing. In all honesty, the way I saw it with the gum was that it was part of what my job as grandmother entails. The day after the recital, I took Liam and Stella to their favorite frozen yogurt parlor, Menchie’s. It was so terrific to watch them make their own yogurt sundaes and pile on the condiments. Honestly, their enthusiasm is contagious. Those kids just make everything fun. I’m really looking forward to Hattie and Finn being old enough so that I can indulge them in special time with Candy Gram too.
Randy and his wife, Leah, are incredible parents as well. They have transplanted themselves to the conscientious city of Portland, Oregon. It’s a great city with the beautiful Columbia River running through it. It’s a large, sophisticated city but with progressive, small-town values. They are raising their kids in a completely different way from Tori and Dean. It’s funny to think that Tori and Dean’s children are on television and Randy’s kids don’t even watch television. I have to say I was a bit skeptical of this at first, but after my last visit, I am a convert. My granddaughter Sage is only two, but she must have the vocabulary and motor skills of a four- or five-year-old. She is so articulate and friendly that even strangers she interacts with at the farmer’s market or other public places notice it.
What’s incredible about both of my children is how much time they spend with their children. They both also married people who are equally committed to prioritizing their children. Dean is a natural at being a parent. He is great hands-on dad. Randy and Leah are also a real team. They both share in the day-to-day responsibility of their children, and it shows. I think this is in large part why Sage is so present and intuitive, and I have no doubt Lotus will be the same way.
I recently violated my own rule about not offering unsolicited opinions to my children. In my own defense, I gave it some thought before I decided to be vocal. I so admire Randy and Leah’s hands-on approach to parenting. It is just the two of them without any help, and they are doing it all on their own. Even though they are enjoying it, every minute of their day is occupied. They never get a break and after spending a weekend with them, I worried that they might burn out.
So I got brave and found a gentle way of suggesting they carve out time for themselves and enlist some responsible part-time help. Randy was open and heard me out. I was happy that last week he checked in to let me know that they had found someone they trusted and were looking forward to having some time for themselves.
As a grandmother I have the wisdom of already having been a mother. So when I think about what I want for my grandchildren, I don’t just think about the best schools, the nicest clothes, or other material things. I have already set up school funds for each and every one of them so that they can have the very best educations. Apart from all that, my wish for them is that they are able to continue to blossom into the little unique individuals that they already are. If they are sensitive or creative or whatever it is that they are, I hope those special qualities are recognized in them and nurtured. And more than anything, I would like to be a part of that.
When I moved into The Manor in the Sky, I gave Tori and Randy what I like to call artifacts of our family. I kept enough stuff so that all of the grandchildren could inherit a piece of their family legacy. I think people always assume the family legacy is success in show business. Truthfully, I think all of that was just a wonderful by-product of the true Spelling legacy. As I see it, our family legacy is the ability to see it and bring it to life. I want my grandchildren to know that they can write their own life story, and, if they act courageously and overcome obstacles, they can make it happen.
Epilogue
The House That Built Me
One of my favorite yearly traditions has become attending the Hero Dog Awards put on by the American Humane Association. It’s a black-tie event honoring service dogs from around the country. The evening is filled with celebrities, animal advocates, and dog lovers. They even have a red carpet for the dogs to walk up just like they do at Hollywood premieres.
The service dogs are nominated by people, and then there is a vote to determine the winner. All the stories of the dogs and their owners are incredibly moving and powerful, but only one can win. The dog who gets the most votes is the winner, but obviously in this kind of competition, everybody wins.
Last year, one of my fellow judges was country singer Miranda Lambert. I don’t know very much about country music, but I do know this: Miranda Lambert loves animals. She and her organization MuttNation are tremendous supporters of the American Humane Association. I think she probably moved the entire nation to tears during the Healing the Heartland relief concert benefiting the victims of the tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. Her song The House That Built Me is just so poignant I couldn’t stop thinking about the lyrics.
I had never heard the song before the concert. At its core, it’s about a woman’s identity. The narrator of the song goes back to her childhood home as an adult in an attempt to resolve some feelings.
The song title, for obvious reasons, is very resonant with me. It made me think of being a little girl and sitting in front of our television set and laughing as George Burns and Gracie Allen bantered with each other. I never would have dreamed that one day my husband and I would be friends with this celebrity couple. I’ve always
referred to The Manor as the house I built or the house that Aaron and I built. The truth is, The Manor built me. It defined who I was to the public, and, even though I had never spoken in public, people believed they knew me and I became a controversial figure.
Gracie Allen had a famous quote that I love: “I’m a very lucky woman. I was courted by the youngest, handsomest, most charming, most sought-after star in show business—but I still married George because I loved him.” This always reminded me of Aaron. My story with Aaron was very different from Gracie’s story with George, but the quote really captured the idea that the human heart is full of mysteries.
For thirty-eight years I was the “better half” of one of the most rarified marriages in Hollywood. It was only when my husband passed away that I came into my own. With my better half gone, I was left to find my own better self. I never felt that I was in the shadow of my marriage. I was happy and proud to be Mrs. Aaron Spelling. I honestly just never thought of life without Aaron, so when it came so soon and unexpectedly, it was as if someone had turned the lights out.
I suppose I could have just stayed in The Manor and been Aaron’s widow, but I was determined to forge my own fate and find my identity. Going forward with a new life when you’re in your sixties is frightening and wonderful all at the same time. I laugh when I tell myself that I am just grateful when I wake up each morning. I am at a time in life when you hear, “Just be happy you have your health,” and as soon as the person has said it, they knock on wood. I am in full agreement with this sentiment. The strange thing is, in my heart, I still feel nineteen.
Since selling The Manor, people will ask me if I miss it or if I would like to go back there one last time. The truth is, I don’t. I have my memories, and fortunately I have no regrets or feelings about The Manor or my marriage that I need to go back there to resolve.
Candy at Last Page 19